Ben
He’d already shared too much with Gavin. Not just tonight but nearly every night since they met. Gavin knew more about him than most of his friends, more than his family too, but that was only because there are things you just can’t tell your mother or sister.
knew he was in deep enough already. He should let go of Gavin—literally and figuratively—and move on, let them both move on.
That didn’t feel like an option, though.
He tightened his hold on Gavin and dipped his head, brushing his stubbled cheek next to Gavin’s smooth, soft skin. “I don’t have a routine,” he whispered. When Gavin pulled back, just enough to see his face, added, “And even if I did, I doubt I could think clearly enough around you to use it.”
The look he got for that simple, somewhat painful admission was worth all the cold showers and cheap hookups he’d had over the past several months. Gavin’s eyes widened with surprise, and a smile tugged at his lips, but mostly, he stared in disbelief.
Yeah, totally worth it.
Fighting his own smile, asked quietly, “You sure you aren’t hungry?”
Gavin blinked once, slowly, then again. “I… What?”
They were still dancing, shuffling their feet in a clumsy box step, almost a waltz, but not quite. pulled him closer. “Want me to make you something?” He really did need to eat more.
A sweet flush crept up Gavin’s pale skin, spreading over his neck to his cheeks. “No, I…” He breathed out a laugh and buried his face against ’s shoulder. “That’s not what I thought you were going to ask.”
slipped his hand between them, tucked his fingers under Gavin’s chin, and tilted his face up. He traced his thumb against Gavin’s lower lip and smiled when Gavin looked him in the eye. “I hoped I wouldn’t have to ask for anything else.”
Not saying anything at first, Gavin stopped moving.
could feel the sharp intake of his breath, maybe even a small tremor running through Gavin’s slight frame, as if his blood thrummed too hard in his veins.
“You don’t,” he whispered against the touch of ’s thumb.
A first kiss shouldn’t feel like a do-or-die moment, but it did. knew if he did what he wanted to, there was no going back. No matter what happened afterward, he couldn’t undo it—for better or worse. Maybe knowing that should’ve made it harder, but held Gavin’s eye for one more moment, considered all the rights and wrongs for the span of a heartbeat, and then he leaned in and touched his lips to Gavin’s.
Gavin
Gavin didn’t know what he’d expected—fireworks, maybe? Spontaneous orgasm?—but instead, all he could think about was how perfectly right his world suddenly seemed. When he inhaled, pushed his tongue gently into Gavin’s mouth and made a sound Gavin had never heard before, not from anyway. Something close to a growl, all heat and want, maybe even desperation. Then Gavin was sure. All this time, all those lingering looks, all those slight touches, all the concern—it wasn’t all in his head. Gavin hadn’t been living off wishful thinking.
wanted him, maybe even more than Gavin had hoped.
Spontaneous orgasm didn’t seem all that unlikely when slipped his hands lower, running over Gavin’s ass and then suddenly lifting him up. Gavin gasped and broke the kiss, unable to stop the grin on his face as he wrapped his legs around ’s hips. He fit nicely against ’s solid frame, felt secure as made his way down the hall to the bedroom.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Gavin had expected to be settled gently onto the mattress, like a maiden on her wedding night. When nearly tossed him onto the middle of the bed, Gavin’s laugh was loud and surprised.
“You’re heavier than you look,” teased him as he kicked off his shoes and leaned over Gavin. “And you’re wearing way too many clothes.”
took care of that problem faster than Gavin thought possible. Within seconds, had stripped him, leaving light, tickling kisses over every inch of exposed skin. Gavin’s muscles jumped under ’s warm breath, the feel of his scruffy stubble, the nip of his teeth. Goose bumps rose with every touch, and he couldn’t stop a cursed whimper when ’s cheek grazed his cock.
With a gentle touch, pushed Gavin’s legs back, spreading his thighs so he could get closer. When slid lower, trailing his tongue over Gavin’s balls, Gavin dropped his hand into ’s hair. He twisted his fingers in, tugged gently, and then stilled. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he could feel smile against his skin.
“If you don’t stop, you’re gonna make me come before you even take off your shirt,” Gavin whispered, panting lightly, even as dipped his head farther down and slid his tongue over Gavin’s entrance. “Shit.” The head of his cock was already slick with precome, smearing against his stomach with every shift of his hips. When pushed his tongue inside, Gavin shuddered, his bare feet resting against ’s shoulders, toes curling.
They were in uncharted territory now. Gavin had given his share of blowjobs, received plenty too, but this? The feel of ’s tongue pushing deeper, slick and warm, ’s fingers spreading him open, giving him better access, it was damn near too much. At the same time, it wasn’t quite enough.
didn’t stop at first, when Gavin muttered his name, but when Gavin twisted his fingers tighter into ’s hair and tugged again, lifted his head. His breath rushed out in harsh pants, his lips wet as he nuzzled against Gavin’s inner thigh before asking, “You okay?”
“Yeah, just…” Okay wasn’t really the right word. Fantastic, maybe. Terrified, definitely. “Just wanted you to kiss me,” he whispered, unable to get enough air into his lungs to move the words with any more conviction. Not that he was lying. He just wasn’t telling the whole truth, either.
“I was kissing you.” Amusement lit up ’s deep brown eyes. As he shifted over Gavin, he left a trail of playful kisses over his stomach and chest, his shoulders, his neck, and finally, Gavin’s mouth.
Gavin fisted his hand into ’s T-shirt, tangling his other into ’s hair as he pulled over him. The rough denim of ’s jeans brushed against his skin, almost painful against his erection until he was able to wiggle and shift slightly higher, wrap himself around ’s body.
Apparently, the way he moved did something for because Gavin got a deep moan from him as kissed him harder. He pulled back with a sharp breath and looked into Gavin’s eyes, trailing his fingertips up the side of Gavin’s face and into his hair. “If you end up giving me a heart attack tonight, just know that I’m going to my grave happy.”
Laughing, Gavin tugged at ’s shirt as he tried to push it up higher, wanting it off. “I’ll be sure and tell the paramedics that as they roll you off me.”
pulled back onto his knees and reached his hand over his shoulder so he could pull his shirt off. “Mention it in the eulogy too.” He tossed the shirt aside and then paused as Gavin trailed a hand over his chest.
Gavin couldn’t look away. He’d never seen naked before, only little hints of different tattoos on his arms or creeping out from under his shirt or the top of his jeans when he stretched. “I’ve never seen all your ink.” Nearly every inch was covered in dark lines, filled in with bright, beautiful colors.
quirked an eyebrow, his expression only slightly smug, amused. “Should I turn off the lights so you’re not distracted?”
Unable to say anything, Gavin only shook his head in answer, still mapping out every image with his fingers, as if he could read the story they were trying to tell. When the pictures drifted lower, into the top of ’s jeans, Gavin followed, tugging the buttons on ’s fly until they slowly popped open one by one. He slid his hands against ’s skin and pushed his jeans down.
God, there were tattoos everywhere.
shifted over him again, and it only took Gavin a second to realize he was pushing his jeans off, kicking them to the floor along with his socks. No underwear. Why was that such a turn-on?
The ink on ’s body sprawled down his legs, even covered the tops of his feet. One of the few bare areas was just past his hip bones in the dark thatch of hair around his cock. Gavin trailed his fingertip in a smooth line up ’s shaft and glanced up to see his face. closed his eyes, and Gavin could feel him shudder. “Nothing here?”
With a laugh, leaned in and caught Gavin’s mouth in another kiss. “No,” he whispered, kissing Gavin again before shifting against him, fitting himself between Gavin’s thighs and grinding his hips against him. “Some hurt more than others, but I’m not interested in finding out how much that would hurt.”
Gavin released a breath in a quick rush, part whimper and part groan as rocked against him, their slick erections sliding together between them. “Fair point,” he whispered, hearing the tremor in his own voice.
When reached over him, pulling the drawer on his nightstand open and coming back with a condom and a bottle of lube, Gavin figured it was time for his big reveal. “Hey, um.” On the scale of awkward admissions, being a virgin barely registered. It wasn’t like he was about to tell he was into varsity-level kink or anything, right? “Just so ya know, I mean…”
Curiosity and (always) concern registered on ’s face as he stilled, holding his weight off Gavin with one elbow on the mattress. He didn’t say anything, only waited for Gavin to go on.
“I haven’t, like… I mean, I’ve done stuff, obviously, but I’ve never…”
“Bottomed?”
Relief washed through Gavin when finished his sentence so plainly for him. “Right. Or topped, for that matter.” Gavin bit his lip and watched ’s face, trying to read his expressions. He didn’t have much luck because simply looked at him, as if he’d forgotten where they were headed and was trying to remember.