Chapter Twenty-Four - Thalia
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Thalia
I BLINK RAPIDLY, my mouth growing dry at the sight of a single king-size bed, as opposed to the two queen beds we were told would be here. I already kissed him on the beach; there’s no hope of me making it through the night in the same bed as Sebastian fucking Walker.
I should have insisted we drive back, but after an early morning, spending the day swimming, and the emotional turmoil I feel about Chris’s divorce, I’m tired. Hopefully that means I’m too tired to get myself into any kind of trouble.
“I’ll call down and see if they can switch us to a different room,” Sebastian says after a few moments of awkward silence. The last thing I want is to draw any more attention to Sebastian, so I shake my head.
“You don’t need to do that. It’s late; we’ll make it work. I’ll take the couch, and you can have the bed,” I offer because I’ll fit a lot easier on the couch than Sebastian will.
It doesn’t look uncomfortable, but Bash is appalled by my suggestion. “No. You’ll take the bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch. ”
“That’s ridiculous. You’re huge; there’s no way you’ll fit.”
He smiles lopsidedly at me. “That’s what she said.”
I laugh softly at his childish joke. It is good to see him laughing; it means today was a success. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
“I don’t need to tell myself anything. You know better than anyone that if there’s a will, there’s a way,” he reminds me with a smug look, and I feel my face grow warm.
“Bash?”
“Yeah?” he asks, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“If there’s a will, then you will absolutely find a way to fit your happy ass on that couch by the time I’m done showering.” I wink at him playfully as Bash grins beautifully at me.
We stopped at a surf shop next door to grab clothes tonight. I should have thought before tossing all my clothes in the sand earlier, but I was so excited to get in the water. The anticipation of the three-hour drive almost drove me crazy. Almost exactly like the anticipation of spending a night in a hotel with Sebastian could kill me.
Showering will help me clear my head.
I probably shouldn’t have kissed him, but I couldn’t help it. It’s a miracle I didn’t kiss him earlier in the day. Hearing Sebastian say that I was the one he loved unconditionally simply took away all my self-control.
Stepping under the warm spray of water, I cringe at the thought of using hotel shampoo and conditioner, but it’s better than leaving the saltwater in my hair. I lather the shampoo in my hands as memories of Sebastian replay in my mind .
I never had a shot in hell of forgetting him; he’s as much a part of me as my camera is.
We’re playing with fire. I’m shocked we made it through the day with no one recognizing Sebastian until we were at the food truck tonight. I’m afraid of what could happen when I step outside the bathroom because I have little faith in my self-control to keep me away from Bash.
I shut the water off, drying my body quickly with the towels, cringing at how dry my face feels without moisturizer, but this is what I get for planning a trip to the beach without planning to stay the night. Hanging my swimsuit in the shower, I pull my new very oversized shirt on as it hits mid-thigh. In a little bit, I’ll grab the bottoms once they’re more dry since I don’t have underwear.
My cheeks are red from being in the sun all day, and my hair is a wet mess, tickling my shoulders. The thing that immediately draws my attention as I look in the mirror is that the happiness has returned to my eyes.
I was happy without Sebastian, but there’s something to be said about unconditional love.
I shake my head, pushing the thoughts to the back of my head. It doesn’t matter tonight. Bash is on the couch, I’m in the bed, and we’re leaving in the morning.
You can do this.
Inhaling deeply, I open the door, stepping into the area. Sebastian’s pacing immediately ceases as his dark eyes meet mine. The room is immediately charged with electricity sparking between us, and I stuff my dirty clothes into the plastic bag my new shirt came in. “Maybe this was a bad idea,” I say, unable to look at Sebastian. If I look at him, I’m not sure I’ll be able to look away. “We can always split the drive; we’re both night owls. We can be back in Charlotte before we know it.”
“Did you see a snake in the bathroom?” he teases, and I immediately frown.
“Don’t even joke about snakes.” I have a fear of them after Owen brought a black rat snake in the house when we were kids, and I woke up to it curled up in my bed.
He raises an eyebrow, brushing past me to look inside the bathroom as my heart jumps to my throat. “No snake, Lia. It’s almost eleven. Do you have a reason for wanting to leave now when we can go back in the morning?”
I tug at the hem of my shirt as his eyes track the movement, his jaw tensing. No, there’s too much sexual tension. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.
“Forget it,” I grumble, moving toward the bed.
Sebastian catches my wrist, pulling me to him. My breath catches as he gently brushes a knuckle over my cheek as the other slides to settle on my lower back. “No thinking, remember?”
His lips tilt upward into a smile, and I need to put space between us. My restraint is hanging by a thread, and I think Sebastian has thrown caution to the wind. One of us has to remain reasonable.
I swallow, choosing my words carefully. “Thinking might be a good thing right now.”
All my senses are flooded with Sebastian fucking Walker. He moves us backward, bracing an arm over my head. “Thalia, please tell me why you want to go?”
It’s overpowering. Everything about him is overpowering my stupid common sense. I close my eyes because I can’t look anywhere that isn’t him. “Because I don’t trust myself around you. There . I said it. Are you happy now?”
I can’t see the look on his face, and I’m not sure I want to. Now, Sebastian tilts my chin up, but I refuse to open my eyes. If I really wanted to, I could slip away and hide in the bed.
My heart explodes in my chest when his lips graze against mine for the second time tonight.
This is exactly what I thought would happen after seeing there was only one stupid bed in this room.
Instead, all reason slips away as I angle my head up to meet Bash full on.
Earlier, I took both of us by surprise when I kissed him, but if this is happening again, I’d like to enjoy it. You never know when it could be the last time.
Sebastian slowly starts to move his lips against mine, coaxing me into the moment. I rest my hand on his chest to push him away, but desire wins out. I part my lips, pulling him closer to me by the fabric of his shirt. Immediately, the intensity of the kiss heightens.
Oh my god.
I forgot how good it was to let myself enjoy kissing him.
We’re magnets who have been resisting the pull for far too long. His hard body is pressed against me, trapping me between him and the wall. I can feel every inch of how badly he wants me, and it’s driving me crazy.
I loosen my grip on his shirt, sliding my hand underneath the soft fabric to feel the smooth planes of his core. A moan rumbles in the back of his throat as his lips press harder against mine. It’s music to my ears hearing how my touch still affects him, even after all these years. I can feel the need building in my body for Sebastian to touch me, too, and I squirm, trying to create fiction where our bodies fit together perfectly. I’m acutely aware that I left my swimsuit bottoms hanging in the bathroom, and the only thing separating our bodies are his swim trunks.
“Thalia,” he whispers my name like a prayer, and I’m so fucking done fighting this. His forehead is pressed against mine as I slowly open my eyes to meet his. I can feel how fast his heart is beating in his chest, mirroring the beat of my own. Bash slowly cups my cheek in his large hand, the calluses scraping against my skin as his gaze flickers to my lips.
Please don’t stop kissing me.
“What do you want, Lia?” he asks hoarsely, sweeping his thumb over my cheek.
If it weren’t for the wall I’m pressed against, I would have fallen to my knees at that question. What do I want? I want Sebastian fucking Walker.
I am being so stupid, but I don’t care. It’s a delirious feeling.
“You,” I answer simply. “I want you, Bash. I want all the parts that come with you—the good, the bad, the ugly—not just the parts of you that dazzle. I want you in whatever way you can give, but at this exact moment? Right now, I want you to fuck me so hard I’ll never be able to forget it.”
Sebastian inhales sharply, his eyes widening in surprise, clearly not expecting me to admit it so brazenly. “Are you sure?”
I laugh softly. “Yeah, I’m pretty damn sure. It’s exhausting pretending I don’t want you, but if you’re not ready yet, feel free to go shower so I can take care of myself or I won’t sleep a wink tonight. ”
He takes a step back, his eyes trailing over me as he rubs a hand over his jaw. “Show me.”
“What?” I ask nervously, my body trembling with desire.
“Show me how you take care of yourself,” Sebastian repeats, taking a seat in the chair in the corner by the bed.
I follow slowly to the bed, pulling my shirt off as I climb on top of the comforter. My eyes find Sebastian’s dark eyes as he watches me. Leaning against the pillows, I slide my hand between my spread legs, finding myself dripping in anticipation. Only with Sebastian have I ever felt safe enough to try something where I’m in control, but still entirely out of control. I bite my lip as I soak my fingers, circling them gently around my clit. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I am so turned on by Sebastian watching, I might come before he touches me again.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, adjusting his pants as I use my other hand to palm my breast.
“What or who?” I clarify, sinking a finger into my core. It’d be so much better if it was Sebastian touching me, but I have all his attention right now.
“Thalia,” he scolds, and I smile wickedly at him as I add another finger.
“I’m thinking about how I wish you were touching me because your fingers reach spots I can’t. You would curl your fingers to reach that spot that makes my breath catch, and…” My voice falters as I apply more pressure to my clit. I didn’t notice my eyes drifted shut until Sebastian speaks again.
“Lia, eyes on me,” he commands, and my heart is beating fast in my chest. “What do I do next?”
“You fuck me with your tongue, telling me how pretty I am. ”
Oh god. My fingers circle faster as my eyes stay glued to Sebastian as he watches.
“You’re so wet,” he murmurs, dragging a hand through his hair.
“Bash,” I moan his name, and in an instant his restraint has snapped. Sebastian reaches for my wrist as I chase my orgasm, pulling it away to lick my fingers clean. Holy fucking shit. He lies on the bed next to me, unmistakable longing and desire showing in his handsome features.
“I want you to sit on my face,” he instructs, lying on the bed next to me, and I’m so turned on that I don’t think about it longer than a second, positioning myself over him. Sebastian loses his patience before I can settle on his face, yanking me down by my hips. “You’re so fucking pretty, Thalia,” he says, watching me earnestly.
His tongue immediately finds my clit, sucking the bud with the perfect amount of pressure that has me gasping his name again. Feeling his stubble on my inner thigh is erotic, and I roll my hips as Sebastian holds me in place.
Oh my god. I can’t even think straight right now.
I glance down, and the sight of Sebastian underneath me is more than I can handle. Sebastian greedily takes everything I’m offering to him, sending me over my peak as he sucks on my clit again, causing me to see stars as I tangle my hands in my hair.
Fuck, only with him. Only with Sebastian Walker has anything ever felt this good, and this right.
Sebastian lifts me off him, gently brushing my damp hair out of my face as I steady my breathing, coming down from my high. “You never have to ask me to tell you how pretty you are. ”
“I’ve missed you,” I say, my heart cracking wide open for the man next to me.
“I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough times, but I never should have left the restaurant that night. I should have heard you out,” he admits, tears shining in his whiskey eyes.
I lean forward, kissing Sebastian again. I don’t want to think about the past anymore. We’ve lost enough time and suffered enough heartbreak that if anyone deserves to move forward, it’s us.
Our limbs tangle as Bash positions himself over me, his erection rubbing against my thigh. He pulls away to my dismay, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth, my cheek, my jaw, trailing his way down until I feel his lips against my collarbone where my latest tattoo is etched into my skin. He mumbles the French words against my skin. “ Presque toujours. ”
To this day, I think the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me is Sebastian learning French. It feels like something that belongs to us, despite being one of the most popular languages in the world.
“I got it the first time I returned to the States after my time in Africa,” I struggle to get the words out. It was a reminder of what I’d almost had, and what I’d lost.
Almost always.
His hips rock against my leg, and I tug at his shirt, needing to feel his skin pressed against mine. Sebastian smoothly grabs his shirt, pulling it off in one movement. I take the moment to really appreciate the view in front of me. Earlier, I tried to keep from staring, but his body is a work of art, carefully sculpted from all the hours of training and discipline .
Bash starts to lean forward to kiss me again, but I press a hand to his chest, halting him. “Trunks too,” I say, and his lips quirk into a smile.
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is,” I confirm, and Sebastian sheds his swimming trunks, discarding them somewhere in the room.
I’m not at all disappointed by the massive erection that bobs, released from its constraints. Before Sebastian can stop me, I close my hand around the thick shaft causing Bash to hiss through his teeth. “Thalia,” he groans my name as I start to move my hand.
“How do you want me?” I ask, and his face lights up.
“What are my options?” he asks, his hips involuntarily jerking as I apply more pressure on the head of his cock, using his precum as lubrication.
“I can keep using my hand…or I can use my mouth, or if you ask really nicely, you can use my pussy.”
“Fuck yes. All of the above, but first, I want to feel you come on my cock as I use your pussy, as you so nicely put it,” he says, turning me to face away from him. If I had bothered to look anywhere other than Sebastian as I masturbated for him, I would have noticed the mirror facing the bed.
I watch closely as Sebastian lines himself up behind me, and it’s erotic feeling it at the same time as I see it. His gaze meets mine in the mirror, a wicked grin on his face as he pushes into me. I grab the sheets with my hands to stop myself from falling on my face as he hits an angle perfectly. “Lia, you have no idea how good you feel,” he says, holding still to give me a moment to adjust to his size.
I can’t believe this is where we ended up today .
“Do you see how pretty you look, taking me so well,” he taunts, pulling out before thrusting deeply.
“Bash, shut up and fuck me,” I plead breathlessly.
“We both know you love my dirty mouth, but I will use your pussy as I please,” he says, rocking back before driving his hips forward again.
My god, he’s beautiful.
Sebastian’s dark hair flops into his face as he thrusts again, but his whiskey eyes never leave mine. “Still wish we’d left?” he asks through gritted teeth.
I push my hips back, meeting him halfway, a moan breaking free from my mouth.
He smirks, picking up the pace. “I’ll take that as a no.”
It’s absolutely a no.
The only sound in the room is the rhythmic banging of the headboard in the rhythm of his hips connecting with mine, as I hold onto dear life, forcing my eyes to stay on Sebastian. I don’t think I can look away, even if I wanted to.
I shift to reach between my legs, but as if Bash can read my mind, he adjusts the angle to where he can reach below to play with my clit again. It’s sensitive underneath his touch, but it only feels that much better as he pummels into me over and over again. His movements become more erratic, and I can tell by the clenching of his jaw and muscles that he’s holding off to wait for me.
“Come for me, Lia.”
“Sebastian,” I moan his name as I fall apart because of him. Bash follows behind me, his cock twitching inside me as he comes. My heart is racing in my chest as he pulls out, climbing off me as I slump into the mattress, my energy spent. He presses a kiss on my head before disappearing into the bathroom, reappearing a moment later as my eyes fall shut tiredly.
“Lia, spread your legs,” he says, and my eyes open widely.
“Again already? Dude, I’m not superhuman. Give me like five minutes at the bare minimum,” I beg as Sebastian laughs softly behind me.
“I’m cleaning you up. As much as I’d love to take you up on that, what I’d really like to do is hold you if that’s okay with you.”
It takes a lot of effort, but I move my body to rest my head in the pillows, allowing Sebastian to clean me with a damp washcloth. His eyebrows are furrowed, and I can tell his brain is moving a mile a minute.
“Bash,” I say quietly, catching his attention.
“What?” he asks, his face softening as he finishes.
“Are you okay?”
His jaw ticks, and he drags a hand over his face, avoiding looking me in the eye. “I got caught up in the moment, and…I didn’t use a condom.”
Oh. Oh . Now it makes sense why he’s freaking out. “Hey, it’s okay. I have an IUD. The only person I’ve ever been with bare is you, but I got tested at my last OBGYN appointment, and I was negative for everything. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about using one.”
“I didn’t think about it either. I got tested after finding out Kiera cheated, and I was also negative for everything,” he says, relief filling his face. “So we’re good?” he asks hesitantly, and I smile reassuringly.
“We’re good, Bash.”
Taking me at my word, Sebastian flips the covers over, climbing underneath them to pull me into the curve of his body. Bash presses a series of short kisses to my shoulder, causing my heart to sing at the sweetness of the moment. “Do you regret it?” he asks quietly, and despite what Sebastian might think he’s hiding in his voice, the raw vulnerability is clear as day to me.
“No, I don’t,” I answer honestly. Being with and around Sebastian makes me feel complete in a variety of ways, but it’s soon. It’s way too soon, and I know better. I could have walked away before things escalated. “Do you?”
He laughs gruffly. “Absolutely fucking not. I know my life is a disaster, and there’s a thousand reasons we shouldn’t have done that, but I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be right now.”
His strong arm slides around my waist, the weight a comfort that threatens to lull me back to sleep as I listen to the steady sound of his breathing.
This is my favorite version of Sebastian. The one stripped down from all the glamour, who simply wants to love fiercely, and be loved just as hard in return.
“Today was just what I needed.” Sebastian’s voice is a slurred combination of French and English, and I smile.
“I think so too. Part of me doesn’t want to go back to real life tomorrow,” I admit, wishing I could stay in this moment forever.
The back and forth of my brain warring between what I want and what I should do is driving me insane. I’m not oblivious enough to think tonight means we’re back together. At least, I’m not sure if that’s what I want it to mean. I strongly believe Bash needs to sort through his shit, and I’m willing to wait as long as he needs to have him back in my life. Tonight only solidified that Sebastian Walker has ruined me for any other man, and he has no idea .
Tonight was us finally refusing to worry about everyone and everything else in our lives; it was us taking the time to get to know each other again on a physical and psychological level.
“We could stay here—get that beach house, and never look back.”
“That sounds nice,” I agree, closing my eyes with the hope of dreaming that into reality because it would be perfect.
And it really does sound nice.
Unfortunately, luck isn’t on our side.