Chapter 9 - Purity
Purity
The morning sun seeped through the crisp white curtains, pricking William’s bleary eyes. On the pillow next to him, a halo of gold gleamed across Adathan’s hair, framing milky skin, rosy cheeks, and a serene smile. None of it had been a dream—William still owned a person.
William watched Adathan sleep, resisting the all-consuming urge to hold him.
How could a man who’d suffered so much abuse still be full of love for a world bent on breaking him?
And why did he have to be the first person William felt a strong connection with in .
. . almost forever? What did it say about him that he was developing feelings for someone who would never be allowed to leave?
He wasn’t sure what to make of that, except that there was something deeply wrong with him.
William’s heart sank. He didn’t want to step back into reality. He just wanted to sleep until the situation resolved itself.
Except it wouldn’t.
He rolled onto his back, careful not to wake Adathan. He glanced at the nightstand, a rush of nausea rising in his stomach at the sight of the lube Eden Serviteurs had included as part of Adathan’s deluxe accessories.
Oliver would have known better. He would have found the right words to kindly turn Adathan down and make him understand that his worth wasn’t tied to what he could give. William had done the complete opposite. He’d caved in and let his attraction win.
He let out a quiet sigh and sat slowly. He took the manual from the nightstand and checked the table of contents, scanning for sex-related chapters and stupidly hoping for guidance on what to do next.
Introduction to Your Serviteur’s Sexuality
William jumped to page forty-three.
Sex is a natural part of life.
He curled his lip.
As such, Serviteurs are conditioned to match their master’s libido and preferences, making them the perfect sexual partners.
Our rigorous training program ensures that they are adept at giving and receiving pleasure in all its forms. Rest assured, however, your brand-new Serviteur has never had sexual relations with another person before. Its purity is guaranteed upon delivery.
William put the manual away as Adathan stirred in his sleep, his pulse quickening at the implications. Adathan hadn’t been raped after all. But then, how had he been trained? Books? Videos? Life-size dummies?
Oliver probably knew the answer, but William didn’t have the strength to be on the receiving end of his disappointment. It would be another stressful day; he needed to preserve his energy.
Adathan let out a faint whine as William lay back down. He no longer had a serene smile on his face—his brow had furrowed, and his lips curled into a grimace. His body twitched, his breathing quickening into whimpers.
“Hey,” William whispered as he placed his hand on Adathan’s shoulder. “Hey.”
Adathan woke up with a jolt, but his breathing continued to quicken. He stared at William, his eyes wide with heartbreaking terror.
“Just a nightmare,” William said softly, struggling not to feel like the monster Adathan appeared to be seeing. “You’re safe.”
Adathan’s lips trembled, his eyes filling with tears as he held William’s gaze. “I dreamed that . . .” he said in a tiny voice.
William wasn’t sure he wanted to know. What kinds of nightmares did slaves have? Certainly not stupid ones like being at school and realizing he’d forgotten to put clothes on. “It was just a bad dream,” William said, rubbing Adathan’s shoulder. “You’re not in danger.”
Adathan took a shaky breath. “I dreamed that you s-sold me to an unkind p-person.”
Adathan’s words hit William like a punch to the gut. Whenever William woke up from a nightmare, it took at most ten seconds for him to realize none of it was real. He wouldn’t ever lose all his teeth, or miss an exam, or pee his pants in front of his crush.
Adathan didn’t have that luxury.
“I’m not selling you,” William said firmly.
“I’m sorry,” Adathan said between sniffles. “I’m sorry, Mast—”
“Don’t apologize,” William interrupted. If he heard that word again, he was going to lose it.
“I’ll be good, I promise.”
William froze for a second, panic clawing at his chest. He didn’t know what to say—he didn’t know how to reassure someone like this. “Can I hug you?” he blurted, his voice tight.
Adathan nodded, and although William wanted to ask him whether he’d agreed just to please him, he didn’t. He surrendered to his selfish urge to hold Adathan close—to hide Adathan’s face from sight so that he would no longer see the distress in his eyes.
Adathan exhaled a long breath against his chest as William wrapped his arms around him. “Thank you, William. You’re very kind.”
Tears welled in William’s eyes as he held him. Adathan was entirely dependent on him. Forever. He was vulnerable and scared, and William had had sex with him.
“I’m not selling you. I promise,” William said, focusing on not puking.
Adathan returned William’s hug and whispered, “I’m grateful. So grateful.”
William closed his eyes, fighting off his tears. He was aware that Adathan’s situation could have been much worse, but it didn’t change the fact that he should be with someone who had more to offer than not being a sadistic psycho.
William’s eyes snapped open as Adathan’s lips brushed his nipple. “I’ll go take a shower,” he said as casually as possible.
Adathan kissed his nipple again. “Do you want my company, William?”
“Actually, I gotta make it quick.” He let go of Adathan and pulled away, forcing a smile. “I have a couple of things to do before we go to the airport.”
“May I help?”
“No.” William climbed out of bed, all too aware of his nakedness. “But thank you for asking. I’ll let you know if I think of something you can help with.” He almost forgot to grab clean clothes from his suitcase in his hurry to retreat to the bathroom.
William stepped into the shower, not waiting for the water to warm up. He grabbed the soap and scrubbed every inch of his skin as memories from yesterday flashed in his head, flooding him with corrosive shame.
The worst part was that he’d enjoyed it.
He’d relished the sensation of Adathan’s silky hair against his fingers, and Adathan’s smooth skin against his lips.
He’d reveled in Adathan’s delightful sighs and moans, and in the look of ecstasy on his gorgeous face as William had shown him what gentle, caring sex was like.
He’d taken comfort in the way Adathan had clung to him as if he finally felt safe.
But it didn’t matter whether William had liked it, or how respectful he tried to convince himself he’d been. It was clear that Adathan had only initiated because he was afraid William would abandon him.
And now he knew, with a dull, sinking certainty, that he could never let it happen again.
William turned off the water and exhaled a long sigh. He needed Oliver’s guidance—there was no way around it. He would have to man up and own his mistakes.
Oliver would be understanding. He always was.
William finished his rushed morning routine and left the bathroom.
He froze as he found the bed neatly made.
He looked toward the kitchenette and saw Adathan, fully dressed and standing with his hand pressed against his heart.
He was immobile like a statue, back straight and shoulders squared, and wore no facial expression whatsoever.
“Adathan?”
Adathan blinked and looked at him with a smile. “I’m ready to serve you, William!”
William couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. “I have to go downstairs for a bit,” he said as he grabbed his phone. “Just gotta get a few things sorted out before we leave.”
“Okay,” Adathan said, his hand still pressed against his heart.
“You can relax while I’m gone. I won’t be too long.”
Adathan made a brief nod but still didn’t move.
It took William a second to realize his mistake. “Actually, you can relax now. You don’t have to wait until I’m gone.”
Adathan loosened up and took a seat at the dining table, giving William a bright smile.
William returned his smile before heading out, burying his discomfort to deal with later.
The lobby was much busier than yesterday. William stepped out of the elevator, uncertain what to do. He would have preferred more privacy. At the same time, it’d be easier to go unnoticed in a noisy crowd.
William walked to a couch and took a seat. No one would give a damn about him; they were all too busy going on with their rich-people mornings.
He took out his phone and typed before he changed his mind.
? William: I need to talk to you
It barely took a minute before Oliver called him. “Are you okay?” he asked as William answered.
William sighed. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
“Did something happen?”
William rested his forehead in his palm.
The temptation to make something up was almost impossible to resist, but he had to go through with this.
Just thinking of Adathan made him feel such disgust for himself that if he went back to his room now, Adathan would notice and feel responsible. “I did something bad,” he whispered.
“Don’t tell me you accepted their offer.”
“No! No, I didn’t. Of course not. It’s . . . something else.”
“Did you hurt him?”
“No! Of course not!”
“Then what happened?”
“I . . .”
“It’s okay. I’m sure you’re making it worse than it is.”
“I had sex with him.”
The silence following his confession was worse than a flurry of insults. William would much prefer being called an irredeemable dipshit or kicked in the stomach.
“You had sex with him?” Oliver said.
“I didn’t mean to!”
“Then why did you do it?”
“He was all over me, and—”
“That’s what he was trained to do.”
“He wasn’t abused,” William blurted in defense, the iciness in Oliver’s voice making his shame unbearable. “I read the manual. It said he never had sex with anyone before.”