Chapter 21
Dex
We spend another ten days fighting the fire.
Korren has deep shadows under his eyes by the third day, and a couple times I’ve woken up at night to see him staring up at the top of the tent, jaw tight, face pale.
Whenever that happens, I want to curl myself around him and tell him I’ll keep him safe, but I know he’d never let me.
Then, during the day, he throws himself into his work as if he’s not tired at all.
And I’m starting to see that he acts completely different around me than he does with the rest of the crew.
With me, he’s happy to joke around and trade offhand comments while we work.
But as soon as someone else is near, he shuts up and withdraws and I don’t hear anything out of him until we’re alone again.
The longer the fire drags on, the more I appreciate the simplicity of his company.
I don’t have to act tougher than I am around Korren.
I don’t have to be funny if I’m too tired.
He’s the one I work beside every day, hacking down black spruce and beating the flames from smoldering grasses, and he’s the one I sit with every night at dinner. We make a damn good team.
But it’s a good thing I’m so exhausted I collapse as soon as I crawl into our tent, because I haven’t forgotten the feeling of Korren’s mouth around my cock, and I wake up every morning with a boner.
I really need to hook up with some girl—a tourist, preferably, who will leave my life forever as soon as we’ve slept together—so my dick stops thinking Korren is a reasonable alternative.
When I’m not thinking about Korren, I start trying to imagine my future.
I’ve been stuck on what happened after I got arrested for so long that I haven’t had the mental space to consider anything beyond keeping myself afloat in the short term, but something about spending time with Korren has me back to considering where I’m going in life.
I don’t think I can do this job forever. Maybe one more season, and then I’ll have to move on to something else. I enjoy spending time in the wilderness, just not in such a boring and physically punishing way.
The problem is, there aren’t many jobs to choose from in Copper Creek.
As much as I love home, it wasn’t that long ago that I was intending to get my feet under me a bit, build up enough savings to start over somewhere else, and then move away.
But now I don’t even want to think about leaving.
I’m not sure what has changed.
Then, sooner than I expected, we’ve got the fire under control and it’s time to head back to civilization.
We’re all quiet on the flight back. Several of the crewmembers fall asleep, their heads hanging back on their seats, and the rest of us steadily eat our way through the remaining energy bars that we’ve been rationing.
When the helicopter lands, I see Korren jolt out of a doze. He looks completely wrecked—it’s a good thing we aren’t staying at the fire any longer.
We stagger back toward our cabin in silence, the flat paved ground strange underfoot after so many days of soft tussocks that hid like basketballs under a cover of grass, just waiting to break an ankle if we stepped wrong.
Our kitten is waiting at the door, and when it launches itself at Korren, mewing and curling against his legs, I see him melt.
“Poor little thing,” Korren says, scooping the kitten into his arms and scratching it under the chin. “Let’s get you some food, shall we?”
Korren throws a hopeful look my way, and I smile sheepishly. “I’ve saved a can of tuna from the fire. Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to let her starve.”
“I’m amazed she’s still hanging around after all this time,” Korren says.
“Don’t underestimate the power of a good meal.”
I get the first shower, since Korren is too busy smothering our kitten with love, and soon we’re both clean and dressed and digging into a pot of macaroni and cheese that I kept from our supply at the campsite.
We’re doing better for food than we have since we got here, actually, with the amount of extra rations I’ve squirreled away in my bag.
We’re sitting around the too-small table, and when I shift and knock knees with Korren, it immediately does strange things to me.
Even though it’s not my turn, I can’t resist making another dare.
“Hey, Korren.”
“Yeah?”
“I dare you to share my bed from now on. With cuddles.”
It’s worth coming up with that just for the look of outrage on Korren’s face.
“That’s not fair!” he sputters.
“Why not?”
“You wouldn’t have come up with something like that unless you actually wanted it! Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a fucking miserable time.”
“Or maybe I knew you were strongly anti-cuddle, and I thought this might be your breaking point,” I tease.
“Fuck you.”
He does seem genuinely angry, and I wonder if I’ve pushed him too hard at the wrong moment.
He’s sitting stiff-backed in his chair, expression thunderous. I still don’t know if he’s going to agree to the dare.
Then he meets my eyes with a look of wild intensity. “It’s my turn to give you a dare, Dex. Before we have any talk of bed-sharing, I dare you to let me fuck you.”
Something wrenches inside me, and then the feeling travels down to my dick, which is threatening to harden.
“Shit, Korren. That’s going way too far.”
The tension in Korren’s face eases, and he leans back in his chair, clearly pleased that he’s taken control of the situation. “Are you saying I’ve won?”
“I need more time to think about it. This is pretty fucking serious, Korren.”
“Isn’t that the whole point?”
My mind is twisting itself in knots right now, and I’m suddenly desperate to be alone. I finish off my mac ’n cheese in a hurry and then lock myself into the bedroom, dick throbbing and sweat itching the back of my neck.
I swear I’m not into guys. I keep thinking back to whether I’ve so much as looked twice at a guy before, and the answer is no. I’m a hundred percent straight.
So why is Korren messing with me like this? Am I so desperate for sex that I would’ve latched on to any human who ended up spending too much time around me?
I’m freaking out a bit here, because I’m really fucking turned on by the idea of having sex with Korren.
And I already know I’m going to go through with the dare. I just need to prepare myself.
I pull out my phone, praying I’ll have a few bars, and the internet gods must have a sense of humor, because my usually shitty service is working fine and I’m able to bring up a website that talks all about condoms and lube and preparing your partner and different positions to try.
Shit. This suddenly feels way too real.
With a trembling hand, I drag my cock out of my pants and start stroking away the now-painful boner.
I know Korren is the one who’s going to be fucking me—which, let’s be honest, is the least gay way to have gay sex, so of course that was his dare—but my mind is full of the images I just saw, and instead of a couple bad illustrations I’m seeing myself sinking my cock deep into Korren while he sprawls on his back, lean stomach bare to show his abs, hunger in his eyes.