Chapter 29
twenty-nine
*LEO*
It’s lunch when I wake up. Much to my surprise, I am in my bed, but Soren’s nowhere to be seen. Reaching out to the spot next to me, it still feels warm, though. Footsteps are coming from the living room, making me let out a sigh of relief.
I didn’t dream it.
He dropped by last night, apologized, and we made up.
Shortest argument I have ever had with anyone. But it’s good we were able to talk about it so fast and resolve it.
Actually, I think this is the first argument I resolved at all. I am pretty avoidant usually, and I might or might not have been quite the doormat for years. Funny. If the whole drama at my old job hadn‘t happened, I might still be there, still unhappy, and trying to be somebody I was not.
I hear footsteps coming closer again, and Soren, peeking past the curtain into the bedroom. His eyes light up when he spots me. “You are awake.”
“I can’t believe I slept until lunch,” I say.
“Same,” he chuckles. “So, how do you feel about getting up and then heading out for lunch? You told me to take you out for dinner, but we can make it lunch, and I will take you out to dinner another time.”
He sits down at the edge of the bed, putting his arm around me when I lean my forehead against his shoulder. Soren is warm; he always is warm. For someone like me who is always cold, this is perfect. He is my own personal oven. “I am getting drowsy again,” I admit.
“We can postpone our lunch date,” he says.
“No, I want to go out,” I say. “And Barkley needs to get out, too. I took him for a walk very late last night when I couldn’t sleep, but still…”
“I went outside with him briefly,” Soren says. “But you are right, let’s take him out for real.”
With newfound motivation, I drag myself up and into the bathroom, noticing that the shower water is still warm.
No need to wait until it’s warmed up. How very practical.
Another upside of having Soren with me overnight.
I turn it on even hotter, feeling my skin prickle slightly, but not enough that it’s uncomfortable.
A shiver runs down my back. Such a good feeling.
I’m inclined to invite Soren to take a shower with me, but something tells me he would run screaming the moment he notices how hot I actually shower. Plus, I want to eat… actual food.
With that in mind, I hurry to freshen up and get dressed.
Half an hour later, we are both ready to leave.
During the night, the temperature had risen, so some of the snow melted, but they dropped this morning, making the road more than a little slippery.
It’s almost like a massive ice blanket lying over the whole city.
Barkley, on his huge, clumsy paws, just stumbles down the way, but seems to enjoy himself, while Soren and I take turns steadying each other whenever we stumble and are about to fall.
“Good thing I left my car at home last night,” Soren says.
“For real.” I laugh when I notice how Barkley is crawling along the street on his belly, apparently thinking this all just a big game.
Further in the distance, I can spot Robin clinging to a road sign.
Barkley finds a piece of the road with crispy, icy snow on it.
It’s still slippery, but his nails easily dig into it, making it possible for him to walk.
“Come.” Soren wraps an arm around my middle and has us follow my pup.
“Trust a dog’s instinct. Besides, Bernese Mountain Dogs look clumsy and sometimes are, but they are outdoor dogs. ”
“Yeah, that part is way sturdier!” I say. “What a way to start the day.”
Everywhere around us, people are slipping around, but some of the neighbors have already started pouring grit onto the road.
“It was too warm yesterday,” Soren says. “But then freezing cold at night, especially in the early morning hours.”
In the distance, I spot a huge tractor driving down the road, pouring something onto the road. “Salt?” I ask.
“Salt and sand,” Soren explains. “When we get back, we’ll probably be able to walk normally.”
“What about Barkley?” I ask in worry. “Isn’t the salt going to be bad for him?”
“He should be fine as long as we wipe his paws once we are off the road,” he reassures me.
We have almost reached Robin by now, who waves at us. He clings to me once we are close enough. “This would be fun if I hadn’t dropped onto my ass four times,” he complains.
“Let’s grab something to eat,” Soren tells us.
“Nah, I am not going to ruin your date,” Robin says.
Soren and I exchange a quick gaze, nod firmly at each other, before turning to Robin. “You are not ruining anything,” I say, dragging him along.
“We love to have you around,” Soren agrees. “Just join us.”
Robin looks visibly happy immediately. He gestures at a restaurant close to us. “Since we can’t go far anyway, how about that one? It’s a Thai restaurant.”
“Pretty cool that you have a Thai place here,” I say.
“Yeah, it popped up last year,” Soren explains. “We have a few Chinese and Japanese places around, but it was quite the big news when this one settled here.”
“It’s the only thing I kind of miss about the bigger city,” I admit. “The many food places.” I nudge Soren. “But it’s not enough to make me want to return.”
“I know,” Soren says, looking a tad flustered. “This will haunt me for a while, huh?”
“Yeah,” Robin snorts.
I nod my agreement. “Definitely!”
“But we can travel,” Soren tells me. “If you truly miss your food choices. Let’s plan a couple of trips.”
“It’s funny how fast you can redeem yourself,” Robin mutters. “It must be a talent.”
Soren ignores him and opens the door to the restaurant for the both of us. It’s pretty crowded, but we manage to grab a table, and luck out on the waitress immediately taking our order. All three of us settle for Pad Thai, something I haven’t had in ages.
“Where is Aspen?” I ask.
“Working,” Robin explains. “His bakery is crowded, too. Everyone seems to want to be inside now, instead of being on the icy street. Though some kids have started to take out their ice-skates.”
“Of course they did,” Soren snorts. “Our local doctor will have a field day today.”
“Ah, but I get it,” I say. “It must be fun.”
Aspen and I were barely allowed to do anything even remotely reckless. I hardly even know what it feels like to be a kid, and just be allowed to run and jump and play. Not wanting to linger on these depressing thoughts, I try to focus fully on Soren and Robin.
“Did Michael drive home already?” I ask.
“Yeah, he left very early in the morning. Aspen helped him to get his car moving with snow chains. Strangely, the conditions of the street were better in the morning.”
“The problem is it was warm yesterday, then froze overnight, then got warmer again, which made the snow melt a little more, before it turned freezing cold once more,” Soren explains.
“It’s pretty rare that we have such thick ice on our streets.
It was certainly much better when I was walking to Leo’s place at night. ”
“Good thing Michael managed to get moving on time,” I say.
I like Michael as a friend, but I am still glad he is on his way back home. It’s not so much that I have an issue with him, or with him being here and mingling with my family and friends, but more so that his presence still reminds me of all the horrible things that happened.
“You have been quiet for a while,” Robin says. “Are you okay?”
“I just realized I still have some work to do,” I admit.
“I mean, I need to work on myself and my mental health. Michael reminds me of all the shit that happened back then, but that’s not fair, because he was literally the only one who fought for me.
He risked his own reputation and his job just like that. ”
“He is a good person,” Robin says. “I am glad at least somebody stood up for you.”
“That’s why I don’t want to hurt him by being distant,” I admit.
“It’s perfectly normal to have mixed emotions after seeing someone from your past,” Soren says.
Robin nods vigorously. “I agree. And just for the record, you were very kind to Michael. Nothing was off about your interaction with him.”
“We all know you have no issue with Michael and would welcome him with open arms if he visited again. I bet he knows that too,” Soren reassures me.
“You are not just saying that to put my mind at ease?”
“We’d never lie to you,” Robin says promptly.
“Alright, I’ll believe you then,” I say, feeling at least somewhat relieved. In case Michael ever comes and visits again, I will be prepared.
“Who did he actually stay with?” Soren asks.
“With me,” Robin says. “My place was closer.”
Soren groans. “Don’t tell me I woke him up last night as well.”
“Nah,” Robin chuckles. “The guestroom is a safe distance from everywhere else. He didn’t even hear me when I walked around to make myself coffee at 2 a.m.”
“How did your ostrich handle a spontaneous guest?”
“He was grumpy,” Robin grins. “But calmed down surprisingly fast. I guess Michael was too handsome, even for him.”
“You are exaggerating,” I grin. “You make it sound like Michael is from outer space.”
“Maybe not from outer space, but he looks like he jumped out of a catalogue.”
When I gaze at Soren, he keeps nodding as well. “Am I the only one who can’t see it?” I ask.
“Yeah,” Robin grins. “And please don’t tell us now how you think Soren is so much more handsome.”
Well, he is, I think to myself.
Soren puts a hand on my knee, his expression happy.
We are momentarily distracted by our food arriving, and then all of us digging in. Not to be dramatic, but I feel like I was starving.
Eventually, Robin breaks the silence. “Do we eventually want to talk Christmas plans?” he asks. “I know, I am pretty late with this. Christmas is in a few days, but somehow with everything else going on, I forgot.”
“Oh!” I perk up immediately. It’s the first year I am actually free to do what I want during Christmas. “Do you have a tradition?”
“Aspen, Soren and I used to celebrate together,” Robin explains. “But I was wondering if this year you and Soren want to do something on your own.”
“No!” I exclaim, before blushing. That sounded impolite and as if I don’t want to be alone with Soren. Turning to him, I start to ramble immediately. “It’s not like I don’t want to celebrate with you alone. It’s just—"
“It’s fine,” Soren grins. “I know you wouldn’t want to celebrate without your brother.”
“We usually meet around lunch and have a feast,” Robin explains. “Then sing cheesy Christmas songs, exchange presents—"
“We only buy small things for each other,” Soren adds.
“Yes, we don’t go overboard,” Robin explains. “The real joy is that we are together and spend time with each other. We drink wine and play games until night. Nothing special.”
“It sounds like so much fun,” I exclaim. “I want you to do what you do each year.”
“Really?” Robin perks up.
“I just want to experience a fun holiday for once,” I tell him. “Whatever you usually do, I am sure I will have fun with it.”
“We alternate where we celebrate,” Soren explains. “This year it’s Aspen’s turn.”
“Oh, and if the weather is right, he makes a handmade small ice rink,” Robin says. “We can ice-skate.”
“It’s been ages since I did that,” I say. “Let’s do it. Do you need any help?”
“Aspen and I will cook,” Robin says. “How about Soren and you make sure there is dessert and wine?”
“Do you really not need any more help?” Soren asks.
Robin grins. “Nah, you know how Aspen is in the kitchen. He hates giving up control. I’d rather you stay out of it.”
“Aspen is so cool, he can just do anything,” I say.
At that, both Soren and Robin chuckle. Robin smiles. “He will love to hear that.”
“Especially from you,” Soren adds.
I don’t really mind if they tell him. I also don’t mind that he knows. He is the best brother anybody could have, and I am so happy to be part of his life now.