Chapter 19
NIX
“Welcome to Tannenbaum Tales. How can I assist you today?”
“Oh, um, is Nix here? I’ve got my BINGO card.”
“I’m by the counter,” I shout at Kyler. For the last two days, Russ has been greeting customers as if they’re at Wal-Mart rather than a small-town bookshop. Some folks have found it charming, but my regular customers are a bit confused.
“Already finished, huh?” Russ asks him.
“Yeah, I know it doesn’t say much about my social life. Can’t go out unless I have a sitter, so I tend to sit around and read in the evenings.” I can’t see Kyler, but I can imagine the way he looks when he says it. Anytime he talks about his daughter, his face lights up.
“It was a compliment. I like a man who reads.”
And that’s enough. I move quickly across the store to rescue my friend. Russ doesn’t mean any harm. He’s a flirt and happy to turn his charm on any good-looking available man. Kyler is both those things, which means he’s in danger.
“Hey, you want to come pick your prize?”
“Do you have pins again?”
Last year, I got these big buttons made.
They were supposed to be for the kids, but the adults went nuts for them.
Everyone around town wore them for months while boasting about how many squares they filled in.
There’s no prize for that, by the way, only for getting the original BINGO.
That didn’t stop people from turning it into some sort of competition.
Not really in the spirit of the challenge, but it did drive some extra revenue for the store.
“Yeah, I’ve got the buttons. Two designs, so you can pick.” I swear, the adults get more excited than the children when it comes to picking out stickers and other items. I think it’s because they so rarely get the opportunity.
“Oh, I’ll take this one.” He holds up one of the pink ones.
“Good choice.” I take his card and stamp it with the store logo to indicate it’s already been cashed in. Wouldn’t want anyone cheating.
“So, who’s your new employee?”
“Not an employee. He’s a friend visiting from out of town. He’s helping out.” I put helping in air quotes to make sure Kyler gets my point.
“I see.” He glances back to where Russ is reorganizing the stack of books Chase finished putting out an hour ago.
“Why? You want to burrow him for Yuletide Yarn? I’m sure he’d be great with your customers.”
“I’ll pass, but only because business has slowed slightly following Pride. People need significantly less glitter between now and the Fourth of July.”
“Thank God.”
Kyler nods his agreement. “Well, thanks for this. I’m going to use it to convince Nora that she should finish her own card.”
“She’s two. I’m pretty sure her lack of completion isn’t her own fault.” I tisk.
“It is when she wants me to read the same book over and over again.”
He’s got me there. She’ll need to branch out a bit. Maybe I should make a new version for the youngest kids so their parents don’t have to work quite so hard.
“See you on Thursday? Game night?”
“Always.” That’s how we met in the first place, him coming to one of our game nights. Now we mainly talk business, but he still makes it when Nora’s mom has her.
“Will your boyfriend—”
I wave my arms wildly, desperate for Kyler to be quiet. “Sorry,” I whisper. “That’s a bit of a secret.”
He frowns. “From who? I’m pretty sure everyone in town knows. You guys have done a terrible job of hiding it.”
I nod my head toward Russ. “That’s his brother.”
“I thought you said he was your friend.”
“That, too.”
Kyler nods. “I see. Well, he won’t hear it from me.
” The implication of that is clear. There are a whole bunch of other people in Sleighbell Springs ready and waiting to leak the newest gossip to anyone who will listen.
All Russ needs to do is bat his eyelashes at the right person, and he’ll have all the details.
“Thanks. Tell Nora hi for me.”
“Will do.” As soon as Kyler is gone, I send Chase a text.
Everything’s fine, but we need to talk about Russ.
Chase Haywood
Meet me in the backroom in 3?
I glance around. There’s no one browsing at the moment. “Hey, Russ?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you watch the store for a few minutes? I need to grab something from the back.”
“I can get it.” He gives me a big Russ smile as he saunters over.
“It’s hard to find. It’ll only take me a second or two.”
“Okay.” Russ looks defeated, but I sneak off anyway. I’m early, but Chase is already there, pacing back and forth between a few boxes.
“What happened? Did he ask you about me?”
“Nothing happened.” I put my hand on his waist to help ground him.
“My friend Kyler, the one who owns the craft shop, came in and almost blurted something out. He rightfully informed me that we’re going to have a hard time keeping this from your brother.
We’re lucky someone hasn’t already told him. ”
“Yeah, I know. Half the time I’m at the shop, I’m running interference. Keeping everyone as far away from him as possible. It’s exhausting.” He winces. “And I’m not getting much work done.”
“I think you need to tell him. At least about you. I’ll come with you if you want. We can do it together.”
“No.” Chase takes a big breath and lets it out slowly. “I want to do it myself. At least the part about me being bisexual. Then we can tell him about us together.”
Over the last few days, Chase has slowly become more at ease with the idea of telling his brother. There’s no more if it goes well statement tacked onto the ends of his sentences. We both know Russ is going to be thoughtful and caring. But imagining all the options is terrifying.
“Can I borrow him for a bit?”
“Please,” I say, chuckling. “I love Russ, but he’s driving the customers and me a bit crazy. They’re not used to his exuberance.”
“You’re the best, Nix.” He leans in and kisses me. For a while, we stay like that, wrapped up in each other, kissing slowly and deeply, with nowhere to go.
Except we both have places to be and things to do. By the time we break apart, his lips are red and swollen. Mine probably are, too. Not great for keeping our secret. I do my best to straighten up my glasses and tie, hoping that will hide at least a little bit of the evidence.
“Call me if you need me?”
Chase nods. “Yeah, I will.”
I’m so proud of him, it feels like my chest might explode.
This is only the first of many conversations like this he’s going to have to have, but the first one is always the toughest. Getting the words out to another person and waiting for their response.
I’ll forever be grateful that the first person I told was Russ.
I’m glad both Chase and I have him in our lives.
Now I just have to hope that he’s glad to have Chase and me together.
CHASE
“So, catch me up. What’s new? What’s the plan?”
“That’s a lot of questions.” I take the spot on the sofa next to Russ. I considered taking him to the coffee shop or for a walk, but decided I preferred the privacy of the studio for this conversation.
“Okay, let’s start with an easy one. How did you like the studio here? It looks great.”
“It’s been fantastic. I don’t need a lot of space, so this has been perfect.” We’ll ignore the part where I’ve mostly slept at Nix’s house since his plumbing issues got fixed.
“Was it hard? Sharing this small space with Nix when his water was broken?”
He would ask about that. Sometimes I forget how often Nix and Russ message each other. They know everything about each other’s lives. Usually, right now, there might be a few gaps.
“Not too bad. He wasn’t usually here during the day.” At least that much is true. “Do you want something to drink?” I try to remember what’s in the fridge. There’s not much, but maybe a couple of cans of fizzy water.
“Sure, whatever you’ve got is fine.”
What I’ve got is exactly one can of Polar blueberry lavender seltzer.
It’s the last from the special edition pack I purchased.
Largely because I pretty much hate the taste of lavender.
I grab that for Russ and a glass of water for myself.
At least having something in my hands will give me something to do.
“So, how goes the job search?”
“It’s…slow.” Actually, it’s come to a complete stop recently.
“I finished off the run coach course over the weekend. I’m scheduled to take the exam next week and then go get my CPR certification.
” I hand him his can and take my seat back on the couch.
“I’ve already got three clients, so I’m mostly up and running already.
” Dylan posted on his Facebook page, and suddenly I had a multitude of inquiries.
A few turned into real discussions. I hesitated to take on too much too fast, but Nix helped me work out exactly how many people I could take on using some time estimates.
It’s slow growth, but it’s moving in the right direction.
“You think you’ll do that full time?” He takes a sip and wrinkles his nose. “Skip getting back into the corporate finance world?”
“I’m not sure I can make it work as a full-time thing, but I doubt I’ll go back to working in finance. It’s been nice being away from it.”
“And Sleighbell Springs? Are you making this your new home?”
“Undecided. I guess it depends on how the next few weeks go.”
“Wait.” He holds up his hand and puts his drink down on the coffee table. “Are you seriously considering moving here?”
Up until now, I only briefly entertained the idea. Hearing it on Russ’s lips makes it sound so much more real. Would I move here? Give up city life for this? “Yeah, I think I’m considering it.”
“Well, then.” He doesn’t sound as surprised as I expected him to be. “Is it the person you’re seeing? The mysterious one you don’t want to tell me about?”
I don’t miss that he said person instead of woman this time.
“Russ, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.
” Maybe I should’ve gotten us some beer for this discussion.
The water isn’t helping anything. “The thing is that I’ve been learning a lot about myself while I’ve been here.
” I say the words Nix helped me practice, and it starts to feel a little bit more normal, even if my heart is trying to pound out of my chest. “One of the things that I discovered is that I’m… bisexual.”
The time between getting the words out and when Russ wraps his arms around me feels like an eternity. In reality, it must have been a few seconds.
“Chase, you know I love you. No matter what.”
“I know.” I barely manage to choke out the words. “I love you, too.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, giving me a little space. “You look like you might collapse.”
Seems to be a recurring theme with me lately. “I’m good now.”
“Good, because now that you told me, I have more questions.”
Wait. What? “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Before Russ can answer, Nick hops up on the couch and curls up in his lap. Traitor. As annoying as he’s been, I’ve started to think of him as my friend. Apparently, all it takes is for someone new to show up, and he’s ready to jump ship. Or laps.
“Who’s a good boy?” Russ coos and pets Nick’s head. Nick responds with a loud purr.
Yeah, yeah. Everyone likes Russ better.
“So, we can either keep playing this game, or you can tell me about you and Nix.”
“Me and Nix?”
Russ snorts and gives Nick a knowing look.
“First of all, neither of you is as subtle as you think. The two of you spend the whole day eye-fucking each other. It’d be hard for someone not to notice.
” I open my mouth, but he holds up a finger.
“Let’s pretend for a second that I’m less observant.
Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you sneak out of the guest room every night to sleep with him? ”
“Um, well…”
“You leave your door partly open. I got up to get a glass of water and saw it. Then I saw you weren’t in bed and there were voices coming from Nix’s room. I put two and two together.”
Oh God. I hope voices are all that he heard.
“And, even if the two of you had been able to keep it in your pants, I’ve been asked about your relationship by at least six people in the last two days. I can’t even get a cup of coffee without hearing gossip about you guys.”
“We were going to tell you?” I offer.
“Look, I’m not mad you didn’t tell me. I get it, you had things to work out. But, Chase, I have to ask, what are you doing?”
“Um, are you looking for like details?”
“No, eww. Gross. Absolutely not. I’m asking about your intentions.
You’re recently out of a marriage and newly exploring your sexuality.
You’re also unemployed and, last I checked, living here on a temporary basis.
You’re my brother, but Nix is my best friend.
He’s had a massive crush on you for as long as I can remember.
If this is a fling for you, then you need to end it quickly and leave so I can pick up the pieces. ”
I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten a lecture about dating from Russ before. “It’s not like that. Nix is special. Yeah, all the other stuff you said is true, but I’m working on it. With Nix’s help. He’s made all the difference in my life.”
“So what are your intentions?”
I roll my eyes at his phrasing, but his facial expression says he’s not backing down. “I love him,” I blurt out.
“Whoa.” Russ sits back on the couch and rubs his hand over his face. “I did not expect that.”
“Me either.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Yeah, I meant it. He’s incredible. I know you’ve known that for a long time, but I’m just realizing how true it is.
” From the gangly kid who used to follow me around the house, asking a million questions, to the incredible man who’s spent his free time helping me study for my certification exam, Nix has been with me in some way nearly my entire life.
This might be a new chapter for us, but I think I’ve loved him in some capacity for years.
“Does he know that?”
“Not yet, we haven’t…”
“Well, then I guess you know what you’re doing tonight.”
And just like that, I have a romantic date to plan.