Date Friday 31 March Time 7.15pm
My thoughts and reflections:
I’m moving in with Yaz. Even though she’s like a prefect.
I saw her writing the advert, asked her, and she said, ‘Why would you move when you get to lord it up in Chiswick?’
‘My sister and her husband need space.’
‘So they’ve asked you to move out?’
‘No,’ I said.
‘Then… why?’
‘So long as I’m there, Astrid’s going to keep using me as a buffer to avoid having difficult conversations. And I don’t know, I don’t want to be responsible for her screwing up her life. She’s my sister.’
‘Look, Alice,’ said Yaz, scratching her nose and wriggling slightly. ‘I’m going to have to be honest with you.’
‘Okay. ’ I braced myself for what was about to come. No one ever tells you they’re going to have to be honest and then says something good.
‘It’s a really shit house,’ said Yaz. ‘And not in a cool way.’
‘Okay.’
‘So, if you’re thinking that my parents bought me a nice place and you’re going to get some good deal, you’d be wrong. They take me on nice holidays and out to dinner and stuff but they believe in making your own way.’
‘It had never crossed my mind,’ I lied.
‘I live in,’ she leant in closer so no one else could hear, ‘Sidcup.’
‘Isn’t that Kent?’ I asked.
‘Pretty much.’
Fuck. ‘How long does it take you to get into work?’
‘Over an hour each way.’
Once she’d shown me photos and told me the rent, the whole thing was even more unappealing. I mean, it’s shit. Totally shit. But I can afford it on my salary. Just.
Drunk Stephen told me I was mad.
‘You’re not going to be less posh just by living somewhere hideous, Alice,’ he said. ‘You’re just going to be less happy. Don’t do it.’
Astrid told me I was mad.
‘You won’t cope, Alice. And even with that amount of rent, you’ll struggle. You know you still have to spend money on bills, and food, and loo roll, right? I don’t think you realise what a good arrangement you’ve got here… ’
Guy told me I was mad.
‘Looks like a fucking halfway house,’ he said.
‘It does,’ I agreed.
‘Stay here more,’ he said. ‘I can probably get you a key card. Especially if we have to disclose to HR… ’
I’m moving in with Yaz on Sunday.
I am grateful for:
Yaz organising the rent agreement for me.
The time I spent living in Astrid’s beautiful house – it’s been a dream come true. I will always, always be grateful that my first manifestation came into fruition on New Year’s Day (even if I’ve paid in other ways).