Chapter 4
Aiden
I can’t stop staring at him. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t.
It’s like my brain hasn’t yet accepted the fact that the infuriating wolf I’ve known all my life is truly my mate and searches for some hidden evidence that I’m wrong, because this is wrong.
There is no fucking way that Julian Heil is my mate.
But there he is, with blue eyes shot wide and full of emotions I didn’t even know he was capable of feeling. Julian has always been a stone-cold wall, only ever expressing one emotion—hate—and always aimed at me. Now, that wall crumbles right in front of me as terror bleaches his skin.
“They must be mistaken.” It’s Ma’s bristling words that seep through the thick haze surrounding my mind, forcing me to focus on something other than Julian’s eyes.
“A hex,” Julian’s mother agrees quickly, horrified and still swivelling her sharp stare between Julian and me.
Despite wanting nothing more than their theories to be true, I find myself glaring at the pair as Max stirs to defend Julian as ours, but just that thought has my stomach knotting.
“Dear Goddess,” I mumble as I slide a hand into my hair. “I’m going to be sick.”
“No matter what it may or may not be, we can’t allow our packs to worry,” Julian’s father declares sternly as he points a finger to the door. “Beth, Maria, assure them that all is well.”
“But all is not well,” Ma hisses, a vein straining in her neck.
“We will pretend it is.” Julian’s mother replies sharply. “Goddess knows our people need their Lunas’ comfort now more than ever.”
Not willing to fight that undeniable fact, Ma lets her panicked stare linger on me for a moment longer before she struts away with a curse, rushing for the main doors with Beth at her side.
Seeing them go has new worries bubbling to the surface. What on Earth would happen to our packs without Lunas of our own? Could a pack even function without one?
My fingers find my roots again, and I tug on them as I close my eyes and pray to Goddess to forgive me for whatever horrible sin I committed that led me here. I knew I wasn’t the most stand-up guy, but this surely is too much. This goes beyond a punishment. It’s a fucking nightmare.
“First,” Julian’s father, Michael, breathes once the doors shut again. “Are you two certain that you’re mated?”
The question has a growl building in my throat on its own accord, mixing with Julian’s as he bears his canines at his father. We both step forward, only to freeze when our glowing eyes meet. My blood runs cold as I watch horror flood him.
“I guess that answers that,” Michael mutters stiffly.
I force my eyes away from Julian’s because I can’t fucking look at him. I settle them on my dad instead, and he offers me a pained expression that only makes this all worse.
“Ma’s right. This must be some sort of mistake,” I say, as I take a lost step towards him. “There is no way we can be … he cannot be my—” I can’t even say the word.
“I know. I know,” he agrees, reaching over to give my shoulder a squeeze. “I’ve heard of many abnormal pairings, but never of two alpha mates.”
“Because it’s not possible!” Michael hisses, glaring at me as if I’m to blame for this. “They’re not just alphas. They are two male alphas! Two alphas cannot mate. They’d kill one another just trying.”
My heart jumps at the thought of mating Julian before my stomach knots uncomfortably. To mate with Julian would be … I swallow hard to work past the nausea that immediately follows.
“Even if they were to try, without children to carry our lines, how would the packs survive?” Dad sighs as he runs a hand over his thick beard. “Why would the Moon Goddess do this?”
“Do not question our Goddess,” Michael snaps with all his pretentious righteousness. “Just because we can’t see it now, doesn’t mean there isn’t a purpose to this.” He nods. “Everything will be fine.”
Michael could say whatever he wanted to play the perfect devotee of our Goddess, the panic is still written all over his face, and the stench of it rises from him like wolfsbane.
He wants to know the same thing we do. Why in all the realms would the Moon Goddess do something so wicked?
Seeming to remember his son, Michael faces Julian, who’s been unusually quiet, and my body urges me to do the same, but I refuse it. I don’t care if it’s the mate bond. I don’t trust this new connection that tries to convince me that Julian Heil is someone worth worrying over.
But I am worried. It pricks my mind first and then blooms throughout my body in an instant. And when Michael whispers, “Son,” in a tone too soft and careful to be his, it overwhelms me.
My gaze lifts to the wolf who is now a magnet for my soul, and my heart lurches at the sight of him.
He’s wound tight by muscles that strain to keep him together. To keep him perfect and muted as always. He tries to, but his fingers tremble despite his efforts, and there’s a sheen over those crystal eyes. It’s like a knife to my heart.
To see Julian upset to the point of tears would’ve made me giddy ten minutes ago, but all I feel now is agony and the unfamiliar need to make it stop.
“We’ll figure this out,” Michael promises, stopping me mid-step with the reminder that there are others here. “For now, it’s imperative that neither of you does something rash like rejecting the other.”
I hadn’t even considered rejection, and the word settles in me like a bomb. Rejecting Julian as my mate would set me free from him, but it would also mean the ruin of both of our packs.
I’d never seen it, thank Goddess, but a mate’s rejection is worse than death. To have your other half, the one meant to love you like no other, declare they don’t want you is enough to send any wolf mad.
Even if I were the one to break our bond, I already know I couldn’t lead as a jilted wolf. My people come first, always. But would Julian feel the same?
Risking another glance in his direction, I prepare myself for the worst, but not for the apprehension swarming him as he looks at me.
“Don’t.” It’s a quiet, stiff whisper, but it’s still enough to tear me apart.
“I’m not going to reject you,” I mutter, as I force myself to look away before I do something stupid like go to him.
The sigh of relief that comes from him shouldn’t please me as much as it does, nor should the way he straightens himself with his usual confidence afterwards. Almost as if he’d been waiting for those words before daring to.
“For now, we should complete the rest of the ceremony,” he says, as he quickly reclaims his usual certainty. “The packs will want to see for themselves that all is well with their new alphas.”
I nod, busying myself with thoughts of my people instead of the fuckfest that I’d fallen into.
“I’ll push back my first run with the pack as alpha,” I say, looking to my Dad, who nods. “I’ll leave Emitt to lead the one tonight while we try to figure this shit out.”
“I’ll do the same,” Julian agrees, meeting my eyes for a fleeting second. I swallow hard.
“That seems best,” Michael agrees, but it’s clear the last thing he wants is to go along with this.
“You two must be civil until then. Now more than ever, the packs will need to see strength and unity, especially from their new leaders.” His glare sharpens.
“Make it through the ceremony without ripping each other’s throats out, and we’ll discuss next steps after. Can you do that?”
We both manage stiff nods and nothing more.
“Alright,” Dad says with a forced smile. “We’ll go gather everyone back inside.”
Left alone for the first time, Julian and I stand idly on the stage while we watch our fathers head for the doors. We try not to look at each other, but hellish instincts force us to every now and again.
The next time our gazes meet, I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, only to fall short because when he looks at me, the rest of the world blurs to make room for him.
I still hate him, still want to strangle him with my bare hands.
But I also want to hold him. And that is the part that makes no fucking sense.
“We should take our positions,” he says after a moment. “We’ll be the ones overseeing the transfers now.”
I nod, forcing myself to move to my side of the stage instead of towards him, where the scent of something right drifts.
Julian’s scent had always been foul to me, but now I only smell lemons and watermelon.
It’s a sweet mix that smells like summer, and I try like all hell not to breathe it in, but I can’t help but inhale secretly.
By Goddess’s grace, why does he have to smell so fucking good?
The Hall fills, wolves whispering among themselves as they enter. We ignore them and face their stares head-on, refusing to waver in front of our people.
Inside, I’m the opposite of my calm exterior, but as their new alpha, I will not appear weak or unsettled to my pack when they need me. Julian, thankfully, does the same, presenting as an unflinching force that soon has the whispers dying down.
When everyone’s back, settled in their places, and the elders are waiting on stage, I step forward.
“We—”
“Let us—”
I snap my attention to Julian as he does to me, looking every bit as annoyed as I am by the interruption. There were rehearsals to ensure our fathers didn’t clash like this, because alphas were notoriously proud, but this is different.
I want to take the lead as an alpha, but also as a mate, and Julian apparently has the same idea. My eyebrows dip and his fingers flex at his sides as he meets my glare with one of his own.
“We’ll keep the ceremony moving swiftly,” dad says as he hurriedly climbs the stairs to the stage. “Starting with the betas. Betas! Please join us.”
Emitt rushes up, along with Julian’s beta, Beckett, both hurrying to stop an explosion from taking place as they gently prod us to turn away from one another.
It takes too much effort to turn my back on my enemy, and even more from my mate, but when I manage, I put all my attention into the people in front of me instead of him.