31. Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty
Not wanting to test fate, I told Ian that I was heading home but would message him tomorrow.
I've learned my lesson with first dates — so, I'm trying a new strategy. Men should have to earn sleepovers and cuddles.
Cuddles lead to feels. And feels lead to trouble.
It's not overly late when I get back home, close to midnight. But still, I'm surprised to find Blaise awake, watching a movie.
"What time do you call this?" he playfully scolds as I try to sneak through the door.
The living room light is off, the only source of brightness from the television as he lays, sprawled out on the couch.
"I could ask you the same thing," I shoot back. "Shouldn't you be in bed, old man. You have to rest for your dance moves."
Blaise throws a cushion at me, the soft padding hitting my knees. I kick it poorly, it bounces off my leg and onto the floor.
"I couldn't sleep," he says, and I notice he's in his pajamas.
"Not tired?" I ask, dumping my keys and bag down and heading to sit in his usual single armchair.
He shakes his head. "Too many thoughts today."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Blaise runs his hand through his hair, resting his hand under the back of his head. "Just work stuff. Nothing to stress about. How was your date?"
I frown, not convinced, but decide not to press him further. "It was good," I tell him. "He's really nice."
"I'm surprised you're home," he says.
"I didn't want to stay at his house," I respond, muffling a yawn. "I'm trying to take things slower this time."
He nods, understanding. "So… you went to his house," he teases, implying exactly what happened.
Poor Blaise might not be tired, but I'm wrecked. I nod, no energy to think of a witty comeback. "Yeah. We had sex after dinner. I just wanted to be in my own bed tonight."
"How was it?" he asks, and I shrug.
"It was good. No — the sex itself was amazing. But…" I trail off, trying to collect my thoughts.
"But?"
I sigh. "Don't get me wrong. I really like him as a person. He's well-mannered, a gentleman, has his head on straight. But I just don't feel that wow connection I had with Jordan. Part of me is terrified that I'll never find that again."
Blaise sits up, crossing his legs under his body. "You've only had one proper date since the breakup. Don't write it off yet. Of course you'll find that connection."
"Yeah, I guess so," I mutter. "I just wish it was more simple."
"Love never is," he murmurs. "It's probably the hardest concept anyone will go through. There's no rules, no book to follow. We can't control things and it's a dumpster fire."
I laugh. "It really is. Like, I know how this is going to sound, but even with Kaden, there was a connection. I want to murder him the majority of the time, but there was still some strong connection there."
"That's called 'rage'," Blaise says. "Anger is a strong emotion."
"Even so, all these powerful connections that make me realize how little I felt for Jake. I don't want to waste someone's time if I don't feel that magical, all-consuming feeling. Am I asking for too much?" I ask wearily. "Maybe my expectations are too high."
Blaise shakes his head. "It's not asking too much. Love is about being crazy for someone. If you don't feel it, you don't feel it."
I sigh. "I guess so. Anyway, I'm going to go take a shower and head to bed. Are you going to be okay?"
He stands up with me, grabbing the remote for the television. "Yeah, I'm going to head back to bed now too. I'm feeling more tired now. And tomorrow I'll fill you in about some work stuff."
"Alright," I mutter, walking over and giving him a hug. "Goodnight."
Blaise hugs me back, leaning his head on my shoulder for a brief second. "Sweet dreams, Sky."
"We have four new clients so I'll need you to take a look at the calendar and see what our turnaround time is. Rebel's Jerky needs their website by the end of next week, and Watergoose Logistics are hoping for an integrated software program within three days."
I blink at Blaise. "Your calendar is already pretty full this week."
"I know," he sighs. "Let's see if we can shift anything around. Double check the estimated completion dates for me and see if there's any wiggle room. Otherwise, I might just need to do some extra work."
"You're going to burn yourself out," I warn, shaking my head.
Blaise smiles. "I'll be alright. I'm taking a few days off for the wedding. So, it's better I can get all this out before then, so that it's not waiting for me when we get back."
"Alright…" I agree wearily. "Let me see what I can do."
I manage to make a bit of time in the calendar, squeezing everything in. Essentially, between now and the wedding, Blaise and I will be working non-stop during the day, but we should be able to accomplish the tasks.
By the time I've got his schedule all sorted, signed contracts filed, and cost agreements prepared, he's back to happy, smiling Blaise. His cell is playing music as we work, and we've ordered pizza for lunch, opting for something fast and easy that we can eat while we press on.
At the end of the day, I'm relieved to finally close the laptop and let my poor fingers take a rest. Blaise does the same, pulling himself away so that we can take a break.
I walk into the kitchen, fetching two bottles of beers out of the fridge. I hand him one, tapping his bottle before taking a swig.
"Here's to us on a productive day," I say.
Blaise laughs, taking a huge sip. "And to doing it all again tomorrow."
I still haven't messaged Ian yet, so I make a mental note to do so after I've had a chance to unwind. At this stage, I'm not confident I'm able to coherently put words together into a sentence.
I crawl onto the couch, spreading my legs out as I sip my beer slowly. Sleep threatens to take me right here and now, but I resist, knowing I'll wake too early if I do.
"Move over," Blaise says, tapping my leg.
Lifting my legs, he sits at the other end of the couch, motioning for me to lay my legs back down in his lap. I rest them over his thighs, closing my eyes for a brief second.
"I'm exhausted," I complain.
Blaise laughs softly. "And you're worried about me being burned out."
I smile, eyes still closed. "I always worry about you."
"Likewise."
"You shouldn't," I grumble. "It's too much energy."
I feel his hand rest on my shin, rubbing it gently. "Stop doing silly things and it will be fine."
"Ah," I start. "So, stop falling in love with douchebags."
"That too."
Opening my eyes, I peer at him, finding he's looking at me too. "What else have I done wrong?"
"The gym," he groans. "It's not the cardio you are meant to do. But also, flood waters… tequila adventures."
"Okay," I hold my hand up. "I learned my lesson on all of those things. Time to move on, buddy."
He laughs heartily. "We'll see. My family is going to love you."
"I'm pretty loveable," I mutter. "I promise to stay away from hard liquor. The last thing I need is some crazy bride going John Cena on me."
Blaise smiles. "Lauren is really lovely. She's a saint for putting up with Alfie."
"How did they meet?" I ask, intrigued. I want to hear about love stories — so that I can be reminded that a happy ending is possible.
He thinks for a second, remembering back. "They met at the mall. Alfie went to buy Mom a present for her birthday. Lauren was there shopping for her niece. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going and collided with her. I'm told it was a disaster. Alfie had also picked up a cake and he dropped it, all over the ground. It splattered all over Lauren's pants and then he slipped over in the icing."
"You're kidding," I gasp.
"Nope," he laughs. "I told him the expression falling head over heels is meant to be a metaphor, not a physical action. Luckily, she was so calm about it. He was going to abandon the cake but Lauren marched him straight to the nearest bakery and helped him pick out another one. And the rest is history."
I let out a small giggle. "That's one of the best love stories I've ever heard. I have no doubt you give him shit about it all the time."
Blaise nods. "Absolutely. Whenever there is a cake nearby, I always tell him to stay away. He's no longer trusted with any baked goods."
"But your mom still got a cake in the end," I beam. "And a daughter-in-law."
"Oh, yes," he murmurs. "She said it was the best birthday present ever."
His nose wrinkles as he thinks about his family. My knee jerks as he runs a hand over it, so I cross my feet at my ankles. "Why is your mom so pushy about relationships?" I ask curiously.
Blaise looks at me, like it's an obvious answer. "My Dad," he says simply. "She's been this way ever since he died. I think she just misses him so much. They loved each other a lot. She wants that for us too."
"But you guys are still young," I point out. "There's no rush these days. I know our parents were a lot younger when they got married and had kids, but it's not like we're ancient."
"I know. But she just wants the best for us. To her, the best years of her life were with my Dad. So she wants that for us too."
I nod. "That's actually really sweet. My parents are kind of the opposite. They want me to be happy, but typical Dad with his daughter, no one is good enough."
"Dads are meant to be protective," Blaise says. "And someone will be one day. Parents just want to stop us from making stupid decisions."
Groaning, I lean my head back. "Then let's not tell mine about my life. I don't think they would be able to cope."
Blaise hums, resting his hand on my ankle. "What about your uncle? What would he have said?"
I smile, thinking about Uncle Logie. "He would have been right there with Dad, hunting all of them down. But Uncle Logie wasn't interested in love. He grew up with very little, so for him, his life mission was accomplishing as much as possible. He wanted to stick with the family he had, be loyal, and work hard. We might be a small family, but we're close, just like they wanted."
"Do you miss not having siblings?"
Shrugging, I tilt my head to the side. "I never felt like I was missing out. Sure, I've thought about what it would be like to have a sister, but my parents and Uncle made sure I was loved. They spoiled me in the ways they knew how."
"Parenting," Blaise points out. "There's no textbook for it."
"Or love," I answer. "It's all a game until you figure out the rules."