CHAPTER 21
REESE
The next day, Reese and Lida curled into the uncomfortable seats in the airport.
Bags were messily piled around their feet at the gate and Reese sipped from her water bottle as Lida lazily flipped through the magazine in her lap.
Reese scrolled through social media while her head pounded.
She had felt herself teetering on the verge of a headache for more than a day now, but she had managed to keep her mind and body busy, distracting herself from the impending aches.
Now, with nothing to do but wait for the flight, her mind was free to rehash every single moment of the long Las Vegas weekend.
Reese couldn’t shake the guilt that had now permanently settled in the pit of her stomach.
She hadn’t heard from Kiran since the last time she was in the airport.
His half-assed text to Reese had been left unanswered.
And even now, with guilt eating away at her stomach like acid, she couldn’t bring herself to text him and let him know she was on the way home.
It wasn’t just the thought of Kiran that made Reese’s stomach turn.
She hadn’t heard from Jette since yesterday morning when she left Jette’s hotel room with tears in her eyes.
Now in the airport, her fingertips hovered over Jette’s name.
She desperately wished she could text like they had done a hundred times before, but Reese couldn’t do that.
She couldn’t forget the pain in her voice as Jette told her she couldn’t be there for her anymore.
Reese kicked herself for not saying anything back, for not fighting harder.
Hell, for not fighting at all. Reese listened to Jette say the most heart wrenching things and—nothing.
Instead she stood with her arms wrapped around Jette and let tears silently glide down her face.
She spent the past six months burying and denying her feelings, constantly keeping them at bay.
Naturally, she wasn’t brave enough to admit them when it really counted.
That part hit Reese in the chest harder than anything.
The fact that Jette was willing to be that daringly honest. She was the only one courageous enough to confess to the chemistry between them.
And when Reese was given the same chance, she folded like a house of cards.
Instead she silently let the situation unfold around her without actually engaging.
Leaving Jette’s confession hanging in the charged air of the hotel room.
“You good, babe?” Lida’s voice made Reese jump. Lida’s warm brown eyes looked at her with concern. Reese blinked and nodded before Lida said, “Are you sure? You’ve been staring into space for like ten minutes now.” The magazine in her lap fell closed as she shifted in her seat to face Reese.
“Yeah,” Reese muttered unconvincingly, “Just a headache.” She couldn’t bring herself to look back at Lida.
“Hmm,” Lida hummed. “You’ve been quiet lately,” she pressed gently.
Reese nodded and stared at the phone in her hands. She turned the screen off, letting Jette’s name fade into darkness. “Can I tell you something?” she finally said.
“Shoot,” Lida answered immediately, turning to give her full attention.
Reese sighed in anticipation. “It’s about Jette,” she admitted plainly. Lida’s mouth crooked into a lopsided smile.
“We’re finally gonna talk about this?” Lida asked. She wiggled in her seat to get comfortable.
“I think so.”
“Alright, shit, let’s go. I’m all ears,” she gestured to Reese with her hands.
“I—okay—well, we…” Reese racked her brain to find the right words.
“You kissed, I know that part,” Lida interjected with a knowing grin. “On Friday,” she clarified, waiting for Reese to continue.
Reese nervously fidgeted with her hands.
If there was ever a time to be honest about everything that had happened, it was now with Lida.
Technically, the best time to be honest would’ve been when Jette admitted to having feelings for her.
But she guessed now was the second best opportunity.
She took a breath and admitted, “It happened before then, actually.”
Lida’s eyes widened in surprise. “Before Friday?” she asked.
“Oh my god, I hate being in the dark. Details, please, now,” she commanded playfully, reaching for Reese’s hand.
Reese giggled nervously and began retelling the story.
She told Lida about the tattoo and was brutally honest about the kiss that had happened shortly after.
Her cheeks flushed from the memory and Lida noticed, but thankfully didn’t tease her about it.
After she finished, Lida looked at her expectantly.
“Okay, you kissed her and then? What happened?”
“After the kiss? Nothing. I didn’t hear from her until we got to Vegas,” Reese answered.
“You didn’t text her or anything?” Lida asked skeptically.
Reese shook her head. “She didn’t text me either.” She winced at how defensive her voice came across.
Lida huffed, “I mean, yeah, okay. But you kissed her, right?” Reese nodded.
“So you hang out and flirt for months, then you kiss her unexpectedly and immediately ghost her?” The way her words mirrored Jette’s made Reese’s stomach turn.
It sounded terrible when Jette said it out loud.
And it didn’t sound any better coming from Lida, either.
“I didn’t—” Reese began but Lida cut her off with a wave.
“Whatever. So you kissed her a month ago and then?” she asked hurriedly. “Friday night, who kissed who?”
Reese’s mind flashed back to her hand on Jette’s thigh under the dingy table at the bar. Even though Jette had technically kissed her first, it wasn’t as though Reese was an innocent bystander. “I—well—she did. But I started it,” she answered honestly.
Lida’s brow hiked as she surveyed Reese’s conflicted expression. “Okay look,” she began. “I don’t want to pry—”
“Yes, you do,” Reese quipped.
“Yes, I do,” Lida acquiesced playfully, lightening the mood.
“So how about you tell me what happened from the beginning?” Lida thankfully stayed silent, carefully absorbing as Reese explained every detail going all the way back to November.
They shuffled through the long and winding line to board the plane home.
Reese brought her voice down to a quiet murmur as they moved past other strangers in the queue.
She recounted the drag show and the way her eyes lingered on Jette’s lips, wondering how they would eventually feel against hers.
The surprising jealousy that had emerged when she watched Jette flirting with other women in front of her.
Lida’s eyes widened when she heard about the way Reese had walked in on Jette in the shower.
Reese could feel her own cheeks blush from the memory of how dry her mouth felt as she watched Jette through the glass.
But it paled in comparison to how flustered she felt as she relived the moments where Jette had actually been naked in her arms, no foggy shower glass to hide her perfect curves.
“Christ,” Lida finally muttered as they stood impatiently in the aisle of the plane, slowly making their way to the seats at the rear. “So while I was wrangling ten drunk teammates at the casino, you were having mind-blowing sex with the girl of your dreams. Un-fucking-real.”
A gentleman in the aisle seat glanced at them, giving an uncomfortable stare as he looked between Lida and Reese through his wire-framed glasses.
Reese swallowed her embarrassment and lifted her eyes, prepared to stare straight ahead until they were out of ear-shot again.
But Lida paused and looked him directly in the eyes instead.
“You know, it’s very rude to eavesdrop,” she said pointedly, hiking her bag up and over her shoulder as they meandered down the narrow aisle before slumping into the rear-most seats.
The overhead lights in the cabin dimmed as the hours ticked by.
Lida was slumped against her shoulder as she listened diligently.
Reese was thankful that Lida listened and asked questions without a single trace of judgment.
Not that she was worried about that. She knew Lida could never be that kind of person.
But Reese couldn’t help but feel like she deserved the retribution.
“So what does this mean?” Lida asked finally when Reese’s voice drifted into silence.
Her throat was tight after recalling the way Jette had left in a hurry.
She shrugged her shoulders, gently jostling Lida’s head still heavily weighing on her.
Lida sighed and continued quietly. “I’m assuming you’re not going to tell Kiran,” she said plainly.
The pit in Reese’s stomach fell even deeper.
She groaned and rubbed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets.
“I don’t know,” she began. Her mind raced as she imagined having to actually have the conversation with Kiran.
“I think I have to,” she finally added. Her voice was raspy from the dry cabin air.
Lida paused and shrugged against her. “I mean, you don’t have to do anything,” she offered, “You could just pretend it didn’t happen, if that makes it easier.”
Reese’s eyes narrowed as she stared out the window.
She turned to face Lida incredulously. The suggestion to pretend that nothing happened felt like a slap in the face.
Her stomach twisted painfully at the thought.
The idea of not telling Kiran had crossed Reese’s mind a few times.
After all, she hadn’t told him about the kiss.
But the past weekend felt too intimate, too consequential to keep it secret. “I’m not going to lie,” she hissed.
“I’m not suggesting you lie,” Lida shot back. “But you don’t have to make a big deal out of it, Reese. You had a fling, so what?”
Reese’s jaw dropped open. Minimizing her time with Jette as a fling stung. “Jesus, Li, this wasn’t some fling,” she whispered angrily, her words harsh and unforgiving. “I’m spilling my fucking guts out here and you just,” she scrambled to find the words.
“I don’t know why you’re getting upset.” Lida stated plainly.
Her voice was so flat it was as though they had been discussing the weather instead of the tangled web that consisted of Reese’s feelings.
“I’m just saying. You said so yourself that there’s a good chance she’s moving anyways.
It’s not like you’ll have to worry about running into her, so it might not even matter. ”
Reese’s head spun as she saw red. The words clawed up her throat before she could stop them.
Not that she wanted to. “It matters because I—, ” she cut herself off and for a moment, Reese was breathless.
Lida looked at her understandingly. A smirk settled on Lida’s lips and she tilted her head to the side, watching the realization dawning on Reese’s face.
“Because—,” she whispered to herself, holding a hand to her lips.
She’d spent the last several months avoiding this exact thought.
It was something she hadn’t been able to even think of in passing.
But here it was, staring her in the face.
“There it is,” Lida said with a smug smile.
Reese’s mouth was still agape as she looked at Lida in a daze.
“I’ve known you a long time. I’ve seen the way you are with other people,” she paused and dropped her hands into her lap.
“And then I saw the way you are with her. I don’t know what it is, but something’s different between you two.
” Lida fidgeted with her fingers as though the honesty of the conversation left her feeling too vulnerable.
“I’ve seen you happy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that happy.
And I think you’ve known it deep down all along,” she said quietly.
She leaned into Reese’s shoulder affectionately and continued, “You just needed a little push to admit it.” Her warm brown eyes twinkled from the admission.
Reese was still too stunned to be annoyed.
The epiphany punched her in the chest and it was as though she couldn’t quite catch her breath.
The past weekend just confirmed the feelings she had tried to hide were unwilling to be squashed.
She couldn’t help the warmth that flooded her cheeks.
The pit in her stomach eased for a moment as she basked in the realization.
Of course, this recent turn of events meant that Reese’s life was about to get significantly messier, but a thrill of exhilaration accompanied the anxiety lurking underneath.
Lida gave her space as Reese began swirling through the list of constants in her life that were about to be tossed up in the air.
And there was also the fact that Jette had told her that she didn’t want to talk to Reese anymore.
She instinctively reached for her phone before stopping herself.
The hurt in Jette’s eyes was something that Reese couldn’t forget.
She couldn’t undo the pain that she’d already caused.
And a rushed text message couldn’t convey the gravity of the feelings that Reese was fiercely aware of.
Jette was right. She deserved more than that.