Chapter 19 - Seen
Seen
“No.”
William barely had time to see fear flash in Adathan’s eyes before he pulled him close. “I mean—not here.”
God, he really couldn’t let a day go by without hurting Adathan, could he? William squeezed his eyes shut, hoping Adathan would understand from his embrace that he truly had no intention of rejecting him.
He didn’t think he’d survive pushing Adathan away. Not with his body and mind constantly drawn to him. Not with the way his heart fluttered when he returned home to him. Not with all the long-term plans he’d made despite himself, each one centered on Adathan’s presence in his life.
“You’re a romantic, William,” Adathan whispered in his ear.
William let out a slow, calming breath as he felt Adathan smile against his cheek. He’d never considered himself a romantic. He simply didn’t want their first kiss to happen on a random sidewalk where anyone could see. Adathan wasn’t just a fling. He deserved better.
Adathan cupped the back of William’s head. “It wasn’t my intention to rush you.”
William’s shoulders relaxed at the soft caress of Adathan’s fingers.
“You’re not rushing me.” Well, he sort of was, but William couldn’t bring himself to be upset about it.
As a tall man with a resting scowl, he’d always been expected to be the confident one in relationships. To set the pace. Be in control.
He’d always hated it. The pressure to perform a role he wasn’t comfortable in only made him more hesitant and awkward. All he’d ever wanted was for his partner to take the reins, but he’d never dared to ask, worried he’d just be shifting the burden onto them.
William thought of the intimate moment he’d shared with Adathan at the hotel. Adathan had been in control, all right. With a touch, a look, a smile—he’d made William do whatever he wanted. And fuck did William wish he could relinquish control again.
But would it be right?
“It’s just that, I was so proud of being seen with you today,” Adathan said.
William’s face fell. There it was—the empty flattery they’d trained him to deliver. But it wouldn’t work on William. Despite how much he wished those words were true, he wasn’t naive. There was nothing about him anyone would be proud to show off.
Adathan’s lips brushed William’s ear. “When you touched me,” he whispered, “when you showed everyone I was yours . . .”
William’s eyes snapped open, a shiver jolting down his spine.
Adathan let out a soft sigh, his fingers gripping William’s hair. “It set my skin on fire.”
William let go of Adathan and cupped his face with both hands.
He looked into his eyes—really looked—and dared his brain to call him a liar.
He dared it to keep coming up with excuses to reject whatever didn’t align with its piss-poor narrative, because God forbid he stop being miserable for once in his stupid life.
William pressed his lips to Adathan’s.
Ripples of warmth burst through his chest as Adathan kissed him back, their lips moving in unison, falling into a rhythm as natural as breathing.
He wrapped his arm around Adathan and drew him close.
The rest of the world fell away as William’s senses fixed on the beautiful angel in his arms. His smooth, agile lips seeking William’s feverishly.
His delicate fingers dancing in William’s hair, then gripping, then relaxing once more.
His body pressing into William’s, melting in his arms. His irresistible scent.
His intoxicating taste. His searing warmth.
The beautiful sound he made as their kiss deepened.
Fuck.
People were undoubtedly watching, but William didn’t give a shit.
Adathan was proud to be seen with him? Fine.
William hoped everyone was taking a good look because it was all they were getting.
No one else would ever have the privilege of kissing Adathan like this, because William had no intention of ever letting go.
He would protect him and cherish him and l—
Adathan pulled away, breathless. A satisfied smile spread across his glistening lips as he caressed William’s cheek. “Should we go back home?”
The look in Adathan’s eyes stirred molten lust in William’s stomach. He grabbed Adathan’s hand and resumed walking, thanking his past self for choosing an apartment so close to the library.
His pulse raced as they hurried home. A tiny voice told him they should talk first, but it was a lost cause. Fuck reason. Whatever Adathan wanted tonight, he was getting it.
William rushed up the stairs, fumbled with his keys, dropped his backpack, kicked off his shoes, and closed the door.
Adathan tugged on his collar, pulling him down for a kiss—one nobody would see.
William groaned, his body alight with need. He adjusted himself in his pants as he kissed Adathan back, their noses bumping in his haste.
Adathan chuckled and tugged harder, pressing his own shoulders against the door. He parted his lips with a breathy moan.
Every coherent thought vanished from William’s brain. He pressed his forearm over Adathan’s head as he deepened their kiss, the door rattling loudly from the impact. His other arm wrapped around Adathan, reaching for the curve of his perfect ass. He squeezed.
Adathan bucked his hips. He let go of William’s collar, sighing through his nose as he began unbuttoning William’s shirt. His hands slipped through the opening and brushed William’s chest.
William shivered, pressing their foreheads together as he caught his breath. He glanced down and winced at how tight Adathan looked in his skinny jeans. “Can I?” he whispered, drifting his hand from Adathan’s ass to his hipbone.
Adathan’s lips quirked into a smile that made William weak in the knees. He let go of William’s chest and pressed both hands against the door, his eyes begging William to hurry.
William obeyed. He closed the distance between their lips, giving Adathan a soft kiss as he undid his jeans. He slid them down, careful not to drag them against the swell in Adathan’s boxers. Adathan bit his lip, making him groan.
Fuck, he wanted him.
William trailed kisses along Adathan’s jaw and neck as he lowered himself. He knelt before Adathan and looked up, his heart skipping a beat at the sinful expression on Adathan’s angelic face.
Hooded eyes met his gaze, blue and deep and brimming with lust. Adathan licked his swollen lips, his fingers snaking through William’s hair and giving a tug.
A growl fought its way out of William’s throat at the sting. Adathan was in control all right. With a touch, a look, a smile—he could make William do whatever he wanted.
William was all too happy to relinquish control.
———
The late-morning sun warmed William’s skin, the soft breeze carrying scents of fresh bread, coffee, and those fat bouquets the florist had on display. His thumb moved to the slow rhythm of his leisurely walk, tracing gentle circles on Adathan’s hand.
He glanced at Adathan strolling next to him for the umpteenth time, and his heart swelled at how goddamn lucky he was. It was difficult to fathom why he’d resisted so long.
In a sense, he was proud of himself for it—impulsive as he was, he rarely managed to show restraint. It was proof of how much he cared. Of how much Adathan mattered to him.
William let go of Adathan’s hand to squeeze past a large group of people crowding the sidewalk. He stopped and turned, waiting for Adathan to fall back into step with him.
Adathan wore a black hoodie and faux-distressed blue jeans today, his long hair bouncing as he caught up with William. They exchanged smiles, and their hands found each other as soon as the space on the sidewalk allowed it. Just like magnets.
Adathan had taken off his last bandages this morning, his cuts now almost completely healed. William was optimistic that no such incident would happen again. He’d make it clear to Adathan that mistakes weren’t worth panicking over. After all, they were only human.
“You guys have any plans for the afternoon?” William asked as they turned onto Oliver’s street.
“He didn’t say. Maybe we’ll play Scrabble again or watch TV. And you? What will you do while I’m gone?”
“Miss you” almost slipped from William’s lips. It was scary but the truth. Now that he’d embraced his attraction to Adathan, all he wanted was to spend every waking minute with him. And sleeping too.
“Not sure,” he said. He hadn’t given it much thought, busy as he’d been having Adathan on his mind, in his bed, and in his arms. “I might take a nap.”
Adathan bit his lip seductively. “So, you’ll be energized upon my return.”
Heat crept up the back of William’s neck—and down low. He glanced around them, but no one seemed to pay them any mind. When he looked back at Adathan, he found a self-satisfied smile on his face.
William narrowed his eyes. It appeared Adathan enjoyed making him all hot and bothered in public. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, but he knew better than to give Adathan the power of openly admitting it.
“We’re here,” William said, stopping in front of Oliver’s apartment building.
Adathan wrapped his arms around his torso. “Thank you for walking me.”
“Of course.” William stroked his back. “Just ask Oliver to let me know when you’re ready to leave, all right? I’ll come get you.”
“There’s no need.” Adathan pulled away, giving him a bright smile. “I know the way back now.”
William blinked at the unexpected response. Was this about boundaries again? Nothing in his body language should have made Adathan think he needed space. Unless it was Oliver who—
No. From the few texts they’d exchanged, it was clear Oliver wouldn’t treat Adathan the same as before. Oliver was smarter than that.
Still, William couldn’t understand what had changed—why Adathan suddenly wanted to walk alone.
“You sure?” he said. “I really don’t mind.”
Adathan cocked his head. “Are you concerned for my safety, William?”