27. Blair
27
Blair
M iles has always enjoyed playing the nosy and concerned big brother, but it’s a relief that, despite arriving at his apartment much earlier than expected, if at all, he chose not to ask any questions. There was probably no need for it, since I’m sure the answer was written all over my face. I’m just glad that I somehow managed to hold in the tears that have been threatening to fall ever since our run-in with Mary White.
Ford and I gave it a shot, and clearly we weren’t meant to last. I don’t even know how I let myself believe that the two of us could ever work in real life. Sure, dreaming about what could happen between us has always been fun, but that’s all it ever was—an unrealistic fantasy.
I’m pretty sure I let Ronnie get a little too much in my head, and I should’ve known better. I’m not like her. I’m not the Disney princess who ends up with Prince Charming. I may have the tragic backstory, but that’s about all I have going for me, and Ford deserves so much better than that.
I truly don’t know what I was thinking by even agreeing to go on a date with him. I’ve always known I was never meant to fit in here, and since this is the place where Ford fits in best, how I thought we could work is beyond me. The last thing I’d ever want to do is bring his reputation down with mine.
Walking into the guest room, I shut the door behind me and head straight for my skincare supplies, more than ready to cleanse my face and erase any and all traces of tonight’s date. I let myself listen to Ronnie as she hyped me up, and I went all out with my hair and makeup. She’d been so sure that this was mine and Ford’s moment, and I unfortunately let myself believe that it actually could be. What a fucking joke!
As I wipe off my makeup and hastily throw my once perfectly curled hair into a messy bun, I resign myself to the fact that I won’t be going out tonight. Honestly, if it were up to me, I’d never go out or be seen in Evergreen Grove again, but given that we’re only a few days away from Ronnie’s wedding, that unfortunately won’t be happening.
Wanting to maximize comfort for a likely long and sleepless night ahead, I change into a pair of biker shorts and an oversized band tee. Hopping into bed, I burrow myself into the blankets. There’s nothing I want more than to sleep and escape from this unfortunate reality, even if just for a few hours. Then again, if I could sleep until Saturday and Ronnie’s wedding day, that’d be the most ideal. Then I’d only have to see Ford for a few more torturous hours, and then after that, I’ll be free of him forever.
The idea of never seeing Ford again is beyond painful, especially after the last few days. Getting a small taste of what a future for the two of us could look like was not only healing, but also so much more than I could’ve ever imagined. However, it’s become obvious that the only way to truly get over him and my feelings is to make a clean break. While I may come back to Evergreen Grove occasionally to visit Miles and Ronnie, there’s no longer a need to include Ford in those plans.
Unfortunately, sleep remains elusive as I lie in the dark, my mind consumed by a constant looping replay of every single moment from tonight’s date. No matter how much it hurts, I do my best to only focus on the more painful events, but my heart and head have other plans as they unfortunately linger on the good ones, too. Why did Ford have to be so perfect and why does it all have to hurt so damn bad?
My phone pings on my bedside table, jolting me out of my thoughts. Despite knowing I should ignore it, the fact that I’m nowhere near close to sleep has me reaching over.
Ford: I know you’re upset and you’re hurting, but can we please talk?
Reading his message, I sit up straight. I’m even more convinced that I should ignore it, especially with the way my heart immediately reaches for the possibility of him knowing just what to say to make all of this better. Other than Ronnie, he’s always been the person who knows how to soothe my thoughts whenever I go into one of my downward spirals, but this is different. I deserve to feel like this; it’s the only thing that will keep me from going back on my already-made decision to leave him and Evergreen Grove behind for good.
Biting on my thumbnail, I inwardly debate with myself. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it as I finally type in a response. Before I can second guess myself again, I hit send.
Blair: I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Maybe it would just be easier if we only saw each other when we have to. Wedding events only and that’s it.
Three bubbles pop up, and his reply comes through almost immediately, leaving me little to no time to panic.
Ford: Please, Blair.
Ford: I know how you think, and I know you think tonight was a sign, but that’s not true.
Ford: I can fix things. I’m actually outside of your brother’s place. Will you please come outside?
My eyes go wide as I glance toward the window, which is ridiculous since it’s not like I can see him from my spot in bed, given that we’re located on the second story.
A part of me is so desperate to be done with this that I almost entertain the thought of not responding and leaving him on read, but deep down I know what I have to do. We should talk, especially since maybe I can explain to him why this needs to be done and over with for good.
Blair : Fine. I’ll be out in a minute
I fling myself out from under the covers, flipping on the light as I give myself a quick glance in the mirror. I look like I’ve been rolling around in bed, but that’s fine. For once, I’m not looking to impress him. Plus, it’s not like he hasn’t already seen me at my worst. Hell, we both saw each other during those weird awkward phases as we grew up.
Adjusting the oversized shirt that constantly slips off my shoulder, I make my way out of my room. I once again find myself blessed by the big brother gods, as Miles is thankfully, nowhere in sight. However, as I open the front door, that feeling quickly vanishes when I come face to face with a pacing Ford.
My heart betrays me as I’m hit with an overwhelming feeling of desire and crushing sadness as I look him over. While he normally looks clean and put together, his brown hair is completely disheveled, as if he’s been frantically running his fingers through it.
“Blair,” he starts, coming toward me as I hold up a hand to stop him.
“We’ll talk, but first, let’s go somewhere else.”
My nosey-ass brother may not have been in the living room, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t lurking nearby. I’m not counting on this turning into a loud or heated exchange, especially considering Ford and I have never had that sort of relationship. Nevertheless, I’d rather err on the side of caution right about now, especially since my nerves are already on edge.
I’m also not looking to taint my brother’s place with any sad, lingering memories, especially since I know this is the moment when I’ll finally have to end things once and for all.
“Oh, okay. Where did you want to go?” he asks, adjusting his glasses.
“Let’s go for a drive.”
The drive was quiet as we made our way past the Evergreen Grove town limits. Despite his obvious desire to talk, I purposely kept my gaze focused out the window, taking in the sights as he drove.
Unfortunately, I knew I was only biding my time for so long as Ford finally pulls onto the side of the road, picking a destination fairly close to the area where we went for Ronnie’s photoshoot. Part of me wants to complain and tell him to pick someplace else, since the last thing I want is for sad memories to pop up when I look at my friend’s bridal shoot pictures, but since this area is deserted and will give us some much-needed privacy, I figure this battle isn’t one I want to fight.
Letting out a loud breath, Ford unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to face me. “I ended things. Jenny and I are over.”
My forehead creases as I try to truly take in what he just said. “What?” I ask, my voice edged with panic. “You guys weren’t already separated?” Well, now, it definitely makes sense why Mrs. White was so damn pissed when she saw me and Ford. Hell, now I’m Team Jenny here, too.
“No, I mean yes. Yes, we’re separated, but after I dropped you off, I went to Jenny’s place and told her we need to make things official. On Monday, we’re meeting with our lawyers and ending things once and for all. We’re officially getting divorced.”
A fleeting sense of relief washes over me, but it dissipates almost instantly. “Was she upset?” Contrary to what others may believe, I never wanted to hurt Jenny in any of this. She may never have been my favorite person, but that doesn’t mean I wanted her to get caught in the crossfire, especially since I know all too well what it feels like to be someone’s second choice.
“Only because this is truly the end, but she gets it. She wasn’t happy with me either,” he says, tentatively reaching for my hand, which I let him take—for now.
“Ford,” I say, looking down at our entwined fingers. “I don’t think we should do this.”
“Why not? You can’t tell me that what we have between us isn’t real. We were made for each other. You’re my person. I know it, and I know you know it, too.” I feel a tender touch beneath my chin, guiding my gaze upward to meet his. “Tell me that what we have isn’t real,” he challenges.
I stare, our eyes locked in an intense battle. I know what I should say, and I’m so tempted to lie, but it’s impossible. “I can’t.”
“Then be with me,” he begs.
“But it’s not that easy.”
“Blair, being with you is the easiest thing in the world. Who cares what anyone says or thinks? Because I sure as hell don’t. The only thing that matters to me is you and your happiness, and I know that I can make you happy. Please, let me be the one who makes you happy. Let me be your person, because I sure as hell want you to be mine,” he further pleads as he drops the hand from my chin before lifting the one with my hand as he presses a soft kiss to my knuckles.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve always been yours,” I confess, giving in as my fingers quickly unbuckle my belt and my hand finds its way to the back of his neck, urging him closer as our lips collide.
Maybe I’m weak, or maybe I’m tired of fighting what I’ve always known to be true. He’s right—he’s always been mine, and I know without a doubt that my heart has always been his. It belonged to Ford Hastings well before I was ready to admit that out loud or even to myself.
He slowly releases my hand, his touch shifting to the side of my neck, his thumb brushing soft circles against my cheek. The sweet and careful kisses soon ignite into a fiery passion as I eagerly open my mouth to him. I long to be near him again, my body buzzing with anticipation, almost like a shaken soda bottle on the verge of exploding.
As if our minds and bodies are in sync, our reluctant lips pull away from each other. As I forcibly push myself out of my seat and clamber over the center console, he quickly reaches down and pushes the seat back as far as it will allow. This would definitely be much easier if he were like many of the other guys in Evergreen Grove, boasting of their manliness with a truck. However, at this moment, I couldn’t care less.
All that matters is being close to him, and as I climb into his lap, it works, bringing us even closer, especially as I feel him straining against his zipper through my thin pair of biker shorts.
“Say it again,” Ford commands as his lips press into mine once more before they make a desperate trail of kisses up toward my ear.
“Say what again?” I somehow manage, my eyes closing as I relish the sensation of his kisses, the gentle pressure and tingling sensation making my skin come alive.
“That you’re mine,” he whispers against the shell of my ear before nibbling on my lobe.
“I’m yours,” I whisper freely, a soft moan leaving my lips as I softly, but urgently, buck my hips into his, needing to feel the pressure against my already wet and aching core.
Before I can say anything else, his lips capture mine once more, as our tongues meet and tangle together. The intensity and desperation of my longing for him is evident in the way my body twists against his, my fingers seeking solace as they sink into his disheveled brown locks.
With one hand possessively clutching my ass, the other hand languidly explores my body, gliding achingly slow beneath my shirt as his fingers make a trail across my stomach to my ribs, finally halting as his fingertips hover just below the sensitive skin of my bare breast. Craving his touch to go just a little higher, I grind my hips into his once more, feeling his groan vibrate against my lips as he realizes my braless state.
We seem to once again be on the same page as he reaches down below us and unbuckles his jeans before working on unzipping his zipper. The space may be tight, and I’m sure I’m not the most graceful, but I do my best to lift myself up to make it easier. Even more, I too want to feel closer to him as I work on removing my shorts, and he realizes that I’m once again, not wearing any panties.
“Fuck, Blair,” he breathes out, his voice strained as I lower my body and press against him, the sensation heightened given that we only have his thin pair of boxer briefs between us. “You’re so fucking perfect,” he adds, and I have to say, I love this side of him. During the day, he’s the most polite man you’ll ever meet, and it’s rare to hear him utter a single curse word, but when we’re like this, a new side of him peeks through.
Wanting to impress him even more, I lift my shirt over my head, leaving myself completely bare to him.
He eagerly scans my figure with hungry eyes, a wicked smile forming on his lips before he finally leans closer to capture my mouth once more. While one of his hands works its way toward my breast where he palms it before rolling my nipple between his fingers, he moves the other lower, between us as he moves toward my aching center. “You’re so fucking wet,” he whispers appreciatively against my lips.
“All for you,” I whisper back before his finger finds and rubs against my clit and a loud moan escapes from deep within.
As Ford skillfully uses his fingers, the pressure builds, propelling me closer to the edge with each passing moment. With a firm grasp on his curls, I press my teeth into his bottom lip, eliciting a chorus of rapid breaths, pants, and moans.
His hands don’t stop, and while I’m sure it’s not the most comfortable position in the world, he continues on as his fingers move lower and he easily slips a finger inside me, before adding another, expertly finding my G-spot as he curls his fingers just right.
“That’s it, my beautiful greedy girl. Take what you need,” he whispers against my mouth as I buck more forcefully into his fingers and his touch. Without any means of control, a powerful orgasm consumes me as I call out his name. Thankfully, he persists with his rhythmic movements, slowly guiding me back to reality as I come down from the very powerful high.
Leaning forward, a quiet, contented laugh escapes as I bury my forehead in his chest. Instead of speaking, Ford wordlessly communicates his feelings as he places a tender kiss on top of my forehead.
Once I manage to catch my breath, I raise my head, our gazes locked as we share a mutual smile. “Told you I could make you happy,” he teases as I let out a small, breathy laugh and shake my head.
“That’s fine, just as long as I get to make you happy, too.”
“You always make me happy,” he states seriously as he once again lifts his hand and gently runs the pad of his thumb along my lower lip, sending a jolt of electricity down my spine. The passion inside me only ignites even more, as I watch him lift the fingers he’d just used to bring me pleasure as he sucks all traces of my excitement for him clean.
Feeling an overwhelming need for him all over again, I lean in and press my thirsty lips against his, savoring the tender way they part over mine.
Instead of feeling hurried or rushed, our lips glide leisurely and deliberately. As I wrap my hands around the back of his neck, he softly cradles the back of mine, his fingers gently caressing my fallen blonde curls.
Breaking our kiss for a few brief seconds, I gently lift his shirt over his head, enjoying the warmth of his bare skin against my own. In sync once more, I lift my hips, as he reaches down to remove the final barrier between the two of us.
Ford nods toward the glove compartment. “I think I have a condom in there,” he says, a sheepish grin on his lips, but I don’t question it.
Not wasting time, I adjust in his lap and reach in, where thankfully, under some papers, I find a solo condom. “Got it.” I smile, ripping the wrapper with my teeth before doing the honor as I slide it down his lengthy and sturdy cock.
Looking up, our eyes connect, and I’m struck by the intensity of his gaze, a combination of longing and adoration that transcends mere physical attraction. This is more than just sex for us, which only makes me crave and long for him to be inside me even more.
Part of this scares me, but I don’t let it hold me back. Not only wanting to explore this feeling but also having the intense need to, I lift my hips as his hands on my hips slowly guide me down onto him.
A mutual gasping fills the air of the car before our bodies move in sync. His hands remain on my hips as I rest mine on his shoulders for support, his eyes never straying from mine. Our bodies move in perfect synchrony, and although I don’t want to look away, I can’t resist the overwhelming pleasure that causes my head to tilt back as my back arches against the steering wheel.
“Ford,” I gasp, my breath catching in my throat as I teeter on the edge once more, the anticipation mounting like the final, stomach-churning drop on a roller coaster. The rhythm of his thrusts accelerates as he pushes into me with greater speed and strength.
“You’re almost there, baby,” he encourages with a low growl.
Hearing him call me “baby” is what does me in as I unravel on top of him, my fingers and nails digging deep into his shoulders. As he thrusts into me, a symphony of pleasure fills the car—his loud groan merging with my own moans as we reach the pinnacle of ecstasy, leaving me shaking on top of him.
As we both come down from the incredible high that we’ve found together, I once again collapse onto his chest and his hand slides up my back, rubbing slow, lazy circles.
“God, Blair. I’m so glad you’re mine,” he says in a breathless whisper as he rests his head on top of mine, our chests rising and falling together as one as we both work on calming our racing hearts.
As much as I want to be his, and in so many ways already am, there’s still so much that we need to work out. Sure, we have amazing chemistry; the sex is mind-blowing, and he’s officially getting divorced, but how does a relationship between traveling photographer and a man living in her nightmare of a town actually work?
However, I push those thoughts aside—at least for now. “Me too,” I say instead, needing to savor this moment for as long as I can.