Chapter 9 #2
The quietness in the room subsequent to Richard’s hasty departure was nothing in comparison to the silence that accompanied Darcy and Elizabeth on their walk to the garden.
The farther they walked, the more she considered the odd confluence of events of late.
She had sensed him pulling away gradually, and now he was leaving.
Elizabeth thought back to the self-satisfied look upon Caroline Bingley’s face her last night at Avondale when she informed Elizabeth that she would find Mr. Darcy on the balcony.
No doubt she was the one who poisoned his thoughts against me.
That was over a week ago, and he has been behaving aloof and taciturn ever since.
His cousin’s coming here affords him a most convenient excuse to do that which he has been planning all along.
As they had been walking for a time and he had yet to offer an explanation for the sudden turn of events, Elizabeth put forth her own.
“It has occurred to me that your regard for me has lessened appreciably since you learned about my family.” She raised her head in defiance.
“You would never admit it, but I cannot help thinking it is true. Now your own relation has arrived in Bosley, and you are prepared to take your leave the very next day.”
He bestowed a look of utter astonishment.
“I shall not ascribe to the sentiments you describe as being my own, and I certainly shall not account for them as though they were.” Darcy felt his patience waning.
He had expected her to be disappointed, but certainly had not expected to defend his decision to leave.
When did he ever have to justify any of his actions to anyone?
Frustration crept into his speech. “You talk as if I wish to be parted from you when it is simply not true. This is how it is, Elizabeth. My plans were fixed long before we met. You cannot imagine how many times I have delayed my departure already so I might continue to see you each day. As soon as my business is done, I shall return to Bosley—to you.”
“To me, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth huffed. “Do you suppose I am one of your possessions?”
“I never said you were. Why would you even suggest such a thing?”
“Then why treat me as such … as if I were a possession that you might place on a shelf while you attend to other diversions with the expectation that you will find said prize just where you left it when it suits you.”
“Those are your sentiments, not mine. You reside here in Bosley. Is it unreasonable for me to assume that you will be here when I return?”
“You talk as if you plan to have me sit idly by the window and patiently await your return.”
“No—not idly; I suppose you might do any number of things: read, walk, paint screens … whatever accomplished young women do.”
Wanting to erase the pain of disappointment from her eyes, Darcy reached out for her, but she jerked away. “Do not touch me!”
“Elizabeth, you are not being fair.” He raked his fingers through his hair and breathed a beleaguered sigh. His voice was heavy with emotion. “Am I to disregard all my prior commitments? I have obligations that demand that I leave.”
“Of course, you must do what you must to satisfy your obligations and prior commitments, sir, but why did you make no mention of either of these things before? When you spoke of foregoing the London Season, you led me to believe you were to remain here in Bosley.”
“I can see there is no reasoning with you on this matter. The fact is I have changed my plans.”
Elizabeth sucked in several deep breaths in an attempt to reclaim her equanimity.
Feelings akin to those she suffered when she lost her beloved sister Jane began to encroach upon her.
For a while, Mr. Darcy had made her forget what it was like to suffer such heartache.
She was beginning to cast off the cloak she had woven in order that she might endure the pain of losing her sister.
With him, she had been willing to open her heart—to trust.
For months after losing her dear sister, she had promised she would never suffer a similar pain again.
What better way to protect oneself against the pain of heartbreak than never to expose one’s heart at all?
Recognising that she had been on the verge of surrendering her heart to Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth was relieved it had not got that far.
She desperately wanted to believe that it was better that she had insisted upon protecting her heart even though her heart was whispering a different refrain.
I will not debate this matter with him. I do not need this. Mr. Darcy made me no promises. If I trusted him, it is merely a sign of my weakness and lack of steadfastness to my own resolve. Her disappointment was evident, and she was angry with herself because of it.
She started feeling constricted. Oh, how I hate feeling this way!
Escaping Mr. Darcy’s presence was as essential as her need to breathe.
She turned away from him and immediately was startled by the touch of his hand on her arm.
She shuddered. “Pray leave me alone!” Without pausing for even a moment to look back at him, she walked away.
Hours later, Richard found Darcy pacing the floor of his apartment. Darcy halted in his tracks and looked daggers at the older man. “You must allow me to thank you for blurting out our plans to leave Bosley to Miss Bennet.”
Richard threw his hands in the air. Cynicism rather than contrition marred his speech, “I take it the course of true love did not run smoothly after I took my leave.”
“Miss Bennet was livid, and nothing I could say reversed the damage done in having learned of my plans in such an abrupt manner. She somehow thought that I had been keeping my plans a secret from her. She accused me as much. I do not recall ever seeing her so disappointed.”
“It seems a capricious response to me. Are you sure it was not fuelled by those matters of a feminine nature. I have come to expect those periods and a lady’s excitability to go hand in hand.”
Darcy blew out a long breath. “How on earth you suppose that I would be privy to such a thing is beyond me.”
“A man ought to know such things about the woman he plans to marry.”
“After the wedding, perhaps.” Exasperated with Richard’s cavalier attitude, Darcy threw his hands in the air. “Why am I even discussing such a delicate matter with you, Brutus? The fact is, she is young, and she wants what she wants when she wants it. She has not learned temperance.
“Once she has time to consider it, she will understand that my leaving has nothing to do with any sort of lessened regard for her. I shall call on her before we leave tomorrow.” Darcy headed towards the door.
“Where are you off to now?”
“I must see Lord Holland.” Darcy could only imagine what his friend would say about his precipitous plans, especially if he learned of the argument with Elizabeth.
Lord Holland’s words hounded him: We both know it is solely a matter of time before you do take your leave—rendering the young woman broken-hearted, and when you do, I promise I will be here to pick up the pieces and help mend it back together.
The next morning, as Elizabeth and her aunt were sitting together in the dining-room, their attention was suddenly drawn to the window by the sound of a carriage.
They perceived a chaise and four driving up the lane.
Curious as to who would be calling at such an early hour, Elizabeth went to the window to command a better view as well as satisfy both of their curiosities.
Elizabeth recognised the vehicle’s crest and immediately drew herself away from the window.
“Mr. Darcy!” Having now decided that it was better that things had turned out as they had before her heart was truly engaged, he was the last person in the world she wished to see.
Heaven forbid that a few well-spoken sentiments on his part might weaken her resolve.
“Pardon me, Lady Vanessa, but I find I am ill equipped to receive guests. Please, make whatever excuse you deem necessary in explaining my absence.” She hurried out the door and sped up the stairs.
When Darcy was shown into the room, he greeted her ladyship cordially.
She was equally as cordial. “Mr. Darcy, it is a pleasure seeing you this morning, albeit an unexpected one, but a pleasure nonetheless.”
“Your ladyship, as you heard my cousin say, he and I are taking our leave today.”
“No doubt you are anxious to arrive in Kent ahead of the upcoming race. Which of your beautiful bays will be running?”
“Perseus will do the honours, your ladyship. He is stabled in Kent” Not intent to engage in small talk a second longer, Darcy cleared his throat. “It is my ardent wish to speak with Miss Bennet before I leave.”
Her ladyship threw a cursory glance about the room. “As you can see, sir, Elizabeth is not here.”
“Do you suppose she took a walk?” He looked at his watch. “I am familiar with all her favourite lanes. I believe I will seek her out if that does not meet with any objections.”
“Actually, sir, Elizabeth is upstairs in her apartment. Furthermore, my niece is aware you are here. She saw you coming. I am afraid she does not wish to see you. Perhaps you had better take your leave. In fact, I insist you do not delay your departure a second longer.”
Darcy’s astonishment in her attempt to dismiss him could not be repressed. “Pardon me, your ladyship. I simply want to assure her—”
She held up her hand. “Mr. Darcy, let us not quarrel over the matter. The fact is there will always be another race.”