Chapter 15
Bastien
I found a bar away from the touristy side of town and c lose to my motel as the sun was setting. The interior was dingy and grimy— the perfect place to go unnoticed. It was exactly what I was looking for.
“Give me a glass of whatever’s strongest,” I told the bartender as I sank onto a stool.
“That’ll be moonshine,” he said, taking down a bottle from the second shelf.
“Moonshine?” I asked with raised eyebrows.
“Corn whiskey,” he clarified. “Perfectly legal.”
It wasn’t the legality I questioned but the irony of the name. Even so, I didn’t have the energy to be annoyed.
I might have a kid with Casey.
The bartender—a bald, beefy guy in a white wifebeater that displayed his tattoos—poured the drink without making conversation and made me pay up-front. The glass didn’t look entirely clean, but I didn’t care.
The alcohol burned going down, but not enough to erase my shock.
I tried to think logically. Just because Casey had a kid didn’t mean he was mine. Except the boy had my blue eyes. But I wasn’t the only person in the world with blue eyes. He looked the right age, but I wasn’t an expert on childhood development.
I drained the glass and ordered another. Wolf metabolism meant I didn’t get drunk easily, and I would need a lot more alcohol to drown out my racing thoughts.
I should be focusing on my mission, not worrying about Casey and her kid. I no longer cared why Kildaire had sent me. I just wanted to speak to Frankie and get answers. There was more to the story of my father’s death than I’d been led to believe; I felt it in my gut. If Frankie left the pack, he either had a hand in what happened or knew who did.
The idea of Frankie somehow being responsible for my father’s death—and, consequently, my mother’s since the loss of her mate had killed her—made my insides burn like wildfire. I tightened my grip on the glass.
The psychic’s words echoed in my head. If I wanted to find Frankie, I couldn’t intend to harm him. Otherwise, I’d be stuck in Delta Springs or have to return to the pack empty-handed. Kildaire would be furious, but I didn’t give a damn. The only thing keeping me from staying gone were the people in the pack I cared about. Jules and his mom, the older women who helped raise me, and some of the younger recruits who still looked up to me. They didn’t like the archaic pack rules any more than I did, and I didn’t want to abandon them or leave the only home I’d ever known. But if I didn’t return with Frankie, I might not have another option.
I sighed and sipped my drink. I only had bad choices, and instead of figuring my shit out, I wanted nothing more than to march over to Casey’s shop and demand answers. I wished I’d asked when I was still there, but I hadn’t had the heart to upset the kid.
And if he is mine? Then what ?
“ Bartender?” I said. The bar was filling up, but I ignored the other patrons. The bartender nodded at me. “Another glass of moonshine .”
“ You sure you don’t want to switch to beer?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. “That shit is so strong it’ll burn the hair off your chest .”
“ I’m sure.”
He shrugged and poured me another glass. It burned just as much as the first two, but at least the vise around my head started to ease.
I wished I could get Casey and the kid out of my thoughts. Maybe the next glass would do the trick .
“ Rough day?”
I turned to find a man on the barstool beside me. Even after several glasses of moonshine, I could still smell that he was a shifter—specifically, a mountain lion. A spike of adrenaline broke through the haze of alcohol that had begun to fog my brain. My experiences with mountain lion shifters involved defending our territory and saving Casey from her attackers. The newcomer was covered in scars and looked like he’d seen his fair share of fights. The only thing that scarred our skin was a wound from other shifters .
“ What’s it to you?” I asked. We were surrounded by humans, but I wasn’t sure that would stop him from picking a fight.
He laughed and shook his head. “Relax, man. I’m just making conversation.”
I grunted in response and returned to my drink. I’d finish it and leave. The last thing I needed after the day I’d had was an altercation in a bar.
The mountain lion shifter ran a hand through his sandy hair and flagged down the bartender. “I’ll take a beer and another of whatever my friend here is having.”
I frowned at him, but he didn’t react. The bartender gave us our drinks, and the mountain lion paid .
“ What’s this for?” I asked .
“ Just being friendly,” he said with a half-smile that went a little crooked, thanks to the gnarled scar running through his lips.
I nodded but didn’t understand why he’d cozy up to a wolf—especially one he didn’t know.
“So, moonshine, huh?” His eyes crinkled .
“ Shut it,” I said, with probably too much force. It was clear whatever his deal was, he wasn’t hostile.
He didn’t take offense, laughing as he sipped his beer. There was something familiar about his scent, but I couldn’t place it.
“How long ago did you leave your pack?” he asked.
I scowled. “What makes you think I left my pack ?”
“ Hmm, let me see,” he said, stroking his chin. “You’re a lone wolf who’s trying to get drunk, isn’t used to meeting other shifters, and treats everyone with suspicion. You’ve got all the hallmarks, my friend.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’m just an asshole.”
“Sure, that’s always a possibility,” he said, unperturbed. “But if you had hypothetically left your pack, I’d say good for you, man. It’s not easy, I know.”
“Are you speaking from experience?” I asked in an attempt to turn the conversation away from myself. I was also admittedly curious.
“Yeah, almost five years ago. I was sick of the Alpha sending me and my buddies to die over a piece of land, you know? After a friend of mine got killed, I wondered what I was even doing. Who cared that the forest used to be shared territory?”
An uncomfortable sensation settled in my gut .
“ Kisatchie Forest?” I asked, trying to sound casual. If it was, then some of his scars were probably my fault.
“Yeah, you know it?” he asked, seemingly unaware of my mood change.
I nodded. “I thought the Moon Edge pack owned that territory for generations .”
“ Where did you hear that?” he asked, his brows furrowed. “Nah, man, they took that territory about thirty years ago. I was just a kid then, so I don’t remember, but my parents used to tell me stories from when that forest was free for all shifters. We’ve been fighting to get it back ever since, and for what? To die over a few acres?”
Could what he said be true? I’d defended pack territory for years because I thought Kisatchie Forest was our birthright. All the shifters that encroached on our territory were the aggressors in my mind. My father had died to protect us, and all that for a piece of stolen land?
He seemed genuine, but that didn’t mean he was right, just that he be lieved what he was saying. I’d never questioned our ways , but now, I began to wonder .
“ Yeah,” I finally replied, my voice hollow. “Doesn’t really seem worth it .”
“ Exactly,” he said before taking another drink of his beer. I guzzled my new glass of moonshine, my head still spinning. “Anyway, that’s why I decided to leave. If my old Alpha wants the territory so bad, he can fight for it himself. I’m happy I did it, but I know how hard it can be. Not to sound like a cheesy public service announcement or anything, but it gets easier .”
“ Thanks,” I said. I couldn’t come clean after everything he’d told me .
“ Anytime, man.” He held out his hand. “I’m Oscar, by the way .”
“ Bastien.” I shook his hand and tried not to feel bad about lying, even if it was by omission. He was a good guy. I’d never really thought about the people who attacked our pack. For the first time, I felt guilty about my role. Some of the deaths had been justified—like when wolves and other shifters forced us into a kill-or-be-killed scenario—but not all of them.
“Here, take my card,” he said, pulling out a business card with his phone number on the bottom. Oscar was a plumber. “If you need anything while you’re finding your feet, or if you just need a friend, give me a call .”
“ If you tell me you have a support group, I’m leaving,” I joked.
Oscar laughed. “Nah, nothing like that. But I do have some shifter buddies with similar stories. Nothing wrong with a bit of community.”
Community. I thought that was what I had in my pack, but I was beginning to feel like I didn’t have anything.
I drained my glass and didn’t order another.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate the offer,” I finally said. I put his card in my pocket but couldn’t imagine using it. “I should get going.”
I’d been at the bar long enough, and between the alcohol, lack of sleep, and information overload, I was ready to crawl into bed .
“ It was nice meeting you, Bastien,” Oscar said. “You going to get home okay ?”
“ Yeah, my motel is nearby. See you around.”
I got up on unsteady feet but made it into the cool night air without a problem. It had been a crazy day. Everything I thought I knew had been turned upside down. I didn’t even know where to begin.
My brief walk to the motel didn’t clear my head, and I collapsed into bed, hoping things would look different in the morning. I waited, but sleep didn’t come. After everything I’d learned, one thing played on my mind the most: Casey and her kid.