Chapter 16
Bastien
After tossing and turning a ll night, I finally dozed off just before sunrise and managed a few hours of shut-eye. My wolf metabolism saved me from a hangover, but it couldn’t make up for my lack of sleep. If I wanted to fix that, I needed to talk to Casey and find out once and for all if the boy was mine.
I left my motel room around mid-morning and got in my truck. I only had one destination in mind—Casey’s shop. I stopped at a gas station on the way into town. Hunger gnawed at my stomach, and though eating was the last thing I wanted to do, I grabbed a quick breakfast when I paid. I grimaced after the first bite. The breakfast burrito tasted like chemicals and plastic. I was used to eating fresh venison or meat from the small farms that butted against our territory. Whatever garbage they’d mixed into my burrito wasn’t like any meat I’d tasted. I threw most of it away, vowing to find some real food later. I didn’t want to waste any more time.
I pulled onto Casey’s street, pleased to find it fairly empty. I parked a few stores away and trudged down the sidewalk, each step heavier than the last. If the kid was mine, I’d have to man up. I wouldn’t be a deadbeat father who wanted nothing to do with his son, but that meant leaving the pack. It wasn’t something I wanted to do, despite my issues with Kildaire. There were good people in Moon Edge, and it was the only home I’d ever known. No matter how I felt about Casey, I wouldn’t separate a mother and child, but I couldn’t imagine she would ever join the pack now. I wasn’t sure I wanted her to. She wouldn’t be happy there, and I wasn’t the kind of person who would force one’s hand like Kildaire or Casey. She had a life here, and so did the boy. I respected that.
But what if the kid wasn’t mine?
Why does that idea make me feel sick?
It was probably just the awful burrito coming back to haunt me. I needed answers, but my feet wouldn’t move. The stupid mural of the shrimp riding an alligator mocked me from across the road, its beady eyes judging me.
Letting out a frustrated huff, I dragged myself to Casey’s store. Her magic hummed as I reached for the knob, the faint buzz likely tied to the protective symbols above the door. It was good Kildaire hadn’t known about Casey’s witch blood, or he might never have let her leave. Tobias was frail and childless. No one else in the pack could take over if he died, and Kildaire heavily relied on him. Kildaire would want a replacement when Tobias was gone. I wasn’t sure I would ever forgive Casey for what she did, but I wouldn’t wish for her to be at Kildaire’s beck and call.
I opened the door, prompting the tinkling of a bell, and spotted Casey behind the counter. She paled when she saw me but quickly adopted the same angry expression she’d worn the day before, her eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed together. Hostility, I’d expected, but not her fear .
“ I thought you weren’t coming back,” she said. “You got your reading from Vivian .”
“ I did, not that it helped much.” I approached the counter. “This time, I have questions for you .”
“ Well, I’m not a psychic, so you’re shit out of luck.” She folded her arms across her chest .
“ Luckily, this is going to be more straightforward,” I said. Vivian’s reading had been cryptic, although I was pretty sure I’d figured it out. But I still wasn’t any closer to finding Frankie. “The boy .”
“ What boy?” she asked, playing dumb.
I rubbed my hand across my stubble. It had been days since I last shaved, and I was in danger of growing a beard .
“ Your son,” I clarified through gritted teeth. If she claimed not to have one, I was going to scream .
“ He’s none of your business,” she said, going very still. She reminded me of a black bear I’d happened upon in the forest once. She had cubs with her, and when she spotted me, she was ready to strike if I so much as breathed wrong. I’d given her a wide berth and kept the pack protectors away from that area until her cubs were older. I couldn’t do that with Casey, though. Not about this .
“ He is if—,” the words stuck on my tongue, not wanting to come out, “if he’s mine.”
Once I had my answer, there was no going back.
The brief pause before Casey replied stretched impossibly long. “He’s not yours,” she finally said, her voice flat.
It was the response I should have been hoping for .
“ Are you sure? He’s got my eyes,” I pressed.
What am I doing? I should be relieved. I can leave and focus on my own shit now .
“ There are plenty of people with blue eyes,” she said with a glare.
I stared back, and she looked away first .
“ Look,” she said, playing with a loose thread on her T-shirt. “I had a fling with a guy when I got into town. It wasn’t serious, and he left before I found out I was pregnant. I figured that was for the best. But I know for a fact that Theo isn’t yours, Bastien.”
A sharp, hot pang flared through my chest. If the kid wasn’t mine, Casey had been with someone else. I’d cast her out, so I didn’t have any right to object. But that didn’t stop my wolf from demanding I find the guy who touched her and rip his throat out.
The night we’d spent together flashed through my head. I hated that somebody else had felt her soft skin, tasted her lips, and heard the sweet sound of her pleasure. She was supposed to be mine.
Except she wasn’t, and it had been my doing. I only had myself to blame. I hadn’t wanted her—or rather, I hadn’t wanted a mate. Now, she had a kid with another guy, and I was off the hook .
“ Right,” I said, hoping she didn’t see my—what? Disappointment? Jealousy? I didn’t want a child or a mate. This was my desired outcome. I clenched my fingers into fists until my nails cut into my palms. My wolf side only saw my fated mate, but nothing had changed. I was free to carry on with my search for Frankie. I needed to focus on that. “Good .”
“ Good?” she questioned. I couldn’t tell if she was surprised by my response or challenging it.
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
Ironically, I hadn’t been with anyone since Casey. As a teenager, I’d fooled around with girls but backed off when I realized they all expected commitment. Packs like ours didn’t do casual. I was the only man my age who wasn’t married. Even Jules had settled down with a nice woman, Desiree. He extolled the virtues of married life at length, but it hadn’t made a dent in my commitment to remain alone .
“ Is that all?” she asked.
There was no reason for me to hang around. I had my answer. In fact, there was no reason for me to see Casey ever again.
My stomach clenched .
“ Yeah, that’s all,” I said. I turned to leave but stopped at the door and glanced over my shoulder. She was watching me, her arms still wrapped around her torso. My wolf urged me to go to her, to claim my mate. “Goodbye, Casey .”
“ Goodbye,” she said, barely above a whisper.
I returned to my car, a high-pitched whine blaring in my ears.
I hadn’t ever expected to see Casey again—I hadn’t wanted to. But walking away was harder than telling her to leave the first time. The anger I’d been hanging onto wasn’t there anymore.
I thought about her son and how excited he was to see her. He’d hugged her so tight. He was only a little younger than I was when my parents died. Casey had built a nice life for herself and moved on. It was me who was stuck.
I drove away, intending to find a diner and order the biggest plate of eggs, bacon, and sausage they had. Then, I’d figure out how to locate Frankie. I was at a loss for what to do, but protein might help.
There were other questions I had, like what happened the night my father died and why Frankie ran away. They should have been the most important thing on my mind, but try as I might, I couldn’t get Casey and her son out of my head.
When I’d decided to never take a mate or have kids, it was an abstract idea. I planned to dedicate my life to protecting the pack and refused to leave my mate or child in mourning if I died. I had a clear purpose. Now, what I’d given up was no longer a concept—it was real.
But I’d chosen my path, and there was no going back.