Chapter 22 #3
Fuck. Things were going so well. My stomach dropped to the floor, and I started sweating.
I was surprised when I felt Shiloh’s hand on my thigh, squeezing it tightly.
I wrapped my hand over hers. Shy gave her usual blank stare, but I knew she was unnerved with her hand in mine and her leg bouncing like crazy.
“Actually, I think maybe we should talk after dinner.”
I noticed Sebastian quirk his brow at Shy, and I wondered what their silent conversation was about. Thankfully, Ruthie started throwing her food to signal she had finished eating and we began clearing the table.
After helping my mom clean up, I went to go find Shiloh to see how she was doing but stopped in my tracks when I saw her and Sebastian talking in the hall.
He was speaking to her in Spanish, and she looked on edge, her jaw clenched as she stared up at him.
Shiloh must’ve noticed my presence and her hazel eyes met mine with a pleading stare.
I walked over to her, slipping my hand into hers and squeezing it in reassurance.
“Hey, Nox. Shiloh and I are kind of having a private conversation,” Sebastian raised his brows at me, as if silently telling me to leave.
“He can stay,” Shiloh said firmly.
“Okay then,” Sebastian cleared his throat, glancing down at our intertwined hands.
“So,” he raised his brow at Shiloh. “What’s going on with Javier?”
Shy growled in her throat, shutting her eyes and shaking her head slightly.
“Are you embarrassed or something?” When she didn’t answer, Sebastian dug in deeper. “Then what, Shiloh?” He threw his hands up in annoyance.
Shiloh dug her fingernails into the back of my hand.
“Fine. You don’t want to tell me then I’ll call Javi myself and ask. Give me his number.”
“No.”
My hand was sweating but Shy didn’t seem to care as she held on tightly, bouncing her leg with nerves.
“Shiloh, something is going on. I know you. I know when you’re trying to lie. So just tell me already. I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me the truth. It’s not that hard. So, unless you want me to go to Javier, you’re gonna tell me what the hell is going on.”
“You can’t talk to Javier because he’s gone.” Shiloh balled her free hand into a fist against her side, and I was worried for a moment that she might punch him.
“Where is he then?”
“Gone,” she glared up at him fiercely.
“You mean, like, he’s gone with some friends or like…he move away permanently?” Sebastian asked slowly, almost like he didn’t really want to know the answer.
Shy didn’t respond, just stared up at him.
“No, no fucking way. He’d never leave you. Never,” Javier shook his head in disbelief. “He’s always acted like your father. He’d never just abandon you.”
“I couldn’t stop it,” she croaked, and I looked down at her face to see that her eyes were misty.
Fuck, she’s crying.
I wrapped my arm around her waist and turned her to face me directly. Her lip was wobbling despite how hard she looked like she was trying not to cry.
“He made the choice to kill himself, it was not your fault,” I said firmly.
“Woah, woah, what the fuck are you talking about?” Sebastian asked almost hysterically, shaking Shiloh’s shoulder when she didn’t respond. “He’s dead?”
Sebastian breathed out and slumped against the wall as if someone had punched him in the gut.
“Shiloh, he’d never…he wouldn’t just leave you. He’d never do that. Right?”
Shiloh shook her head, and I placed my hands on either side of her face to wipe her tears.
“Shy, you gotta calm down. Let’s go get you some ice,” I said softly.
“Right, Shiloh?” Sebastian almost shouted, causing her to release a sob.
“I don’t fucking know anymore! But he’s dead, Sebastian!”
“When?” Sebastian whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears falling down his face.
“A month ago.”
Shiloh started sobbing uncontrollably and I crushed her against my chest running my hand through her hair.
“Dude, back off. She needs to go get some ice for her eyes,” I firmly told Sebastian.
His eyes went wide, and he quickly muttered some curse words.
“Fuck, Shiloh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I forgot,” he said wiping his face as I led her into the kitchen.
My mom was about to ask what was going on, but I shook my head at her. I held onto Shy as her crying subsided and she mumbled several expletives against my chest.
“Here,” Sebastian said softly, holding out a towel with ice.
Shiloh pulled away, giving us a view of her swollen and puffy eyes. “Shut up,” she croaked, taking the ice and pressing it over her eyes.
Sebastian and I stood there awkwardly, my mom still finishing up the dishes with Esty in the background. After several minutes, Shiloh removed the ice and used the towel to wipe her nose.
“I’m sorry I lied,” she said hoarsely, her eyes swollen shut.
“No, I’m sorry for pushing you. I shouldn’t have made you cry. I’m really sorry,” Sebastian said, grabbing her free hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know it’s probably a stupid question, but how are you holding up alone? Do you want to come stay with Eden and I?”
Shiloh sniffled, letting out a shaky deep breath before responding.
“Thanks, but I’m fine. I know how to handle things.”
Sebastian frowned, running a hand down his face. “The car accident, Shy? Was that before or after Javi—”
“Stop, Seb,” she pleaded, blindly reaching out for him and clutching his arm. My mind was floundering trying to put the pieces together.
“But—” Shiloh cut him off.
“Please,” she said with desperation. “Don’t. My dad isn’t like yours anymore, okay. I’m gonna be fine. I promise.”
Seb released a sigh and reluctantly nodded.
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me, alright?”
Sebastian pulled her into his arms, and I stood there awkwardly watching as he tried to comfort her, speaking softly in Spanish.
My mom grabbed my attention with the wave of her hand and motioned for us to leave the room.
I nodded and headed out, my mind racing, wondering as to why Shiloh thought it was her fault her brother killed himself.
I wanted so badly to be the one with her right now, to be the one holding her in my arms, speaking softly to her with comforting words. But I knew that they had a history, a shared one with her brother that I couldn’t compete with when it came to mourning the loss of Javier.
Shiloh said she could see mostly okay after about an hour, and her hazel eyes didn’t look as beat-up.
We all sat in the living room, Shiloh between Sebastian and I, while the rest of my family took turns playing with Ruthie.
Shiloh didn’t say anything until after Sebastian left, when she asked me to take her home.
I offered for her to stay the night, but she declined.
Strangely enough, she had me drive her to an apartment complex at the lakefront shopping center, and not the little house I’d dropped her off at before.
She said they had moved. I wondered if it had to do with her brother’s death.
I held her hand on the drive home, unsure what words I could even say to help.
She mumbled a goodbye before leaving the car.
I spent the drive home processing everything that happened. I was only left with more questions. Like, what did she mean when she said she was knew how to handle things? Why did Javier ask about the car accident? And what did she mean about Sebastian’s dad being like her dad?
It suddenly dawned on me and I nearly slammed on the breaks to turn around to pick Shiloh back up.
Abuse.
Sebastian knew about the abuse from her family.
Maybe Sebastian and his mom were being abused by his dad too, and they had escaped it when they moved to Dallas.
That must have been why Sebastian was so curious as to whether Shiloh was still living at home.
Why he was questioning her about the car accident.
It wasn’t a fucking car accident. My gut instincts were right.
But was she still lying? Was she really safe at home?
Despite what she had explained, Shiloh hadn’t managed to convince me that her brother wasn’t torturing her.
I didn’t care about his motives or that Shiloh had asked him to hurt her, it was still abuse.
Now that he was dead, did that mean she was safer at home? Or was her dad still hurting her too?
Fuck. I hope I’m wrong. Please, let me be wrong. Let her be safe.
Maybe it’s time I ask my dad to get involved.