CHAPTER 27
I slept late, although I didn’t sleep well.
The familiar nightmare of my brutal assault tormented me all night. I was grateful that M’Pak and I could tune out each other’s dreams.
The door alarm chimed to let me know that Camavel was outside. I instructed the comms panel that I was not receiving visitors and pulled the blanket over my head. M’Pak had left much earlier to chase the ovinas outside. He was always an earlybird.
I stayed in bed until the early afternoon.
I knew I was spiraling and needed help. The last few months of adjusting to life in the village had been such a whirlwind.
Everything was so new, and I had so much to learn - how to operate the kitchen appliances, taking care of M’Pak, navigating the city and village, history and protocol lessons - that I barely had time to breathe.
I had welcomed the distraction and repressed the trauma.
Intellectually, I knew that. I just wasn’t sure what to do about it.
If I were on Earth, I’d find a therapist and start working through it, but from what I could tell, the Ptexari didn’t have therapists.
I went to the comms panel to ask if there were any mental health professionals nearby.
It gave me a list of medics, unsurprisingly.
I imagined talking to Karelch and blanched.
He was still miffed that I hadn’t taken M’Pak back to the wilds.
I couldn’t reveal that M’Pak knew what he wanted and refused to go, so I avoided the well-meaning veterinarian as much as possible.
I thought of Lanicar at the palace. He had been very kind to me and knew about the assault, but I didn’t know that I felt comfortable talking about this with a male.
I had good friends, but I couldn’t talk to Kashtinela about her brother, and Camavel wasn’t the touchy-feely type.
She would likely just tell me to get over it and move on. I wish I could.
Still, Lanicar might at least know of a therapist I could talk to, so I reached out to him on my comms panel. His face appeared within seconds of my call.
“Andie of Earth! Greetings, honored caller. How may I be of assistance?” he inquired.
I chuckled a bit. The Ptexari never asked ‘pointless’ questions, like “how are you?” They were unfailingly direct. I thought about what to tell him.
“Greetings, Lanicar, and blessings upon your house. I am having nightmares, and I believe I need mental health support. Do you know any therapists?” I asked.
Lanicar’s crest raised in alarm. “Have you harmed yourself?” he asked.
I traced the scar on my forearm. It had faded to a barely visible white line, but it was slightly raised, and I found myself subconsciously touching it from time to time.
“No, there is no danger of that,” I assured him.
“But I still suffer nightmares and occasional flashbacks to the, uh, incident, and I’d like to talk to a therapist if such a person exists here. ”
Lanicar paused. “This is not an area Ptexari medics are trained in. We do not seem to suffer from the same maladies of the mind as … other species,” he said diplomatically.
Thanks for telling me you think I’m crazy, I thought.
He pondered for a moment, then continued, “We should ask the Bindu. They are a species known for their powers of the mind, and they are on a planet close by. We often have Bindu visitors on Ptekennan, and they have a small consulate in the Capital. I will inquire.”
“Thank you, Lanicar.”
“You are welcome. Blessings to you.” He cut the call.
I felt better after the call. Even though I was still feeling unsettled over the events of yesterday, I was finally taking active steps to work through my trauma.
I was proud of myself. I resolved to shower and spend some time in the garden.
I would take a day for myself, but reach out to Camavel tomorrow.