Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
MAY
I t had been two days since her meltdown at the shop and she was at her scheduled therapy session. Even without glancing at Anastasia, her therapist, Daisy knew that she was concerned.
“As much as I like looking at you for hours at a time, I’d like for you to talk to me too.”
She sighed at the playful tone and tried to navigate through the mess in her head. The last two days had allowed her to replay their conversation and see that her reaction was based entirely on her history, which Rafferty had no idea about. It was unfair to ignore him. Especially since he sent her texts and a picture after he reached New York. The photograph of their brownstones had made her teary, even more because someone else was living in the house that had once been her safe space. She was anxious about everything she’d said, that the thought of rehashing it made her want to crawl into a hole and never leave.
“Remember my firefighter friend? Well, I was unfair to him a few days ago and I don’t know how to fix it,” she said, chewing on the inside of her cheek.
“Take me through what happened.”
Even though she made a face, because repeating that day made her uncomfortable, Daisy laid it all out for her therapist. “I don’t like talking about that part of my life, for obvious reasons. And I know he doesn’t know my history. But when he said that if we’d stayed in touch and been together, we might have had a kid together, I lashed out.” Rubbing her forehead, she groaned. “The thing is, I don’t know if he said it as a flirty thing or if he meant it seriously. “
“Do you know why you snapped?”
She winced, playing with the end of her braid. “Had it been anyone else, it would have been this cute and maybe even romantic moment. But not for someone who has had to deal with the things I have.”
“Don’t brush off your reality by saying that. You’re allowed to feel what you do, without explaining it. Now, why did it upset you?”
She picked at her cuticles and glared at the chipped nail polish. “Because I’m never going to have that life, with him or anyone else. I can’t just say yeah, maybe that’ll be us one day , when I know that I can never give him or myself that.” She tucked her hands under her thighs and added, “I didn’t say any of that, though. I didn’t tell him why I was upset. I just…walked away.”
Anastasia didn’t say anything, just let them sit in silence for a long time.
“Wait, I did say that I had dreams of one day being a mother and would have loved to have that life with him. I also said that I couldn’t have that anymore. He was confused, then surprised by my reaction. Because obviously, I sounded like a deranged person.”
“Remember, we don’t use those terms. You’ve been through a lot. It’s normal for certain things to be a trigger. But let’s look at it from his side,” Anastasia said. “He’s thought about what a life would be like with you, like you have, and he’s imagined the two of you having kids together. It is cute and romantic. Yes, he said it casually. To him, that’s not how it appears. He was being honest and open.”
Her head spun at those words. She closed her eyes and recalled the way he looked when her tone changed. Surprised might have been too tame a word to express that. He looked shocked and hurt when she pushed him away. What should have been a good day to spend together before he left turned into one they spent apart.
Jesus, I’m such a fucking mess .
“You’re not a mess.”
“Oh god,” she mumbled, covering her eyes at the realization she’d said those words out loud. She laughed and shook her head before relaxing into the couch.
Anastasia smiled. “Has he gotten in touch since?”
“Yeah.”
“What did he say?”
“He apologized. He doesn’t know what he’s sorry for, but he hates that he made me feel that way.”
Her therapist nodded. “And I’m assuming you haven’t replied.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“The truth is a good place to start.”
She made a face and looked away. “He’s in New York for the weekend, so even if I wanted to…I can’t.”
“The weekend ends soon.”
“You know what I mean,” she grumbled.
Anastasia chuckled. “It’s important that you communicate with him about this, Daisy. If he’s as significant to your life as you’ve made me believe, you can’t brush past this and expect him to forget. Honestly, neither of you will forget this and it will taint whatever relationship you’re hoping to build.”
“I don’t like it when you’re smart and logical. I prefer it when you’re indulging me.”
With another laugh, her therapist set her notebook aside. “Better get used to it, because I’m all of those things and so much more.”
She smiled and leaned forward. “So I tell him about Clarke and my PCOD and everything in between?”
“Something tells me he’s going to be really supportive and understanding. And will love you because of these things.”
Love. It was such a complicated emotion. One she’d felt for Rafferty as a teenager and for Clarke as an adult. Now she was in this weird limbo of whether or not she could feel that way again. Even with all of this going on, every thought of him made her heart expand. He’d always had this way of making her soul feel like it was burning for him, that flame was back and she was powerless against it.
“Wherever your mind went just now, I like it.”
She shook off the thoughts and realized that she was smiling. Pressing her fingers to her mouth, Daisy shook her head. Settling into the couch, she allowed herself to relax. The rest of the session was spent talking about the usual things—her anxiety, if she was taking care of herself and how many migraines she’d had.
One day at a time, that’s all I can do.
When she came out of her session, her phone lit up with a bajillion notifications—a couple from her father with more pictures of their travels and two from Monroe about classes being canceled for the rest of the day. Then a voice note from Ginny telling her all about how Clementine and Oakley had a fight outside the tattoo shop, that their friend left in tears, but didn’t have any more information. She contemplated texting Clementine to make sure she was okay, but knew that the chef would ignore it. She hadn’t replied to a single message on the Snap, Crackle hers was a calendar notification about an upcoming event that she swiped away.
“Okay, now tell me what’s going on with Rafferty. Who by the way I need to meet soon.”
“Scoping out the competition?”
Roe gasped, hand on her chest. “I didn’t know I was competing with this man!”
“Well, he was my first best friend.”
“Is he still?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted softly and stretched her legs out. “We’ve been…flirting, I guess? After Frankie’s wedding, I went to see him and stayed the night. It felt good to talk, you know? All this time apart, so much to unpack and share with each other.”
“Is that all you did?”
“Stop it. We’re friends .”
“But you want to be more,” Roe said with a grin.
“Maybe? I do feel like that teenager when he’s around. Starry-eyed and light on my feet because of the way he looks at me. But he’s a single dad and we’re so different from how we were back then.” She paused and glanced at her best friend. “He made a comment about how if we could have been together this whole time and maybe had a kid together and…”
“Oh, shit.”
Daisy sighed and covered her face with both hands. “I know . Ugh. I shut down and instantly reacted. It was messy and I haven’t spoken to him since.”
“Why not?”
“Because I felt bad about my response and he’s in New York this weekend.”
Roe hummed and squeezed Daisy’s shoulder. “Do you know what you want to say when you see him next?”
Nodding slowly, she leaned back. “Had a session with Anastasia today, so I know what to say, dunno if I want to.”
“If you need some moral support, you know where to find me.”
“Under your husband?”
Roe wiggled her eyebrows. “At least I’m predictable.”
Daisy laughed and bumped shoulders with her best friend. She knew how lucky she was to have met Monroe and for their friendship to keep growing every single day. She’d never been the most friendly or outgoing person, but she liked people. It was really hard to make friends when everyone already had their groups and didn’t have time or anything else. Then Monroe walked into her life and never even thought about walking out.
“Coming to Food Fling this weekend?” she asked and Roe shook her head.
“I’ve got a class on Saturday and Wyatt’s back that night, so I’m tying him to the bed all of Sunday.”
“I mean…yeah, good call.”
“Eat all the dessert on my behalf, though.”
“You know I most certainly will.”
When she got back to the Patch afterwards, the last person she expected to see was Oakley. Once she heard about the fight and the break-up, she figured that he would be hiding out, but he was there and looking for help. She made sure to call Ginny and they listened as he recounted everything that happened with Clementine. Her heart broke for the man, because she could see how distraught he was. Even before he finished telling them everything, including confessing his love for the chef over and over again, Daisy had decided that she was going to help him get her back.
It was startling to see someone wear their heart so boldly on their sleeve. Honestly, with Oakley, he was wearing his love for Clementine everywhere .
Despite Ginny making Oakley sweat a little, they helped him plan the kind of grand gesture that would win over literally anyone. They enlisted Mack as well, so they could use the new shop space as the primary location. With everything in place, all they had to do was play their assigned parts and hope like hell it all worked out.
It was the second day of the Spring Food Fling and she was wandering through the park with Ginny and Clementine. They’d tried food and coffee from other stalls and found them all lacking something, but it was their way of keeping the chef distracted. It also helped to show face because as a local business owner, Daisy knew that it was important to attend these events. She so rarely had stalls at town gatherings, but everyone knew who she was. That was the perk of being the only florist in town.
They walked back to the Pretty Baked stall and she sat to one side, away from the chaos when her phone vibrated.
Rafferty
Cal asked me to bring him pizza, would you like anything from the city?
Just you , she said to herself. She’d left him on read since he started texting and felt guilty about it. But like he said in his texts, that wasn’t the place for them to be having this conversation. Face-to-face was the only option and she was anxious about him coming home for that reason.
Before she could spiral into more thoughts about seeing him, Ginny found a way to distract her. Apparently there were more stalls they needed to check out, more bakeries to intimidate. While that was definitely more Ginny’s speed, being around her friend was a really good way to keep her spirits up.
Until they returned to the stall, where everyone was gathered.
“Miss Daisy!”
“Mister Callahan,” she said, eyes wide with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“Staying with Indigo while Dad’s in the city.”
“Oh, did you have fun with Indigo?”
He nodded, grinning wide. “It was the best weekend. But I miss Dad.”
“I miss him too,” she admitted, but before she could say anything else, everyone was clapping. She turned to see Clementine and Oakley were walking towards them. “Look at them, Gin. We did it!”
“We did good, team,” Ginny said, holding her hand up. They slapped palms with a loud whoop before grabbing cookies for themselves.
Clementine stopped at the stall and pointed at the food in their hands. “I hope you paid for that.”
“I think I’m owed all the cookies I want for the rest of my life,” Ginny countered, reaching for another one and licking it.
Grabbing an extra cookie for herself, Daisy made excuses and left. As much as she wanted to hang around and celebrate with her friends, she was also exhausted. The combination of working long hours the past two days and thinking about how she was going to talk to Rafferty had worn her out. Except, she didn’t want to go back to a quiet house, so she walked to the Patch. Even though it was a Sunday, she’d given everyone the day off so they could attend the Food Fling, so the shop was dark when she got closer.
“Where are you?” she muttered, digging through her bag for her keys.
Once her fingers had wrapped around the bunch, she started for the main door when a large shadow moved on her right and a deep voice said, “Hey.”