Chapter Fifteen - Sebastian
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Sebastian
“ARE YOU SURE you don’t want to come in with me?” I ask again, despite Kiera’s insistence about not going in.
Kiera averts her eyes, looking at her phone instead. “I’m sure.”
I don’t know what to do, but I’m not sure if I want to push her. Kiera’s been on edge and stressed—which is part of the reason we’re taking this trip. This weekend is supposed to be about relaxing after a week of finals, and getting us back on track. I for one could use the vacation and time away to breathe, and I think Kiera needs it as badly as I do.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes then,” I say, leaning over to kiss her cheek gently. Zeus whimpers in the back, his tail thumping against the seats.
I let him out, grabbing the bag of his things, and we walk toward Thalia’s front door where he’ll be staying with her for the weekend. I originally asked Owen, but he and Blake are also going out of town for a work convention at Blake’s company. He suggested I ask Thalia, reminding me how excited Zeus was to see her at that awful dinner .
I couldn’t believe it when she agreed without asking any questions. It was a short conversation, only long enough for Thalia to say when I could drop him off before hanging up on me.
“Dude, don’t fall in love with her. You have to come live with me again after,” I warn Zeus, who is already wagging his tail faster. I know better than anyone how easy it can happen.
I shake my head, climbing the stairs to knock on the front door. Thalia opens the door a few seconds later, and Zeus whines loudly, immediately demanding her attention. Yeah, I’ll be lucky if he wants to come live with me again in a few days.
“Hey,” I greet awkwardly, trying to wrap my brain around being in the same vicinity as Thalia, even if it’s only a couple of minutes.
“Hi,” Thalia says, dropping to her knees to give Zeus her full attention.
“I brought all of his stuff: food dish, water bowl, his favorite toys, leash, treats. If he needs anything else, just let me know and I’ll pay you back when we’re back in town.”
“Sebastian, he’s a dog. Water, food, potty breaks every few hours. It’s not rocket science,” she jokes, looking up at me from her position on the ground.
Maybe this was a bad idea. I set the bag on the ground, scratching the back of my neck. “If it’s too much, I can call Alec and ask if Zeus can come with us.”
“You’re acting like I didn’t take care of him when he was much higher maintenance as a puppy. We’ll be fine,” Thalia says, trying to reassure me as she stands up. Zeus yawns, and walks into the house like he’s been here a hundred times before .
“Are you sure?” I ask hesitantly.
She rolls her eyes, reminding me of the girl I fell in love with. “Yes. God, it’s a good thing we never had kids because if you’re this uptight about a dog, I can’t imagine what that would look like.”
My stomach drops at the thought of us having kids. “Right. I guess it was a good thing we didn’t have any.”
It feels like chalk in my mouth, and her smile immediately fades. “You don’t want to keep your fiancée waiting,” she says, turning away to avoid looking at me. I follow behind her, taking advantage of the door not being shut in my face. I do want to say goodbye to Zeus before I leave.
Penelope is sitting on the couch, her body language telling me she overheard the conversation. “ Salut .” I want to lighten the mood after Thalia’s mention of kids, but smiling is an effort. One of the hardest things about my breakup with Thalia that I hadn’t expected to hurt as much as it did, was the end of my friendship with Penelope. She was the one who painfully spent time teaching me all the basics of French, and surprisingly, we ended up friends.
“ Connard .”
My smile feels less forced now, and Zeus nudges my leg with his nose. “We’ll be back Monday. Call if you need anything.”
Thalia is still avoiding looking at me, and it doesn’t make me feel good. I shouldn’t care. We’re not friends. We’re not anything anymore. That’s what she asked for, but I thought maybe now that Kiera knows everything, we could form some semblance of a friendship. It was wishful thinking .
Thalia guides me to the door, smiling tightly at me. “Goodbye,” she says, shutting the door in my face.
I stare at it briefly, before laughing. I walk back to the car to see Kiera watching me cautiously. Her face shifts to a faint smile, but the doubt is still in her eyes. “What’d Thalia say?”
“That they’re going to be fine. She called me uptight, which is nothing new coming from Thalia.”
“Okay,” she says, taking a deep breath.
Picking her hand up, I press my lips to the back of Kiera’s. “You have nothing to worry about. I don’t see Thalia that way, and I haven’t in a long time.” It’s getting easier to say, which makes it easier for me to believe.
Kiera sighs, closing her eyes for a moment before looking me in the eyes. “I know, Seb. I trust you.”
I kiss her hand again, causing her to relax a smidge and smile. “Good. What do you say we go to the beach now?”
~
Kiera’s sunbathing in the sand with her book, and I stop for a moment to admire her. She looks so at peace. It’s nice to see. I haven’t seen her this at ease in weeks. Honestly, I haven’t been either. I stand by my belief that life is easier at the ocean with a breeze in the air, the sun on my back, and the sound of waves is music to my ears.
Her eyes drift up over her book, landing on me. Kiera raises an eyebrow questioningly, but all I do is smile in response.
“Are you going to join me or stare at me?”
“How about both?” I ask, letting my eyes roam over her bikini-clad body .
She sets her book down, crossing her arms over her chest. “Tempting, but remember, no touching,” Kiera reminds me.
I take a seat on my towel in the sand, sitting far enough away I’m not tempted to reach for her. “Says the one who climbed in the shower with me last night. Baby, I don’t think you have any room to talk.”
“Tomato, tamata.”
“You’re only saying that because you know I’m right.” I smirk, reclining back onto my elbows.
Kiera sits up, and my eyes shift straight to the length of her legs. “And your birthday is coming up. Have you thought about what you want?”
At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful asshole, I really miss sex—like a lot, but I refuse to cave before the wedding. We’ve already made it a month and a half, and I can live without birthday sex in two weeks. I need this time to get my mind-set straight.
“Uh, no. Don’t look at me like that,” she warns with a laugh, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Like what?” I ask, feigning confusion. I’m sure it was written all over my face what I was thinking about.
“Like you’re going to rip my swimsuit off me to have your way with me in the sand. No sex for thirty-six more days, buddy .”
It’s a wonderful idea, but it’s not happening. I’ll survive. “If we weren’t celibate right now, you’re right: I would be fucking you in the sand. Maybe this trip was a bad idea. I thought I could handle seeing you in only a swimsuit, but it’s proving harder than I thought it would be. ”
I think I have a talent for underestimating what a disaster things can turn out to be. This trip was supposed to help me relax, not make me horny the entire time.
“You’re being a bit dramatic,” Kiera says.
I stand up, and offer her my hand. “And you’re being a bit boring. Who goes to the beach and doesn’t get in the water?”
She shakes her head adamantly, staring at my hand like I’m poisoning her. “There are sharks in the ocean, and I happen to like reading. I’ll watch you swim instead.”
“That’s like saying I won’t go to Australia because they have spiders.”
“Well, I’m not in Australia, and I’m not in the ocean either,” Kiera says, and I roll my eyes.
“Like way out there! I spent the majority of my childhood in the ocean, and I never got anywhere near a shark. There’s nothing to be afraid of,” I promise, and she finally curls her hand around mine.
“You won’t leave me out there if there’s a shark right?” Kiera asks hesitantly, and I shake my head, pulling her to her feet. “I distinctly remember you telling me that you’d leave me behind if there was a murderer or a bear.”
“I will never leave you behind if there is a murderer, a bear, or a shark.”
“If you say so,” she says reluctantly, allowing me to pull her backward on the private beach toward the ocean.
I’m grateful for this time away with Kiera.
Once we go back to normal life, things are going to be hectic. First, there’s my birthday, and it’ll be my first one without Mimi. Even when she couldn’t remember who I was, I made a point to spend the morning of my birthday with Mimi after she went into the home. Honestly, I’ve been avoiding thinking about my twenty-eighth birthday because I’m not ready to finally be older than my parents were when they died. After next month, I’ll have made it to an age they didn’t. They were twenty-seven when they passed, and now there’s no one alive who remembers them.
Then, there’s the bachelor and bachelorette parties. They’re supposed to happen the week before the wedding, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous for what Owen has been planning. For his, I flew the groomsmen to Las Vegas and what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I have no doubt he’ll try to top it, which is the part that has me worried.
Lastly, there’s the wedding itself. I’m excited for it, but I’m more excited for the peacefulness that will hopefully come afterward. We’re going to Fiji for the honeymoon, and then I have a few weeks before training camp starts.
On top of all of that, we’re house hunting. Our realtor scheduled showings at the house this weekend since we would already be away, and she’s hopeful we’ll have a few offers to come back to.
I drag Kiera into the waves as she stares skeptically at the vast openness behind me. To my relief, Kiera smiles at me, shielding her eyes from the sun. “I’m glad we came. I think we really needed this time.”
It’s a little relieving to hear I’m not the only one thinking it.
I bend down to sweep her into my arms as Kiera starts laughing, wrapping her arms around my neck to hold on tightly. “I think so too. There’s been a lot going on, but we’ll get through it if we stick together.”
“Things are only going to get crazier from here too,” she muses as I wade further into the water until it’s hitting our chests .
“As much as I wish it weren’t, I have a feeling our life together will be pretty crazy.”
Kiera brushes my hair off my forehead gently as she takes a moment to let my words sink in. “Do you ever wish you could walk away from it all? The endorsements, the press, the fame? You don’t seem to enjoy it.”
I’m thrown back to when Thalia asked me so long ago if I liked football, or if I was simply playing because I was good at it. She’s the only person I’ve ever admitted out loud to that I’ve considered hanging up my cleats. That was a long time ago, and it was before I went professional. That conversation needs to stay in the past, along with any thoughts I have surrounding Thalia.
I know how many guys would kill to be in my position, and I’m not trying to take it for granted. I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve earned in life, but I can’t lie and say I’m not jealous of my teammates who are able to keep their personal lives private from the media.
Unfortunately, since I was thrown in during my rookie season while dating my best friend and fellow teammate’s sister, I never stood a chance. The media feels like cockroaches. You can’t get rid of them once you have them.
“Maybe in another life I could, but I love the game, Kiera. I love my team, my coaches, and this year we’re going to make it to play-offs. A life under the microscope is not something I wish for our kids, but we’ll deal with it when it comes to that.”
There’s a splash nearby, probably a fish jumping out of the water, but Kiera lets out a shrill shriek, holding on tightly to me. “I don’t like the ocean.” Her voices wavers, so I take a few steps in toward shore.
“Sharks, or the ocean?” I ask, and she frowns .
“Both,” Kiera answers quickly, chewing her bottom lip as I adjust my grip on her. Her skin is slippery from her tanning oil, making it harder to hold her up, even if she’s lighter because we’re in the water. “When do you want to start having kids?”
“I don’t know. I’m not old yet, but I’m not going to get any younger. Would it be presumptuous of me to say as soon as possible? I know it’s not up to me because it’s your body, though,” I clarify hastily, questioning whether I stuck my foot in my mouth. But Kiera smiles at me, so maybe I said the right thing? I clear my throat before continuing. “What I mean to say is whenever we do get pregnant, I’ll be excited. However, you’re only twenty-five and still in school, so it’s okay if you aren’t ready for kids yet.”
Kiera leans up to kiss me. I hold onto her tightly as she slides her tongue into my mouth, and I’m wondering why I let so many stupid things come out of my mouth when this is the reaction to something thoughtful.
She pulls back, mumbling against my lips. “I want to start trying after the wedding. I went off the pill when we decided we were going to wait until after the wedding. If it’s okay with you, I’d really like to have a baby with you, Sebastian Walker.”
The smile on my face couldn’t be dimmed even if I tried to. “I think that sounds perfect. Besides, we’re going to have so much fun trying,” I promise her, pressing my lips to the spot on her collarbone that makes her squirm.
She lets out a throaty moan that almost convinces me to lose my restraint. Fucking hell, these next few weeks are going to suck. I nip at Kiera’s skin one last time before lifting my head up and lowering her onto her own feet .
“Why’d you put me down?” she asks, and I put a few feet of distance between us.
“Because I love you, and not to continue bringing this up, but you’re driving me crazy with all this talk about babies. Did you by any chance bring a one-piece or something else to wear, because goddamn, you are beautiful.” I splash cold water on my face, trying to calm myself down. I don’t see that happening anytime soon, but I’m so hard it’s painful.
Kiera laughs, seeming completely like herself again. “Maybe for your birthday you can negotiate a blow job.” She playfully winks at me, and this time, I dunk myself under the water.
“That’s not even funny to joke about,” I warn, coming up for air.
“Who says I’m joking?”
I hate my life.