Chapter 18
NIX
“Tell me you didn’t actually do that.” I practically fall off the sofa laughing.
“Ninety percent of what I said was exactly what I told them.” I hope the other ten percent is the part that included profanity.
“They needed to hear it. Their kid is great, but that’s not enough.
They need to provide more support around the house.
I’m there for the children, not to do household chores. ”
It’s a line Russ has always drawn with the families he nannies for. He’s happy to clean up after any activities he does with the kids, but he’s not a housekeeper. Last night’s dishes and general house maintenance fall to someone else.
“So what did they say?” Chase has a serious expression on.
The one that means business. He’s ready to go to battle for his brother.
Their dynamic is why I always wanted an older sibling.
One to step in and fight for me. Russ often hates it, thinks Chase should let him handle his own battles.
Personally, I would’ve loved someone to help fight off the high school bullies.
“They were hesitant at first, but by the end of the conversation, I think we were on the same page.” Russ leans back in the chair and sips on his wine. “You know, I do have this under control. I’ve done this a few times.”
A few is a vast understatement. I swear, he has this same discussion with every new job.
Most of the time, it ends up fine. But there have been a few times when it means the end of one of his gigs.
That used to be a bigger deal when he took live-in nanny positions.
Then his living situation depended entirely on his employment.
Now he only takes day-only jobs—no in-home living.
“So you’re good?” Chase still looks like he’s considering murder. I wish I could take his hand and provide him comfort. As things are, we’re separated by several feet, each of us taking one end of the couch. It’s terrible, being so close to him and yet so far away.
What’s worse is that I’m about to spend the night alone for the first time since my plumbing broke. I’ve never minded sleeping alone, often preferring it. Now that I’ve slept next to Chase, I can already feel the emptiness of the spot next to me in my room.
“Yes, big brother. I’m good.”
The corners of Chase’s mouth are pulled tight. Yeah, he’s not letting this go quite that easily.
“Okay, it’s been a long day, so I’m headed to bed.” Russ downs the last of his wine and stands, wobbling slightly before regaining his balance. “What time do we leave in the morning?”
“In the morning?” I ask, afraid I’ve somehow missed plans.
“Yeah, I’m the newest shop volunteer.”
“We don’t have…is eight-thirty okay?” There’s no use in arguing with him. I’ve learned that lesson time and again over the years. All I can do now is lean in to whatever he’s cooked up.
“Perfect. Night, you two.”
With Russ off to his room, that leaves Chase and me standing alone in my living room. “So,” I whisper, “big plans for the evening?”
“This is weird. Being here like this. Keeping a secret.”
“Do you want me to bring him back? I can give the two of you space.”
“No. Not right now. I’ll do it tomorrow after we’ve both gotten a little bit of rest.”
I highly doubt Chase is going to get much sleep tonight. He tossed and turned the last two nights, wracked with anxiety over Russ’s arrival. Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be better tonight.
After a quick glance around, I take a few steps toward Chase and give him a quick kiss. “I’ve been wanting to do that for the last several hours.”
“Oh yeah? Is that all you’ve been wanting to do?” His low voice does something to me. My cock immediately takes interest, despite the firm talk I had with it earlier about laying low this week.
“No, but I’m on my best behavior.”
Chase leans forward and wraps me in his arms, pulling me close to his chest. “I think I like you better when you’re being naughty.”
“Forgot to grab a book.” Russ’s voice echoes into the room before he comes into sight. We both jump back like we’ve been struck by lightning. “Do you have a recommendation, or should I pick whatever looks good?”
My best friend walks into the living room, dressed in his pajamas and rubbing his eyes. If he noticed how close together we were, he doesn’t say anything. I’ve got a pile of excuses at the ready, sitting on the tip of my tongue in case he asks. Instead, he only wants to talk about books.
“I can always make a recommendation, but you usually ignore them in favor of doing your own thing. Why don’t we skip a step tonight?” In part because we all need to get out of this living room and into our separate bedrooms.
“Great, I’ll take this green one.”
I practically huff. Russ has always been into picking his reading selections entirely based on the cover.
If a book doesn’t look the way he wants it to, he won’t read it.
God help the poor English teachers who had to argue with him over the years.
Every single one started their argument with You can’t judge a book by the cover, which was Russ’s cue to launch into a long lecture he’d developed on exactly why he actually can.
The only reason they ever won the battle is that Russ cared about his grades.
For a moment, all three of us stand in the living room, silently. Whatever we’re waiting for—whether it’s a confession or an accusation—it never comes. Instead, we head for the hallway that leads to the bedrooms.
“Well, goodnight, Russ. Night, Chase.”
“Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” I give Chase a dirty look over that one. It’s bad luck to even mention those things in the house. The northeast has been a hot spot for them, and I’m forever afraid that I’m going to end up with an infestation.
Chase, unbothered, winks at me before he slips into the guest room I set up for him.
“Thanks for having me, Nix.”
“It’s no problem. I’ve missed you so much.” I give Russ a long hug. It’s been too long since we were in the same physical space together. Video calls and text messages aren’t the same thing. “I’m just down the hall if you need anything during the night.”
He releases me and waves me off. “I’ll be fine. After the early morning wake-up call to make that flight, I’m ready to sleep like the dead. Plus, you know I always sleep with my earplugs in.”
Part of me wants to ask why he mentioned it.
Of course, I know he has a whole sleep system, but the reminder feels intentional.
Before I could ask, I bit my lips. If I open that door, I have to be ready for whatever questions lie on the other side.
Questions that aren’t mine to answer. Instead, I smile and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “See you in the morning.”
CHASE
How long before my brother is asleep?
After spending the better part of two months living together this year, plus our entire childhoods, I should know the answer to that question.
There are too many variables in the equation to figure out how long it will be before he’s out for the night.
It’s been exactly twenty-three minutes since we went our separate ways, each of us retiring to our own rooms. Since then, I’ve been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep.
It’s amazing how quickly I got used to being next to Nix.
Without his warm body next to me, it’s hard to relax.
With a heavy sigh, I throw the blankets off me, get up, and tug my pajama pants back on.
The last thing I need is for Russ to catch me in my briefs, standing in the hallway with my hand on Nix’s door.
At least if I’m in pajamas, I can claim to need something like water or a snack.
Not that I’m incapable of finding those things on my own, but it’s polite to ask the host before taking anything.
I open my door slowly, just enough to peek out into the hallway and look both ways.
It’s quiet—no movement, no light. I step out, keeping my feet light and moving as slowly as possible so none of the old floorboards creak beneath my steps. Outside Nix’s room, I debate whether I should knock. Ultimately, I decide to forgo politeness in favor of stealth.
Nix gasps as I step into the room, and I put my finger up to my mouth and shush him.
“This okay?” I whisper. I probably should have checked with him before I decided to slip into his bedroom in the middle of the night.
“Yeah, it’s good.” He gives me that smile, the one that always makes me fall for him a little bit harder.
“I couldn’t sleep without you.”
Nix looks at the clock. “It hasn’t even been 30 minutes. How hard did you try?”
Given the bedside lamp and the book in his lap, Nix hasn’t tried at all, which is strange for him, considering the late hour. As much as he likes to read before he falls asleep, he also loves his rest. I’ve never seen anyone so focused on making sure they get the requisite eight hours a night.
“I missed you,” I confess.
“Well, come here,” Nix says, patting the spot next to him in his bed—the one that’s been mine for the past several nights. It’s weird how quickly I’ve started to think of this room, this bed, as being mine.
One night of trying to sleep in a separate space, separated only by a few doors in the hallway, and I’m already coming apart.
I shuck off my pajama pants by the bedside and crawl in next to him, wrapping my body around him like a koala.
We spent most of the day deliberately not touching. It’s amazing how much effort the lack of movement is. Nix is like a magnet and resisting him feels impossible.
“How are you doing?” he asks.
“Fine,” I mumble against his shirt.
“How are you really doing?” he asks.
I let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. Anxious. Preoccupied. I can’t wait to tell him, but I’m also dreading it.”
“I get that. Is there anything I can do to help you?” Nix rubs his hand over my back in small circles.
“Distract me?” I look up at him and bat my eyelashes a few times, hoping he’ll be unable to resist.
“Your brother—my best friend—is in the next room.” He points at the wall.
“I can be quiet.”
Nix snorts. “Yeah, I haven’t seen that side of you yet.”
“I can be quiet when I have to. I just need the proper motivation.”
“And are you sufficiently motivated at the moment?”
I shift positions so my groin presses against his leg. I’m not fully hard, but I’m well on my way. “Yeah, I am.”
“You better be quiet. If I hear a single noise, I’ll stop.”
I’m about to ask what exactly he’ll stop, but then I think better of it. Instead, I loosen my grip on him in anticipation of whatever he’s about to do.
Nix takes a few seconds to get situated, moving the covers aside so he can nestle between my legs. “Remember, you’re going to be nice and quiet.”
“Yes—”
“Not. A. Word.”
I make the zipping-my-lips motion. That must be enough for Nix, because he slips his fingers under the waistband of my briefs and pulls them off in one smooth movement.
Nix makes quick work of getting me hard, licking and nipping at the skin around my cock while ignoring exactly where I want him. He’s enjoying it way too much, especially since I can’t beg him for anything without putting a stop to it.
I need to get him in this position at some point so I can return the torture.
“Are you ready for me?”
It’s a trick, and I know it. Biting my lips, I nod my consent.
Nix dives in without hesitation, doing that thing with his tongue around my head that I love so much.
It’s incredible how quickly he’s learned my body, figured out all the things I love.
He’s clocked every sound, every movement until he’s able to play my body like an instrument.
Nix wraps his fist around the bottom of my shaft, stroking me as he uses his tongue to give all my most sensitive spots an abundance of attention.
I shove my knuckles into my mouth to keep from calling out his name.
He must like that, because he moans around my cock and thrusts his hips into the mattress.
As I get closer to coming, it’s harder to keep from making any noise. I’m tempted to cover my face with a pillow to muffle anything that slips out, but then my vision would be blocked. Watching Nix suck my cock while he thrusts his hips against the bed is something I never want to take my eyes off.
The best I can do is tap his shoulder to give him a warning that I’m close.
He must get my message because he redoubles his efforts, licking and sucking like his life depends on it.
My orgasm crashes over me in waves, pulling me under.
It’s possible I let out a few whimpers and low moans, though honestly, I’m not sure which one of us made them.
“You did so well,” Nix says. He runs his tongue along my oversensitive slit, lapping up the cum he didn’t manage to swallow. That almost does me in. After getting through the whole blow job without making a sound, I nearly scream. “Sorry.”
I give him a questioning look, wondering if the ban on my making noise has been lifted. It’s not like he can take back the reward he already gave me, but he could try.
“Go ahead.” He gestures toward me as he sits up. “You can speak.”
“That was incredible. Tell me what you need.”
Nix gets that sheepish expression on his face, the one I haven’t seen in some time. “I, uh, already came.”
That. Is. Hot. “Really?”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“Hey.” I reach for him, pulling him up into my arms. “Don’t be sorry. I’m incredibly turned on by it. If I could go again, I would.”
“Okay.”
We sit like that for a few minutes, holding each other.
“I’m going to go clean up, then we can get some sleep.”
Fuck. I forgot he’d been sitting there with cum cooling in his briefs.
Nix ducks out to the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later wearing a different pair of pajama pants.
“What about my brother?” I ask as he crawls back in bed next to me.
“We’ll set an alarm so you can sneak back into your room before he wakes up.”
Sounds like a plan to me. “Thanks. For everything. For being such a great boyfriend. For distracting me. For giving me space while I work things out.”
“Of course. Anything for you.”
I let Nix roll over and use my chest as a pillow. It’s become a comfortable position for us. I worry that sleep will still be hard to come by, but as soon as I hear Nix’s breath even out, I slip into a deep sleep.