12. Ford
12
Ford
D espite my best efforts to distract myself, all I can do is think about Blair. Unfortunately, every conversation and interaction replays in my mind like a broken record. I enjoy my job, but I don’t usually eagerly anticipate going into work each day. However, these past few days have been an exception—I’ve found myself genuinely excited. At least when I’m teaching, I have something else to focus my brain power on. I swear, if my brain goes back to that dressing room one more time…
The chemistry in that small space was undeniable, and I know she felt it too. She wanted me to touch her, just as badly as my hands wanted to sink lower and discover the way her soft skin felt beneath my fingertips, but given our long history, it’s not exactly the easiest topic to broach. I was so tempted to bring it up during our bachelorette meeting at the coffee shop, but we both knew that moment needed to be about Ronnie. Then, the second Jenny walked in, any chance of us talking about anything serious went completely out the window.
There’s no way I can do it now, either, since once again, the theme of this afternoon is Ronnie. When the two of them had asked me to come lend a hand with Ronnie’s bridal photoshoot, there’s no way I could’ve said no.
Jenny used to claim that it was because I was spineless and wasn’t capable of saying no to either of my best friends, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even beyond my feelings for Blair, and my desperate need to be with her every second she’s in town, I genuinely enjoy being around them.
There’s a reason our friendship has stood the test of time, or at least it has with Ronnie. They are two people who just get me, and I get them. It’s that simple.
Sure, I’m doing a bit of the grunt work since I was asked to pick up the flowers from the florist, and now I’m the one carrying the props, holding the light reflector, and managing any other extra equipment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
This may be Blair’s big gift to Ronnie as her personal wedding present, but it’s also fun to watch, especially since they’re both killing it.
As Ronnie gracefully poses in her gown, adorned with perfectly styled hair and flawless makeup, it’s even more exciting to witness Blair so blissfully in charge and thriving in what is so obviously her element.
We’d all known that Blair possessed a talent for capturing the perfect picture and uncovering beauty in even the most ordinary objects, but it’s clear why she’s now a highly sought-after photographer. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and isn’t afraid to get a little dirty in order to get the perfect shot, especially as she lays down on her stomach in the dirt and grass to get the perfect angle.
Ronnie wanted a nature-inspired look, so we opted to go a little outside of town. Luckily, we’d stumbled upon the perfect spot with tall, towering trees, wildflowers, and the striking backdrop of the Rocky Mountains.
“Alright, I need to see that one,” Ronnie requests, lifting her gown as she makes her way over to Blair, who brushes herself off after standing.
“Just remember, I haven’t done any editing yet,” she warns before holding out the camera with the small screen for our friend to look at.
“Oh my God! It’s amazing,” she squeals excitedly, dancing from side to side.
“Of course it is. You’re literally the most beautiful model I could’ve ever asked for,” Blair scoffs as I take a step forward to look as well.
Blair isn’t wrong. Ronnie looks stunning, but it’s more than that. The shot is truly magical. In the photo, Ronnie’s face is beautifully framed and illuminated by the sunlight as it shines through the trees. A one-of-a-kind shot, and I’m positive it’s something only Blair could capture.
“It’s stunning,” I agree. “You’re both absolutely crushing it,” I assure them, giving Blair a meaningful glance so she knows just how much I mean it and that it’s not just lip service.
“The only problem now is that my actual wedding photos are going to look so amateurish in comparison,” Ronnie whines, her lips forming a small pout.
“Hey now, I offered to shoot your wedding, too, but you shot that down real quick,” Blair reminds her.
“Only because I need you by my side more than I need perfect pictures. In fact, the pictures wouldn’t be perfect unless you’re standing right next to me in each and every one,” she counters, as Blair rolls her eyes.
“I second this,” I chime in. “Because Ronnie had also mentioned that if you weren’t her maid of honor, I’d have to fill in and be the man of honor, and that’s way too much pressure for a guy like me.”
“Oh, whatever, you would have done just fine,” Blair dismisses as she looks back down at her camera.
“He is the most put-together one out of all of us, even after all these years,” Ronnie agrees with a small shrug. “I think you’d do a much better job than you give yourself credit for.”
“I may keep you all on task, but you’ve both always been the ones with the best ideas, especially when it comes to weddings. I’m hopeless. Believe me, just ask Jenny.”
There had been plenty of times during our own wedding planning that Jenny had asked for my advice or opinions on everything from dresses to flowers to seating plans, and never once had I been able to provide any useful feedback, or so she claimed.
“Psh, Jenny is divorcing the greatest man I know. Her opinions are less than valid here,” Ronnie huffs.
“Well, you two were never her biggest fans in the first place, so I don’t know if your opinions count here, either.”
“And obviously for good reason,” Blair mutters under her breath, but seemingly not quiet enough, since it’s clear by the look on Ronnie’s face that we both overheard it.
“And on that note…” Ronnie says, playfully wincing as she takes a few steps back, once again lifting her dress to keep it from dragging on the dirty ground. “I’m going to go back to the car and touch up my makeup before we take the next couple of shots.”
Nodding our heads, Blair and I stand in awkward silence, the tension thickening as we watch her retreat toward the car.
“Sorry about that,” Blair finally says, but instead of looking at me, she keeps herself busy by studying and flipping through the pictures she’s already taken on her camera.
“No, it’s fine. I get it. You have every reason to dislike Jenny. If it wasn’t already made clear the other day at the coffee shop, she isn’t exactly your biggest fan either. If anything, I never should have kept trying to force the two of you to have some sort of friendship.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, for your sake, I really did try, but clearly I’ve never been all that good at keeping my feelings to myself.”
I let out a small chuckle. “Well, there were often times that you had me questioning myself, wondering if our feelings were mutual growing up, but when it came to how you felt about my girlfriend, yeah, that was always pretty obvious.”
“Hey.” She frowns, though the corners of her lips are quirking up into a grin as she reaches out and gives me a light shove. “You could’ve at least lied to make me feel better.”
“I could, but lying about my own thoughts and feelings is likely what got us into some of this mess,” I joke, even if there is some truth to it.
We both would’ve been saved from a lot of heartbreak if either of us had been brave enough to confess our feelings before it was too fucking late.
“In your defense, the two of us not sharing our feelings was probably for the best.” She shrugs as my eyebrows furrow. “Maybe that’s the whole reason we were ever able to be friends for as long as we were. For all we know, we might never have worked and ruined everything either way, but destroyed it all even earlier.”
“Or maybe we would’ve been the ones getting married and you wouldn’t have ever left Evergreen Grove and I wouldn’t be on my way to getting divorced,” I say, deciding I’m no longer in the mood to hold back. Clearly, that never benefited us before, so what’s the point in continuing this ridiculous charade?
She frowns, tilting her head to the side as she seems to contemplate my words. “Unfortunately, I did leave, and you did get married to someone else, and that’s just the way it is. For my sanity, I can’t live in a world of what-ifs. I have to believe that it was all for the best and that this is how it was always meant to be. Plus, what would I even be doing if I stayed here? Teaching Photography at the local high school like you and Ronnie?”
My brow knits together, not sure if I should feel insulted or not. “What’s wrong with teaching at the high school?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she sighs, reaching out to place a hand on my arm. Suddenly, it’s like I’m back in high school, hyper-aware of the intense heat that nothing more than a simple touch from her hand brings. “I just feel like I need more than that. Repeating the same lesson again and again would’ve caused me to lose my mind, even more than I already had before leaving. I also don’t feel like it ever would’ve given me the opportunity to really explore my creative freedom.”
“No, I get it. Your talent has always surpassed what this town could provide, but we could’ve figured something out. It isn’t like you’d have much competition. Didn’t Ronnie say that she had to reach out to someone from a few towns over just to find someone with enough talent to cover her wedding?” I point out. Evergreen Grove isn’t devoid of people who can take decent photographs, but there isn’t anyone that could truly offer anything close to what Blair is capable of.
“I still think she should’ve just let me do it,” she huffs, wrinkling her nose.
“No way. Like she said; we need you in the pictures too.”
“I don’t know why. I’m not worth looking at. Believe me, there’s a reason I prefer to be behind the camera rather than in front of it.”
I loudly scoff. “Stop it. You’re gorgeous, and you’re most definitely someone that people want to look at. I think you’re forgetting that I saw you the other day in that dress and know how good you looked in it,” I say, doing my best not to think about how close I came to almost seeing her without it too. “While Ronnie is going to be the main attraction and look amazing while doing it, it’s going to be hard not to look your way as well, and I’m sure others are going to feel the same.”
There’s a chance I’m biased since I’ve always found it hard not to look Blair’s way. From the first day of school, when I’d just moved in and saw her across the classroom, I’d felt something and knew that she was different—someone that I needed to get to know. At just eleven years old, I’d been smitten, and from that day on, I’ve found myself completely mesmerized and enthralled by her.
Looking at the ground, she shakes her head. “You’re ridiculous.” She blushes as I reach into my back pocket and slip out my cell phone. After quickly unlocking the screen, I point the camera toward her, and snap a picture.
Hearing the small click, Blair looks up, eyes wide with shock. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m showing you just how beautiful you look on camera.”
“And you really think that’s going to work?” she asks, popping out her hip as she places her free hand on top of it.
With that, I take another picture as her mouth drops open, causing me to snap another, capturing the moment perfectly. Despite the annoyed look on her face, a laugh escapes her lips as she takes a few steps closer while lifting her hand to block the view of the camera. I take a few steps back myself and continue to snap picture after picture while carefully dodging all her attempts to reach for my phone.
“Stop,” she begs, but it’s accompanied by another beautiful giggle as I take yet another shot before she finally manages to yank the phone from my hand. “You know I’m deleting these immediately, right?”
“You better not,” I warn, moving to stand next to her as she pulls up the pictures. As predicted, she looks perfect, even if she doesn’t look all that convinced.
“And why not? I mean, look at this one; it’s blurry,” she protests, stopping at one of the pictures where her hand is held out in front of her. Sure, she has a point, but there’s something uniquely beautiful about it as well, especially since you can see just how in the moment she is. If anything, it’s nice to see a genuine smile on her face again, especially after going so long without having it to brighten up my life and my world.
“Hey, I never claimed to be the professional photographer here, but that’s not the point. The point is, you look great in every single one, even the ones that are blurry or out of focus.”
“Fine, keep them if you want.” She shrugs, shoving the phone back into my hands. “It’s your phone storage that’s going to suffer.”
“That’s what the cloud is for,” I answer with a smug smile.
“What’s the cloud for?” Ronnie asks, appearing behind us.
“Nothing important,” Blair answers first. “Plus, we need to hurry. We don’t want to miss this light. It’s almost golden hour, and I’m not about to miss it due to Ford’s ridiculous shenanigans.”
Ronnie looks at me with a questioning brow, but I lift one shoulder in a shrug. “Go on, we can’t have you missing this golden hour,” I say, dismissing them with a wave of my hand.
Ronnie bites down on her lip, making it clear she wants to press the issue. She’s always been the noisiest one out of the group, but she ultimately decides not to miss out on the perfect moment and picture as she lifts her dress once more and scurries after Blair toward the tree line.
I’m unsure if I truly convinced Blair, but as she glances back over her shoulder one last time, smiling and shaking her head in a way that sends warmth throughout my body, it no longer matters. As usual, it’s always a win in my book when I get to see her smile like that, especially when it’s a smile that’s exclusively meant for me.