32. Mr Platonic Peck
THIRTY-TWO
Mr Platonic Peck
Sunday, 1 December, 11.30pm
Eleven months down. Only one more to go. No dates on the horizon and no prospect of being coupled up by the end of the year. In November:
Was called a marriage wrecker.
Invited to be the chicken in a club sandwich.
Actually wrecked a marriage.
Consoled a date about his dead wife.
Finished Project Toilet. Hurrah! Thank God for the beacon of light and hope that was Project Toilet. I will miss it.
Shall I give it one more push and go for a few dates in December, or do myself a favour and give up? I don’t know if I have the energy or the inclination to carry on with the dating challenge, especially now I’m distracted by thoughts of Ace. But then I can’t be sure if he has any feelings for me, so I probably shouldn’t be too hopeful on that front.
I thought I was doing all the right things: using apps, being open to people, grasping every opportunity, and yet eleven months later, here I am recovering from a broken heart and not having had much sex to write about. I can’t decide what to do next.
11.45pm
Come to think of it, Leila and Ace were awfully cosy when I walked in yesterday and they didn’t reply when I asked what they were talking about. Oh no, no, no, no! Are they getting together? She said she had a date with her lawyer, though, but maybe that was to throw me off the scent. Or Ace could be seeing Jacqueline AND Leila. And Leila is seeing Ace AND her lawyer. They’re both cheating on their lovers. Everyone is seeing everyone except me.
Monday, 2 December, 11.30pm
Leila and Ace together? No way. Or yes way?
Texted Leila.
Just wondering, are you seeing Ace?
When?
Any time
What are you talking about?
Are you ‘seeing’ Ace?
You’ve really lost it.
You were so cosy the other day
Honey we were talking about you.
What about me?
You know, dating etc.
Nothing specific?
I need my beauty sleep. X
Phew. Maybe Ace told Leila he’s in love with me. I like that idea much better. In fact, I love that idea. I want to ask Leila, but I know if I do, she’ll start teasing me and I’ll feel awkward when we’re with Ace. I need to work out a way of finding out how he feels.
Tuesday, 3 December, 11.30pm
Had a message from a guy on London Soulmates being complimentary and wanting to talk. He’s divorced with a seven-year-old daughter. I’ll go on one last date.
Wednesday, 4 December, 11.30pm
Had my hair and nails done, ready for the Christmas festivities. Got talking to the manicurist about being fed up with the dating challenge. She told me she had a dream a few years back that she was running on the treadmill at the gym except there was a rainbow at the end of it, and she reached it just before she woke up. The next day, she met her husband on the treadmill next to her at the gym. Wow, some people have all the luck. I told her about the dream I’d had about me and Ace sleuthing.
‘That’s a pretty obvious dream,’ she said.
Was it? I had no idea what it meant. How intriguing. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re looking for a reason to be with him. That’s the sleuthing on behalf of your friend. You’re wearing matching outfits because you want both of you to feel the same way, and you help your friend get rid of her cheating husband, which means you two are together for a good reason and outcome. See?’
OMG. Was that right? Was my subconscious telling me to go for it? Was I dreaming of a new life with Ace? I always thought it was cheesy, but I could see me and Ace going for walks wearing cute, coordinated clothes. I can picture us holding hands as we watch TV like that couple on Gogglebox. And the image of me using the second basin is so clear in my head. This woman was wasted as a manicurist.
‘But then it could be,’ she continued, ‘that you’re fed up with your life and you want a career change. You’re hoping your friend will help you get a new job with a lovely uniform and that’ll make you happy.’
That interpretation was unlikely.
‘Or…’
What was she going to dream up now?
‘Did you have beef that night by any chance? It could be that. I get terrible indigestion after beef,’ she continued with her useless dream translations.
‘Or…’
I zoned out. It was lovely to dream of a future with Ace, but it wasn’t a dream that was likely to come true.
Thursday, 5 December, 11.30pm
Went to the Xmas party at Material Build where I met THO in the summer, but luckily, he wasn’t there. We were given goody bags containing their New Year desk diary (yippee), a tea towel (double yippee), a small spirit level (dull but useful), and a tiny chocolate Father Christmas (eaten in taxi home).
Friday, 6 December, 11.30pm
Ace surprised me with tickets to the Kenwood Christmas Light Trail, where we had a magical, enchanted, fairy tale evening. We wrapped up warm and walked arm in arm down the sparkling paths and displays of cute lighted rabbits, owls and deer. When we reached the enormous Christmas tree, I closed my eyes and suggested making a wish. On opening them, I found him watching me with affection, and I wished it was the look of love instead. I blushed and hoped he thought it was redness from the cold.
‘I asked for happiness. What about you?’ I said.
‘Something similar.’ I didn’t dare ask if it involved me.
Then we heard Christmas music, so I took his hand, and we had a little slow dance. I longed to be kissed but when the song finished, he stepped back casually, and the moment was over. I just couldn’t read the signals. Later, under the mistletoe, he gave me a peck on the cheek.
‘For luck,’ he said and winked. I didn’t want just a lucky peck. Not while my body was all atingle.
At the end of the trail, I zoned out while we warmed up with hot chocolate topped with whipped cream, lost in erotic fantasies of the combination of whipped cream and Ace.
I went home dizzy with questions. Was tonight a friend date or something more? Ace’s touches and affection seemed so romantic surrounded with twinkling lights, but there was no flirting or playful touching. My optimistic heart says he’s falling for me, but my head says I’m imagining romance where there’s only platonic love. For now, I’ll cherish our sparkling evening, but I’m longing to know if it meant as much to him as it did to me.
P.S. The lovely Kenneth and Valentina have asked me to go back and work on upgrading the rest of the house. Yay! That should revive the bank balance next year. I’m sure I’ll get a feature with that project in one of the glossy magazines. Double yay! Maybe one day, Elle Decoration will do an ‘At home with leading interior designer Sophia and her musician partner Ace’.