Chapter 9
Caleb
By the time we reach the base of the mountain at the end of the day, I’m wiped out. Sam and Benji could’ve probably kept going until the lifts stopped turning, but I’ve had more than enough today in the best way.
I glance over at Nash as he unclips his skis. His cheeks are red from the wind, his brown hair is messy and wavy from his helmet, and when he catches me looking, he smiles.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod even though I’m not. I don’t want this to end. No part of me wants to get in the car, drive down the mountain, and go back to a life where none of this exists. My life back home suddenly feels a lot emptier by comparison.
We spent today laughing and taking advantage of the time we had on the lifts to get to know each other better.
Nash told me more about his daughter Emma and how she’s only six, but she can keep up with Benji, which is wildly impressive.
He shared that he’s from California but moved to Denver for college and never left.
I told him about my work designing homes, and he asked thoughtful questions like he actually cared.
He explained what he does in tech, and while some of it went over my head, I liked hearing him talk and watching his face light up when he mentioned his kids or a project he was proud of.
And now, as I carry my skis to the car, I already feel it slipping through my fingers, despite Nash saying he wanted to continue exploring this.
It’s impossible to ignore the voice in my head that fears once we go back to our real lives in Denver, the little bubble we’ve been in will burst. He’ll decide that a thirty-four-year-old divorced single dad with full custody, who’s probably bi, or maybe gay, but has never even been with a man, isn’t worth it.
That feels like a lot of baggage to willingly agree to, but I’m trying to hold onto hope because Nash has done nothing but surprise me so far.
When we reach our cars, which are parked side by side, all four of us begin going through the motions of peeling off layers, tossing jackets, boots, snow pants, and the rest of our gear into the trunks.
But my hands are slower than usual. For the first time in my life, I wish skiing came with more layers and more gear.
More things to put away. Just… more time.
While I milk it as long as I can, Nash looks at me expectantly, and I feel the gravitational pull toward him.
“I’m really glad we met,” he says in a low voice that’s just for me when I make it over to him. “This whole thing… it wasn’t what I expected when I booked this weekend, but I wouldn’t change any of it.”
My throat tightens. “Yeah. Me either.”
“Can I text you to make plans to do this again? Or meet up back in Denver?”
I swallow hard, that rush of hope hitting me hard because I want that. God, do I want that.
“Yes,” I rush out. “I’d really like that.”
“Me too.” He smiles softly at me. “I’ve got your number, and you’ve got mine.”
I nod, and before I can say anything else, he takes a step closer, stopping just inches from me.
My eyes rake over his handsome face until they land on his, and the air grows impossibly thick between us.
I swallow and lick my lips, trying not to show how fast my heart is racing.
Is he about to kiss me? There’s no way, right?
He leans forward, and I stop breathing. But instead of closing the distance between our mouths, he tilts his head, lips brushing my ear, and he whispers, “I really want to kiss you.”
The words hit me square in the chest because I’ve never wanted to be kissed so badly. He pulls away, and I look at him, startled and aching and feeling very, very alive. I suck in a deep breath, trying to compose myself.
“I would’ve really liked that,” I admit quietly, my voice rough around the edges. “But… you know.”
We both glance toward the boys who aren’t paying us any attention whatsoever. Still, it’s not the time or place. But the wanting is there, and this feeling isn’t going anywhere.
“Maybe next time,” he says, licking his lips.
I nod, biting back the smile that’s threatening to take over my face. “Yeah. Next time. I’m going to hold you to that.”
“Good thing I’m great at keeping my promises,” he says with a wink, and somehow, even in twenty-degree weather, I damn near melt right here in the parking lot.
“Dad, come onnn,” Benji groans behind me, immediately echoed by Sam.
“Guess that’s our sign,” I say reluctantly.
“Guess so,” Nash confirms, but neither of us walks away.
Instead, he opens his arms, and I don’t even think before I’m in them. I press my cheek to his shoulder and breathe him in, willing my body to remember this moment and this feeling. Nash’s arms are warm, strong, steady, and they feel like everything.
“I meant every word, Caleb,” he murmurs near my ear. “I’ll text you when we get home.”
I nod into his shoulder before forcing myself to pull away from the greatest comfort and acceptance I’ve ever felt in my life.
“Dad, can we do this again next weekend?” Sam asks, and I turn to look at Nash, who smiles at me.
“Nash and I exchanged numbers, so we’ll talk and see when you boys can meet up again. How does that sound?”
“Awesome!” Benji cheers, and Nash and I laugh with our eyes locked on each other.
“Okay, let’s head out,” I say, closing the trunk of my car. Just as I’m about to walk to the driver’s seat, Nash rounds the corner again, pulling me into him in another tight embrace and kisses me on the cheek.
“I promise the real thing will be even better,” he whispers before pulling back, leaving me there, breathless. He’s flipping my entire world upside down with a few words and a completely innocent kiss.
I open my car door and drop into the driver’s seat, sitting here for a moment, completely taken aback knowing this man is just as affected by me as I am by him.
That this man wants to see me and spend time with me.
My heart is still pounding from those whispered words and the brush of his lips on my skin as I grip the steering wheel.
He didn’t have to say any of that, but he did.
For the first time in years, I don’t feel ashamed, or like I missed my chance, or messed something up.
And the old pain that’s dug deep into my chest every time I think about why my marriage really ended starts to loosen… just enough to hope I can finally have everything I want.