Chapter Twenty-Five - Sebastian
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Sebastian
I’M WOKEN UP by Thalia slipping out of my arms the next morning. She starts by pulling on my sweatshirt I brought in from my car last night, and a lazy smile forms on my face as I take in the sight of her. “Morning,” I say, pushing myself up onto my elbows. My cock immediately stirs because the only way to describe Thalia right now is she’s rocking the freshly fucked look, a lightness to her that I’ve missed.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she says, but I don’t miss how her eyes trail greedily over my body partially hidden in the sheets.
Is she kidding? If anything, Thalia should have woken me up when she did. I haven’t slept that soundly in a long time. “No, it’s okay. I need to shower, and we should probably get going soon. We have a long drive ahead of us.”
“You should definitely shower; you smell,” she teases, smiling happily at me. I instantly relax because a part of me was worried that Thalia was going to freak out about last night.
I climb out of bed, and her cheeks grow red as she tries to keep her eyes trained on my face. “Well, if I smell, then so do you. Pretty sure there’s a patch of drool on my chest from you sleeping on top of me.”
“You’ll have to wait until I’m done,” Thalia says, her breathing quickening as I step closer.
“I’ll wait, I promise.” Her bright eyes narrow as she considers the double meaning behind my words. I lean down to brush my lips over her cheek, unable to resist the temptation. “Go shower before I change my mind about us being just friends.” For now at least; Thalia and I are inevitable.
She creates space between us, moving backward toward the bathroom. “Your face is scratchy. You might want to think about shaving before you end up with a rat on your face like Owen did in college.”
“I thought it was a squirrel?”
“Both are furry rodents that don’t belong on your face. I’ve got shit to do at the gallery today, and we have a long drive ahead of us, so put that thing away so I can shower,” Thalia says, motioning toward my dick hanging freely.
I laugh heartily, crossing my arms over my chest.
She groans loudly, walking into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.
After spending the last day with Thalia, I feel more like myself than I have in years. With her by my side, I feel as if I can do anything.
Chris was so right, and I was so fucking stupid.
I had no business trying to marry Kiera.
It was so abundantly clear, especially after Lia asked why people bother getting married in the first place. I’m fine without Kiera—sure, the first few days were hard, but the veil clouding my vision has been lifted .
Kiera’s not the perfect person I tried to make her out to be. I shouldn’t have had those expectations in the first place, but it was easy to be blinded by the good. I’m hurt by how my relationship with Kiera ended, as I do have love in my heart for her, but I think I spent more time trying to convince myself of that love than I spent feeling it.
I don’t want a perfect person, but I do think Thalia is perfect for me. She knows I need time, and I think we’re both on the same page of needing to get to know each other again. Last night proved that physical chemistry has never been a problem for us.
Fuck, the last thing I need to do is think about how incredible last night was.
I drag my hands over my face, trying to push the thoughts from my brain. It’s not any easier to forget how Thalia felt wrapped around me last night when it’s my turn to shower, despite turning the water as cold as it will go.
My goal for this car ride back is to keep my hands to myself.
What happens in the hotel, stays in the hotel.
It’s easier to think than it will be to implement.
I towel off, hating the idea of putting on my dirty clothes, but I don’t have a whole lot of options. I also hate the idea of going back to my life, but it’s also another thing I don’t have a choice in the matter of. Sitting on the vanity is a packaged toothbrush next to the one I’m assuming Thalia used, and I’ve never felt more relieved for something in my life.
I might be wearing dirty clothes, but at least I’ve washed my body and my mouth.
Thalia is finishing making the bed when I exit the bathroom, and I bite back a smile. It feels like we’ve traveled back in time. She glances up at me, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Both of our phones are dead. Do you have a charger in your car?”
“Yeah,” I answer, dreading the return of all my problems I won’t be able to escape when it turns back on.
Her cheeks are flaming red, and she glances away. “We’re okay, right? Things aren’t going to get weird because…” She trails off, motioning helplessly toward the bed.
“No, they’re not going to be weird, Lia,” I reassure her. “If I’m being honest, I was a little worried that you were going to freak out this morning.” I’m entirely fucking with her, but it’s so worth it to see Thalia’s jaw drop. I guess I haven’t entirely matured after all.
“Why me? You’re the uptight one.”
“I know I’m uptight, but I’ve got a lot on my plate. Would it be bad if I wanted to stay here forever?”
Thalia shakes her head, an understanding washing over her face. “It’s not bad at all. I don’t know how I’d feel if I were in your situation.”
I take a seat on the edge of the bed, and she moves to sit next to me. “I feel strangely okay, believe it or not. I think I knew I was going down a path I was unsure I wanted; it gives me a chance to fix things I’ve done wrong in the past.”
“Everything happens for a reason,” Thalia agrees.
Despite my reluctance to leave, we have no problems checking out, but the hair on the back of my neck is standing up. It takes only a moment for me to catch sight of the guys with cameras trying to appear nonchalant. “Lia, keep your head down, and keep walking to the car,” I say lowly, dropping the hand I had resting on her lower back .
“What?” she asks, looking up at me in confusion, catching the attention of the group.
“Shit.” I know exactly how this looks. It’s going to feed straight into the narrative that Nina has set into place, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. If the photos I took with fans at the food truck last night were posted anywhere, it’ll show that we’re wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and Thalia’s in my sweatshirt as we’re walking out of a hotel together. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.
A bold one approaches us with his camera ready. “Have a fun night?” he taunts, a wolfish smile as he eyes Thalia next to me. The click of his camera threatens to send me over the edge.
“No comment,” I answer more politely than I want to, trying to get around him to the car.
“Are you the homewrecker who broke up his engagement?” he asks, directing the question at Thalia. His question causes her steps to falter, and I hate this more than anything. I hate that I have to bite my tongue, but anything I say will only throw fuel on the fire.
I switch to French because I don’t need this idiot hearing anything I say to her as I unlock the car. “Get in the car.” Sometimes knowing another language can really come in handy.
For once, she listens to what I have to say without argument, sliding into the passenger seat of my car.
“So the rumors are true. Man, these pictures will go for a lot.”
I don’t bother responding because it doesn’t matter what he thinks. I know how bad this looks, but if I react, it’ll turn the situation into a far worse one. I keep my cool, climbing into the car as the cameras outside flash to reverse quickly without hitting anyone to get us the hell out of here.
“Will you please plug my phone into the charger?” I ask Thalia, doing my best to calm the rage radiating through me. I need to know how bad this is.
This is the part I hate. I hate feeling like I can’t go anywhere without someone seeing me. It was a miracle I made it to Thalia’s gallery opening without being noticed, even by Thalia. I don’t want this part of life. I simply want to play football; the money and fame can disappear for all I care.
Fuck.
Thalia’s silent and staring out the window as I drive toward the highway, my hands clenched tightly on the steering wheel. “Are you okay?” she finally asks, breaking the silence.
“Fine.” I’m not worried about myself; I’m worried about Thalia. I hate that I couldn’t protect her from that jackass calling her a homewrecker, because she’s not. I’m worried that she is going to be crucified in the media for doing nothing wrong.
I sigh, regretting the tone immediately. She’s not the one I’m upset with. “Thalia…“ I start to say, but my phone decides that is the exact moment to power on. A call from my agent, Pat, comes through the car’s Bluetooth system, and I’m certain its the first of many he’s tried to make. I’m sure he’s not the only one who has been calling either.
I hit the button on my steering wheel, declining the call.
“Lia, I’m upset with myself because—” I’m interrupted again by a second call coming through the speakers. I growl in frustration, sending this one to voice mail as well. “I’m sorry for being short. I’m worried about you, and trying to piece together thi—” My agent interrupts again, and I’m ready to fucking throw my phone out of the window.
“Please, just answer it. He’s not going to stop calling until you do,” Thalia says, and I know she’s right.
“Walker, why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?”
“It was dead.”
He laughs in disbelief. “What the hell were you doing staying in a hotel with your teammate’s sister?”
“Thalia’s more than Owen’s sister,” I snap, looking over at Thalia, but the angle she’s turned at doesn’t let me see her face. I shouldn’t have to explain myself. What I do outside of football shouldn’t be anyone’s business.
“Right. She’s your ex-girlfriend too.”
“So what?”
“Did you think at all when you decided to take a trip with her?” he demands.
“What I thought before taking a trip with her is that I’m fucking sick of thinking about how me doing something that would make me happy will affect other people. Is that a good enough answer?”
Pat chokes in surprise. “Look, I’m sorry all this shit is happening to you, but I don’t understand why you couldn’t wait for the heat around you to die down first?”
I take one hand off the wheel to run it through my hair. “How bad is it?”
“It’s really not great, Sebastian.”
Fuck. I should have predicted that something like this would happen. I don’t have the same luxury to live my life as freely as other people. I just wanted to…not think. It sounded so nice .
“You need to consider doing a press conference,” he says, and I nearly swerve into the other lane.
“Absolutely fucking not. I play football. I’m not discussing my personal life with the media. You know where I stand on this.” I’ve been adamant about this since I signed my contract with the Panthers. I’ll show up to whatever is required of me for the team and sponsorships, but I don’t talk about the personal details of my life.
Pat sighs, clearly as frustrated with all of this as I am—except he might be more frustrated with me. “You play professional football, not just football. I know where you stand, but you’re a public figure whether you like it or not, and people are demanding answers. You just ended a three-year-long relationship two weeks before your wedding, and then you were stupid enough to be pictured with another woman a week and a half later frolicking on the beach. I know you don’t want to talk, but Kiera’s friend or whoever the fuck she is, is talking. If you don’t figure out a way to get over yourself, you might get your wish and no one will give a shit about your personal life because you’ll be out of a job.”
“I’m not doing a press conference. Find any other way to handle it.” I hang up, cursing under my breath as I resist the urge to hit my steering wheel.
“I’m sorry,” Thalia apologizes, and I turn my head quickly to look at her, causing her to gasp. “Keep your eyes on the road!”
Fuck this. I flick my turn signal on, taking the exit to pull off on the side of the road. “Why the hell are you apologizing?” I demand, turning to look at her again. This time she can’t protest cause we’re not driving, and she can’t turn away to hide what she’s thinking from me .
The guilt written all over her face causes my stomach to sink. “Because I asked you to come. We could have left after dinner, or hell, even before it. It would have avoided the whole mess about staying at the hotel for you.”
“I don’t care if it was a whole mess. I was with you . I’m not going to stop spending time with you because it’s bad optics for me. That fucker should never have said what he did to you. I’m so sorry, Lia.”
She purses her lips, shaking her head. “Maybe we should go back to giving each other space. I think it’s the best thing we can do until things in your life calm down. I don’t want to complicate it any more than I have by planning this stupid trip.”
“Thalia, you are the least complicated thing in my life right now. If you want space, then I’ll give you space, but last night you told me you wanted every part of me. You have me. You’ve always had me, but this is one of the ugly moments that come with me.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “Bash, I do want you. I think if we want a shot at a future, we can’t do things the way we have before. Everything with us has always been full steam ahead.” Thalia wipes at her cheeks, laughing quietly. “I used to refer to being with you as jumping feet first into the deep end of a pool. I know how I feel about you, but knowing that, I shouldn’t have suggested yesterday.”
I hear what she’s saying because that’s how things always have been between us. Neither of us are very patient people, especially when it comes to the other. “What happened with the photographers is not your fault, and honestly, yesterday was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
“It was for me too,” Thalia says .
“Please hear me when I say that you’re someone I want in my life. I just went the last four years without having you in it, and I see now that I was a shell of the person I am with you. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. It might make me an asshole or the worst person ever, but I never stopped. I don’t know how to,” I say, reaching over to gently intertwine our fingers together.
“I never stopped either,” she admits, dropping her head forward as she clutches my hand tightly. “I’m scared, Sebastian. I want to be in your life, but we…we can’t be stuck in this limbo right now. It’s not good for either of us, and I don’t think I’m capable of just being your friend.” Thalia’s blonde hair is hanging down to hide her face, and as much as this isn’t what I want her to say, she’s right. We’re not capable of being only friends anymore.
I lean forward to brush her curtain of hair back, pressing my lips gently against her forehead. “ Je t’aime. ”
“I love you too.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, wishing for the thousandth time I could go back and redo that night. “I promise I’ll get my shit figured out. Trust me when I say that I don’t particularly want to keep you waiting very long.”
“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to make things harder for you.” Thalia lifts her head revealing her red eyes. “You should listen to your agent—do the press conference. You’ve done nothing wrong, and fuck everyone who thinks you did.”
God, she’s fucking perfect for me. “Unless being in love with another woman when I was supposed to be getting married to a different one is normal, I did do something wrong. I might not have cheated, but I’m not innocent either. You didn’t make things harder so please don’t say that. ”
“Bash, it’s going to come out eventually. Don’t let her carry your name through the mud in the process. Your career and the truth matter.”
I don’t let go of her hand the entire drive home as I ignore every single call from Owen, Kiera, and whoever else has decided that what I do in my free time is their business. The only person’s opinion I care about is sitting next to me.
The only regret I have is how long I stayed with Kiera when I could have been with Thalia all along. We both had some growing up to do, but we found our way back.
That’s what counts.
It’s just going to take a little bit before we can be together.