Chapter 24
twenty-four
Lachlan
“ I ’ll see you in a few weeks. I’ll come visit you and Rose,” Caspian says as he’s loading his car.
“Sounds good.”
“How are you and Ainsley getting on?”
My eyes widen for a second. “What?”
“You know, you guys hate each other.”
“We don’t.”
We absolutely do not, and that’s the rub. I love her. I have for a long time, and I know the way it will end. In a week or two, she’ll head back to her life, and I’ll continue doing what’s best for Rose. Giving her a stable home, with a father who doesn’t leave and where she is comfortable.
He laughs once at that. “Look, if you don’t hate her, then you are deeply in love with that girl.”
I chuckle and lace sarcasm in my tone. “I’m sure you’d love that.”
Caspian closes the trunk and leans against it. “You and Ainsley?”
“Yeah, you and the Admiral with your overprotectiveness. No guy stands a chance. ”
“I wouldn’t hate it.”
What? Did he just . . .
“You wouldn’t?”
“No, first of all, Ainsley is a grown woman and makes her own choices. If I ever tried to tell her she couldn’t date someone, I think she’d marry him just to spite me. More than that, you’re like a brother to me. I trust you with my life, and I definitely would trust that you’d never hurt her. I’m not saying I’m advocating for it, because I’m pretty sure she’d kill you. She’s a scary one.”
I force a laugh. “She’s something.”
His eyes narrow and he looks as though he can see right through me. “Do you ... have a thing for my sister?”
I don’t know that I’ve ever lied to him in all our years of being friends. I’m not going to start now. “I’ve had feelings for her for a long time.”
His jaw drops. “I’m sorry, what the fuck universe did I wake up in? You do?”
“Look, Cas, it’s complicated, but know that I would never hurt her. Ever. If something changes between us, you’ll be the first to know.”
There’s no way I’m telling him about our current arrangement, and since there will never be anything more than this, it’ll stay right here.
“You know she loves you, right?”
“She might think she does, but she’s learning what an ass I am.”
He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. “If she hasn’t figured it out in almost twenty years, I doubt she’s going to start now.”
I laugh once. “Like I said, I won’t hurt her.”
“Has something happened between you two?” When I go to open my mouth, he lifts his hand. “Forget I asked that. I don’t want to know anything. Just know that if you do hurt her, which I know you said you won’t, I’ll beat the shit out of you and I’ll take her side.”
“As you should, and if I hurt her, I’ll let you punch me until you’re done,” I vow .
“Okay then.”
“Okay then.”
He lets out a heavy breath. “Well, I better get on the road, and you need to pick up Ainsley.”
“We’re good?” I ask, needing to make sure before he leaves.
“Of course. I just ... I’m a little shocked, but maybe I shouldn’t be.”
“What does that mean?”
Caspian laughs once. “Just that I have a feeling the signs have been there all along, and I just didn’t want to see them. I don’t know, you guys have always had this weird thing between you. When you stopped talking for the last four years, I was afraid to ask why. Now I’m really afraid.”
I remember back to that night, when she came out like a goddamn angel who was going to take me from the hell I was in, and then I broke her wings.
I knew that Ainsley was the only person who could offer me solace, but then I took and took because I was just so beyond angry.
Every damn dream I had was falling apart.
I wanted to play professional football—that didn’t work.
I wanted a family—the mother of my child walked away.
I planned to stay in Virginia Beach, lean on my parents—my mother chose to die instead of fight.
Plan after plan was just gone.
Then she walked out.
And every want, hope, dream, and desire were in front of me.
I look to my best friend, unsure of what to say. “Do you really want to know?”
“Am I going to want to punch you in the face?”
“Most definitely.”
He glances in the truck and sees Rose there, smiling at him. “I’ll add it to your tab.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Rose rolls the window down. “Daddy, can we please go get Ainsley now? I want to see the Admiral and get on a ship. ”
Caspian chokes on a laugh. “What crazy stories are you feeding that kid?”
“Your sister told her about the tiger cruise where we went to sea with the ship.”
“Ahh.” Caspian grins, and I’ve seen that look before. He’s totally going to make me pay for this previous conversation. “You know, Rose, you should tell the Admiral that you want to see the ship today .”
“Today?” Her hazel eyes brighten.
“He’ll take you, I bet.”
I groan. “We don’t have time to do that today because of your cheer competition, sweetheart.”
“But, Daddy! I want to see the big boat!”
“Ship,” I correct, as does Caspian.
“Okay, can I please ask the Admiral to take us?”
Caspian, the asshole, cuts in. “Of course you can. Your daddy would never deprive you of something so special.”
I glare at him and he smirks. “I’ll be deducting one punch.”
“It was worth it.”
“Go before I put a tally on yours.”
He leans in and kisses his goddaughter’s cheek and then flips me off as he gets in his car. As painful as that was, it’s going to pale in comparison to what’s next.
“Come in,” Ainsley says at the door.
“We just have a minute. We need to get on the road soon.”
Rose ignores that and walks in, taking Ainsley’s hand. “I need to see the Admiral.”
I sigh in resignation. No way is Ainsley going to let that pass.
“You do?”
“I have to ask him to take me to see the boat—ship. Right away.”
Ainsley looks to me and then back to Rose. “Why right away? ”
“Uncle Caspian said I needed to do it today .”
At least she attempts to stifle her laughter, but she fails. Her eyes meet mine, and that damn look her brother had minutes ago is now in her eyes.
Why do I keep these people around? I swear the MacKinleys are nothing but pains in my ass.
“If Caspian said it, then we should go see the Admiral. Come on, he’ll be so happy to see you.”
And just like that, my quick pickup is going to become a freaking all-day thing.
Rose reaches for my hand and then pulls me with her. We head to the back of the house, where the sunroom, which is also his office, sits.
It’s the same as it was when we were kids. Like time stood still here. The wood paneling is the same dark-oak color with photos of his naval career tacked up and shadowboxes with challenge coins. The desk that seemed bigger than life still sits facing the door with windows behind him, and out back is the pool.
He stands when we enter, and the tough man melts when he sees Rose.
Ainsley speaks. “Daddy, Rose is requesting to see the Admiral. She has something very important to ask.”
His posture shifts, shoulders back, and he stands tall. “All right, what can I do for you, sailor?”
She looks to me and I jut my chin. I’m not helping in this.
Ainsley leans down and pulls Rose to her side. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Ask him.”
Rose looks to the Admiral. “Mr. Admiral, would you take me to the ship? The big one.”
He clears his throat. “The big one?”
She nods. “I’ve never seen a ship like that. Can you take me?”
The Admiral comes around his desk and smiles at her. “I’d love to take you, Rose. Do you have time to go today? Ainsley said you had a cheerleading competition.”
“What time do we have to be there, Daddy?”
“In two hours,” I remind her .
She looks crestfallen, but there’s nothing I can do about this, other than kill Caspian for putting this in her head.
“Oh, well, that definitely won’t work. What about after? Can you stay another night, and we can go tomorrow?” Ainsley’s dad suggests, and I think I might hate him more than the other two combined right now.
“I don’t . . .”
“Please, Daddy. Please. I need to go on the ship. Please. Please,” Rose begs, and I work incredibly hard to come up with a reason we can’t, but there’s really none. Other than I hate this freaking town.
“Let’s see how the competition goes and then we can let the Admiral know,” I concede.
Rose basically launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my middle.
He sighs. “The things we do for our daughters.”
“You know you’re so going to owe me for this,” I tell Ainsley as we’re sitting at the bar.
Rose’s team lost the competition by three points, and while the girls were sad, all my daughter could do was ask about visiting the ship and how happy it would make her.
Amazing that at six she’s already figured out the things to say to get me to cave.
Not that I’ve ever had much resistance with her.
“Owe you?” Ainsley asks with a laugh. “For what?”
“How about making me stay in this fucking town another night? Or worse, having us stay at your damn house.”
That is really the one I could kill her for. Her suggestion was that we all stay at her home, save money on the hotel, and let the Admiral babysit so we could go out for some fun.
My idea of fun was getting a hotel and gagging her while I fucked her brains out.
Apparently we didn’t have the same ideas .
“Well, your dad is gone for the weekend, so I didn’t think there was a reason to deny Rose.” She grins before taking a sip. “Plus, I have reasons.”
“And they are?”
Ainsley leans forward. “You can sneak into my room tonight and find out.”
“That was happening regardless,” I inform her. “I’ve imagined that scenario a few times.”
“Me too.”
She drains her drink and orders another. “How did last night go? Did you guys have fun after you dropped me off?”
“We did.”
“Good. I wish I could’ve said goodbye to Caspian this morning. I hoped he was going to come by, but I understand why he won’t.”
Yeah, this would be a good time to tell her about the conversation I had with him.
“So, speaking of Caspian and understanding ...” I take a deep pull from my beer, hoping for some liquid courage. “I told him ... sort of.”
Her eyes widen. “About us?”
“Sort of.”
“Sort of how? Sort of like you told him we were sleeping together or that you took me to a magical pond because you’re a weirdo?”
“Neither of those, but I’m sure he’s assuming we’ve slept together now.” I shrug. Honestly, who can tell with this group?
Ainsley sinks back in her seat. “You told him? Why? Why would you say anything? Now we have to tell him why it didn’t work out. He’s going to punch you, you know this?”
“I do. He informed me of the same, but it was more that if I hurt you, not if this didn’t work out. Which, again, I didn’t tell him we were together, just that I had feelings for you. To which he told me you’re in love with me.” I wink.
“He did what ?” Her increase in volume causes a bunch of heads to turn. Ainsley doesn’t care, though. She soldiers on, slamming her hand on the bar. “I am not in love with you. I think you’re hot. I like what we’re doing. I’m going to kill him. I’m going to dismember him and leave him in pieces in the woods. I bet the bear would like that, little snack-sized bites. Ugh. I hate him.”
I wait her out because even if I did try to speak right now, she’d cut me off.
“Do you know what my life was like with him and my dad? It was hell. I couldn’t date. Who the hell wanted to be with the Admiral’s daughter? No one. Then, to top it off, Caspian scared the shit out of any guy who came near me.”
I lift the beer bottle up toward the bartender. I have a feeling I’m going to be here a while as she rants.
“I can imagine.”
“No, you can’t, you stupid idiot, because you were just as bad as him!”
“You liked losers,” I inform her. “Really, if they were good enough for you, they would’ve fought for you.”
“Like you should talk? You were with Ava Holtz, who is a raging bitch and was dating you because she wanted a ride everywhere.”
I chuckle. “I got to ride too.”
Her nose crinkles. “Gross.”
“I was seventeen. Cut me some slack.”
“No. You are trying to shame me for my dating, when I didn’t even date!”
“I’m just informing you that if Caspian should ask, I told him that I had feelings for you, and he told me you love me, which I’m pretty lovable, so ...”
She glares. “I’d love to hurt you right now.”
“I’d rather you kiss me.”
“I bet you would.” Ainsley turns in her chair, letting out a heavy sigh. “Did you tell him we were sleeping together?”
“No.”
“I guess there’s that miracle. So what exactly did you tell him? ”
I launch into the conversation, recalling what I can remember, and she seems mollified. At least for now.
I reach over, resting my hand on her thigh. “Forgive me?”
Ainsley tilts her head to lie on my shoulder. “I guess.”
Sometimes her inability to hold grudges works in my favor. She’s always found a way to just let things go, unlike me. I hold on to shit forever. I pretty much have learned that people are who they show you they are.
If you allow people to walk all over you, they will.
I’ve found it’s better to find the right friends than have many who aren’t worth their salt.
A slow song comes on, and I push out my chair and stand. “Dance with me?”
“You want to dance?”
“I just asked you, so yes.”
Ainsley smiles and places her hand in mine as I lead her to the dance floor.
Like two pieces of a puzzle, we fit together and then sway to the music. Ainsley’s fingers brush the back of my neck, sending emotions through me I wish didn’t exist. She makes me want more, want love, want a life that we can’t have.
“I think this is the first time we’ve ever danced,” she says wistfully.
“No, I’m sure we’ve danced before.”
“Nope. I would’ve remembered. At prom you were with Valorie and there wasn’t a chance in hell you were going to ask me.”
“You were a freshman.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yes, yes, the peon of the high school days.”
“You didn’t ask me either,” I toss back.
“Oh, please, like I would’ve ever dared to. You were Mr. Popular and a football god. I was only cool enough to talk to when people weren’t around.”
I don’t think that was the case at all. “I talked to you.”
“No, not really. ”
Now she’s being ridiculous. “Ainsley, we sat together in lunch. I made everyone make room for you.”
While Caspian and I were popular, Ainsley really wasn’t. She was pretty, smart, and likable, but she was super shy.
I’ll never forget the first day of school her freshman year. I walked into the lunchroom, and she was sitting alone, with her book, at the edge of a table. I almost lost my shit. The need to protect her was so fierce I walked over, plucked the book out of her hand, grabbed her lunch, and just walked to my table. There wasn’t room, so I kicked one of the football players out and let everyone know that she’d be sitting with us.
“Oh, I remember that. I hated you for doing it.”
“Why?”
“Because I like to read. Lunch was my time where I could get lost in a story and not have to talk to people, but then you made me sit there where everyone was nonstop talking. Dear God, I would have a migraine every day. Not to mention, I couldn’t follow half of what you guys were going on about. Plays and scoring and penalties. Who cared?”
I laugh and pull her to my chest. “We did, but in the end, it really didn’t matter.”
“I wish we could go back.” She rests her chin on my shoulder.
“I would’ve done things different.”
Ainsley leans back to look at me. “Like what?”
“I would’ve danced with you.”
She smiles. “I would’ve liked that.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“You’re dancing with me now, and if I’m honest, this is much better.”
“Why is that?”
She leans in, her lips nearing mine. “Because I never would’ve had the courage to do this before.”
Then she kisses me, and I swear the entire world disappears except for the beautiful woman in my arms.