32. Delia
Thirty Two
Delia
“ S he works in town. Not far from RootBound. Maybe just stop in after work sometime,” Miles says.
I’m on Lyra’s couch in the basement. It’s a nice basement, converted into a hangout space for Lyra and her friends. It’s cozy. Her parents even let us eat our dinner down here together.
I shrug. “I don’t want to ambush her at work.”
“Yeah. I agree. Probably not the best idea,” Lyra says.
“Well then you’re limited to your Sunday dinner or going to Langdon’s house to see her.”
“Uh, about that. I kinda yelled at him today. I don’t think there will be any more Langdon and me moments,” I say. I’ve mulled it over and although I’m disappointed—let’s face it—really bummed out—it’s probably for the best .
“Uh oh, what happened?” Lyra asks.
“He was flirting and he said he liked me. And then got really weird asking me why Danny gave me a ride home and if we messed around and I snapped at him. I pointed out that he acts like I don’t exist in public but is all about me when no one’s looking. He didn’t like that.”
Miles’s jaw hangs slack. “Girl, you didn’t. He is so fine. Why would you do that?”
“Uh, maybe because she has a sliver of self-respect?!” Lyra interjects.
“Please,” Miles says, “self-respect means nothing when you’re dealing with someone that looks like Langdon Nash.”
I giggle. “Are you saying I’m shallow? That it’s only about looks?”
Miles gives me a knowing look. “I’m saying that anyone who has a chance to score with a dude like that, should shut up and take it just for the experience.”
Lyra and I burst out laughing. A chunk of cookie shoots out of her mouth causing the three of us to laugh harder.
When I pull myself together enough to form words I say, “I like Langdon too, and I might not be popular but I’m not a social pariah so I don’t understand why he’s so weird in school. Doesn’t make sense. What’s he hiding?”
“Probably a giant cock,” Miles chuckles and just like that, the three of us are in stitches laughing.
“Well, I’m letting Danny take me out on Friday and that’s that. If Langdon has a problem with that, so be it.”
“We still need to get you to Anna though,” Lyra says.
***
Thursday at school is no different than normal. Langdon refuses to look at me. I push past the urge to look at him, slap a fake smile on my face and avert the disaster that is Langdon and me.
I know the rules of high school. It’s stupid to be vulnerable and ask where we stand but cool to ignore it. If he wants to play the game, so be it.
I’m giving my presentation on the assigned reading and looking everywhere but the back of the room where Langdon sits. I hate public speaking. It makes me nervous.
My papers fluttered slightly in my shaking grasp. And then it comes. The anxiety attack I haven’t had since my last presentation project junior year. My lips stutter and quaver. I can’t shake the sourness in my belly. And I can’t catch my breath. Langdon’s little posse of friends start ribbing me. Laughing and saying ‘t-t-t-today, junior’.
Mr. Dwyer tells them to shut up. Langdon’s eyes catch mine and I crumble. I utterly fall apart—because he’s smirking. I thought over work and Sunday dinner we’d been getting closer but the proof is twenty feet in front of me staring me in the face. Tears stream down my face and I rush out of the class and into the closest girls’ bathroom before locking myself in a stall.
If there were ever a time to show empathy or that he gave a shit, it was two minutes ago and Langdon did neither because his friends were laughing and he’s a spineless dick. I take a moment to collect myself before leaving the stall to splash some cold water on my face.
I am thoroughly embarrassed and have the inclination to call Gramps and tell him I need to come home. I vow to ignore Langdon at all Sunday dinners from here on out. To never speak to him at work again and to rip every page from my journal that mentions his name.
I pat water one last time on my eyes to help the redness subside when the bathroom door opens.
“Oh, so it’s true?” Hailie says with a little laugh. I groan.
“Excuse me?” I say turning to her.
“The texts going around saying you lost your shit in class.”
Ugh. Of course everyone’s talking to everyone else. I stand up straight and smooth out my shirt.
“Guess so,” I say.
Hailie stands by the door. I clutch the papers to my chest and attempt to head out.
“You know he was using you right?” She says when I’m next to her, palm on the door to open it.
“There was a rumor going around that you were easy, and Lang wanted to find out. He’d never actually go for a girl like you.”
My instinct is to start crying again but I stave it off, instead channeling all my pent-up rage .
Anger at Langdon.
Rage at my mother.
All my unanswered questions about my life. I drop my papers as my hands clench into fists at my sides.
“Weird, rumor has it he won’t go for you either.” I cock my head at her. “Maybe we should start a club.” I push my shoulder past her, partially opening the door.
“You bitch!” Hailie spits.
She lunges at me but I’m on a roll, feeling all the feelings I’ve shoved aside for the last month. As she pushes into me, we fall through the bathroom door into the hall.
She’s a wild, screeching mess of arms and nails. The bell rings and kids start to tumble into the hallway. I plant my feet apart as she swings at me, wind back and clock her square in the nose.
Blood immediately begins gushing from it. Suddenly, the building is too loud. Hoots and whoops and hollers fill the space around me. Hailie is gasping and crying. A weird mix of tears and blood leaking from her face and all I can do is stare as she desperately tries to staunch the blood flow. Two large hands clamp down on my shoulders and steer me away from the carnage.
“Oh shit. OH SHIT!” Niko half screams half laughs. My eyes come into focus and I snap out of my stupor. He looks like a dog doing the tippy tap happy dance. All amped up.
“Niko, stop. Go help Hailie. ”
It’s Langdon.
I crane my neck to look up at him, still feeling dazed. Niko clocks him on the shoulder and takes off down the hall while Langdon keeps moving us at a fast clip. A flutter of panic sweeps through me. He pushes me into the boy’s locker room.
One bulb is brighter than the others and it irritates me. A mental image floats across my mind. Me and Mom when I was a kid, arms out to their sides, twirling in endless circles across the yard, pretending to be butterflies. I really want my mom.
I burst out crying. Langdon’s arms encase me, squeezing. I launch a couple sobs directly into his chest. He keeps shushing me and saying everything is ok.
I pull back and look up at him. He looks confused, sweet, and a little shocked. I snake my hands behind his neck and lower his mouth to mine. His lips are soft and full, and I feel a jolt of electricity at the contact. I shouldn’t be kissing him, but I can’t help myself.
All the noise, all the storms swirling in my head and around us, just fades into nothing when our lips meet.
He kisses me back with intensity. It feels deliberate like he can erase the whole world with just this moment between us. He kisses me like he’s trying to save me from something. His hot breath against my skin sends shivers down my spine .
The loudspeaker announces that I am to report to the principal’s office immediately. I pull back from Langdon, still heaving with adrenaline.
“I’m in deep shit,” I say.
Langdon bursts out laughing.