Chapter 12
twelve
Ainsley
A fter my freak-out this morning, which led me incredibly close to running away, changing my name, and never returning to my current life, I got a grip and came back—with cake pops.
I’ve spent most of the last four years trying to forget what kissing Lachlan West is like, and this time it was even better.
And worse.
Because now I have a new memory to rattle around in my stupid brain for years, hating that I’ll never have more of it. I have a new taste and smell to obsess over. He’s pretty much ruined mint and chocolate for me, thanks to the cookies we were eating.
Now every time I have freaking ice cream, I’m going to think of his lips.
He’s ruining everything for me.
And I hate him for it.
We just dropped Rose off and I’m doing my absolute best to be normal.
Whatever that means.
“How long will your practice last?” I ask, breaking the awkward silence that has been building in the thirty seconds since she left .
“About an hour. What about your meeting with Everett?”
“My interview could be an hour or more. Depends on how forthcoming he is and what we discuss.”
I’m hoping I can get a good backstory on each of the four guys. Then I can build off a similarity between them.
“You know this story of yours isn’t going to work?”
I sigh. “That’s what you keep saying. You also know I don’t need you for this story, right? I can very easily call your dad and talk to him. He was a huge part of your college career.”
Lachlan snorts. “Yeah, what he thought he could gain.”
I hate that, even after these four years, Lachlan and his father still haven’t found a way through their past issues. When his mother died, Lachlan blamed him. If his father had cared about her, been there for her, not let her basically fall apart when he left, then she’d be around.
“You should talk to him, Lachlan,” I urge gently.
He turns his head to me. “No.”
I wait a second, trying to think of the right things to say. Lachlan’s father and mine are close friends. I’ve heard conversations that weren’t mine to hear, but I know how much his father aches for her. How much he misses her and how much he blames himself without the addition of Lachlan’s rage.
“I know you’re angry and I get it, I really do, but I think he tried. I think he loved your mother and wanted her to get better, but ...” I stop when I see the way he grips the wheel. I can’t fix this. I shouldn’t even try. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
His fingers loosen just a touch. “I was there, Ainsley. I lived in that house and saw how much he tried .”
“You’re right. My perspective is skewed.”
He lets out a long breath. “You’ve always wanted to fix the world, but some things just can’t be repaired. They’re too broken, and that relationship was buried alongside her.”
I reach out, resting my hand on his arm. “She loved you very much. I remember her telling me when she brought over my birthday cake each year. ”
Isabelle West thought her son hung the moon. That boy could do no wrong in her eyes, and I understood her, since it was the same in my book.
She was the kindest woman, but she struggled so much with depression, and when she found out she had cancer, she decided to give up. Ultimately, it was like when that choice was made, she was just done.
I was at the house with my family when Lachlan was told. I heard the screams and absolute agony as he raged about his father not doing enough. It broke every part of my heart, seeing him fall apart.
Lachlan takes my hand in his for a moment before releasing it. “She loved to bake for every kid in the neighborhood, but most especially you.”
“She was so good at it, and I loved her.”
His mother made the absolute best cakes. They were weird flavors, but so damn good. She made me a pistachio-and-chocolate cake every single year. It was my favorite, and even when she tried to teach my mom, it wasn’t the same. After that, Mrs. West made everyone’s cakes. Everything was from scratch, and she designed elaborate decorations representing the year.
“Other than when she put all those lips on yours,” he reminds me.
My cheeks flame and I cover my face. “Ugh, I tried to forget that one!”
“You never should’ve let her know you kissed John.”
“I didn’t let her know! She caught me!”
Talk about mortifying.
Lachlan laughs softly. “She walked in on me once.”
I gasp. “Like, doing it?”
He nods. “It was ... a lecture I never wanted to repeat.”
“Well, considering I had a two-hour lecture on what boys really want, I can imagine yours was even more in depth.”
“It was, and then my father got home and I got round two, which was more about what I put my mother through.”
I laugh, trying to imagine how that went over. “I remember when Caspian went to prom and my mother and father sat him down for an hour to talk about condoms. I think he wanted to die.”
His gaze turns to me. “I was there next to him!”
“Oh! That’s right, I remember that. I’ll never forget when my mom got a banana and talked about how I wasn’t allowed to eat it because it was for Caspian to practice with.” God, my parents were strange.
“I got the cucumber. English style,” he adds on as though he’s so proud. “She knew I needed the extra length.”
“Oh, were they teaching to scale?”
He shrugs. “Not saying a word.”
I laugh. “No, not a word. I’ll find out the truth.”
I grab my phone, and Lachlan keeps glancing at me and the road as I dial my brother. “Who are you calling?”
“Caspian.”
“What up, buttercup?” my brother answers way too joyfully before Lachlan can grab the phone.
“Hey, did Mom teach you how to put on condoms based on size of vegetables? Lachlan says he was more English cucumber, and you needed the smaller fruit?”
“What the fuck?”
“I did not!”
They both yell at the same time.
“I’m asking because Lachlan was pretty proud of his cucumber.”
“Why the fuck are you talking about the size of your dick with my sister?” Caspian asks, and I lean back with a grin.
Lachlan glares at me. “We weren’t. Calm down, asshole. We were talking about embarrassing parent shit.”
Caspian sighs. “Prom?”
“Yup.”
Lachlan’s eyes are full of warning. “Once again, Berry is causing issues.”
Well now I really plan to. I hit the mute button without Lachlan knowing. “Cas, I just wanted you to know that last night, Lachlan pinned me down on the bed swing, made out with me, and dry humped me a little.” Lachlan nearly runs off the side of the road as he grabs for my phone. “It is on mute!” I yell.
“Fuck! Are you trying to get me killed?”
I shake my head. “No, but you’re trying to kill us both!”
“Hello? Lach? Ainsley?” my brother says.
I sigh heavily. “Sorry, I hit the mute button. Anyway, I just wanted to annoy you both. Love you.”
“Love you, too, and please don’t talk about your dick with Ainsley.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, because I know nothing about that. I guess we’re back in the Victorian era? Should I marry Lachlan?” I grin, loving how this has come full circle.
“I swear, Ainsley, you get worse as you get older,” Caspian complains.
“On that note, I’ll talk to you later with Dad on three-way!” I hang up before he can complain, and I feel quite proud of myself.
Lachlan parks the truck and turns to me. “You’re a troublemaker.”
“I try.”
“Try to not be one.”
I shrug. “There’s no fun in that.”
“I’m going to need to start therapy after this.”
“I have a few names,” I offer helpfully.
Lachlan exits the truck, and I giggle before following him out. Today is sweltering hot. I don’t know how anyone would willingly come play a sport in this heat, but the three other guys are standing outside their cars along with about ten new guys.
Okay . . . this is interesting.
“Ainsley, this is the rest of the team.”
“Oh!” I say, walking to them. “Hi, I’m Ainsley MacKinley. I’m writing a story on the four elderly gentlemen on your team.”
“Elderly,” Lachlan scoffs.
Each introduce themselves and shake my hand. I ask how they all came to join the team. The one—I think his name is Tate— looks to be maybe twenty-two, and he speaks first: “We all attend community college.”
I wonder whether that’s how they justify this as a college team.
Another one of the college kids nods. “Yeah, since all of these guys are enrolled in a class, it gives us the ability to play against other teams.”
Well, well, I was right.
I turn to Lachlan, Everett, Killian, and Miles. “So you’re all taking classes?”
“For professional development, yes,” Miles answers. “My military time affords me the right to free college, so . . . I’m taking it.”
“I see. We wouldn’t want the government funds to go to waste.”
Lachlan huffs. “Enough with the inquisition. We need to practice to be ready for next week.”
They grab their bags and Frisbees and head off to the field. This time it actually looks like a team. They line up in different ways and start the game, tossing the Frisbee. Is it tossing? Chucking? Maybe it’s something else. I make a note to ask them the correct terms.
After about thirty minutes, I think I might be roasting. I wore a bathing suit under my clothes because I knew it was going to be so freaking hot. It was like the heater got turned on and now I miss those cool mornings. I pull my tank top off and respray my sunscreen. There is literally nothing happening that I need to pay attention to, so I pop my earbuds in and take advantage of the sun.
Just as my favorite song about tortured poets hits the bridge, my sun is gone.
I open my eyes to see Lachlan standing over me.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I pull my earbuds out.
“I was going to ask you the same.”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m tanning.”
He sighs and wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Put clothes on. I really don’t want to have to kill anyone today.”
I smile and then hide it before he can get too mad. “Lach, it’s freaking gross out. I’m enjoying the sun.” I glance at the guys from around him, and no one is paying any attention to me. “From what I can see, you’re the only one fazed by this.”
“I’m not fazed. I’m irritated because instead of focusing on the game, they’re all trying to get an eyeful.”
“Maybe you all should learn to avoid distractions. Now please stop blocking my sun, since I have another hour of waiting for this to be over.”
He shakes his head, probably realizing he’s not going to get anywhere with me, and heads back onto the field.
I stand and spread the blanket out beside my chair and pull my shorts off, then lie on my stomach. There, that should be better.
With my eyes closed, I let the lyrics lull me into a state of nothingness. It was an exhausting night where I got no sleep and was hit with a lot of anxiety.
“Ainsley.”
I hear Lachlan and feel additional heat on my shoulder. “Go away, sleeping.”
“Come on, you need to get up. You got one hell of a sunburn.”
“Sunscreen on,” I mutter.
“Well, someone should tell your ass that, as it’s rather red.”
I go to roll to my side, but as soon as I do, I feel the burn. “Oh my God! I burnt my ass!”
I push up and turn my head to look. It’s red. Like red red. This is going to be horrible.
“I have aloe at home,” says Lachlan.
That’s not going to help me now. “That’s great, but I have a chapped ass. Literally!”
He tries not to laugh but fails. “Sorry, well, not really.”
I give him a good glare. “This isn’t funny. How the hell am I going to sit?”
This is going to be miserable. I carefully slide my shorts on and bite my lip when the material just barely grazes my skin .
Stupid me for not spraying the damn sunscreen on when I took my pants off. Ugh.
“Are you going to be all right?” Lachlan asks with way too much humor in those brown eyes.
“Don’t even pretend you don’t think this is funny.”
He lifts both hands. “I never said anything of the sort.”
Everett walks over with a huge smile. “Are you ready?”
Damn it, the interview. I need to do this, but ... how am I supposed to sit? I look at Lachlan’s grin and smile back at Everett. “I am. Can you drive? I don’t have my car.”
“Of course, consider it a date.”
I glance back to Lachlan. “See you later.”
And I walk away with so much pain on my chapped ass.
“Why are you standing?” Hazel asks as she hands me the coffee. “Does he smell?”
“Because my butt is burned.” She blinks a few times and I sigh. “I laid out while they practiced, and I didn’t sunscreen appropriately.”
She snort-laughs and then tries to cover it with a cough. “Sorry, I’m not laughing.”
“You totally are.”
“All right, I am. I have burn cream upstairs. I’ll go grab it.”
“You are an angel,” I say before drinking the coffee.
“It could happen to the best of us.”
I laugh under my breath and then head over to where Everett is sitting. “Hey, thanks again for this.”
“I’m happy to help, and it gives me the opportunity to try to force someone to talk to me.”
I glance over to where Hazel disappeared, which is where he’s also staring. “She said you guys were best friends?”
“We were—we are. I don’t know what we are, but the woman is maddening and holds grudges like no one else in the world. Be careful if you get on her bad side. ”
I grin. “I’ll keep that under advisement.”
“I heard that!” Hazel yells from the back.
“It’s not like you can punish me worse than you are!” Everett calls back to her.
“Challenge accepted.”
I giggle. “Now you’ve done it. Never challenge a woman who is already pissed.”
He sighs heavily. “One day I’ll learn. Until then I have you here, and you happen to be interested in my life.”
“That I am.”
“Are you going to sit?”
I glance at the metal chair and internally groan, but I managed to handle the car, so I need to suck it up. I gingerly sit down and try to focus on the cooling effect of the metal, not the searing pain, and force a smile.
“Okay, let’s talk about sportsball.”
He raises one brow. “Sportsball?”
“Whatever one you played.”
Everett chuckles. “I played baseball, but I threw out my shoulder three times during college.”
“That must’ve been hard.”
“It was, but the worst was the last time. I was a catcher, and if you can’t throw, you can’t do a lot of things.”
I do my best to school my features, because what the hell does throwing have to do with being a catcher? The job description is right there—catch.
“It sounds like a career ender,” I bluff, as though I have a clue about sports.
“It was and it wasn’t. I think I was the reason it ended.”
“Why is that?” I ask.
Everett leans back and sighs. “I was in love with the sport. It was my wife, mistress, and only love. I didn’t care about anything else other than making it to the majors. Baseball is ... it’s hard to explain, but it can be the most amazing thing, and it can also destroy you. Most guys never see the MLB. They spend their best years fighting in the minors for a chance to be brought up. Sure, there are those stories we see, but it’s not the norm. It was actually Hazel who helped. She sat me down after my last surgery and asked one question: Is this pain worth the possible price?”
“Good question.”
He nods. “Right. Immediately I was like, of fucking course it is. No one could tell me that baseball wasn’t worth every ache and pain I felt. Three days later, the doctor explained how I’d have loss of motion or strength for at least six months, and he didn’t think playing ball was going to be possible for at least a year. I knew at that moment there was no amount of work that was going to put me back in the running for playing professionally. I had a year left of college, and my coach allowed me to stay on the roster, so I kept my full ride, and I applied for vet school.”
His story is definitely not what I expected. “If someone had told me my junior year of college that my dream of being a journalist was no longer an option, I don’t know that I would’ve had the foresight to change gears so quickly.”
Hazel approaches with the bottle of aloe. “Don’t let him fool you. He didn’t handle it well. He went through a ridiculous party phase, drank himself to sleep for weeks.”
“She was there,” Everett adds on. “I wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for Hazel.”
I smile. It’s so clear the two of them deeply care about each other. “Friendships often save us when we’re at our lowest.” I try so hard not to let my mind drift to Lachlan and how hard it was after our rift, and while I don’t know Hazel or Everett well, I do know genuine kinship when I see it. “I don’t know why you two are upset with each other, but as an outsider, I would beg you both to take a good hard look and ask yourselves, if something happened to the other tomorrow, would this reason seem silly or worth the strain?”
Hazel looks to him and he grins at her. “Come on, Hazel, forgive me.”
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “You were forgiven weeks ago. I just like seeing you sweat it out.”
He turns to me. “See what I deal with? ”
“Yes, because you’re a walk in the park?”
“I’m like sunshine and rainbows.”
Hazel scoffs. “More like storm clouds and tornadoes.”
“All right,” I say, breaking it up before it becomes a hurricane. “I’m glad you’re both talking. Is Hazel why you came back to town?”
Everett shifts, and I wonder whether I hit a sore spot. “Partially. I grew up here, and my family moved when I went to college. After I finished school and became a veterinarian, I planned to stay in Texas, but the town needed help, and Hazel convinced me to give it a few months, and it’s been five years.”
“Can I ask one more thing about baseball?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Why did you deserve a full ride to college, because you could play sports, over someone else who planned to be a vet all along?”
He clears his throat and takes a second. “I didn’t. I just could play ball.”