Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
I f you asked him what he ate for dinner, Oakley wouldn’t be able to recall a single thing that had been set in front of him. Because all he could think about and focus on was Clementine. Everything about that week had taken him by surprise, but her saying she wanted him was definitely the icing on the cake. He realized that he might have been pushing too hard and definitely didn’t expect the confession about Xander . If Oakley ever crossed paths with the dude, he would show him just what he missed.
The crazy part was when he’d woken up that morning, wrapped around her, he had thought about asking her to be his . He liked that she did whatever possible to help when he felt like he was lacking. After rehab nobody had been patient with him. For all her bristle, frowning and eye rolling, Clementine was the softest of them all.
She brought him cake tasters, made special batches of donuts and cared about him. She might be hesitant about relationships and him, but she was exactly the kind of person he was meant to be with. He’d never felt this way about someone before and it was this intense, all consuming kind of feeling that he hadn’t expected. He craved and ached for her all the time. It was intoxicating how deeply she’d seeped into his soul. To be cared for and wanted in equal measure by the woman he desired was a big deal.
After dinner he suggested they go back to his place. He was prepared for her to protest, but she climbed into his Jeep without argument. They’d been spending nights at her house because it kept them far away from prying eyes. Taking her back to his place was a reminder that they were not a secret.
Plus, he wanted her to meet the other woman in his life.
The drive and elevator ride to his apartment was filled with simple chatter—how was his food? Was there something specific he wanted to try next time?—and once he let them inside, Oakley had her pressed against the door. Her head was tipped back and he stared into her beautiful eyes, her hands at his waist.
“More important question is, do you still have a crush on me?”
“Absolutely not. I got over you,” he mumbled and her fingers curled into his side.
“Is that so? Then what are we doing here?”
“We agreed to fuck, so that’s what we’re doing.”
“What if I want your affections before I do that?”
“Then you’ve got to work harder.”
He chuckled and dipped his head, her soft lips brushing against his. The kiss was interrupted by faint laughter on the other side of the door and he pulled back when he realized it was Frankie and Milo.
“Should we say hi?” she asked.
“Not tonight.” Hooking a hand into the waistband of her jeans, he tugged her towards him. She came willingly and the minute her stomach bumped into him, Oakley pressed his mouth to hers again. She sighed softly and returned the kiss, rubbing her lips slowly against his. He flicked his tongue out and parted her lips, hand tangling in her thick hair as he cupped the back of her head. Clementine returned the favor by pushing her fingers through his hair, angling his head just the way she wanted him.
Her tongue swiped over his and he pulled her closer, their hips lined up so she could feel how hard he was for her. A soft grunt and a hum filtered between them as the kiss broke.
“Maybe I do like you,” she said, beautiful brown eyes blinking open to look up at him.
“Not a crush?”
“You’ve had your fingers and tongue inside me, we’re way past crushes.”
“I haven’t had my tongue inside you yet.” Because they were standing flush, he felt her shiver at his words. Before he could say or do anything else, nails moving quickly on the wooden floor filled the apartment. Clementine’s eyes widened and fingers tightened in his shirt before she looked past him as the sound stopped.
“Who is this?” she asked softly, extracting herself from his arms to squat in front of his dog. Clementine stretched out a hand and his golden girl didn’t even hesitate to sniff, lick and nuzzle their guest.
“That’s Gracie. She’s sort of my support animal.”
She looked up at him, forehead wrinkled. “Support animal?”
“I sometimes need to be reminded to calm down when things get hard.”
She watched him for a long moment and nodded, not pushing for more. He’d told her pretty much everything about his history, and while he wasn’t ashamed of his anxiety or bad days, it happened so rarely now. In fact, ever since he met her, it had probably happened once. If Gracie could speak, she’d tell him it happened a lot more than that. There had been a few nights when he woke up with a start to find Gracie’s paws on his chest, tiny face staring at him in concern.
“How do you feel about hot cocoa?” he asked.
“I feel very good about hot cocoa.”
The smile she flashed made him melt. When Gracie hurried over to him, he scooped her up and kissed the top of her head.
“Make yourself comfortable.”
As she wandered around the apartment, taking in the mismatched details, he watched her from the kitchen. He filled Gracie’s bowl with food and water then got started on their drinks. His eyes kept drifting to Clementine, wondering how she saw his apartment after the beauty that was her home. It was a one bedroom place with a large area that consisted of a living room, dining room and an open kitchen. He’d picked up a lot of the furniture at garage sales and secondhand stores, so everything had a loved and lived-in feel, and nothing matched.
When she opened the balcony doors off the main room, Gracie followed excitedly. Clementine stepped outside and he could no longer see her, but he could hear her muffled voice as she spoke to Gracie. He smiled and finished putting their hot cocoas together. Carrying the drinks out, he found her leaning against the handrail, hair fluttering in the cool breeze. Gracie had made herself comfortable in one of the patio chairs he’d set up, but she watched his every move. He stood behind Clementine, hands resting on the railing on either side of her.
“It’s really beautiful here,” she said softly.
He kissed the side of her head, eyes closed as he inhaled her vanilla and sugar scent. “You definitely make it better.”
“Such a cliché.”
He laughed and burrowed into the high neck of her sweater so he could press his nose to the soft warmth of her neck. She hummed and rocked back against him, her ass pressing into his crotch.
“Thank you,” she said after a long moment, her voice soft.
“For what?”
“For being you. For wanting me.”
“My absolute honor.” She turned to look at him and Oakley smiled. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Knowing that you felt something for me is pretty fucking special too.”
“I mean…it was all surface level at first. Because you’re infuriatingly attractive.”
“Are you saying that you’re not attracted to me anymore?”
“Be serious, Oakley.”
He laughed at the huffy tone of her words. “I’m serious, baby.”
“Would I be here if I wasn’t attracted to you?” The look she gave him would burn a lesser man, but he soaked it up. Because from the day they met, that’s how she looked at him. “But I’m here for more than that.”
“What are you here for?”
“You,” she replied promptly and he felt that in his chest.
“I’m here for you too.”
“I know.”
With a slight stretch of her neck, she pressed a kiss to his jaw and he sighed softly. Forget like and crushes , this woman was going to own him body, heart and soul, and it would be better than anything else in the whole fucking world.
“I’m going to fall in love with you, Clementine. You better be ready for it.”
Eyes widened and lips parted, ready to protest. But he didn’t give her a chance when he stepped back and gestured to the hot cocoa.
“We should probably drink that before it gets cold.”
Had it been anyone else, he’d talk to fill the silence. With Clementine, silence was totally acceptable. It had a lot to do with the fact that the woman was so fascinating to watch because she was fidgety as hell. First, she slurped her hot cocoa, then she spent a few minutes rubbing her sock-covered feet together. Then she struggled to tuck her legs onto the chair before giving up and slumping into her seat with a pout. Gracie had climbed into her lap when she sat down. With all this fussing, his dog had wandered off to find another soft spot to sleep. He would have laughed had it gone over well.
Her dark hair fell down past her shoulders in messy waves and her makeup free face was flushed, drawing his attention to her long lashes that fluttered against her full cheeks every time she closed her eyes to take a sip. He hadn’t been joking earlier when he said he would fall in love with her. He was on the edge already and they were still getting to know each other. But what he knew about her? He was obsessed.
“Gimme your feet,” he said when he noticed her flexing her toes and rotating her ankles. She hesitated, frowning at him. “Come on, Clem.”
After one of her famous eye rolls, she adjusted her chair so it was facing him and then one at a time, she set her feet in his lap. Oakley put his drink down to peel off her socks, then with both hands he gently massaged her soles. Clementine gasped at the contact and then settled, eyes fixed on his face as he pressed his thumbs along the instep.
“What’s a lyric you’ve always sung wrong?” he asked.
She smirked and ran a finger along the rim of her mug. “‘There’s nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do.’ From “Africa” by Toto. Even now, I refuse to believe that it’s anything but men on Mars.”
Oakley laughed. “Mine is ‘Dreams of dragons fire, and of things that will bite’ from Metallica’s “Enter Sandman”.”
“Would you stop being my friend if I said I’ve never listened to Metallica?”
“They’re not for everybody, so I’ll forgive you.”
She tilted her head. “An artist everyone should listen to?”
“Fleetwood Mac and Pearl Jam.”
“Point me in the direction of someone who doesn’t like Stevie Nicks or Eddie Vedder and we’ll have words.”
His heart soared at the passion in her voice and he smiled. “I knew I picked you for a good reason,” he said and put his focus on one foot. “What is your comfort food?”
“Cereal.”
He forced his heart to beat regularly, because how dare she do this to him. “That’s mine.”
“I see the value in it now.”
“Clem…” She arched an eyebrow, sipping on her hot cocoa. “Before cereal changed your mind.”
“Bagel with as many layers of cream cheese as I can fit onto each side.”
“Can’t go wrong with a bagel,” he agreed, dragging one hand up around her ankle, squeezing it gently. “If you were to change your name, what would you change it to?”
She opened her mouth, then frowned and pressed her lips together in a pout. He wrapped his hands around both her heels and squeezed, his thumbs rubbing against the balls of her ankles. The fact that she was thinking about it so much amused him.
“When I was growing up, I wanted to be Florence. It was my paternal grandmother’s name, but someone else got to it before me.”
“Let’s go steal it from them.”
She laughed and wiggled her toes. “She can keep it. I like Clementine now.”
“I like it too.”
“Would you want to change your name?”
Oakley nodded, flashing her a playful smirk. “Something that you can shorten and works as a nickname.”
“You’re hilarious,” she deadpanned and pulled her feet away. “Do you believe in ghosts and aliens?”
He leaned back, legs stretched out and arched an eyebrow. “Seriously, that’s what you want to know?”
“Answer the question.”
“Yes to ghosts, no to aliens. You?”
“Yes to aliens, no to ghosts.”
“Baby, come on.” He leaned forward, because how could this woman not believe in ghosts? “Ghosts are real.”
She leaned forward as well. “Ghosts are dead people, which is not real. Aliens exist, how else do you explain all of the shit happening around us?”
He stared at her for a minute and groaned again. “I might change my mind about falling in love with you.”
Clementine rolled her eyes and kissed the tip of his nose. “What’s the first part of a grocery store you visit?”
He almost missed her question, nose still tingling from the soft kiss. Blinking, he said, “Uh, snacks?”
“What’s your go-to snack?”
“Chips, at the store. Donuts if I can get to your shop first.” She smiled and bumped her foot against his leg. “If we were in high school together, would you have written me a love letter?”
Her expression shuttered and he realized his mistake too late. She looked away and swallowed, he watched her throat bob and winced. When she’d told him about her crushes, he’d seen how vulnerable she was. How it cut her to talk about it at all. And what did he do? Try to stroke his ego all while hurting her.
“Clem, I’m sor—” she stood up before he could finish the word and walked inside. He blew out a frustrated breath and silently scolded himself for not being more conscious of how something like that would hurt her. Pushing to his feet, he walked to where she stood at the sink.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to…”
“I know,” she interrupted him, “and any other day, I might have taken it as playful banter.”
“I’m so sorry, Clem.”
After a long moment, she whispered, “I would have written a poem about your beautiful eyes.”
His breath caught in his throat and he stared at her as she did the same to him. “I’d have been stupid over you in high school.”
“We never would have had anything to do with each other.”
“I’d have worshiped the ground you walked on, Clem. I plan on doing it now, so I would have done it then.” She blinked and he lifted a hand to brush her hair back. “I was callous, saying that without thinking. Let me show you how much you mean to me.”
She hesitated, teeth worrying her bottom lip as they stared at each other. If she chose to leave, he wouldn’t blame her. Oakley hoped that she’d give him a chance to truly make it up to her.
“I might have an idea on how you can do that,” she said softly and moved around him. He frowned as she rummaged around in her bag and pulled out a purple satin pouch.
“What is that?”
“Bought a new one,” she said and opened the bag to reveal a matching purple vibrator. “It fits in my bag.”
His heart tumbled, but he forced a smile. Oakley knew what they were doing was supposed to help both of them get comfortable with sex. But he thought after their conversation earlier, things were moving in a different direction. He’d obviously read too much into what was said.
Clearing his throat, he took a step towards her. “Have you used it?”
“Took it out of the box to clean it. Thought you could use it on me.”
“In a heartbeat.” He took the vibrator from her, turning it over in his hand. “May I kiss you?”
“Where?” she breathed out.
“Everywhere.”
“Yes, please.”
Cupping her jaw in one hand, he leaned in and started with a soft kiss against her mouth. This woman was going to be his ruin and now he was conflicted about it.