Chapter Thirty-Six
Gavin
Gavin pressed his head against Ben’s chest, standing in the hallway outside Tina’s door. They’d stayed for a few minutes after the baby was born, but when the doctor started to stitch Tina up, that was their cue to leave. “That was intense,” Gavin whispered as Ben tightened his arms around him.
“Yeah it was.” Ben laughed softly and kissed Gavin’s hair. “Pretty fucking amazing.”
“Right?” Gavin lifted his head and searched Ben’s face. He looked awestruck, lost for words. “She did good.” He knew she would, but he’d had no idea what it would be like up close and personal. Hearing stories and watching videos didn’t even touch the reality of what Tina had gone through.
Ben let out a deep breath and said, “She blew me away in there.”
“Me too.” Gavin rose up on his tiptoes and kissed Ben, small and quick, just a touch of their lips together. With a laugh, he added, “If we do decide to have kids, we’re adopting one that’s already born. No way am I asking someone to go through that on purpose.”
“Right?” Ben said with a tired-sounding laugh. “Never would I ever.”
He let Ben pull him close again, the two of them leaning against the wall together as strangers rushed by them. A patient shuffled past, breathing hard, one hand on an IV pole and the other on her lower back. Gavin wanted to warn her. He wanted to tell her to just let them knock her out, sleep until the baby was ready to graduate. In the end, he just glanced at Ben again. “Hey,” he whispered. “We’re uncles.”
Ben grinned at him before resting his chin on the top of Gavin’s head. “Again.”
Yeah, true. He was an uncle to Anna’s kids, but they’d already been born by the time he and Ben got together. This felt different. Not that he loved the others any less, but something about being there from the start, maybe even something about sharing some blood with Tina’s baby, just made it feel more… more.
The doctor came out then, and Gavin pulled back. “She doing okay?”
“They’re both fine,” he said, smiling. “You can go back in now.”
Gavin didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed Ben by the hand and led him back into Tina’s room.
Nora sat next to Tina’s bed—she wasn’t afraid of a few stitches—holding the baby. “He’s just perfect.”
Tina looked awful, with her hair matted down on her face, her skin blotchy and purple in places. Her eyes were closed, and Gavin wasn’t sure if she was napping.
“Do I get to hold him?” he whispered to Nora.
“Of course you get to hold him,” Tina said, only lifting one eyelid, her smile weak but happy.
Gavin sat on the edge of her bed as Nora passed his nephew to him. “He’s so tiny.” Just holding something so small felt precarious, and Gavin thought he’d never been so careful in his entire life.
“He didn’t feel so tiny,” Tina said. Her voice sounded raw, paper-thin.
Ben stood close to Tina and passed her a cup of water. She leaned forward and took a long sip before falling back on the pillows.
“Have you picked a name?” Ben asked, tugging her blanket up higher around her, as if he were tucking her in for the night.
Tina looked hesitant at first, biting her lip as she lifted her head. “Well, I… I want to name him James—maybe call him Jimmy? Or Jaime? But I wasn’t sure if… I know that’s Ben’s dad’s name, and if you guys ever have kids—”
Ben nodded, grinning. “No, that would be…”
“Lovely,” Nora finished for him.
Gavin looked down at the baby—James—and whispered, “Welcome to the family, little man.”