Chapter 18 DUSTY
Chapter eighteen
DUSTY
Pulling into Mont and Arthur’s ranch, I saw the horse trailer sitting by the barn. Was that Joe and the cowboy he’d been spending time with? Trying not to be obvious, I slowed down and looked at the stalls. I could see several horses, but Amber’s stall door was open and I couldn’t see her.
I went inside the house to meet with my boss. When I knocked on their door, Mont looked at me with a face that told me something was wrong. Oh, shit, he knew.
“Arthur is in the other room.” He said quietly as he stepped out on the porch.
I’ve known him for several years now, so I was reasonably sure he wouldn’t beat me up. However, we were talking about me getting freaky with his brother-in-law. Even knowing that the look he gave me was serious, and a ripple of fear rolled through me.
“Okay. Sup?” There was a possibility this look meant something else.
“I’ve heard things.”
I swallowed hard. This was about Joe. “What things?” My voice went up a few octaves.
“I don’t need to tell you how important Arthur is to me. When Joe’s brother is happy, Arthur is happy.”
I looked at him, waiting for him to say something more. “Uh, huh.”
“Dusty, do I need to say anything else?”
“No. I understand. He is a good man, I won’t hurt him.”
My voice was gritty, and I tried not to show fear. Joe and I were being honest with each other, and there was no way I was going to share that I had found I wanted him to be with someone else, only to have him share it with me.
After the shovel talk, he guided me into the house. Drake, Mont’s dragon companion, sat on one of his perches. I would swear he gave me the stink-eye, making sure I knew he was watching me, too. When I sat down, Mont’s demeanor changed, and I realized his husband didn’t know.
We spent two hours discussing band business, including what we would do when Joe joined us.
On the front porch, I could see in the barn, and the familiar shape of Joe was there feeding the horses that were begging for treats. I’d been down there many times, handing out peppermints, the big animals still scared me, but they were gorgeous, and I spent time down there with Mont regularly.
Without thinking, I headed toward him. There was no way I would see him and not steal a kiss.
As I rounded the front of the truck that had the trailer attached, I saw a tall man cuddled against a horse.
He didn’t see me, so I took a minute to look him over.
He had long legs, tight ass in wranglers that fit like skin, strong back, thick arms, and a black cowboy hat.
I couldn’t see his face, but from the back, he was hot.
He was nuzzling against the horse’s head, and I could barely hear him. “What do you think? I like him a lot. I want us to officially date Dusty. How am I going to pull that off?”
It was a funny coincidence that his horse’s name was Dusty.
I could only assume he was talking about Joe.
His words made my stomach flip around and sink at the same time.
I liked Joe so much that it felt like I might be ready to have a boyfriend.
Then my mind went to what they had done together, and I could feel myself getting aroused.
They had been gone a long time. Did they do something today?
Joe looked my way, then stopped moving. Obviously, he realized this would be a strange situation, with the two men he was sleeping with meeting face-to-face.
If I recalled correctly, this guy’s name was Gentry, and I was already in this, so I might as well introduce myself. He may not even know who I was.
Gentry turned around.
Everything in my world stopped. This couldn’t be happening.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe walking towards me. I dropped to my knees and started to sob. My chest felt tight, and I couldn’t breathe.
I knew it was Joe who came running up next to me and gently rubbed my back.
“Dusty, what’s wrong? Do I need to get Mont? I’m here. Talk to me.”
I couldn’t form words or think. Shaking uncontrollably, I recognized Mont’s voice trying to get information from me.
“Dusty, I’m going to call an ambulance if you don’t say something.”
A significant amount of time had passed, but I had no idea how much. “I’m. I’m.”
“Alright, that’s enough to know you are still with us, no emergency services.” He sighed. “Do I need to get Ma?”
I finally opened my eyes and looked up. Squatting in front of me was Jacob, the man I had waited for and loved exclusively until the last few months.
“Hi.” He smiled at me.
That was it? A simple ‘Hi’ from him. I launched myself at him, wanting to beat the crap out of his beautiful face.
The face that was charming Joe, and left me behind.
The next thing I knew he was on his back, and I was throwing punches.
My inability to fight was clear, but I was giving it my all, plus Jacob had a much longer reach than I did.
He rolled back and forth, avoiding being hit.
“Dusty, stop.” He wrestled me until he had my arms pinned to my side. “Calm down. I know you have a lot of feelings at the moment, but you have to stop trying to hit me.”
I looked up. Joe and Mont were watching, clearly confused about what was going on.
Jacob was about seven inches taller than me, and had about seventy pounds more weight, but I had so much pain and rage that it needed to go somewhere. He held tight.
“If I let you go, do you promise not to attack me again?”
“Yes,” I said begrudgingly. The truth was, I had never been so happy to see someone. He looked amazing, and my heart filled up.
He let me go, and we pushed ourselves up off the ground.
I stood there looking at him. Everything else in my world melted away.
How I threw myself at men for years. Meeting Montgomery, who changed how I viewed myself.
The only thing that was still there was Joe, because he had some of my heart, and now I had a problem.
It was possible that Jacob no longer cared about me, but what if he did?
“It’s really you?”
I could see a tear slip down his cheek. “It is. I came back for you on my birthday. You were gone.”
“I’ve missed you. You really became a cowboy.”
He swallowed hard. “Yeah, I did. I missed you, too. I waited for you.”
“They call you Gentry now? And you changed your last name.”
He smirked, “Yeah. I started using Gentry when I went to the first ranch and wanted to distance myself from those people who raised me.”
I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, Dusty was still standing there in front of me.
I walked toward him, and all the anger and frustration of those years floated away.
As soon as I could, I wrapped my arms around his torso, and he hugged me tight, his hands boosting me into his arms, my legs going around his waist, and I clung to him.
He kissed me hard. “You are gorgeous, Baby.” He said while looking in my eyes. Tears were falling from both of us. “I can’t believe you are here.”
When I turned my head, I saw Joe running to the main house, and he looked wrecked.
“Joe, wait,” I called after him.
“Joe. Please.” Jacob yelled next to me.
We started to follow him, but Montgomery stopped us.
“No. Neither of you will be allowed near him until you have worked this thing out. I will not let you upset Joe further, because that will upset Arthur.” He growled, “If Arthur is upset, then I am upset. Understand?” He turned and followed Joe into the house.
Mont knew exactly who Jacob was because I had spent hundreds of hours with him discussing our past and what our love had looked like. I didn’t know what to do. My heart was breaking and completely full at the same time.
“We need to talk.” He smirked and then took my hand. “First, you have to meet my best friend. This is Dusty.”
He patted the horse’s neck. “He is the best horse that ever was. I assume you know how he got his name.”
I grinned at him. “I have a guess. How about you come over to my place for some dinner, and we can talk.”
“I’d like that. I don’t think Dusty is welcome here tonight, so I need to take him home. I live in the bunkhouse on the Circle W.”
“Let me have your phone, we can meet up in thirty minutes?”
Once we exchanged numbers and discussed where I lived, Jacob loaded up Dusty and headed toward the Circle W. I wanted—needed—to talk to Joe, but I wasn’t even sure what to say. After I talked to Jacob, I’d have a better idea about the future.
At my house, my heart still beat too hard. I hoped I wasn’t going to have some sort of cardiac event. Never had I expected this to happen, especially after I had let myself start having feelings for someone else.
My thoughts drifted to Joe. I didn’t even need to talk to him to know he was crushed.
Even though Jacob was here today, I wanted to pull Joe against my chest, kiss his soft lips, and tell him we would figure it out.
The truth of that hit like a brick to the sternum.
Shit. For as long as I could remember, the only man I thought of was Jacob. Today, that wasn’t the case.
I opened the door, and my heart stuttered. He looked amazing, wearing all black, including a black cowboy hat that was a lot cleaner than the one he wore this afternoon.
“Fuck.”
One side of his mouth went up in a partial smile. “That’s an unexpected response, but I will take that as a good thing.”
“You look fantastic. Not going to lie, I’ve seen you in my fantasies exactly like you are now.” I blushed, knowing I had let out a secret I shouldn’t have shared.
“Come in.” I stepped back, and he entered my home. My heart fluttered some more, and I felt hot.
“Thank you. I can’t believe you are right here in front of me.
” He pulled me to him, and I went easily into his arms. We held each other tight for a long time, before long our hearts beat together.
It felt surreal that he was here, but we weren’t teenagers any longer; we were grown men, and I didn’t really know him anymore.
I finally pulled back, my heartbeat returning to normal. “Let’s get to know each other.” I pointed toward the living room, “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll grab us something to drink.”
In my fridge, I pulled out two hard lemonades. It was funny to me that we used to pay double for them at the corner store because we were underage. I never grew out of liking them, and here I was about to share with Jacob. I handed him one.
“Still drinking these?”
“Yeah. Never grew out of it, I guess.”
I settled into the couch, then looked at the man I had loved as a teenager. He was still as handsome as ever, but the differences between us now were more significant. “Tell me what you have been doing for the last twelve years.”
He let out a soft chuckle. I listened while he told me about being a cowboy, and his face lit up when he talked about Dusty the horse and how he raised him from a foal. Somehow, we had ended up sitting with my head on his shoulder, playing with his fingers.
It was wonderful to hear he had found his place in the world. He had been happy but lonely. I recognized the pain because I had seen it in the mirror for years. Sitting like this with him felt natural, like a piece I had lost was found.
As the evening wore on, we would reposition and cuddle, sometimes holding hands, sometimes his hand was on my thigh, and sometimes my head was on his shoulder.
It was a quiet comfort, a familiarity that had lasted even though we hadn’t been together.
He was my first, and there were other men in between, but there had only been one other that touched my heart.
Around 3:00 a.m., I picked up my phone.
DUSTY
I’m going to need the day off.
I didn’t need to ask Montgomery for time off. During the years I worked for him, I took only a few days off. Usually, I worked twenty-four-seven, and this was rare. I decided to include another message.
DUSTY
Can you tell Joe we will talk soon?
He matters to me.
I knew he wouldn’t respond until morning, but I needed to sleep. Jacob walked out of my bathroom wearing a t-shirt and his boxer briefs. I allowed myself to look him over, and my body noticed he was all grown up. I pulled out some sheets and a pillow from the hall closet and handed them to him.
“I’m not working today. Is there any way we can spend it together?” I asked him before going to my room.
He smiled at me. “I’d like that.” He picked up his phone, and I assumed it was to text his boss.
I turned toward my room, then stopped and looked at this man whom I still loved in so many ways. “Jacob?”
“Yeah, Babe?” The familiarity did weird things to me, a shudder going through me.
“I missed you. I’m glad you are here. Sweet dreams.”
“I missed you too. Good night.” He turned and began preparing the couch for sleep.
In my room, I took a minute to feel my feelings—it was a lot. Jacob was here in my house, the man I’ve waited for all these years, yet there was something inside me that pulled me to Joe. I didn’t want to let that go, which made this whole thing even more confusing.
Exhaustion blanketed me, and I fell into a restless sleep.