7. Ryker
RYKER
I can’t fucking run away every time I get pissed. But running is better than snapping. I can't afford to let my temper get me into trouble. My mouth is still slammed shut. I slow down as I approach a red light and look down at my hands to examine them. It’s a habit of mine that helps me calm down. There’s usually oil somewhere around my fingernails even if I scrub them clean. I don’t see anything though.
I look over to my left at the kids in their little fairy and skeleton costumes screeching with delight, and then to my right at a 24/7 convenience store and gas station. I shouldn’t be driving right now, not in this state. I just need to calm down for a minute. I pull in and park my bike, but I don’t get off.
I’m not very good with conflict. I’m better than I used to be. Back then it was fight, fight, fight. Not that I wanted to fight that bitch.
I don’t know what her problem was. It’s been years since someone’s talked to me like that. It still fucking hurts though. It wasn’t even to my face, but at least it wasn’t behind my back.
I thought I’d changed. I have changed. I know I have. I’m good enough for her. But either Catherine can’t see it, or she doesn’t want to.
He needs to leave now. I remember Khloe’s words and they get me all pissed off again. That’s when the memories hit me. Khloe’s the chick who was dating that IT guy I hired.
I groan and cover my face with my hands.
Her being a bitch tonight is definitely because of me, but it has nothing to do with who I am.
She came into the office of my shop awhile back. I knew she was with him. I think his name was Joey. I can’t even remember. I only hired him for a week to set up the new system. She came in at lunch to see him every day. And each passing day she showed me more and more attention. So much so that I felt bad for the guy.
And then she came into my office and closed the door behind her. I can’t remember what she said verbatim, but she basically offered me a quick fuck.
All I said to her was, You can leave now unless you want me to call your boyfriend in here and repeat what you just said . I never saw her again. Not that I minded. But now her little rant makes sense.
A smile creeps up on my face. She’s just holding a grudge and jealous I was giving Catherine attention.
I feel a small bit of relief, but only for a moment.
Catherine’s gonna be pissed at me for leaving maybe. But she still didn’t stick up for me.
That’s what really matters. She could have, but she didn’t.
She turned me down. Well technically she didn’t,since I never even asked.
I went there to finally get the girl I’ve been lusting after. The girl I've been working hard to be good enough for. It's been two years, but I've been working steadily toward that goal. And as soon as it got rough, I walked away.
Fuck. I run a hand down my face. I can’t believe I fucked this up.
My forehead pinches and I kick my bike back to life. The loud rumble fills the air as I make a left out of the gas station and head back to the party.
I’m tired of not being good enough. I want her.
I’m going to make sure she knows it.
As determination sets in and I rev my bike up, I almost crash the damn thing.
Catherine’s alone and on the left side of the road. Her arms are crossed like she’s cold, and she looks upset.
My heart sinks in my chest. What happened?
I have to wait to make a U-turn at the next light and pull up behind her.
I left her, again.
I need to make sure she forgives me. I need to make this right and most importantly, I need to get my girl.