Chapter Twenty-Two - Thalia
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Thalia
AGAINST MY BETTER judgment, I found myself at Eric’s apartment. When we broke up, it was mutual. He was obviously a little more upset than I was, but we agreed to be friends just like the last time we broke up. Except now I’m livid, and I guess it shows on my face because the smile on his face fades when Eric notices my mood. “Hey, everything okay?”
I brush past him into his apartment, crossing my arms over my chest while Eric has the nerve to look confused. “Do you have something you need to tell me?” I ask, trying to keep my voice level.
“Lia, what’s going on?”
“Did you answer my phone when Sebastian called me?” I ask bluntly because I’m done beating around the bush with people. I’m tired because I didn’t sleep at all after Owen left with Sebastian. It’s been driving me nuts all day trying to figure out if I heard Sebastian correctly last night. I almost asked him earlier, but I didn’t see the point. The person I need to ask is Eric .
At least Eric has the nerve to look somewhat remorseful. “Yeah, I did.”
I let out an exasperated sigh, trying to hold my temper together, but it’s a losing battle. “Why the fuck would you do that?”
“Because I was trying to get you to give us another shot. He called you at five thirty the morning after your gallery opening. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was calling. The vibration of your phone woke me up, and I just answered it.”
The morning after the gallery opening? If I had been the one to answer that phone call, everything would be different. “What did you say to him?” I ask, trying to wrap my head around this without screaming at Eric. I understand where he’s coming from; we were about to get back together, but that gave him no right to answer my phone for me, and hide it from me.
Eric crosses his arms over his chest. “Why does it matter? He’s getting married in less than two weeks. All I’ve heard you say about him is how you want Sebastian to leave you alone. That was the message I passed along.”
Don’t stomp your foot. I clench my hands at my side. “It matters because it was my phone, and it wasn’t any of your business!”
“Thalia, he’s never going to leave Kiera. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being the other woman? You deserve better than that.” Eric shakes his head at me, and I know he doesn’t mean it that way, but it’s condescending.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Tell me what he said, Eric. ”
He laughs bitterly. “Bash wanted to talk to you, and I told him to let you go. I said that you’re fine without him and he was causing you pain. I’d love to be wrong about this, but I’m not. Do you not remember how upset you were after that dinner?”
“I was upset because Sebastian told me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that a piece of him still loves me! That wasn’t fair to me, and it wasn’t fair to Kiera, but regardless of how upset I was, it still doesn’t give you the right!”
He scratches the back of his neck, and I spot the flush creeping up it. “You can’t even see that you’re proving I’m right. You were upset because he told you that he still loves you while he is engaged. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that is exactly what Bash was going to say to you in that phone call. Especially when he blurted out an apology before even saying hello.”
I want to scream. I know Eric thinks he had the best intentions when he told Sebastian to leave me alone, but he should have told me. Why the fuck do people even try to keep secrets when nothing stays a goddamn secret anymore?
“I deserved to know that he called and apologized. You shouldn’t have hid that from me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m guessing that he didn’t exactly listen to me if you found out about the conversation. I hope you know what you’re doing getting involved with a soon-to-be-married man. The Thalia I know wouldn’t go there.”
“Sebastian left her.” God, it sounds so terrible saying it like that, but the only people who know are in our immediate circle. The pregnancy is going to be noticeable at some point, but for now I don’t know if Bash wants to tell people or not. Personally, I don’t think I’d willingly volunteer that I was cheated on if I were him, but he can do whatever he wants.
Eric’s taken aback, clearly not expecting that to come out of my mouth. To be honest, I think that’s everyone’s reaction. After talking to Owen and Sebastian, and knowing what I previously knew, their relationship wasn’t perfect. What relationship is? Yet on the outside, Bash and Kiera fit the perfect criteria for what a happy couple is supposed to look like. There’s probably three new articles coming out today to speculate the color scheme of the wedding, and what Kiera’s dress will look like.
“I don’t know if its rude to say congratulations? It’s what you wanted, so I hope things work out for you guys,” Eric says. The words on their own sound rude, his tone is anything but. Eric is a great guy. He’s just not the guy for me.
“We’re only friends,” I say, finally relaxing a bit, and Eric annoyingly smiles.
“Sure you are. I’m going to enjoy seeing how long that lasts for.”
I roll my eyes. “Shut up. You’re pushing it, Eric. I’m mad at you.”
“Can you blame me? We were never going to have a real shot if Bash was going to stay in your life,” he says matter-of-factly.
“No, we probably didn’t have a shot,” I admit. “But being dishonest didn’t help either.”
~
News of Sebastian’s broken engagement hit the tabloids a few days later. Both had to release joint statements due to Sebastian’s job, but rumors were still flying like crazy. Bash has been lying low, and for good reason. The tabloids are jumping at the first opportunity to crucify him for leaving his fiancée. I hate that he’s being painted as the bad guy, but he’s refusing to comment on anything.
So far the story being told is Sebastian is in love with another woman— which isn’t exactly a lie —but it’s not why. The real reason hasn’t made it to anyone outside of his agent, publicist, Owen, Blake, me, and whoever Kiera told. I can’t imagine her telling a lot of people she cheated on him, and is now knocked up.
When we broke up, I was gone within a few days of anyone finding out, making it hard for me to be tailed by people who cared far more about our relationship than they should have. This time I’m here to witness it all. It’s brutal.
Penelope is still in France. I miss her, but I’m jealous she’s away from the shit fest going on here.
Because I was with him during his highly public rookie season, I’ve received some inquiries from celebrity gossip magazines and blogs wanting to ask if I know what happened. I delete all of them as soon as they pop up because I have no interest in talking to anyone.
I did feel better about where Bash and I stand after our talk. We had to get it out in the open, and I think it was really good for us. I’m a little skeptical of the whole just friends thing, but maybe we’ll be able to make it work? It’s worth a shot at least.
Realistically, I think friendship is something we both need. Not that I was too emotionally attached to Eric because of my underlying feelings for Sebastian, but I’m not ready to jump into anything, and it’s definitely not what Bash needs .
We need to get to know each other again. I know I’m not the same person I was four years ago, and neither is he.
One thing that hasn’t changed is my inability to sleep, and Sebastian still struggles with his insomnia as well. It’s not the same as when we lived together, but I don’t feel guilty calling him late at night or early in the morning. He’s caused me enough stress over the past few months that Bash is just going to have to get over it.
“Are you still awake?” I ask after a minute of silence passes. I’m sitting on the window seat in my room, looking out at the night sky. It’s clear tonight, without a single cloud in the sky.
He groans, the sound sending shivers down my spine. “Yes. A minute isn’t enough time to fall asleep, Thalia.”
Fuck. It’s nice hearing him say my name all husky and deep because he’s tired. I’m totally fine. Friends. We’re just friends.
“Well, I didn’t know.” I scoff, rolling my eyes as I put the phone on Speaker to set it down. My hand is getting tired from holding it up. “I talked to Eric.” I don’t specify when I did. It was the same night after Bash came by the gallery, but I haven’t brought it up until now.
I can tell this catches Sebastian’s interest, despite how he tries to stay casual about it. “Oh, what’d you talk about?”
“The conversation you had with him the morning after my gallery opened.” I leave out the fact that was the same day Kiera cheated, but it doesn’t slip my mind. I’m sure it doesn’t slip his either.
Things might have gone so differently that day if I had been the one to answer my phone.
“How did you find out about that? ”
I comb my fingers through Zeus’s fur just to have something to do. “You told me when you were drunk. I wasn’t sure if I heard you right until I asked Eric about it.”
Bash clears his throat on the other end of the phone. “He was right to tell me to leave you alone.”
I know what Eric had to say about the conversation, but I’m curious as to what Sebastian has to say about it. “Why did you call?”
“To apologize, and ask you if I was making a mistake marrying Kiera. I guess I wanted to see if we had a chance to be…well, you know…” Bash admits, sounding a little uncomfortable toward the end. Eric was right.
I hum an acknowledgment because what exactly do I say to that? Hey, I wish you’d still asked me that because I probably would have said yes, it’s a mistake . “Is your favorite movie still Transformers ?”
My abrupt change of subject causes him to laugh softly. “That hasn’t changed—neither have you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, considering I just said I was contemplating ending things with Kiera before I found out about everything because I wanted to be with you, my ego is feeling a little bruised since your only response was to ask if my favorite movie changed. ”
I wish he were next to me so I could smack the amusement out of his voice, but the last thing he needs is to be photographed coming to my house in the middle of the night. The devil works hard, but the tabloids work harder.
The only reason his drunk visit here the night his engagement ended wasn’t photographed is because Sebastian was still engaged in the eyes of the public. They weren’t watching his every move then. Now with the headlines currently going around? He can’t go anywhere, despite how wrong everyone has it.
“Technically, that’s not what you said. I guess I wanted to see if we had a chance to be…well, you know… is a little vague,” I reply, teasing him. “I actually wanted to know if it still was your favorite movie. I think you’re reading too much into this, pal.”
It feels weird to call him that. But that’s exactly what we are.
However, in the days that have passed, I’ve been replaying how Bash kissed me when I opened the door. It was full of need and passion, which is why I got caught in the moment kissing him back until I remembered that it was wrong. Except, then it wasn’t. So I let him kiss me again?
I think I’m giving myself whiplash.
I need sleep. That’ll help.
“Whatever you say, Thalia. I’m only holding my end of the bargain of us being friends.”
“Bullshit,” I say, unable to hide my smile. It shouldn’t be this easy for us to slip back into place.
“Sometimes I think the same thing.”
Why do I feel like that has a double meaning?
I clear my throat, broaching a topic I’ve been avoiding since the funeral. “Do you think about Mimi a lot?”
“Every single day,” Sebastian answers instantaneously. “Actually, I’ve been trying to ask myself what I think she’d say about everything that’s happened.”
“She’d probably tell you some cryptic quote she heard somewhere for you to make sense of,” I say, fondly remembering all the times Mimi did that for me. It was far too many times to count, but she was always right .
“Probably. It’s that, or she’d bring up her favorite word. I forget all the time that I have almost tattooed on my back until there’s a new guy in the locker room who points to it and asks while laughing. All I have to do at that point is motion to this guy, Miles, who is an offensive lineman who got a picture of his naked, now ex-girlfriend tattooed on his bicep. My tiny one is all but forgotten after that.”
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
Sebastian laughs heartily, the sound filling my chest with joy. “I can’t believe Owen never told you about him. He once joked in front of Blake that he was going to get one of her. Blake shut that shit down quickly by telling him if he did, she’d shave his head and write idiot across his forehead. It’s really terrible. Reminds me of a trashier version of ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ from Titanic.”
“Did you really just quote Titanic to me?” There’s no way.
Sebastian’s laughter fades, and I feel the immediate shift. “It’s Kiera’s favorite movie. I’ve watched it plenty of times over the past few years.”
“Have you talked to her?” I ask quietly, debating on whether I should try another abrupt conversation change. How exactly does one comfort their ex-boyfriend about his pregnant ex-fiancée?
“What would I say? Congratulations on your baby?” he asks sarcastically, and I know the frustration isn’t directed at me. Still, I feel bad for Bash. I can’t imagine the shit he’s dealing with that he doesn’t talk about with me.
“No, I probably wouldn’t say that.”
“Not all of us are friends with our exes like you.” There’s an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before and my back stiffens. This is definitely directed at me .
I take a deep breath, giving myself a moment before responding. “It was a question, Bash. I’m sorry for asking. I’m aware not everyone is friends with their exes, but considering the only ones I’m friends with are you and Eric, I wouldn’t think you’d be complaining.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m definitely not complaining, just stressed and jealous,” Sebastian grumbles.
“I’m not sure why. You’re the only one I talk to in the middle of the night.”
Maybe this is my sign I need to close my eyes and try harder to sleep. It’s too easy for me to be sucked into his orbit.
“I’m jealous because Eric could see you anytime he wanted. I’m stressed because Kiera is making things unnecessarily difficult, and the only time I feel like I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than myself is when I’m talking to you.”
“This won’t last forever.” It feels stupid to say, but it’s the truth. Eventually the media will find someone else to hound, and Sebastian and I will be in a better place.
“Yeah, but I’ve already spent four years away from you. It won’t last forever, but it’s not going to go away anytime soon.” He swears quietly under his breath as my heartbeat quickens. He can’t be allowed to say shit like that in the middle of the night. It has me second-guessing my friends decision, despite knowing it’s the right move. “My agent hired a private investigator to find who was selling that shit to the media. Kiera’s best friend is the one behind all the rumors and tabloid gossip. Kiera’s refusing to do a damn thing about it, probably because it portrays her like a saint.”
This isn’t right. It’s not right at all. “You don’t deserve this, Sebastian. ”
I understand why he doesn’t want to speak out regarding what happened because he’s always tried to keep his personal life separate from his career.
Bash is quiet for a few moments, and I’d give anything to read his mind. Thankfully, I don’t have to. “But don’t I? Before I found out, I’d spent the prior two weeks trying to convince myself that I loved her enough to spend the rest of my life with her. I was having doubts for a while. I wanted love to be enough, but I’m a fool.”
The pain in his voice is very real, and it makes my heart hurt. “If it’s the right person, it can be enough.”
“I hope you’re right, Lia.”
Perfect, now this conversation is heading into a territory that doesn’t sound like one that friends would have. We’re really not doing a good job at this. But I’ve heard everything he said tonight and since their engagement ended, and it sounds like Sebastian is lonely.
An idea pops into my brain, and it might not fix everything, but it might make him feel better for a little bit. It might make me feel better too. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Workout, and then calling to cancel more wedding shit. Why?”
“Because I think we could both use a day to relax.”
He snorts, but he doesn’t shut me down immediately. “What do you have up your sleeve? I swear, every time in the past you’ve said that, I end up more stressed than I was before.”
“I’ll pick you up at ten. I’m going to try and get some rest,” I say before Bash can back out.
“Don’t make me regret tomorrow. Try getting some actual sleep, Thalia. ”
There will be no sleep if he continues saying my name like that.
Fuck me.
Wrong words to use right now.
I’m screwed?
Nope, that doesn’t work either.
Damn.