Ben
Well. If he hadn’t felt like a dirty old man before, he would now. “Okay,” whispered roughly. He knew there was probably a better response, but he couldn’t think beyond the one simple word. He searched his memory, going over the mental list of his first sexual experiences. Not the actual first, because that was painful and awkward and unsatisfying. Two bumbling teens, groping and rutting against each other. No lube, no condoms, and no clue.
But later—years later—it had gotten better. had found different men in every corner of the country. Teachers, lovers, friends. He learned his own body, learned what he liked and what he didn’t like, what he could put up with for someone, and what he absolutely couldn’t be bothered to do.
Leaning closer, brushed a kiss against Gavin’s mouth as he trailed his hand lower and wrapped his fingers around Gavin’s cock with a slow stroke. “We’re not gonna do anything you don’t wanna do tonight, all right?”
Gavin inhaled against his mouth and then dropped his head to the pillow. “I know,” he whispered. His bright blue eyes only held trust as he looked at , and wasn’t that enough to tip things over the edge?
“I didn’t say I don’t want to. I just thought you should know.”
nodded as he stroked Gavin’s cock in a loose grip, trailing his thumb over the slick crown until Gavin gasped.
“You should probably stop that, though.”
Gavin dropped his hand to cover ’s, and nearly laughed even as he leaned in for another kiss. “I’ll take care of you.” His words were a whispered promise, and if Gavin was paying attention—and the kid seemed like he was always paying attention—he hopefully understood everything meant. Taking care of Gavin was all he wanted to do. Not just tonight, not just in bed. He wanted Gavin someplace safe and well-fed, someplace he could call home.
When Gavin gave him a tentative smile, slipped his free hand over ’s shoulder and pulled him closer, brushed his lips against Gavin’s neck and inhaled deeply.
“You’ve been taking care of me since the first night we met.” Gavin’s words were barely audible, hesitant, as if he was connecting the dots in his head, puzzling out an answer he was afraid of—or maybe afraid to hope for.
“When you let me,” countered. He hoped the tease was clear in his tone. Gavin didn’t make things easy for him on any level. Even when he really needed something, Gavin would often reject it outright when it was offered. More than once, had to insist and leave no room for arguments. “So let me take care of you tonight.” He punctuated the words with one more steady stroke over Gavin’s cock before letting go.
Gavin let out a shaky breath and nodded. His skin flushed beautifully as reached for the lube and slicked his fingers.
“It’ll hurt,” whispered, kissing Gavin again. “I can’t take that away, but I can make it easier.”
“I know,” Gavin told him, letting out a small gasp as slid his finger against the tight ring of muscle, pushing in and pulling out in slow, easy motions. “I’m not totally clueless, just…” His voice caught on another sharp breath, almost a laugh, as he went on. “Just new.”
took his time. He watched every small expression flit across Gavin’s face, watched the way Gavin’s muscles pulled and twitched all over his lithe body. He couldn’t remember ever using so much lube on a guy, but every time he thought Gavin might be ready, he decided to wait a little longer.
Maybe, if he were honest with himself, he was just scared shitless.
By the time Gavin looked ready to fly apart, had decided to just get him off like that—fingers, tongue, mouth. He figured he could push Gavin over the edge with nothing more than a quick stroke over the head of Gavin’s cock. His own erection ached to be inside Gavin, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. At least, he didn’t think he could. But when Gavin whimpered his name and muttered a simple please, didn’t have much of a choice.
He nearly fumbled the condom more than once, could barely get the damn thing open with his shaking hands, but he finally managed to get it on. Then he froze. Gavin stared at him with his bright, trusting eyes. A look of impatience mingled with something close to terror in his expression, but he reached for anyway.
Chewing the inside of his cheek, closed himself around Gavin. He knew he should turn him over, get him into an easier position, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. All he wanted was to hold Gavin, watch his face when he came, see if he could read Gavin’s thoughts, sense his needs.
And wasn’t that a ridiculous idea? Being with Gavin was going to turn him into a mind reader?
And a poet, apparently. Because this? Touching the head of his cock against Gavin’s entrance, pushing in and pulling back when he gasped, Gavin’s skin flushing so prettily, his eyes widening, his muscles tensing and then easing so could push in again. It deserved a fucking sonnet. A love song.
Burying himself deep inside Gavin felt like a goddamn masterpiece in the making.
Gavin
Gavin had been so close to the edge before even got the condom on he’d expected it to be a little… less painful? He’d at least thought it would be easy, if not the best feeling of his life.
He was wrong, at least at first.
’s tenderness and achingly slow motions were an unintentional torture. There came a point where—fully committed and unwilling to say, “Never mind, just kidding!”—all Gavin wanted was to get it over with. He wanted to move faster, harder against him. If he couldn’t get off tonight, maybe could, at least. Maybe if they hurried it along, Gavin could go take a warm shower and then sit on an ice pack until the morning came. Then he could tuck his bruised ego away with his bruised ass and go back to blowjobs.
“You okay?” ’s voice teetered on anguish, but he managed the words. “Need me to go slower, baby?”
Baby. God. Gavin did love that. usually reserved that one for when he was especially drunk and they were talking on the phone in the middle of the night. Or, once, only a couple of months earlier when Gavin had turned up on his doorstep, shivering, crying. He’d been to see his mom, tried again to get her to even look at him. That had ended like most things with his mother ended: badly. had been the only person in the world he’d felt like seeing that night. Thankfully, he had opened his door and then pulled Gavin in for a warm, tight hug.
But wait. Slower? God no.
With his jaw clenched tight, grinding his teeth together, it was hard to get the words out. “Need more, . Please.”
If it was ever going to end, he needed more. Didn’t actually want more, but he couldn’t tell that.
Gavin closed his eyes when growled against his neck and thrust in deep and hard. Pain shot through him again, his body tensed, and he held his breath. Then shifted his weight, pushed Gavin’s legs farther back, and drove in with one steady push, and everything changed.
Every move made seemed to wake up a different nerve ending in Gavin. In a good way, surprisingly enough. Where the pain had seemed endless, the fullness too much to take, all of a sudden, it was all he wanted. His body was alive for what felt like the first time, pulsing with sparks of heat that chased down his spine, lit up his fingers, his toes. His balls tightened, and his cock started to take an interest again. Which Gavin had thought was a thing of the past. A moment earlier, he didn’t think he’d ever get hard again. Now, as built a heavy rhythm, as his breath beat against Gavin’s skin, as their bodies grew hot and slick with sweat, Gavin started to wonder why the hell he’d thought this was a bad idea.
pulled back again, catching Gavin’s eye when Gavin looked at him. “Better?” he asked, and Gavin couldn’t even nod, couldn’t say a word. All that came out was a sharp grunt when thrust into him again. He bit his lips between his teeth and moaned into his closed mouth. “I’ll take that as a yes,” whispered, staying just as he was, grinding his hips in quick, short strokes.
Gavin reached a hand up to ’s shoulder. He splayed his pale fingers against the patterns, the story of ’s life, and it seemed perfect, a different kind of art. Like Gavin could blend in there, weave himself into ’s rich history, his colorful world.
Another harsh groan slipped from ’s mouth with another heavy thrust, and Gavin lost track of everything else. When said, “Stroke yourself,” in his rough, deep voice, Gavin didn’t have to think. He simply dropped his hand from ’s shoulder and wrapped his fingers around his cock. ’s brow furrowed, and he muttered something that sounded a lot like so fucking beautiful, and then they were both climbing higher, getting closer to the edge together.
Only a few minutes passed before Gavin’s world narrowed to the porn-worthy sound of skin slapping on skin. Their bodies hot and slick, their voices raising in gasps and moans, until finally, drove in just hard enough in just the right spot at just the right second. Gavin grazed his thumb over the head of his cock, and he was coming between them, spilling out white heat as he muttered ’s name.
Maybe that was what had been waiting for. Gavin thought so, because as his body thrummed with release, as he shuddered through it, offered one last heavy thrust, and then he stilled. His face froze for a moment, his voice sounding harsh, ruined as he cried out and then, finally, collapsed on Gavin.
The weight of ’s body was more comforting than he’d expected, and the hot rush of ’s breath against his ear sent another shudder through Gavin. Then he heard, “Christ, I love you.”
Gavin’s eyes flew open in surprise. was wrapped around him, holding him tight, still inside him. Gavin looked up at the ceiling, the room framed against ’s shoulder. For a moment, he tried to decide if had actually said it or if he’d imagined it. The whole night was starting to feel like some kind of dark magic, a gift from ancient gods to make up for a shitty life. Then, after a few more seconds passed and Gavin decided it might be real, he tried to decide if he should say anything. He’d been in love with since the first time smiled at him, but he’d never admitted it to anyone. The idea alone made him feel like he was too young to throw the word around.
Thankfully, didn’t seem to need a response. Or maybe he was trying to pretend he’d never said anything because when he pulled back, he looked at Gavin like he always did. His brown eyes were lit up with tenderness, his smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and then he leaned in and kissed Gavin soundly before he slowly pulled out.