Chapter 9
nine
*SOREN*
Leo comes prepared. When I pick him up, he is not only dressed warmly, but he has everything prepared for Barkley as well and carries a backpack.
“I know you said you have it all covered,” he says. “But I got us sandwiches…” He glances at me, a flash of anxiety in his eyes. “I hope that’s okay.”
“Okay? It’s fantastic!” I reassure him. “I brought hot tea for us and some snacks. We can have your sandwiches too. And then after our hike, I thought we might go for dinner?”
“You really thought this through,” he says, eyes blinking in surprise. “Oh, wait. I need to take my meds before we leave.”
I take his backpack for him, waiting while he hurries back into his apartment.
A couple of minutes later, he is back. “Sorry,” he mutters.
“It’s just… I need to take these at a certain time each day.
If I take them too late, they might keep me awake at night.
” He flashes me an anxious look. “I am taking antidepressants.”
I stare at him, slack-jawed. He just told me this so openly, and I am not sure how to react to make him see how much I appreciate his trust. Before pondering over it for too long and making him anxious, I decide to keep it simple and honest. “Thank you so much for telling me. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to share this with me.”
Holding my breath, I wait for his response. I hope I didn’t make it awkward by saying the last bit, but he just smiles, his cheeks tinted in a slight reddish tone.
He tends to blush a lot, which is adorable.
“Are we ready?” he asks me.
“Yes, we’ll take my jeep and drive for an hour. Then we’ll have a two-hour hike. Oh, and we can always return in case we get tired.”
“I hope I am not going to hold you back,” he says while following me to my jeep. “Mrs. Bell said you go hiking regularly.”
“I just enjoy nature and spending time outside,” I explain. “It’s not about being so ambitious that I need to reach the top of a mountain every time.”
He brushes a strand of his hair from his face. “If I am walking too slowly, you can always go ahead.”
“No such thing,” I say. “Hiking rule number one: Never leave anyone behind!” Leo still looks nervous, so I try to reassure him further.
“I am really doing it for the fun of it, and for the feeling of freedom it gives me. And it’s honestly even better now that you are coming too.
” I wink at him. “As I said, nothing better than good company.”
I hope I managed to nip his anxiety in the bud, but I am not sure. I am not always the best with words. Robin thinks I am too direct sometimes, too matter-of-fact, as he calls it.
Leo, however, smiles slightly and nods. “I am curious if I’ll enjoy it. I bet Barkley will!”
“I am betting on the same,” I chuckle.
“Then it’s not a bet.”
“Yeah, I lost money recently betting with one of the cats I rescued.” I pause. “I think he was a cheetah.”
Leo blinks. Once, twice, then bursts into laughter.
My heart warms at the way he smiles and laughs. Although I haven’t known him for long, I‘ve already noticed that he doesn’t laugh or smile a lot, which is why I’m always so happy when I can make him smile.
We reach my jeep, tossing our backpacks into the trunk and then finally take off. “So,” I start. “Did I catch that correctly? Mrs. Bell gossiped about me.”
“Not just about you,” he groans. “She and the Porters were talking about the whole East Sunhaven vs. West Sunhaven rivalry. Don’t judge me, but for an outsider it’s a bit, well…“
“Weird,” I help out. “Don’t worry, I am not an outsider, and it’s hella weird. They have this insane snowball fight every year.”
“So, they weren’t joking about that one?”
“No, imagine soccer but with snowballs and more chaos. They actually have teams and practice the whole year.”
He stares at me. “No way!”
“You will love it. It’s hilarious. There is something really endearing about old ladies throwing insults at each other like little children and old men crying over a lost snowball fight, and then having mulled wine a minute later together.”
He smiles for a moment, but then seems to be far away in his thoughts again.
“Is something wrong, Leo?”
“It’s just… they saw my decorations,” he says, playing with the hem of his jacket.
“Yes, I guess a lot of them have spotted your work by now. Aspen’s and Robin’s shop is a place many frequent.”
“And they liked them.”
“Of course they do, they are fantastic,” I say. “I guess they want you to decorate for them, too?”
“Yes, but they also want me to help the town with the Christmas party slash snowball fight competition.”
“I had an inkling this would happen,” I say. “West Sunhaven is known for having terrible holiday decorations every year. It’s only one part of the whole competition, though; together with the snowball fight, the Christmas cookie competition, the sledge parade and the hot chocolate food war.”
I don’t know much about what happened to Leo, but I do know the things Aspen kept telling us about his little brother.
He has worked in marketing and graphic design.
Clearly, doing the decorations for Robin and Aspen was right up his alley, but somehow, he seems to be terrified of branching out or doing anything related to his old work.
“They really mean well,” I add softly. “And they wouldn’t be upset if you decline.”
“Won’t they be disappointed?”
“Not really,” I say, pondering the situation and what he just told me. The setup he did for the coffee shop library was fantastic. He clearly liked doing it. “Do you want to do it?”
“I am not sure if I can,” he admits quietly.
He goes completely silent, his breath hitching all of a sudden, just like two weeks ago when I met him for our first morning walk.
I reach out my hand, touching his knee. I have no idea if this will help in any way, but Leo’s hand snatches forward and grabs mine, holding onto it.
“You don’t need to do anything you don’t want or can’t,” I reassure him.
“If you want to, I can talk to them. Or Aspen will.”
“I should really be able to decline on my own,” he mutters. “But part of me…”
“Part of you wants to do it?” I conclude
He nods.
“Okay, so, what if you don’t take it on yourself. What if Aspen, Robin and I help you? Granted, we suck, but it’s about the fun anyway. Would that take the pressure away from you?”
He furrows his brows, pursing his lips. “I haven’t considered this option.”
“Take your time to think about it,” I tell him. “And when our mayor contacts you, don’t be scared to decline… or to agree. We’ll find a way if you want to give it a shot.” I smile at him. “Can’t be worse than last year’s decoration.”
“What happened last year?”
“Last year, they decided to skip the creative part and used LED lights for everything. We had a power outage that lasted for a whole day.”
He stares at me. “No way!”
I chuckle. “It really happened. East Sunhaven won by default, and then everyone gathered around Aspen’s shop because he still had hot chocolate leftovers, which weren’t hot anymore, but still enjoyable.”
“Sounds fun,” Leo says with a wistful smile.
“How do you usually celebrate Christmas?”
“I… I don’t think I have a real tradition,” he says evasively.
Okay, better not to touch on this topic.
Fortunately, we have arrived at our destination. I park the jeep at the side of the road, right next to where our path starts. “Look,” I say. “We’ll take this path. It will lead partly up the mountain ahead of us.”
“But not all of it?”
“No, it’s too dangerous to walk there in winter. We will try to reach the first observation deck, but as I said, no pressure. We can stop and return any time. As for the mountain summit, we can do that in summer, if you enjoy our little hiking adventure.”
We both exit the car, stretching slightly. Leo takes a deep breath. “The air is so fresh here,” he tells me. “I feel it in town too, but here it’s even fresher. Like there is nothing pressing on my chest.”
We make sure we are equipped with everything we need and slip into our waterproof boots before leaving the jeep behind and approaching the path that will take us through the forest. We take Barkley off the leash so he can run around freely, which he does by running next to us off the path where the snow is the thickest and keeps burying his head in the fluffy snow.
“He is so funny,” Leo smiles. “I don’t get sick of watching him.” He pauses. “You set me up with him, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” I say honestly. “Aspen approached me and asked if I had an idea how to make sure you wouldn’t feel out of place. Around that time, Barkley’s former owners dropped him on me.” I look at him thoughtfully. “I am sorry, we were probably pretty overbearing.”
“I don’t mind,” he glances at me, “much.”
I chuckle. “I promise, I won’t do it again.”
“Soren, I am not sure if I’ll be able to let go of Barkley when you find his forever home.”
“Then don’t,” I say.
“Huh?”
“Obviously, you can keep him. He is happy with you. I think he has already adopted you.”
Leo’s face lights up. “Can I really keep him?”
“Of course. I wanted a forever home for him, and the fact that he found it with you is the best outcome.”
Leo smiles brightly, looking so happy that it makes my heart flutter. I didn’t know he was able to look like that. He has such an expressive face, and it warms my heart that he can also look so openly joyful.
We fall into a comfortable silence the further we walk.
I make sure to take a couple of breaks so that Leo won’t feel pressured to keep up with my pace.
He is struggling at first, his breathing going faster, so I make sure to set a slow but steady pace.
Eventually, he gets accustomed to it, his breath evening out.
It takes us two and a half hours to reach the observation deck. It’s a beautiful place, a cliff that opens up the view of West Sunhaven, and right behind it, we can also spot East Sunhaven. The sun is shining now and lighting up the area, making the snow crystals glitter.
“This is amazing!” Leo blurts out, dropping his backpack on the bench in the small pavilion that provides hikers with a bit of shelter from the weather, and walks around to look at everything. Barkley, meanwhile, is rolling around in the thick snow, clearly having the time of his life.
Leo looks at the mountain ahead of us wistfully. “So, if we continued, we would reach the summit?”
“Yes. We can walk the whole path in late spring,” I offer. “Does that mean you didn’t hate our hike?”
“I hated the first thirty minutes of it,” he admits. “But once I got into it, it felt so empowering. And standing here and looking down at West Sunhaven, it just makes me feel so free and like I can accomplish anything. I can’t even imagine how it would feel to stand at the summit.”
“Do you want to join me on a couple more hikes?” I ask, trying not to sound too pushy or hopeful. I have mostly hiked alone, because neither Aspen nor Robin is into it, and none of my ex-boyfriends was either.
“Yes, absolutely! Barkley seems to love it too.”
Indeed, he is currently buried in snow and looking like the silliest, cutest pup ever. “How about next weekend? Are you and Barkley free?”
“We are available,” Leo says.
“Then I will plan something fun for next Saturday,” I promise.
Leo unpacks his sandwiches and hands me one while I make sure he gets a cup of hot tea. It’s still steaming thanks to my new thermos flask. I also brought some protein bars for us. It’s cold, so we don’t spend a lot of time eating, and soon find ourselves on the way back.
“Soren,” Leo says into the silence. “You are gay, aren’t you? Sorry, I shouldn’t ask… I know I shouldn’t, but I just didn’t… you know…”
“Don’t worry, it’s fine! I know Robin probably told you, or at least hinted at it. I am not keeping it a secret.” I smile. “Yes, it’s true.”
“Robin said you befriended each other in High school?”
“Yes, but I didn’t know I was gay at that time. He and I were just the two weird kids. I was a science nerd and somehow that was not particularly attractive to anyone.”
“I think it is,” he mutters so silently I almost think I misheard it. “Are you still a science nerd?”
“Yes, very much so, and I love Sci-Fi. I have the biggest Star Trek collection of both Sunhavens.”
He chuckles. “I am not sure if that’s saying a lot. You might be the only one.”
I smirk. “I knew you would say that, but we are a whole Star Trek club here.”
“No way!”
“Yes, it’s me, obviously, but also Maisie. She is the florist. You might have seen her.”
“Isn’t she… like… old?”
I grin. “She just turned sixty. Ben, a local farmer, joins us sometimes. I think he is secretly in love with Maisie. Then there is Jamie, a thirteen-year-old boy, and Jean, his sister. She is six. Plus, Pete. He is away at to college at the moment, but joins our meetings when he is on vacation.”
“You just made all that up, didn’t you?”
I laugh. “No. It’s true.”
I notice how much more open Leo is today; everything about him seems to be lighter. “Were you in any club?”
“No, not really. Though I always wanted to join a reading circle,” he admits. “I used to go to the fitness studio. I know, my stamina is lacking, though.”
“You simply trained different parts of your body,” I say. “It’s obvious you are athletic.”
“I didn’t have fun with it,” he admits quietly. “This here, this is fun. It just made me realize that I barely did anything I truly liked. Pretty pathetic, huh?”
“I don’t think it’s pathetic at all,” I tell him. “You are making changes now, and you are allowing yourself to be you and learn what you truly like. That’s true strength.”
“I wish I could truly accept myself.”
“Well, you made the first step,” I say. “Be patient with yourself. There is no hurry. This is your journey, and no one else’s.”
He blushes, twisting his fingers slightly.
“Sorry, did I sound too much like a fortune cookie?”
“No, you said exactly what I needed to hear.” He gazes at me. “I have been wondering…”
“What about? I will answer anything.”
I could swear there is a hint of mischief in his gaze. Now that’s something I want to explore further! “You know a lot of jokes, do you also know some pickup lines?” he asks.
Now that’s right up my alley! “You might be about to open Pandora's box,” I say seriously, looking him dead in the eye. “Are you a parking ticket?”
He looks equal parts confused and curious. “No. Why?”
“Because you have fine written all over you.”
I wait for it to sink in before I can see the realization dawn on Leo’s face, and he bursts into laughter.
“Do you have a Band-Aid?” I continue. “Because I hurt my knee falling for you.”
Leo slaps his forehead. “Oh no.”
“I would take you out to the movies, but they don't let me take along my own snacks.”
Leo laughs again.
We make our way back to the jeep in no time, with me throwing cheesy pick-up lines at him. It’s only when we reached my jeep that I noticed that this is the most fun I have had in a long time.