Chapter 12
twelve
*LEO*
Robin lives up to his promise and helps me dress accordingly, lending me his mesh top with the lingering promise of taking me shopping eventually. He claims my wardrobe is way too boring for a guy my age, saying that even Aspen is more adventurous in his clothing choices.
It’s another thing on the list for me to realize how little identity I truly have. I dressed the way I did, first because my parents wanted me to follow a certain style, and then because I wanted to fit in with a particular crowd at college and later at work.
But who am I?
“I think I would like some more colors in my wardrobe,” I admit.
Robin perks up. “Really?”
“Yeah, nothing too extra, but I’d like to wear something more stylish. I don’t really see myself with patterns, but… I love colors. And I want some fancy jeans, plus some sexy things.” I pause. “And accessories!”
“Please, allow me to take you shopping!” Robin begs. “Please, pretty please.”
Barkley tilts his head and barks as if he wants to back Robin up. I pat my pup’s head before nodding at Robin. “I do appreciate the help, really.”
“How about next week? I am off on Monday.”
“Sounds great,” I say. “I think Soren mentioned he wants to invite me on another hike on Saturday, so…” My voice trails off once I realize what I just said. Robin wiggles his brows at me, but otherwise stays silent.
Fortunately, I am saved by the bell, literally. “It’s me,” Aspen yells. “And Mrs. Bell.”
“Come in.”
I can hear Aspen’s heavy footsteps and the lighter ones of Mrs. Bell. It’s only then that I realized I am dressed in a revealing mesh top with only a blazer over it. Aspen lets her step in first, her face lighting up when she sees Robin and me. “Hello, you two sweethearts, you look fantastic.”
Well, so much about my insecurities. Barkley immediately jumps up at her voice and rushes towards her to receive his cuddles. Hopefully, no one will ever try to break into my place here. I bet my super-dangerous dog would try to cuddle the pitiful burglar to death.
“Thank you for looking after him tonight, Mrs. Bell.”
“Oh, I am happy to do that. We will have so much fun!”
I hand her a bag with some necessities. While I offered for her to stay at my place or at least drop Barkley off at hers, she was insisting on picking him up herself and taking him on a walk immediately. And then have her grandchildren come over. They are excited that their grandma is dog-sitting.
“I will pick him up tomorrow morning,” I promise.
She nods. “Don’t worry, and don’t stress if you want to sleep in. You and Soren can pick him up anytime.”
Me and Soren? Just how obvious are we!? Robin grins at her words, but at least Aspen doesn’t seem to have noticed anything. He keeps patting Barkley’s head before walking over to me and pulling me into a hug.
“What do you think?” Robin asks him eagerly. “Are we looking good or are we looking good?”
“You aren’t looking good,” Aspen says. Robin’s face falls, but Aspen just winks at us. “You are looking fantastic.”
Robin smacks his shoulder. “You got me here for a moment.”
Watching him interact with my brother, all smiley and giggly, makes me wonder if I was so preoccupied with my own problems and secrets that maybe I didn’t notice something…
I don’t push it, though. For one, I don’t know if I truly did see something right now or if it was just my mind playing tricks on me or if I am going to make things awkward. Going by my track record, it would probably be both.
When we leave, Robin is chatting with me, excited about the evening ahead of us. Aspen is driving us tonight. He is the ASP – the assigned sober person, as Robin calls it. “You can’t get anywhere here without driving,” he tells me.
“What about taking a cab?”
Aspen chuckles. “Expensive and not always available.”
“You are kidding?”
“No,” he grins. “But you will get used to it. That’s why we take turns driving.”
“Are we picking up Soren on the way?” Robin asks.
“No, his assistant is going to drop him off,” Aspen says.
“His assistant is a lovely person,” he tells me. “She is living on the outskirts of West Sunhaven and is in a poly relationship.”
“Oh, really? I didn’t know that. I completely forgot to ask Soren about her.”
“She doesn’t hang out with us a lot,” Aspen explains. “But sometimes we see her in queer friendly events.”
“I still can’t believe that this small town is so accepting,” I admit.
“Took a while to get there,” Aspen says. “But this really has become a great place to live.”
“Wait till you see our battle against East Sunhaven,” Robin adds.
Aspen groans. “It’s impossible to forget it,” he says, turning to look at me. “They go crazy every year. The snowball fight is like a warzone.”
“You are making this all up, aren’t you?” I ask.
Aspen and Robin exchange an amused gaze. “Wait and see for yourself.”
Soren is already waiting for us when we arrive. I need a moment to recover from how hot he looks. He is clad in tight, black pants that leave only a little to my imagination and a black satin shirt. Have mercy! He looks so good, I want to jump his bones immediately.
“You are staring,” Robin whispers towards me, the grin evident in his voice.
I tear my gaze away from Soren. The last thing I want is for anyone else to notice that I am staring. When I dare to take a look at him again, I can see a smirk curling around his lips.
“Oh, Nathalie is still here,” Aspen says, locking the car and following us.
“That’s his assistant,” Robin explains.
Now my curiosity is piqued. She is a tall woman with long brown hair, currently next to him, smoking a cigarette. “Finally,” she exclaims when she sees us.
“Sorry, we ran late.” Robin gives her a swift hug before tackling Soren.
“The streets were icy,” Aspen explains. “It was too warm today, and well, melting snow, and then the coldness of the night. You get it.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” She grins. “I was not complaining about you being late.” She turns to look at me. “I was just happy to finally meet the new sensation in town.”
I can’t help but startle at her words. Sensation!?
“Keep complimenting him,” Robin tells her. “He is just shy, but he needs to hear it!”
“Your Christmas decorations,” she says. “I’ve seen them, and I want some for myself!”
“You are not the only one,” Aspen says. “They want to hire him for the town decoration.”
“Well deserved,” she agrees. “Maybe we won’t completely suck this year.”
“Are you going to do it?” Robin asks me.
I take a shaky breath. From what everyone told me, I know that the last years of Christmas decorations here were a disaster, and I know the town just wants to look a bit better than we usually do.
It would give me something to do instead of moping around all day.
Furthermore, it sounds like this could be… fun. “I guess I could try.”
“Yes!” Robin exclaims. “We’ll have your back.”
“What Robin said.” Aspen nudges me gently before he greets Soren with a fist bump. A moment later, I can feel Soren’s hand on my back. It lingers there probably a bit too long to be considered merely friendly, his hand slipping lower once he notices how distracted the others are.
Nathalie eventually bids us goodbye and leaves us. When Aspen and Robin lead us inside the bar, Soren still has his hand on my lower back. “You know,” he whispers into my ear. “The food they have here is always great, but tonight you are the biggest snack.”
I blink up at him innocently. “Does that mean you want to nibble at me if you can?”
Soren looks surprised at my boldness, but his surprise only lasts for a second, then he smirks. “Wait and see.” His voice holds so much promise that it sends a shiver down my spine.
“Hey, everything alright?” Aspen says, peeking out of the entrance door again.
“Sorry, I just had to tell Leo my newest joke,” Soren says. “Wanna hear it?”
His bluff works because Aspen looks terrified. “Thank you, I am fine.”
“You know what else is fine?” Soren asks, following my brother inside. He turns to wink at me before he disappears through the door.
I can’t help the shit-eating grin spreading across my face while I follow the two of them into the bar.
What I see inside, however, takes my breath away.
They kept calling it a bar, while in fact it’s more like a club.
The first room is indeed a bar where quite some customers are lingering around or sitting on some comfy-looking lounge furniture, but further ahead, a door opens up to a huge room with a DJ and people dancing.
Robin falls back to catch up with me. “Have you ever been to such a place?” he asks. “Because it looks like you haven’t.”
“First time in a club,” I admit. “I have only visited cocktail bars so far.”
“Don’t worry.” He takes my arm to tug me along. “This is a pretty chill place. And we actually have booked a table in the bar area so we can always retreat and relax here.”
He leads me to our table, where Aspen and Soren are chatting with a couple more people.
They introduce me to them, and everyone welcomed me.
It seems like not all of them are queer – some are allies.
It’s all a whole new reality for me that I don’t need to hide anymore.
Although I have no chance to remember all their names at once, it makes me happy how welcoming and nice they are, and how many friends Aspen has.
He really has made it in his life.
Not the way our parents wanted him to, but he did. He made a good life for himself.
He has a steady job, he owns his own coffee shop, and he has good friends.
“Are you okay?” Soren asks me quietly while Aspen and Robin chat with their friends.
“Yes,” I reassure him. “My head’s just spinning. So many names, but everyone is so nice. I just don’t want to insult anyone by saying something wrong.” I pause. “I was in the closet for a long time, and I don’t know much about the queer umbrella term.”
“Don’t worry.” Soren reaches out his hand under the table, squeezing my knee. “No one expects you to get it all immediately.”
“Help me?” I whisper.
“Okay, the blond guy there.”
I nod. “The one with shoulder-length hair?”
“That’s Eli. He is in a polyamorous relationship.”
“Like your assistant? Like Nathalie?”
“No, Nat is in a hierarchical relationship. She and her wife are each other’s main partners.
They have specific rules with who and how they date others.
Eli is part of an actual throuple.” Soren discreetly gestures at a tall, handsome guy with dark hair and another man who looks to be a bit older.
“These are his two partners. They are all in a relationship together.”
“How does that work? I would die of jealousy.”
Soren chuckles. “Me too. But for them it works.”
“Right.” I nod. “I don’t want to sound judgmental. I am just so curious.”
“I know,” Soren reassures me. “What else do you want to know?”
“The brunette guy who is talking with Aspen at the moment… He said he is ace.”
“It means he is asexual,” Soren explains.
“Oh! That makes sense! And what’s with the blond girl?” I ask him. “Mia, was it? I noticed she wears a bracelet in specific colors. I know they are on the pride flag… but… Sorry, for being so stupid.”
“If you don’t stop apologizing, I might just kiss you here on the spot, and then leave for you to explain to everyone that we are dating.”
“You wouldn’t do that!”
He grins. “Dare me.” When I frown, he just chuckles.
“Don’t look like that. Of course I wouldn’t do it.
But I meant it: Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Like you said, you had to hide your identity for so long, it takes a while now to catch up with everything.
” He pauses. “So, Mia. The bracelet she wears, that’s the trans flag. ”
“Oh! I knew I had seen it somewhere before. I had a one-night stand once with a man who only recently transitioned. He was even more in the closet than I was. He basically went no-contact with his family.” I sigh. “Sorry.”
“You are doing it again,” Soren says. “Apologizing, I mean.”
“Yes, but I just told you about a one-night stand I had.”
“Well, you have a past.” He shrugs. “Don’t worry. I am fine with it. Don’t feel embarrassed for anything you did or didn’t.”
“Okay.”
This would be the perfect chance to ask him about his ex-relationships, but Aspen interrupts us by joining us. “Robin is going to order us some drinks,” he says.
“Awesome. And hopefully also some food,” Soren says.
“Yeah, I asked him to bring some fries.”
Under the table, Soren still has his hand on my upper thigh, now rubbing circles with his thumb. It’s such a simple gesture, yet it does something to me. His hand is so close to my groin. If he moved it only a bit upwards…
At the thought, I can feel my cock hardening.
Oh, fantastic! That’s exactly what I need now.
I am getting horny just sitting next to the guy I am falling for.
Like I am still a teenager. Fortunately, Robin returns right at that moment, successfully distracting me with some colorful cocktails he is bringing along.