Date Thursday 30 March Time 9.30pm
My thoughts and reflections:
I’ve not been fired. It’s official. I got the email today saying that all colleagues affected by the merger rationalisations had now been notified and had met with HR, and that therefore anyone receiving this email should take this as confirmation that their existing contract with Carsons remained unaltered.
Drunk Stephen’s kept his job. Charlotte has too: she posted a picture of the sun coming through the clouds.
Cara and Yaz and Cool Jason and Gentle Jadan and Karim and Nervous Jane have all kept their jobs too.
Cara cried and we hugged her. I honestly don’t know how Cara doesn’t spend ninety per cent of her time crying.
I had a moment of abject panic though, when Guy flung open his office door and yelled across the entire floor, ‘Alice Carver! A word, please. In my office. Now!’
I could feel Yaz’s concerned gaze as I walked over to his office; all the blinds were down which was usually an ominous sign. But as soon as I was in there, Guy shut the door, pushed me up against it and gave me a hard kiss on the mouth.
‘I’m safe,’ said Guy. ‘Well, for now anyway.’
‘That is such good news!’
‘Yes. But I’ve had to agree to undertake management coaching. Plus sign some new piece of shit HR policy for managers in influential positions about disclosing any co-worker romantic or sexual relationships.’ He shook his head.
‘Right… But you’ve been clear this isn’t a relationship, so you don’t need to disclose anything!’
‘You really are a good girl, Alice,’ said Guy appreciatively. ‘But depending on what they already know, if we have to go official, this could really fuck up my divorce.’
I tried not to let my face betray the jolt that gave me. Go official? He was talking about potentially making our relationship official?
‘Still,’ continued Guy. ‘I’ve had a better deal than many of us.’
‘Us?’ I asked, only half paying attention.
‘A lot of the old boys are gone. Brutal cut at senior level. James. Wilson. Harry… ’
‘Harry Piles?’
‘Gone. Edward Puesdon. Archie Kavanagh. Gone.’
‘Gosh.’ Those were some big names. And big tossers. I was warned on my first day not to end up alone in a room with Edward Puesdon. How he’s lasted this long is the real surprise. And Harry Piles… couldn’t happen to a nicer person.
‘Archie Kavanagh went to Oriel, Cambridge,’ said Guy. ‘He thought he was safe when he heard Matthew was a fellow graduate. I’m guessing Matthew Lloyd isn’t a rugby player?’
‘More into football,’ I confirmed.
I ask the Universe:
To help me out with the Guy relationship thing. I’m aware I manifested my getting married to Guy and obviously before that can happen we need to go official so that’s super exciting, but I’m wondering if we can slow it down just slightly?
Also please help Astrid and Aziz to be happy again – please do something, or show me what I can do to help…