Chapter 13
thirteen
*LEO*
Robin pulled Aspen and two of his other friends onto the dance floor, leaving Soren and me behind. Soren has kept his hand on my upper thigh the whole time, only removing it when we got our food. Now that we are alone, he starts rubbing my thigh again.
“Leo, there is something I wanted to talk with you about.”
My first thought immediately goes to the worst-case scenario. Maybe he just figured I am too boring, too stupid for him, or that I have too much baggage.
“I don’t know what you are thinking,” he says. “But whatever it is, it’s not that.”
“Sorry, old habits,” I say quietly.
“I am not going anywhere,” he says. “It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to date anybody, and I certainly want to date you. Even more reason why I feel bad for hiding it from Robin and, particularly, Aspen. It makes it look like we are doing something forbidden.”
“Oh,” I blink. “Oh! That’s what you wanted to talk about?” When he nods, I let out a sigh of relief. “I wanted to talk about the same. Earlier today, Robin helped me with grooming Barkley, and he kept hinting that you might be crushing on me.”
“Oh, did he?” Soren snorts. “And of course he had to tell you.”
“Yep. Robin and I have that sort of relationship,” I say earnestly.
Soren taps my leg and laughs. “A gossiping relationship.”
“Exactly.”
Soren furrows his brows while looking at me. “See? This is the moment I would absolutely want to kiss you. The expression you just made is adorable.”
“I feel bad about hiding it, as well,” I clarify, feeling my cheeks heat up. “And I want to kiss you, too, just for the record.”
One of Soren’s brows moves up, his expression more than a little intrigued. He cups the back of my head, pulling me into a kiss. My stomach makes backflips in a way I have never felt before. I just want to straddle his hips and cling to him, feel as much of his body and his warmth as possible.
I wonder how he looks underneath his clothes.
Eventually, we draw apart to catch our breath. Soren leans his forehead against mine. “I wanted to do that ever since you stepped out of the car tonight and looked all delicious. Are you feeling good here?”
“Yes.” I peck his lips. “I didn’t think I would, especially not in that outfit, but I do!”
“You didn’t dress up the way you did just to sit around, did you?” Soren asks. “Have you ever danced before?”
“No,” I admit.
He takes my hand. “How about we give it a shot?”
I gaze towards the direction of the dance floor, noticing how Robin is shaking around like crazy and laughing, while Aspen moves to the music completely out of rhythm. Next to them is a guy who makes weird robot-like movements. They are just having fun.
I nod. “Let’s go.”
Soren doesn’t let go of my hand when we join our friends.
It’s the first time for me that I don’t need to hide who I am – well, I just hope Aspen won’t be mad that I am dating his best friend.
That’s my only worry. But other than that, no one looks, no one judges.
I only had hookups so far, and both I and my sex partners always were careful not to be seen.
I didn’t date.
Or have a guy holding my hand.
Or dance.
Or kiss in public.
Soren grabs me by my waist and spins me around so that I face him.
The gesture makes me laugh. Wrapping my arms around him, I decide to dive into the moment.
For now, all my worries are gone, I don’t need to think about the life I left behind, my parents, my old job.
I am just here, and somehow I feel so peaceful.
“I knew it!” Robin exclaims, popping up next to us and wrapping his arms around Soren and me. “Aspen!” he yells. “I told you so!”
“Jeez,” Aspen mutters, moving one of his fingers into his ear. “You are louder than the music.”
My heart stutters. Please don’t let him be mad, please don’t have him judge me. Dad hit me when he found out. I just can’t have history repeat itself. Soren moves his hand to my arm, his thumb gently massaging it. It’s only then that I realize my breath has started to hitch.
“So, is this the point where I need to tell you not to hurt my little brother?” Aspen says.
“I knew you would say such a cheesy line,” Robin grins.
“So, since when exactly is this going on?” Aspen asks.
Soren seems to be completely relaxed, and somehow his and Aspen’s nonchalant conversation brings me back to reality as well. Aspen did not disown me!
“Well, from my side, probably ever since you introduced him to me,” Soren says bluntly.
“Really?” I ask. This is new information, and makes me butt into their talk. “It’s the same for me!”
“I knew ever since last weekend,” Robin says.
“How did you know!?” Aspen exclaims.
“Soren took him hiking,” Robin shrugs. “And he picked him up every day to walk Barkley. The poor dog probably just wants a slow morning, instead of being dragged through town so that the two of them can pretend not to flirt.”
“I couldn’t help it,” Soren says, cupping my face with both hands. “Your little brother is just too hot.”
Aspen gags. “Get a room.”
Soren gives me a gentle nudge, making me gather my courage. “You really don’t mind?” I ask.
“I mean, it’s a bit of a surprise that my best friend and my brother are dating. I certainly need to get used to the kissing.” He looks at me before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Did you think I would mind?”
“No.” I pause. “Yes. Maybe.”
“I am going to fetch us some drinks,” Soren says. “Robin, I could do with some help.”
“Got you,” Robin beams.
I wait for them to have left us alone before I turn to Aspen. “I didn’t truly believe you would judge me, but… my mind goes to the worst-case scenario all the time.”
“I am part of the queer community here,” Aspen says softly. “You have nothing to be scared of. I will always accept you.”
Silence lingers around us. I wish I knew what I could say now. I want to explain to him how my mind works, and how it isn’t his fault, but there are no words that can truly describe how I feel and how sometimes I just spiral.
“Leo.” Aspen squeezes my shoulder. “Our parents fucked up. It’s their fault. We are not at fault for living our lives.” When I stay silent, Aspen adds. “I will keep telling you that you are not at fault until you believe it. Even if it takes me years.”
“Maybe you are right,” I say quietly. “I am happier here,” I finally admit.
We are interrupted by Robin, pushing through the crowd. “Grab your drinks before they spill.”
A bulky dude pushes against me while dancing, but Soren catches me with one arm without spilling our drinks. “How did you do that?” I ask, amazed.
“For real, did you practice?” Robin calls out. “How to be cool to show off in front of my young and impressionable boyfriend.”
“Who are you calling impressionable?” I complain.
“Did you just hint I’m not cool?” Soren adds, before he smirks at me. “Practice, huh? You know the difference between practice and—“
“No!” I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Do you know what’s better than telling jokes?”
“Oh, I know a couple of things,” he says, nibbing at my bottom lip.
“And for the record, I find you cool.”
“Oh fuck,” Aspen groans. “This is too much.”
“Come, big man,” Robin giggles. “Let’s dance so that these two can flirt as much as they want.”
Aspen lets himself get dragged away from us and to the middle of the dance floor, giving Soren and me some privacy.
Soren curls his finger through one of the loops of my pants and tugs me closer.
“I remember there was a comment about nibbling at you?” He whispers into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “When we came to the club.”
“I guess there was.”
He slips his thumb into the waistband, brushing over my skin. “Do you want me to nibble at you?”
Fuck, I have been battling an erection ever since he kept touching my leg under the table, but this is just unfair. But two can play this game. I sneak a free hand under his shirt, feeling the back of his skin. “So, what have you been thinking of?”
Soren moves his hand to the back pocket of my pants, pushing inside it and squeezing my ass.
Okay, he is better at this game.
“Do you really want me to show you what I’ve had in mind?”
His tone is teasing and sultry, but there is a hint of seriousness in it. My heart makes a silly leap of joy when I realize he is asking for my consent and checking in with me. “Yes.”