Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
~CAMERON~
K eegan turns to me with a smile, and then that smile disappears when recognition dawns. “I thought you were going to Ireland with Maggie three days ago.”
I shake my head. “No. I didn’t go. I’m gonna need a beer, please.”
The other man’s eyes narrow on me, but he reaches for a clean glass and builds me a Guinness, just as Tom walks over and claps me on the shoulder.
“What are you doing here, lad? You’re supposed to be with my Maggie.”
Just keep cutting my heart out, why don’t you ? I knew better than to come into the pub.
“I didn’t go,” I reply shortly and sip the beer.
The two men are quiet, and then Keegan gets pulled away to help another customer.
“Shall we talk about it, then?” Tom asks simply and climbs onto the stool next to mine.
God, I’ve been dreading this. I’m an idiot. I never should have started something with her. I knew if it fell apart, it’d change everything between the entire fucking family and me. And that hurts almost as much as losing Maggie.
“Are you just going to drink?” Tom asks.
“I don’t honestly know what to say,” I reply at last.
“I’ve always found the best place to start is the beginning.”
After another sip, I tap my fingers on the glass, lift it, and gesture for Tom to join me at one of the booths in the corner, where it’s a bit more private.
Once we’re seated, I take a deep breath.
“Before I tell you any of this, I need you to know that it can never be repeated.”
“You can trust me. Hell, I’m your father in every way that counts, boy.” And by the look on his face, he’s offended that I even have to question his integrity.
“I know.” I swallow hard. “I know it. But I still have to say it because I’m not supposed to say what I’m about to. But, damn it, I need to talk to you. Five years ago, I was brought in on a case at work. One that involved your former son-in-law and the woman I’m in love with. A money laundering case.”
I can’t tell him everything, but I skim through the story.
“Eventually, I had to take myself off the case because it became a conflict of interest for me. How could I do that? How could I investigate people I love more than anything? I couldn’t, so I pulled back. But not before I knew just about everything there was to know. And, of course, because of the nature of my job, I couldn’t talk to Maggie about it. Not back then, not when Joey died, and not now.”
“You told me,” he points out.
“I’ve only barely scratched the surface. I can’t tell you anything else, and I’m sure you have questions, but I can’t answer them.”
“Okay, then.”
Two words, so easily given that it almost takes my breath away.
“Well, the morning we were supposed to go to Ireland, Maggie saw an email on my computer from my former boss, telling me that they need me for more on the Lemon case. It didn’t give any specific information, but she saw enough.”
“And she was angry,” Tom correctly guesses.
“Oh, yeah,” I agree. “And, honestly, I got mad, too. We’d just had this great conversation the night before, and she’d assured me that she understood about my job and that she wouldn’t be mad or pressure me to talk about it. And then she saw the damn email, and everything she promised went right out the window.”
“Of course, it did,” Tom says. “It was about her husband, not a stranger.”
“I get that.” I rub my hands over my face. I’m fucking exhausted. I haven’t slept in days. “She went to Ireland without me after I said we needed a break. We both said things that we’ll likely regret later. Hell, I regret it now. But at the root of it all, despite having the best of intentions and wanting to be supportive, I’m not convinced that Maggie will ever be able to truly accept my job and the secrets I have to keep from her.”
The other man sits back in the booth and studies me for a long moment. And then, to my utter surprise, he says, “Bollocks.”
“I know, I shouldn’t have talked to you about this. She’s your daughter, and I messed up. I’ll apologize to her and wish her the best?—”
“Is it a punch in the bloody face you’re looking for, then?”
I frown at him. “Uh, no.”
“Then shut up and listen. I haven’t heard you say anything that tells me that what’s happened can’t be fixed. Yes, you need to apologize, but from the sound of it, my daughter has an apology to make, as well. You don’t go through any relationship without some rough patches, and that’s the truth of it. Why, my Fiona is a saint and an angel, but there has been many a day that I wanted to wring her pretty little neck.”
“But you two get along so well. You never fight.”
He busts up into laughter. “Of course, we fight. We’ve had some big rows over the years, and there might have been a night or two that I slept on the couch. But that didn’t mean we politely went our separate ways. You might as well tear my beating heart out of my chest by simply suggesting it. You don’t throw away the love of your life over a misunderstanding.”
I sip my beer, considering him.
“You’ll fight. You’ll be angry and hurt and so frustrated you can hardly see straight. And then you’ll make up and love each other, and the bad times will pass you by—just like the good ones do.”
“It’s not that I’m throwing our relationship away,” I say slowly. “I can’t see my life without her. But I also can’t get the image of the look on her face out of my mind. That moment after she saw the email. That look of betrayal has haunted me for days, and I feel like my hands are tied because I can’t confide in her about what happens at the job, even if it pertains to her family. And that tells me that I’ll never have her trust. Not fully.”
“I think you’re doing a lot of assuming,” Tom replies. “If I were you, I’d get my arse on a plane to Ireland and have it out with her until you see eye to eye and can work past it. Staying here and pouting isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I’m not pouting.”
“Aren’t you?” He laughs, shakes his head, and raps his knuckles on the table. “Looks that way to me. My money’s on you, lad. It always has been.”
He walks behind the bar to help Keegan tend to customers, and I push my mostly full beer away, no longer interested in it.
I’ll check Maggie’s house on my way home, just to make sure that everything is as it should be, and then lose myself in work.
The way I always do.
Three days later, with Def Leppard pounding in my ears, I’m punching the hell out of a bag in Hunter’s gym. He’s always given the family full access to the facilities whenever we want to work out, and since I still can’t sleep well, I decided to come here and punch something that doesn’t bleed or punch back.
After twenty minutes, when I’m a sweaty mess, I turn to reach for a towel on my way to the treadmill, where I plan to run for a while.
But when I turn, someone’s behind me.
And in the almost dark, I almost swore it was Maggie.
“Good morning,” Maeve says.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you,” I say after pulling one earbud out of my ear and letting it fall over my shoulder. “Did I wake you when I shut my car door?”
“No, I was awake,” she says and pats her belly. I swear, it's grown in the week since I last saw her. “This little one seems to like being active mostly at night. It’s the weirdest feeling, having a little thing tumbling around inside of you, kicking your ribs and kidneys.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Not yet. I’ve been told that in another month or so it will, so I’m not really complaining. I just miss a good night’s sleep.”
“I understand that.”
She’s quiet as I unravel the tape from my hands and then finally look over at her. “What’s on your mind?”
“Who says anything is on my mind?” she counters. “Maybe I just wanted to come out here and watch you work out.”
“You’ve never been a good liar.” I toss the used tape into the trash and wipe the sweat off my face with the towel. “Go ahead, yell at me.”
“I don’t want to yell at you. Don’t get me wrong, I did want to a few days ago. But now, I just want to hug you.”
And so she does. Just wraps her arms around me and presses that round belly against me, holding me close.
It feels nice.
“My sister is a pain in the ass a lot,” she says as she pulls away. “She has a quick temper, and she doesn’t always listen when you need her to. But I know she loves you, even if she hasn’t said the words. Have you thought about going to Ireland?”
“No.” My voice is gruff, even to my ears. “I thought I’d wait until she gets home to try to talk to her.”
“Why? You’re miserable.”
“I told her we needed a break, and I’m giving her one.”
“To what end? So you can both spend the next week absolutely miserable?”
“She’s miserable?” I ask, my head coming up fast. “Have you spoken with her?”
“Not really. She doesn’t want to talk about it, and I know she’s been busy at the inn. But a sister knows these things. She’s been gone for almost a week, and you’ve both had time to calm down and work your way to the lonely and regretful part of things. If you miss her, if you want to see her, don’t be a stubborn ass. Just go get her already.”
I frown down at my hands.
I already considered that late last night as I lay in my cold bed, pining for Maggie.
It’s ridiculous. I’m a grown man. What am I waiting for?
“Thanks, Maeve.” I kiss her cheek and then head for the door. “I have some arrangements to make.”
“Good. What is it with you two always dragging your feet? Just love each other already.”
I laugh for the first time in days as I hurry out to my car. I have to book the next flight and get ready to go.
I open my phone and bring up Maggie’s number and start to type a message.
But what am I going to say? Hey, I’m coming to see you. I miss you. Don’t reject me.
Nope, not gonna do that.
So, instead, I erase the text and get started making arrangements to get off this island and to the one the love of my life is currently standing on.
I’m sick of fighting myself and being without her. It’s time to be honest and tell Maggie what I want, what I need, and get the same from her.
The truth.
And, even if I have to break my contract, I’ll tell her what she needs to know to get her back. She’s the most important thing in my life. I’ve been absolutely lost without her since the minute she walked out of my house. I wanted to run after her then, but I was too hurt. Too stubborn. That stops now.
I’ll be damned if Joey Lemon—or anyone else—will keep me from her.