Chapter 19 GENTRY
Chapter nineteen
GENTRY
I was exhausted. It was hard for me to believe that Dusty, my Dusty, slept in the other room after all these years.
Stranger yet, he worked for my boss’s son.
After we talked last night, it felt like we could be together if we wanted.
The one person I thought was lost to me forever was down the hall.
A hand rubbed my back, and Dusty’s voice told me to wake up. For the last twelve years, my dreams have been like this moment—Dusty waking me up to start my day. Recently, though, my fantasies sometimes had Joe waking me in our bed.
As I opened my eyes, I saw the edge of the coffee table and felt the warmth of someone sitting on the edge of the couch, their hand on my back. He said it again, and everything came back to me in a rush. It wasn’t a dream.
“Dusty? I can’t believe you are really here?”
I heard him snort. “I am. I had a hard time believing it myself when I woke up.”
He kissed the side of my head. “Get up. I’ll make you some food, and we can watch a movie or something. Did your boss get back to you? If he didn’t, you’re late, it’s almost 10:00 a.m.”
I sat up and stretched. Dusty’s eyes watched as my t-shirt raised up enough that he could see my abs. I grabbed my phone and hoped Earl had gotten my message. It surprised me to see a message from Martin Wilson.
“Shit.”
“What’s wrong?” Dusty asked from the kitchen.
“I have a message from Martin Wilson.”
He scrunched up his face.
MARTIN W
Take a few days if needed
I wouldn’t like having to choose.
Well, that was ominous.
“This is probably bad,” I said. Taking my phone to the kitchen, I showed it to Dusty, my hand resting naturally on his hip while he read the message. I left him with my phone while I did my morning business and put on some jeans and a tank top.
It was a little awkward between us, even though there was so much natural familiarity. The contrast between wanting to melt into the man I loved so much and not knowing him made my chest tight.
“Sit.”
I did as I was told, and a plate of food was set before me. My stomach growled as I waited for him to join me at the table.
“Eat up before it’s cold.” I dug in. Memories of us sitting at his dining room table while his mother made us meals flooded back to me.
I had asked about his family last night and was glad to hear they stayed in touch even though he hadn’t really settled into a career until the last few years.
There was one thing we needed to talk about that I hadn’t brought up last night. “So.” He looked up at me. “I don’t know for a fact, but Joe said he had been seeing another guy. Are you that guy?”
He choked. “Warn a guy,” he coughed a few more times and took a sip of juice. “Yeah. I guess I am that guy, he never gave you my name?”
“Joe is discreet. He wouldn’t betray that.” He nodded.
“True. I assumed you were the other guy when you two were with the horses.”
I nodded. In so many ways, I was glad it was Dusty that Joe had been with because he was a wonderful person, and that was what he deserved, but it also made me feel sick because I liked Joe so much.
I looked across the table and saw the man whom I still loved after all this time.
Dusty wore black pajama pants and a half shirt with his abdomen showing—it was firm but not overly muscled— I flexed my hands, staving off the desire to grab him and lick that exposed skin.
I watched him move around his living room.
“Joe is a special man. I can’t imagine what he is thinking. I’ll be honest, though, Montgomery scares the crap out of me.”
Right then, my phone rang. I held it up to Dusty. “Fuck. It’s Martin Wilson.”
“Hello.”
“Gentry. We need to have a little talk.” I looked at Dusty, and everything in me went cold. Was I about to lose my job? “Are you there with Dusty? Put me on speaker phone.”
“Yes, sir. Dusty is here with me.”
I put it on speaker as told. We looked at each other, terrified of what was coming.
“Good. You’re my guy when it comes to semen Gentry. Nobody gets it milked out like you do.”
Oh Jesus. This was not what I had expected to hear. Dusty’s face had about five emotions cross over it before he landed on confused.
“Thank you, Mr. Wilson.”
“Here is the thing. You need to know that I am thrilled you reunited with your special friend, but…” I heard him take a breath.
“Love is a tricky thing. Our hearts are amazing and figure out what’s right for us before our brains understand.
And sometimes the answer isn’t what you would ever expect. ”
I looked at Dusty, and he was even more confused than before. By now, I assumed he knew that Dusty had been spending time with Joe, too. It seemed like his advice was directed at me.
“Well, thank you for that!?”
“What I am saying is pay attention to your heart. Dusty needs to do that, too, the man, not the horse. Listen to your hearts, they will know the best thing to do, even if it’s a surprise. You need to promise me that because I need you to milk those cocks.”
I rubbed the spot between my eyebrows.
“I promise I will listen to my heart.”
“Good, good. I think you will be surprised at what it tells you. Take a few days to talk to both of those men in your life.”
“I’ll need you to help my boys with their releases next week, so get yourself on track.”
“Yes, sir.” I felt like I might pass out, but I got through the conversation.
“And Gentry?” Shit. I knew this was going to be painful.
“Yes.”
“Relax, son, I’m not going to yell at you. These things happen.” I took a deep breath. That sounded promising. “I’d like you to work this out, though, because Joseph is a good young man and my family by marriage.”
“I will do everything I can.” Currently, I couldn’t think of a way to make everyone happy, but it hadn’t been twenty-four hours yet, so a little more time was probably needed.
“Good. Hey, you know those bald eagles that have a nest out in the north pasture?”
“Jack and Janet? Are they okay?”
He made an honest-to-God guffaw. “They are fine, but it appears Chrissy moved in and now there are three of them. They mate for life, you know, which means the three of them will live the rest of their time together. He is guarding both of them while they take turns sitting on the eggs. Who knew three could be happy like that?”
“Yeah. That’s great news. Jack is going to be a busy man with babies and ladies.”
“He’ll have a very full heart, though, and he will be one happy eagle. I’ll let you go, Gentry. Keep in touch with me. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”
I swallowed. “Thank you, Martin. I will.”
The phone disconnected. I sat there quietly for a long time, unsure what to feel about that call.
When I thought of Joe, I felt a weird whoosh inside.
I liked him so much that I knew I was falling in love with him.
I couldn’t look at Dusty because I was afraid that when I did, he would see into my heart, and maybe my feelings for him would be gone.
“Hey.” His words startled me. “That was intense.”
I nodded. “I feel like I’ve disappointed him. He’s been like a father figure to me since I moved here. He’s the one who encouraged me to spend more time with Joe. Martin even paid for me to go with him on the cattle drive at the dude ranch to take care of him.”
Without turning my head, I stood up and walked toward the bathroom with my bag. I wasn’t going to look at Dusty; it would break my heart, and worse, it would break his. When I walked back into the kitchen, I had changed into sweatpants. Dusty was sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone.
“Hey, I am going to go out for a bit. I’ll come back here with groceries.” I looked at the clock. It was nearly 1:00 p.m. “I’ll be back by five and make something for us to eat.”
I didn’t look back and got in my truck. It felt like the world was closing in on me, and it was getting difficult to breathe.
Before I broke down completely, I left the driveway and headed toward a hiking trail I liked to run on.
I parked and made no move to get out. How did this even happen?
For years, I thought about Dusty, everything from being together on a trail ride to making love in our bed.
A month ago, I met such a sweet, wonderful man, and he was everything I had been missing.
The tears surprised me, and then my heart began to ache physically.
Like I had told Dusty, disappointing Martin Wilson sucked.
Oh god, what about Ma? She loved Joe. I put my face in my hands, and the tears became sobs.
I could leave the Circle W, and that would change things.
There were enough ranches in the area that I knew I could get another job.
Since I was the cattle manager on the Circle W, I would be in high demand.
That way, I would leave all of them alone: Dusty, Joe, and the Wilson family.
I got out of the truck and started my run up the trail.
My body fell into the rhythm of my steps, which was good.
Even when my legs started to burn, I kept going, because I needed to punish myself for letting this happen.
Even though it wasn’t intentional, the thought of hurting any of these people was more than I could stand.
I got to the top and sat down. My thoughts drifted to Dusty.
I’m sure he understood how confusing this all was, since he was confused as well.
Leaving Dusty’s house wasn’t kind, but breaking down in front of him wasn’t an option.
It was weird that the piece of my heart that had been empty now felt full, like my other half had come back.
But my thoughts kept going back to Joe. He had filled some of that hole inside me.
He was such a good man, and being with him made me feel special.
Everything in me wanted to protect him, be with him, and soak up the joy and pleasure he offered.
Spending time with him was genuine and fun.
It occurred to me again that I was falling, hell, probably had already fallen, in love with him.
Losing him would shatter me, which was an understatement.
The tears came again, and they slid down my cheeks. I couldn’t bear to think about it because it hurt my heart. When the sun started to set, I realized I was late getting back to Dusty. Shit.
GENTRY
I’m sorry I lost track of time.It’s going to be about another hour. I’ll bring home food.
It was only a few seconds before he responded.
DUSTY
We'll have a nice evening.
GENTRY
Absolutely.
DUSTY
Okay. I’ll see you soon.
My legs were trashed, and I had to hobble my way down the hill.
Fortunately, there was enough light for me to get mostly down the trail, and I only had to use my phone light for the last five minutes.
I decided it was too late to cook, and I owed this man, whom I did love, a nice meal and a lot of conversation.
I ordered steak dinners with a ton of sides and desserts. Way more than we would eat, but enough for him to pick and choose what he wanted. While I waited for the order, I stopped at the grocery store and picked up snacks and drinks.
It was nearly 7:30 p.m. when I pulled up in front of Dusty’s. That little flippy feeling happened in my chest—I was excited to see him. I felt better, and my mind was clearer. Now, I wanted to give Dusty an amazing evening.
When I knocked, Dusty opened the door, genuinely happy to see me.
As soon as I saw his smile, I knew I hadn’t worried him.
He’d known me since we were ten, and when I got upset, I ran until I couldn’t run anymore.
Every time I came back to him, my soul settled, my heart opened, and I would be prepared to face whatever had troubled me.
I placed the bags on the table and opened my arms. He came into them willingly, wrapping around me tightly.
“I’m glad you’re back. Feel better?” He said, with his head against my chest.
“I feel like I am ready to face the future and spend more time with you.” I wiggled my eyebrows.
“Okay then.” We put all the groceries away, then took the to-go bags into the living room. “Get enough food?”
I looked up and blushed. “Never know when we might need sustenance.” Then I really blushed. What made me say that?
Then I looked over at Dusty, and I knew I wanted him—needed him. The need for us to reconnect physically overwhelmed me suddenly, and my cock filled.
“Yup. You never know when your body will need to replenish calories throughout the night.” I inhaled sharply and squeezed his knee. It was going to be a good night; the run had done some good. There were still no answers, but at least I could look at him, and when I did, it took my breath away.
The biggest problem I had at the moment was that I was in love with two men, a situation I never expected to be in.