Chapter 6 Matthew
MATTHEW
I came out of my room just before noon and almost walked straight into Joshua before I noticed him standing over the credenza.
He had his arms crossed and his head tilted slightly to one side, looking at the set of plans I'd left spread out there two days ago and never put away. He didn't hear me come in because he was so focused on what he was looking at.
I couldn’t resist stopping in the doorway and watching him for a second before I said anything. "That one’s in Pacifica." I came around beside him and smoothed down the upper corner that was curling up. "My client wants to expand his restaurant by renovating some attached retail space."
"Sounds like a big restaurant." He pointed at the outdoor area that used to be a garden center. "Will that be outdoor seating?"
"Yeah, actually.” I raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Did you take an architecture course when I wasn't looking?"
The corner of his mouth moved with the hint of a smile. "I told you I did construction."
"You said you moved bricks."
"I moved bricks, and I paid attention." He pointed to the storefront window line that had my redline markups. "What’s changing on these?"
"We’re raising them. The original transom windows are still intact up top, so I wanna keep those and put in new glazing below." I leaned over the plans and traced the window line with my finger. "Right now, this section is all boarded up so you can't tell, but the bones under there are solid."
He nodded slowly, still looking at all the little details. "What's the timeline for something like this?"
"Twelve weeks, if the permits come through on time." I straightened up and leaned against the credenza. "They usually don't."
He almost smiled at that. "Sounds about right."
I had a million questions on the tip of my tongue and none of them were related to the plans, so I stepped toward the kitchen. "You hungry?"
"Yeah, I could eat." Joshua was right behind me and then took a seat at the counter. “Do you need any help?”
“Nah, I got it.”
While Joshua thumbed through a building and decorating magazine I had on the counter, I made grilled cheese and tomato soup.
It was that kind of afternoon with the fog still floating low over the tree canopy.
We ate at the counter, and I told him more about the Pacifica project and an upcoming brewery renovation I would be starting in Santa Cruz in a few months.
Joshua asked questions that were more informed than I expected, showing a genuine interest and aptitude for construction. It was the first time he got animated and seemed truly comfortable. Like we were just friends having lunch together.
It was nice.
When the bowls were empty, he pulled his knee up onto the stool and looked at me. "So what do you do when you're not working or at a job site?"
"Working out, usually." I stacked the bowls and carried them to the sink. "There's a coastal trail about a mile from here that I like to run on when the weather is nice."
He was quiet for a second and then chewed on the inside of his cheek. "How far do you go?"
"Depends on my mood. Four or five miles on a good day. Less if I'm tired." I turned around and leaned against the counter. "You wanna come with?"
He looked like he was already doing the math on why it wouldn't work. "I don't really have shoes for that."
That was easy to fix. "No problem."
"Or clothes." He said it like that would be a deal breaker. It wasn’t.
"We can take care of both those things." I pushed off the counter and grabbed my keys from the hook by the door. "Let’s go shopping."
“What?” He looked at me like I'd suggested something more complicated than a drive down the highway. "Right now?"
I raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Unless you've got somewhere else to be."
He looked around the kitchen for a second, maybe checking to see if Gerald had an opinion, and then he slid off the stool. "I don’t, but…I don’t have any money. I gave it all to Jeanette, remember?"
As if I could forget. “Don’t worry about that. I’ve got it.”
The sporting goods store was huge and had everything we could possibly need for any sport imaginable. They even had some pickle tennis game that people were clamoring over.
Joshua walked in behind me and was quiet as we approached the shoe wall as if he were already calculating the prices of things he couldn’t afford. "I really don't need anything fancy." He went to the wire bin of clearance shoes. "Just like, a basic pair of—"
"What size?" I went straight to the running shoes I liked the best. I’d tried them all and learned that quality mattered when it came to protecting your knees on trail.
"Ten and a half, but seriously, the cheapest—"
“Try these.” I pulled a pair off the shelf in his size and held them out to him.
He looked at them and then at me. "Those aren’t the cheapest."
"They're the best." I waited for him to grab them. "Just try them on."
Reluctantly, he took the box and sat on the bench. When they were on, he got up and walked a loop around the shoe aisle to test them out. “I feel like I’m walking on marshmallows.”
“I know.” I grinned as I put his old shoes in the box and tucked it under my armpit. “I have the same pair.”
He flexed his fingers like he was uncomfortable letting me spend money on him, but he kept his mouth shut. “Thank you.”
I grabbed two packs of socks since his were a bit threadbare, and then we headed to the apparel section. He really didn’t like shopping for himself, but I managed to find a full wardrobe of casual wear that I was dying to see him model.
"You don't have to do all this." His eyes were like coasters as he watched the total climb on the register LCD.
"I know." I wasn’t rich, but I could certainly handle some clothes and shoes.
He huffed in frustration as my credit card came out. "I'm serious. I'll pay you back."
"I know that too." I smiled at the cashier to ease the concern on her face. "It's fine, Joshua."
He stood beside me with his jaw set and didn't say anything else, but when we left, he held the bag on his lap the whole drive home, so I knew he planned to take care of them.
"Do you run much?" He’d seemed excited by the offer, but we hadn’t talked about his experience.
"I ran crosscountry in high school but not much since then." He shifted in the seat and tilted toward me. “I’ll probably be a lot slower than you, but maybe just going out and back a little bit will be a good start. I’m super outta shape.”
I grabbed his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. "I don’t go fast, and I don’t mind wogging while you get back into it."
"Wogging?" The almost-giggle in his voice made me smile too. “What’s that?”
"A mix of walking and jogging. We’ll go slow and walk as often as we need to. It’s just nice to get fresh air and spend some time outside."
He nodded and sat back in his seat, facing forward. “I guess I haven’t thought about doing either of those in a long time. That does sound kinda nice.”
The coastal trail went through the cypress trees and opened up along the bluffs, with the ocean spread out on our left and long grass on the right.
The fog had lifted, so we could see a good distance out over the water, and the view never ceased to take my breath away.
That and the rigorous pace I usually ran at.
But we started slow because I didn’t want to discourage Joshua. A quick text from Artie assured me that Joshua was physically healthy but needed stability and time to process his recent decisions. And some wins. He definitely needed some wins.
I figured a rolling jog would be a good starting point, and we could walk if he got a stitch in his side or just wanted to catch his breath. But he settled into a good pace within the first few minutes, and I was the one trying to keep up with him.
“You sure you haven’t done this since high school?” As I said the words, I realized I didn’t know how long ago high school actually was. “Was that like last year?”
He chuckled and glanced at me over his shoulder as he dodged a tree limb in his path. “More like six years ago, but I always liked running. It’s a cheap and easy way to turn off my brain.”
Indeed. And having him a few feet ahead of me gave me an excellent view of his bubble butt in those tight little running pants I bought him. Maybe he needed a few more pairs of those.
We ran along the cliff for a minute, and I did my best to ignore the urge to tell him to be careful.
He knew to be careful. And I trusted him.
He promised not to leave without telling me, and I believed he meant it, but when he abruptly stopped and turned toward the edge, my heart nearly stopped too.
“Joshua.” I quickly got to his side and held my hand up behind his back, ready to grab his shirt if he leaned forward but not actually touching him. “Everything okay?”
He closed his eyes and threw his head back as he held his arms out wide. “I just can’t believe I’m here.”
Uh… I wasn’t sure what he meant by that. “Like, here on a run?”
“Yeah. Here. Running. Alive.” He exhaled and lowered his arms to his sides before looking straight out at the horizon.
“It’s surreal. Just twenty-four hours ago, I was getting rid of everything I own because I wasn’t going to live through the night.
And today…I’m out on a run in the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn with the hot…
um, the nicest guy I’ve ever met.” He shook his head again, seemingly confused by his current reality. “It’s wild, man.”
My shoulders relaxed a bit, and I took a step closer, standing beside him instead of just behind him. “Life is a wild ride, but it’s a lot more fun with friends.”
He turned to me and grinned. “Are you my friend, Matthew?”
Friend. Lover. I wasn’t gonna get hung up on labels. “I hope so.”
“Well, I haven’t had any real friends in a while, so I’m probably shit at it.”
I didn’t believe that for a second. “Jeanette would say otherwise. And Artie seems very taken with you.” The heavy moment seemed to be weighing on him, and I didn’t want to ruin a great day. “Race you to the parking lot.”
I didn’t even get the full sentence out before Joshua took off at a full sprint. I didn’t expect him to be so damn fast, but that kid had wheels.
We took a short break to watch a breaching whale out in the distance and turned around to go back. When we got back to the trailhead, Joshua put his hands on his knees to catch his breath and then straightened up.
He seemed like he was gearing up to say something important, so I waited without saying a word.
When Joshua finally opened his mouth, he had a look of wonder on his face that made me want to hug him. "Thank you."
He’d already thanked me a hundred times for the shoes and clothes. This better not be one hundred and one. "For what?"
He was quiet for a second, like he was trying to find the right word for something he didn’t know how to describe.
"I’d forgotten what this feels like." He looked back at the water and then at me.
"Being out with someone I could trust, working myself to exhaustion…but in a good way. I wasn’t in my head at all. At least, not over bad things."
“First of all, you’re welcome. This does feel pretty great, and I’m happy you’re here with me.
” I clasped my hands together and lowered my chin, weighing whether or not I should push forward.
I should have stopped there, but I couldn’t.
It wasn’t like me to leave an opportunity unexplored.
“And secondly, what are the good things you’re in your head about? ”