Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Shiloh
In honor of passing his math midterm with a well-deserved B and despite the fact that I would not be able to tutor him anymore, Enoch insisted that he repay me for saving his idiot ass and not flunking. Which was how I found myself riding home with him.
There was this bubble of unspoken words between us, and I couldn’t help but regret telling him about Javier’s death. The two days I spent with him over the long weekend felt like a dream now, a dream I had poisoned by being honest. I looked over at him as he cursed under his breath.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as we pulled into his driveway.
He let out a deep sigh, turning in his seat to look directly at me. His eyes searched mine for a silent moment before he spoke.
“I promise I didn’t know that they were going to be here,” he said, licking his lips in what appeared to be trepidation. “If you want to go, I can take you home right now.”
I furrowed my brows, only to realize he must be talking about Sebastian.
“No,” I cleared my throat and let out a sigh. “I can’t avoid him forever, right?”
Although, I could have if I was really determined. But that would mean I’d also have to give up my time with Nox.
Nox placed his hand on my arm, “You sure?”
“Yeah, I believe I was promised a delicious meal,” I eyed him with a half-smile.
He chuckled, giving my arm a light squeeze before turning the car off. I held onto the frayed straps of my backpack as we entered the house, the smell of roasting herbs making my mouth water. This will be worth it.
I almost believed myself until I walked into the living room and saw him.
I halted in the doorway, watching as he read a book to Ruthie, his back to us with Ruthie in his lap.
I was startled by Enoch’s hand on my lower back and looked over at him.
He gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded, stepping into the room.
“?Qué tranza, wey?”
Sebastian quickly turned his head, a smile etched across his face. My stomach sank. Those same brown eyes had been haunting my nightmares nightly. I shoved the thoughts back to the darkest corner of my mind and forced myself to walk to him.
“?Güerita! Ven par’ aquí!” He stood, leaving Ruthie on the floor watching her dad intently.
I couldn’t help the smile I held as I fell into his open arms. He held me tightly to his chest, his chin on top of my head. We stood like that for a long moment, until Ruthie grabbed onto my leg and pulled herself upright, gesturing to be picked up.
Sebastian laughed. “Celosa.”
I pulled away, careful not to knock Ruthie over and smiled at her as Seb picked her up.
“Hey, Nox,” Seb nodded in his direction. “What are y’all up to?”
I shrugged looking back at Enoch, the guilt beginning to swirl in my stomach.
“Just celebrating my passing grade in math thanks to one very talented peer tutor. We’ll be upstairs until dinner is ready,” Enoch smiled, motioning for me to follow him upstairs.
“Oh, okay,” Sebastian sounded a little disappointed, but masked it with a smile. “See you later then, güerita.”
I nodded and quickly pushed Nox towards the stairs. I let out a huff as I shut his door behind us and plopped face first onto his bed. I felt the bed sag beside me as Nox sat down.
“That wasn’t so bad,” he sang, as he brushed my hair back so he could see my face.
I turned my head and looked up at him. The overhead light was casting shadows down his face, accentuating his long lashes and sharp jaw. He’s kind of cute.
“I know,” Nox smirked, making my heart skip a beat.
My eyes went wide as I questioned my sanity and whether I had accidentally said that aloud. Nox broke into a chuckle, shaking his head at me.
“Don’t worry,” his eyes sparkling with his smile, “I can’t read your mind. But I can take a pretty good guess that you were thinking about me.”
My cheeks burned and I flipped him off only causing him to chuckle more, before laying down on his side so that we were eye level.
“You’re either really hungry or really freaking brave,” he softly laughed, his eyes never leaving my own.
I would usually tell him to stop staring, but by the way he was looking at me I could tell it wasn’t because he was focusing on my deformity. It was like he was trying to decode the secrets in my soul, and my eyes were the key. Thank fuck that’s all just poetic bullshit.
“Probably the first one,” I shrugged. “I mean, your mom’s food is fucking to die for.”
He rolled his eyes, his face suddenly becoming serious. “For real though, you’re seriously awesome.”
I scoffed and rolled onto my back to face the ceiling.
“Whatever,” I mumbled.
“No, Shy. I’m being serious.” He pushed onto his elbows so that he was hovering over me.
“You are so brave, incredibly freaking smart, like, not just because you helped me understand algebra.” I rolled my eyes.
“And strong. Literally you could totally beat my ass. But also, mentally. You’re handling shit I can’t even begin to comprehend and I’m honestly in awe of how you do it. ”
I chewed on my lip, my chest suddenly feeling warm and my nose tingling like I was going to cry. Stop being a fucking weak-ass puta.
“Hey, don’t cry,” his eyes gazed at me softly. “I don’t want you to be in pain. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I cleared my throat, trying to get the feeling to pass.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I just…no one’s ever said that to me.”
“Well, I hope you believe it,” he smiled at me, after a brief look of surprise.
I didn’t respond, mostly because I wanted to keep my fucking mouth from spilling anything else. I was too comfortable around him. Enoch made me feel like I could tell him anything and I desperately wanted to.
It took almost all I had to not let everything that’s happened to me fill the silence between us.
I felt relaxed when I was with him. Something I didn’t think I’d ever felt before.
Not even with Seb or Javi. There was just something I couldn’t explain about the sense of safety Enoch seemed to wash over me like waves.
And the worst fucking part was that I didn’t deserve any of it, yet I was the weakest fucking puta for pretending that I did. God, if he knew what I’d done, who I was…he wouldn’t be calling me any of those words.
“So,” he said, making me look back to his brown eyes. “Did you want to do something, or we could take a nap?”
I raised my brow at him, completely thrown off by his suggestion of a nap.
“What? You’re tired, and I could go for a nap too.”
Nox’s eyes searched mine expectantly, like he was really hoping I’d say yes to the nap. I almost laughed and told him to fuck off, but then I remembered how well I had slept the last time I’d stayed over.
“Okay,” I nodded.
Nox smiled, his eyes almost excited as he scooted up towards the pillows. “You’re gonna think I’m weird, but I don’t do street clothes in bed.”
I just looked at him in confusion, and he clarified.
“I don’t wear my outside clothes in bed. I mean, under the blankets on my sheets. So, if you wanted to get under the duvet then you can borrow some pajamas.”
“Oh,” I nodded in understanding. “I’m the same way.”
“Really?” he asked, wide eyed.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “I think it’s gross when people sit on their bed, especially with their shoes on.”
He nodded in agreement and walked over to his dresser, throwing a pair of sweats and a shirt at me to put on. Nox grabbed a pair of sweatpants for himself and then motioned for me to turn around.
“No peeking,” he warned with a wink, before turning around himself.
My heart skipped a couple beats at the thought of changing in the same room, but I ignored it and quickly replaced my clothes for his.
“Are you done?” I asked as I folded my clothes into a pile on the floor.
“Yeah, you?”
“Yep,” I said as I turned around.
He smiled as he quickly looked me over before climbing under the duvet patting the space beside him.
I slipped under the covers, leaving a good foot of distance between us, and adjusted until I was comfortable on my back.
I looked over and noticed that Nox was on his side facing me, his arm tucked beneath his pillow.
“Can I ask you something?” He spoke softly, glancing down to my chest.
Okay, what the fuck now?
“Sure,” I said with an eye roll.
“Who gave you those scars?”
I physically jolted back a few inches, stunned by his unexpected question. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He looked like he was trying to tame a feral animal as he explained himself. “I noticed the cigarette burns on your chest. Not now, I mean, I wasn’t watching you change. I noticed them weeks ago when you had showered at my place. I was just wondering how they happened.”
I squinted my eyes, fighting the urge to cuss him out for being so damn nosy and rude.
He didn’t apologize or tell me not to answer, Enoch simply met my stare, patiently waiting.
I let out a sigh after another eye roll before relenting.
I propped myself up on one arm so I could pull down his shirt to expose the scars below my collarbones.
“Most of them came from Javi.” I brushed my finger over one of the soft pink circles.
I let the shirt go and laid back down, waiting for him to say something. His expression was pensive, his lips pulled inwards, and his thick brows pinched in the middle.
“Who else abused you?” he finally asked.
“What?”
“Well, you said most of them were from Javier.”
“Wait, no. Javi didn’t abuse me,” I shot back, my body tensed with anger at his suggestion.
“I’m sorry,” he said with a hand raised in surrender. “You-you just said that Javier burned you with cigarettes. That’s…that’s abuse, Shiloh.”
I scoffed and shook my head. Closing my eyes to try and prevent myself from crying, this time out of frustration.
“You don’t understand,” I dismissed, keeping my eyes closed.
I was startled when I felt his hand on my hip, opening my eyes as he rolled me to face him.
“I can’t if you don’t give me a chance.” His hand was still on my hip, heat radiating between our bodies.