Chapter 18 - Forbidden
Forbidden
It had been far too long since William last came here.
He climbed the concrete stairs, his mind relaxing at the mere sight of the library’s facade.
The sun gleamed across the spotless windows, and the building’s white brick sparkled like fresh snow.
Although it had stood there for decades, the library looked as if it hadn’t aged a day. This city valued its institutions.
“It’s a beautiful building,” Adathan said. “A fitting homage to the collective knowledge it hosts.”
“It is,” William said, choosing not to correct him.
Granted, part of the selection was educational, but the library also had plenty of stuff like romance novels and comic books.
William doubted anyone would become a genius reading those—but he supposed they made for good entertainment for whoever was into that sort of thing.
He opened the door for Adathan. “After you.”
Adathan placed his hand on his own chest in mock modesty. “Why, thank you.”
William couldn’t stop his lips from curling up. Adathan looked absolutely radiant.
They’d gone to the store right after their visit to the biodome to get Adathan hair accessories.
William had told him to pick whatever he wanted, expecting Adathan would grab simple hair ties and pins.
Instead, he’d surveyed half the selection and ended up choosing a black hair stick engraved with golden flowers.
It hadn’t been cheap, but when Adathan disappeared into the restaurant’s restroom and returned with his hair in an elegant bun, the butterflies in William’s stomach sang their approval.
William followed Adathan inside the library. The scents of new and old books enveloped them, mixed with a hint of citrus and cleaner. They headed to the reception desk, where a man with green hair and red-framed glasses greeted them with a big grin.
“Hi,” William said as he and Adathan took a seat. “He’d like—” He looked at Adathan, remembering he had no reason to be speaking on his behalf.
“May I get a library card, please?” Adathan asked.
“Absolutedly!” The man looked at his computer screen and clicked a few times. “I’ll just need to see your ID, please.”
Adathan took out his brand-new wallet and handed him his health insurance card.
“Mister . . . Gabriel Eden.”
Shit.
Adathan’s eyebrows twitched, but he stayed silent, his smile unwavering.
William leaned forward. “Would it be possible to use his preferred name instead?”
The man handed Adathan his ID back. “Of course.”
“Thank you, sir. My preferred name is Adathan Eden.”
The man’s smile widened as he typed on his keyboard. “Like the angel?”
“Yes! Like the angel.”
Huh.
William hadn’t realized Adathan was an angel’s name. It figured that a company selling slaves like consumer goods would have no qualms about using divine names for their so-called products. Not that William was religious, but his mom believed in angels; she’d be profoundly hurt if she knew.
William wondered if she had an Adathan figurine at home.
“Here ya go,” the clerk said, handing Adathan his library card. “Just sign right here.”
A brief surge of anxiety hit William, but Adathan picked up the pen and signed the back of his library card with practiced ease.
Another false alarm. They’d been in public all day, but nothing in Adathan’s behavior had betrayed the fact that he wasn’t supposed to be a part of this world. He was impressive.
A smile tugged at William’s lips as he recalled the very first conversation they’d had at the hotel. Adathan had rolled up his sleeve to show William his barcode tattoo, apologizing for not being a real person. Since then, he’d been gloriously proving himself wrong every day.
In your face, Eden Serviteurs.
William leaned back in his seat, drowsiness tugging at his brain. They’d eaten far too much at the buffet, and now he was paying the price. Doomed to be a zombie for the rest of the day.
The clerk explained everything to Adathan, gesticulating enthusiastically as if he were telling him about the latest epic he’d read. This man loved his job; there was no doubt about it.
William would never be passionate about working for an insurance company, but he hoped his new responsibilities might make it more tolerable. He’d be developing new skills, which was something to look forward to, and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have a boss who had faith in him.
Adathan stood up. “Thank you very much for your time.”
Judging by the look in the man’s eyes, he would have been happy to give Adathan a whole lot more of his time.
William rested his hand on the small of Adathan’s back as they walked away. “Did you want to borrow some books today?” he whispered.
“Yes.” Adathan stopped and looked at him. “Unless you would rather return home?”
“Nah.” William smiled, gently nudging him forward.
They walked past several aisles of children’s books and headed for the stairs to the second floor. Adathan stopped again, gasping softly as he looked up.
William followed his gaze to the gigantic art piece hanging in the center of the U-shaped staircase. It wasn’t his first time here, yet he’d somehow never noticed it before.
Dozens of metal books floated midair in an intricate spiral, each open at a different angle, as if frozen mid-fall. Light from the skylight glinted off their sharp pages, scattering reflections across the walls.
“It’s magnificent,” Adathan whispered.
“Yeah. It really is.”
William felt his shoulders relax as they reached the second floor.
Panoramic windows let in the late afternoon rays, bathing the space in a warm, welcoming glow.
Most seats were occupied, but everyone appeared to be suspended in time, fully absorbed in their activities.
It was such a stark contrast with the other places they’d visited today—like a cozy hideaway from the day-to-day rat race.
William should come here more often.
“Go ahead,” he whispered, spotting an unoccupied armchair. “I’ll sit over there and send Oliver our pictures while you pick out your books.”
Adathan smiled, gave William’s wrist a quick squeeze, and disappeared between the shelves.
William placed his backpack on the floor and dropped into the armchair, sleepiness instantly washing over him.
What a day.
He didn’t regret a minute of it.
He took out his phone and sent Oliver every picture Adathan had taken today. Even the selfies. Even that one picture Adathan had snapped when William had chocolate trickling down his chin. The traitor.
Man, that dessert had been so good, though.
William smiled as he put his phone away. He suppressed a yawn, letting his gaze wander across the shelves as he relaxed into the upholstered armchair. Maybe he should borrow some books, too. It’d be a better use of his time during his commute than doomscrolling on his phone.
But he was so, so comfortable.
He suppressed another yawn and looked up at the sign of the section he was sitting in.
Mystery
Well, wasn’t that convenient.
William extended his arm and grabbed the book closest to him.
The cover showed a cat in a detective’s trench coat holding a woman in denim shorts so tiny they were practically panties—not what William had expected, but certainly not a letdown.
The artwork was incredibly detailed, especially the cat’s fur.
If the author had put as much care into the writing as the cover, it could only be good.
“The Mangy Detective,” he mumbled to himself.
William dropped the novel onto his lap and reached for his buzzing phone.
? Oliver: Wow! Big day :) Did you have fun?
? William: Yeah. Don’t miss the noise though
? Oliver: Lol. I bet you don’t. You must be tired.
He was, but it felt different from his usual fatigue. He had no desire to hide in the dark and curse the entire universe. In fact, it almost felt . . . good.
? Oliver: Is Adathan next to you?
? William: No, we’re at the library. I’m waiting for him to pick out some books
? Oliver: If you need some alone time tomorrow, he could come hang out here for a few hours.
William frowned as a spike of annoyance hit his gut, though he wasn’t sure why. Oliver’s assumption that he might need space wasn’t unfounded—and honestly, Oliver was probably right. With William’s new job starting on Monday, he’d benefit from a bit of time to gather his thoughts.
Then why was he feeling like this?
William reread Oliver’s text, his annoyance softening when he finally understood what had caused it. He couldn’t blame Oliver for infantilizing Adathan—he’d been guilty of it himself.
Now he knew better, though. If he really needed space, he could just let Adathan know directly. Adathan could go for a walk, come here to read, spend the afternoon with Rosanna, or do whatever else he felt like.
They had no business deciding for him.
? William: Do *you* want to hang out with him?
? Oliver: Yes. I know I said I was tired the other day, but I don’t want to isolate myself just because socializing is harder than it used to be.
I really enjoyed his company, and I slept better than I had in months.
So I guess it was just a stupid way for me to say that I’d like to spend more time with him.
And now I realize I didn’t even take his opinion into account. Not very proud of myself :(
William’s heart squeezed. The world would be a better place if everyone had just a fraction of Oliver’s humility.
? William: Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he’d love to see you again, but I don’t know if he already has plans for tomorrow. You could send him an email and ask him directly though, I think that’d make him happy
? Oliver: Good idea. I will, thanks :)
William looked up as a beaming Adathan appeared, holding five books against his chest. That was quick.
? William: Gotta go, he’s ready to leave. I’ll tell him to check his email later
He stood up, stifling a groan at his protesting body. With furniture like this, you might think the library wanted to hold its visitors captive.
The clerk zeroed in on Adathan as they headed downstairs to the self-checkout. Predictable. William checked out his own book first, then stayed close to Adathan . . .
. . . in case he needed help.
Adathan set his load on the counter. William’s eyes widened as Adathan scanned them, every cover showing men kissing in varying states of undress. One featured a pair who looked a little too much like him and Adathan. Except more muscular.
William tore his gaze away, heat creeping up the back of his neck. He put Adathan’s romance novels into his backpack, crossing an arm over his soft belly as they left.
“You looked surprised, William,” Adathan said a moment later as they walked along the sidewalk.
“Hmm? What do you mean?” William asked, even though he knew Adathan knew he knew.
“By my choice of reading material.”
“Um, well.” William made a dismissive hand gesture. “A little.”
“Oh?” Adathan circled William to face him. “And why is that?” he asked, his smile widening in a slow, cheeky stretch.
William shrugged, averting his gaze. He didn’t really have a reason for his assumption—or at least not one he could say to Adathan’s face without sounding like a judgmental asshole.
In truth, William had never read a single romance novel in his life.
Until now, he hadn’t even known there were gay ones.
Which was beyond narrow-minded, he was forced to admit to himself.
Adathan took a step forward, stopping short of their bodies touching. “Would it surprise you if I said romance novels are my favorites?”
William looked at him, unsure if he was serious. With Adathan, it was sometimes difficult to tell. “Really?”
“Mm-hmm.” Adathan reached for his cheek, the delicate touch making warmth bloom in William’s chest. “I think there’s nothing more captivating than the story of two people falling in love.”
“There’s people falling in love in a lot of books that aren’t romance,” William blurted. Why? Why was he even arguing? Why did it bother him so much that Adathan loved romance novels above all?
Adathan cocked his head, fingers moving from William’s cheek to the nape of his neck.
“True,” he said softly. “But romance digs deeper into the complexity of human relationships. The happy and the sad; the beautiful and the ugly; the fair and the cruel. It strips the characters’ vulnerabilities bare, exposes their hopes, their fears, their desires . . .”
A shiver tore through William as Adathan’s fingers brushed his scalp. His hand tightened around the strap of his backpack, his mind racing in search of a way to end this conversation. Resume their walk. Go back home.
And then what?
“Sometimes pure,” Adathan said, wetting his lips and looking deep into William’s eyes. “Sometimes forbidden.”
William’s heart skipped a beat, his breath hitching. He tried to take a step back, but his body leaned forward of its own accord, drawn in by Adathan’s striking eyes. He urged himself to say something, but his brain was useless mush.
“But always impossible to ignore, no matter how hard the protagonist tries to resist,” Adathan said, as if reading his mind. He pressed his other hand against William’s chest and moved it up, slowly, tenderly.
William let out a shaky breath, every muscle taut from the raging battle between his mind and body. He’d known this was bound to happen, and honestly, he had no desire to resist it. But they’d been supposed to have a proper talk about their relationship first. Share expectations, set boundaries.
For Adathan’s sake.
Adathan rose onto his toes, his face inching alarmingly close to William’s. “Like you, for instance.”
“Me?” William breathed out, butterflies fluttering through his stomach.
Adathan’s eyes crinkled. “I saw the way you were looking at me all day,” he whispered, his fingers dancing in William’s hair. “Wishing you could kiss me.”
“W-wait—”
“Shh. I know you’re conflicted, William,” Adathan whispered. “It’s okay.” He cupped the back of William’s head, slowly closing the distance between their lips. “Let me make it easier for you.”