Chapter 24 #3
Getting himself under control, Niko make his way through the house, into her bedroom, which was in the back of the house on the first floor, through the kitchen, a peek into the bathroom, then into her favorite room in the whole house — the small sitting room she’d deemed the library, which also happened to house the rounded bay window she loved so much.
It wasn’t much of a library, truth be told, but there were a couple of sets of book shelves with a few dozen books on them, along with some Reader’s Digests.
Some magazines; mostly Home and Garden, and National Geographic.
He smiled as he picked up one of them still lying on a small, round, marble topped table with ornate carved wooden legs.
He flipped through it to the page she’d stuck a folded sheet of paper in to mark her place and smiled at the story — ‘How to Decorate Your House to Feel Like a Home’.
“Our house was always home, Mimi,” he whispered, replacing the paper to hold her place, and returning it to the table beside her chair, before wandering over to the old, wooden staircase and looking up, wondering if he really wanted to go up there.
“I’ve come this far,” he said, before setting his foot on the first step and starting up the stairs.
He took note of the polish still on the wooden banister from years of hands running up and down its surface as their owners ran back and forth up the stairs.
And he noticed that the old familiar creek of the third stair from the top was still there.
It saved him many times from getting caught reading his comic books in bed after bedtime.
His Mimi would step on that third step from the top and the creek of the wood would warn him to pretend to be asleep.
By the time she opened his door to check on him, he always appeared to be deep asleep.
He smiled to himself at the memory as he looked into the two back bedrooms, the extra bedroom, and the front bedroom — which had been his.
He felt like a child again when he stepped inside.
The smile he still wore melted away when he took note of the clothes he’d left hanging in the closet, the toys on the shelf, even his shoes kicked off and left where they landed beside the bed.
He closed his bedroom door and left it all just like he had last time, not any more willing to deal with the remnants of his childhood than he had been when he’d first closed the door on it.
The last room he checked was the extra one that sat next to his at the front of the house.
It was a little smaller than his bedroom had been, but was one of the busiest rooms in the house.
Mimi’s sewing room. Everything in that room was covered with bolts of material, and cookie tins long ago emptied and filled with an array of buttons.
Spools of thread and both safety and straight pins, wax pencils for marking off patterns, and of course her sewing machine, still and unused after all these years.
Despite all the dust and the cobwebs that had accumulated throughout the house, he could still smell her in this room.
The lavender perfume she loved despite the fact that it made everyone else sneeze still scented this room.
He picked up one of the squares she’d saved most likely with the intention of making a quilt from it, and held it to his nose.
Sure enough, it smelled like lavender. He looked around the room again, then tucked it into his pocket and made his way back downstairs.
He made a quick trip out of the back door to take a look at the back porch where her rocking chair still sat beside the bench he and his friends would perch on when enjoying sweet, ice-cold watermelon as it dripped down their arms in the summertime.
Satisfied that the old house was worth salvaging, he went back inside, and then out the front door, pulling it securely closed behind himself.
“So, are we rebuilding it?”
Niko swung around and found Rance standing there.
“Why are you here?” Niko asked.
“Because you’re my friend,” Rance said.
“Why are you here?” Rance countered.
“It was time,” Niko said with a shrug.
“Past time,” Rance said.
Niko nodded as he stepped off the porch, turning his back to Rance and looking up at the second floor windows as he surveyed the house again. “It’s held up well.”
“Considering it’s been a lot of years since anyone has stepped inside, or walked its porches, I’d say it’s held really well,” Rance said. “How’s it look inside?”
“Other than twenty years of dust and grit, it looks like it did the day I left it. Everything is exactly in its place, waiting for whoever lives here to come back and pick up where they left off,” Niko said.
“Are you?” Rance asked.
“Am I what?” Niko asked, looking back at him.
“Going to pick up where you left off here? Build a life in this house.”
Niko backed up some so he could get a better look at the second story, and possibly the roof. “Remember when we’d climb out of my window and sit on the roof right there, over the porch, looking at the stars and dreaming of the adventures we’d have when we grew up and ran away from this place?”
“Only too well. Those were some of the best times of my life. And your tree house, and the fried bologna sandwiches Mimi would bring out to us with a big plastic jug of grape Koolade.”
“Yeah,” Niko said with a wide grin. “Or if we were really lucky it was black cherry flavor.”
“Oh, man! Yes! And the ice cream sandwiches she’d make us with homemade chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream. We had it good and didn’t even realize it,” Rance said.
“I did. I knew what we had,” Niko said quietly. “I’d give anything for just one more day.”
“I’m sure you would. Your Mimi was the best.”
Niko nodded.
“She wanted you to be happy, Niko. She wouldn’t want to see you walking around alone, pretending that nothing ever meant anything to you, that you never wanted more for yourself.”
“You know why I don’t,” Niko said, but his voice was quiet, instead of the brash declaration one would expect of him.
Rance nodded. “Maybe it’s time to let go of the what if it’s is-s, and embrace the what if it’s nots.”
Niko laughed a bit. “Is-s? How do you spell that?”
“Hell if I know. It’s the opposite of nots.”
Niko lifted both hands and rubbed at his eyes as he sighed. “What happens if she turns out exactly like my mother? And that makes me turn out exactly like my father?”
“First, we all know you’re a mean drunk, but not unreasonably so. You only direct it at somebody if they fuck with you first. Until then, you’re happy as hell.”
“True,” Niko said.
“And she’s nothing like your mother.”
“How can you be so sure?” Niko asked quietly.
“Niko, man, open your eyes. She’s a single mother.
She’s raising her boy alone, and from being around the kid and seeing the little bit I have, she’s doing a hell of a job.
She hasn’t dumped him, hasn’t run out on him, she thrives on him.
She’s overprotective, and loving, and nurturing.
Exactly what any male would want as a mother for his children, and in a mate for himself.
And despite the fact that you ran from her literally screaming when you realized she’s your mate, she hasn’t punched you yet.
I’d say it paints an encouraging possibility.
And can I mention the way her boy took one look at you and said, ‘Yep, that’s the one I want. Will you protect my mom and me?’?”
Niko grinned. “Yeah, he likes me. Knows I’m cool and shit.”
Rance laughed as he took a few steps to stand beside Niko. “It’s got good bones.”
“The house or the thing with Maeve?”
“Both. The thing with Maeve, you just need to drop that fucking wall you put up to all females, and let her see you. You’re a good male. Terrified by the shit that life handed a little boy that was caught between a worthless mother and a fuckhead of a father.”
“I’m afraid.”
“I would be, too. Hell, I am! My mate’s lying up in the spare bedroom of Jack’s house and I haven’t even been up to see her since we got back this morning.”
“Why not?!” Niko asked, shooting what-the-fuck looks Rance’s way.
“She’s mourning another male. The last thing she needs is me all up in her face trying to step into his place.”
“You’re not stepping into his place. You’re stepping into your place. And she’ll feel the difference.”
“How do you know that? You never even get the names of the females you sleep with.”
Niko looked over at Rance again and smiled sadly.
“I know the name of each and every one. I just pretend that I don’t know.
They deserve as much respect as any one else, and making sure that we’re all on the same page is part of that.
I don’t want to hurt anybody or make them feel less than.
I just don’t want to feel anything, so the women I choose have to not want to feel anything either. ”
“Damn, Niko.”
“Anyway, I know that yours will feel the difference because Kassidy said she felt the difference between being mated to Jared and then finding her true mate in Vance.”
“She said that?”
“She did. And you know, I’m not saying yours doesn’t need to heal, damn straight she does, but she’ll know what you are to her, too. Have some faith in her.”
“Pot, let me introduce you to the kettle,” Rance said.
“Kiss my ass,” Niko said.
Rance laughed and stood beside Niko as they looked up at Mimi’s house. “Wouldn’t have to be a gut job. We could just clean it up, replace whatever warped or rotten wood we find. Make sure the pipes are running clear and aren’t cracked somewhere from the years of cold.”
“I think they’re fine. There’s no water damage inside.”
“And that means the roof is still sound, too, but we can walk it and make sure it’s more than sound.
Turn the electricity back on, and clean it up.
Get some new furniture, paint some walls.
It would be a fantastic house. It is a fantastic house, filled with love and laughter and memories.
And your Mimi would love to know that you’re in it with your mate and your son.
It deserves to be filled with happiness again. ”
“If I do this, there are some other things that I’ll need.”
“Such as…”
“Your promise that if she leaves me and I become an abusive, worthless drunk, beating on anybody, especially my kid, that you kill me. Don’t rehabilitate me, don’t try to sober me up, just fucking kill me, because even that is better than I would deserve.”
“You’re not your father, Niko. I already said that.”
“Just promise me.”
“I promise you.”
“And promise me that if you kill me, and she comes back here afterward looking for her kid, or our kids, or whatever, you don’t give them back to her. Because they deserve security, and if she’s already left us both, then she’s not reliable.”
“She won’t. I wonder if she’s not part Bear the way she watches over him.”
Niko looked over at Rance.
“I promise you. It will not happen. I don’t believe that it’s possible. But if it does, any of it, I will take the kid or kids in and raise them right, and love them, and kill you, and keep her off the mountain.”
“Thank you,” Niko said, embracing Rance in a hug, and patting his back furiously.