31. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
Eva
Watching the coffee pour from the machine, I wonder why the hell I decided to make it like this. We never drink it like this. To pass the time? To fill the silence that’s lingering like a bad smell? I don’t know. Whatever my reason behind it, I’ve stood here for three minutes trying to work out what the hell is going on.
Carrie showed up early this afternoon. I called Mum after lunch, and once Liam was put to bed, after we’d baked and cooked dinner together, she moved from her spot in the living room to sit in the kitchen.
“Hungry?” I ask her, knowing she didn’t eat lunch. I grab a plate, holding it up.
“Please.” Carrie looks down at her phone. The thing’s been in her hand for the past hour.
I want to ask if everything is alright, but think better of it. Dishing us up in silence, I put the plates on the table, then, going back and grabbing the coffees, I put them down and pull out a chair to sit opposite her.
“Thank you,” she says softly. Her oval face is relaxed and beautiful, but I can see through the toughened exterior.
Moving my fork around my plate, I pick at the food and take an unwanted mouthful.
Luke left when Carrie showed up. Although he was around most of the morning, I could tell his mind was elsewhere. Now that the day has bled into the night, I haven’t heard from him .
The ominous talk we had in bed this morning has left me on edge for hours.
I’m not stupid. I know Carrie is here as some sort of protection. But honestly, when I look at her, sitting in her black trousers and over-sized jumper, she looks nothing like she did when we first met.
“So,” I begin, not really sure what else to say. I take another mouthful of food, giving me reason not to say anything.
Carrie takes a mouthful of her food, closing her eyes briefly as she chews. “Just say what’s been on your mind, Eva. I don’t bite.”
I look at her. Everything about her looks the complete opposite of me. Younger skin. Beautiful hair. Her makeup is just as good as it was at the function.
“You look so…”
Swallowing her mouthful, she carefully places her fork down and looks at me. “Like I shouldn’t work with two men?”
I sigh. Embarrassed. “Like you really should work in beauty.”
She gives me a sincere smile. “Thank you.” Taking a sip of her coffee, I watch her hold the mug, grateful for the warmth.
“How did you end up working with Adam and Luke?”
“Eva, we don’t have to do this small talk thing.” She sounds so serious. But she’s right. We don’t have to talk and tiptoe around each other. Although, sometimes talking rather than thinking is much better for us.
No matter how hard it is.
My tired eyes jump between hers. She looks nervous all of a sudden. “True. But I want to. I guess that’s the plus side to working with two guys.” A sceptical look dons her face. “No small talk,” I add, with a light shrug of my shoulders.
Carrie’s face drops, and I hear her sigh. “Funniest thing? I did want to work in beauty once upon a time, long before I met Adam.” She smiles to herself when she says his name.
“Luke’s brother?” I raise a brow. “You and he are good friends?”
Picking up on my obvious uncertainty, Carrie says, “We’re nothing.” She doesn’t say it bluntly, but my gut tells me she doesn’t like things the way they are .
I eat more food. “Do you want to be something?” I ask once I finish my mouthful. I don’t know where my brazen question comes from. I don’t know the lady sitting in front of me.
Carrie’s lips part like she’s going to say something. She falters, eyes dropping to her food. “I haven’t done this in a few years.”
“This?”
Her cautious eyes peer up at me. “Girl talk.”
I smile back at her.
“You’re right. Men don’t do talking.”
I read between the lines, inadvertently assuming she and Adam have some sort of relationship.
“He’s different to Luke,” she says, immediately relaxing. I can read her mind like it’s a piece of perplex glass. She’s fond of Luke in a completely different way to Adam. “Luke’s like the oddest big brother I never had.”
Confirming it, I see nothing but adoration in her eyes. Still, my face heats for once assuming she and Luke might have been something more than friends. Smiling to myself, I say, “He means a lot to you.”
She nods. “They both do. Even with their weird ways and odd obsessions with their cars.”
A burst of laughter escapes me before my face slams down quicker than a lead balloon smashing to the ground. I suddenly feel his absence, my chest immediately tightens. Where is he? Why haven’t I heard from him yet?
A flare of worry dashes through me.
Carrie reads my expression as I grab my mug and take a sip of coffee.
Mirroring my action, she slowly sips from her mug, eyes on me. “Now I know how much you mean to him,” she says softly.
My hands begin to grip my mug tighter. “What do you mean?”
She looks at the mug in my hand. “My sister tattooed that very image on Luke before she…” Quickly shaking her head, she stops herself from opening up. “He told her that if two birds were in love, something about them not being apart.”
The corner of my mouth lifts a fraction. “It’s cruel to separate them.” Beating faster, my heart skips a few beats .
Carrie’s sullen face warms. “We didn’t get it. Not at first.” She pauses before adding, “You know he had me watch you? Right up until he found out we’d be coming back here.”
Hot heat stings my eyes, a misty fog clouding my vision.
“He’s never opened up to me or Adam. Not in the years we’ve worked together. It would take someone pretty special for him to feel comfortable enough to share his past with.”
I swipe under my eye, my lips rolling together. Then I clutch my warm mug, nodding as I sip. “It’s still a little stalker-ish,” I tell her, oddly liking the idea he was always looking out for me.
Carrie laughs. “He wouldn’t let me watch you properly, though. I just followed you on social media as best I could.”
That thought makes me laugh internally. I stopped posting on social media when Liam was born. Once or twice, maybe. But that was it. She wouldn’t have found much.
“Properly?” I ask, realising what she said.
“We could have put trackers on you or tapped your phone, something intrusive like that,” my eyes widen at her, “but he didn’t want any of that for you.”
Is that supposed to fill me with ease? “What did he want for me?”
Placing her mug on the table, Carrie leans in closer. “For you to be happy. So long as you were doing well and were safe, he trudged on through each day until he’d finished righting all the wrongs. Then he was always coming back for you. Said he owed money for your car.”
I swallow, holding back tears. “He still does.”
Carrie smiles wistfully.
“Your sister,” I say, simply so that I don’t have to think about the time missed with Luke.
He could have come back to me right away. He could have reached out or had Carrie send a message—anything. I know his reasons for not doing so, but now, all I want is for him to come home. I can’t think about why I haven’t heard from him or why Carrie’s now checking her phone like she’s desperate to hear from them, too .
“What about her?” Carrie says, sadness etched onto her face.
“Does she live near you?”
Carrie places her phone back on the table. “No. She died.”
“How?” Carrie just said her sister had tattooed Luke. She must have passed away fairly recently.
“Overdose.”
“I’m sorry.”
A small twitch of her lip and Carrie looks at me. “Me too.” She leans her chin on her palm. “She was a lost soul. Destined to be a famous tattoo artist, though, I’m sure of it. She just couldn’t keep clean.”
I chew the inside of my lip before I say, “Liam’s dad is like that—can’t keep clean, I mean.”
She sighs. “It’s hard for them. Takes over their lives. Puts them in debt.” All I can do is nod, understanding. “She owed thousands to various people. I helped where I could, but then she ended up owing the wrong people.” Her story hits too close to home. “Somehow, I ended up taking on her debt.”
“Even after she passed?”
“Dealers don’t care about who pays them their money, Eva. Truth is, we tried so hard to keep her clean. Our parents paid for every therapy session and every intervention you could think of. I worked every hour I possibly could to get more money. Nothing was enough. In the end, she was too frail.”
“Are you still paying off her debts?”
She shakes her head. “I got a loan, paid the dealers what I could, then I found myself out of pocket. Some stupid idiot came to my place of work and told me I had one week to pay his boss back what was owed. I told him if he didn’t back off I would shove my hand so far up his arse, I’d be able to use him as my puppet.”
“What happened?”
Carrie smiles. “We became friends.”
I laugh to myself. “Adam?”
“Adam,” she agrees, chuckling. “He told me someone had quit and that they could use someone with an attitude like mine. So, his boss took me on. Let me work off my debt. And here we are.”
“Wow,” I say, a little taken aback. “Have you almost paid it off? ”
She smiles meekly. “I paid it all off last year.” Then she shrugs. “Guess it helped that I worked in IT. I brought a set of skills they didn’t really possess, as well as my attitude. Now they pay me to stay.”
That’s some story , I think to myself, knowing just how valuable people who are knowledgeable in IT can be. “My friend Jamie works in IT.”
“Does she?” Carrie says, interested. “What field?”
“Oh, I have no idea,” I say exhausted. “She’s told me, but that stuff goes over my head. She’s good at security, that much I know. Just landed a new contract, actually.”
“You sound proud of her.”
I nod. “Definitely.” I sip my coffee. “She’s not around half as much as she was, but she’s always looking out for me. Always had my back. She and my other friend, Tiffany.”
“What does Tiffany do?”
I cringe, my insides recoiling. “She has her own business in marketing. She’s the one you saw at the function.”
With a scoff and a slight laugh, Carrie’s face tightens, but she still smiles. “How could I forget? What was it she called me?”
My eyes close, my head falls into my hands. “A silly little twat?” My voice gets higher, like I don’t remember.
“Ah, that was it.”
“Christ, I’m so sorry,” I apologise, mortified. “We had no idea who you were.”
“Don’t worry about it, Eva. I blamed Luke.”
I look at Carrie, still embarrassed.
“He told me to play the part of his plus one.”
“You played it well,” I compliment, picking up and toasting my mug to her.
Her cheeks flush a light shade of pink. Carrie takes a few mouthfuls of food before stopping. “I think I’m full,” she says apologetically.
I wave my hand not worried at all. I can see she has a lot on her mind. Her shoulders have hunched. It’s the saddest I’ve seen her all day.
A sombre yet comfortable silence gently lands between us. We both sip our coffees, neither of us eating any more food .
Eventually, I stand once I’ve finished, grabbing my dirty dish and placing it on the side. “Do you know where they are?”
The silence stretches a little further before she speaks. “Eva, please.”
No . I can’t take it anymore. I can feel something isn’t right. “Something’s wrong. Isn’t it?”
With a heavy sigh, Carrie checks her phone one more time. “Shit.” She then lets it drop to the table with a bang.
Jesus. Her reaction says it all. “What is it? Are they okay?” My frantic voice does nothing to help her.
Carrie rubs at her temples. “I don’t want to stress you out, Eva. My job is to look after you.”
I shake my head, turning to look at her. “I’ve been stressed all day, and clearly, so have you. Don’t carry this all on your own. Maybe I can help?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it isn’t what Luke would want. Or Adam.”
I feel stuck like my feet are heavy blocks of lead. I can’t move. “Screw what they want. They’re not here.”
Carrie shoots a look to me. “No. They’re not,” she says quite firmly, making me stand a little straighter. Moments ago we were laughing. Now, we’re glaring at each other. Frustration rife.
“Should they have called?”
She shakes her head, annoyed.
“Oh come on, Carrie. You’ve been looking at your phone for the past hour like it’s going to explode.”
“Drop it.” I see her get overwhelmed. Her blue eyes are darting left to right. Her hands are shaking. Her feet are nervously tapping the floor. With an agitated push, she stands from her chair, sending it backwards. “May I use your bathroom?”
My lips part, my eyes focusing on her uneasy form. She’s escaping having to stand here with me. To tell me what the hell is going on.
She doesn’t give me her eyes as my heart threatens to leave to chest. “Upstairs. First door on the left. ”
She’s out of the room faster than a bullet. I knew something was wrong, but now my legs are shaking with unfelt fright. Something must have happened. Something serious.
Whatever Luke is doing, I could see it in his eyes he didn’t want to go. He knew he had to, but it didn’t change the fear I could see knocking behind the brave front. He told me he would be okay. He said he would come back when he could.
But what if he can’t?
What if he doesn’t?
My throat tightens as a sour taste fills my mouth.
I turn to the sink, grab a glass and pour some water. Gulping it down, I hear the toilet flush upstairs and the sound of Carrie running the tap. It runs longer than it needs to, and by the time I’ve finished the whole glass of water, I can still hear the pipes churning.
Turning on my heels, I freeze seeing Carrie standing in the kitchen doorway. I hadn’t heard her come back downstairs. “Carrie?” I ask, noticing her holding something in her hand.
Her face holds resentment as she stares at what I realise is the picture of me, Jamie and Tiffany.
Uncertainty surges through me. I can’t work out why something of mine is making her look like she’s about to shatter with rage.
Then she looks up, and I see it. I see all the fear, all the pent-up anger and frustration she’s been holding in, reach a boiling point. “Why do you have a picture of Adam’s sister in your bathroom?”