Chapter 6 #2
Suddenly, mustering an apology doesn’t feel so bad.
I lick my dry lips, trying to remember what I’d been saying, and also what day it is.
“Julian—”
“I’m done in there, so you can go ahead,” he mumbles, shuffling through the folded clothes in his bag.
Julian ignoring me is nothing new. I usually like pushing him this far. What I’m not used to is the added sting of knowing I’m the cause of my mate’s anger.
“I’ll shower after we talk,” I reply, stepping towards him—only to still when his towel slides an inch lower on his hips.
The guy’s basically naked, and I’ve seen plenty of guys naked, but this is the first one that makes my stomach flip. I shake my head to clear it, but then Julian tugs underwear on beneath his towel before letting it drop.
More flushed skin. More Julian.
My eyes glide up his long legs, and I shake my head harder this time. Goddess have mercy, focus Aiden!
“I wanted to say sorry,” I manage, hoping he’ll at least acknowledge that, but he doesn’t. “Julian.”
Shrugging on a shirt and then pants, Julian doesn’t spare me a glance as he heads out the bedroom door. Stunned, it takes me a moment to follow.
“Seriously, Julian?”
Max whines painfully when Julian marches on. He’s aching from the cold-shoulder treatment, and I hate to admit it’s getting to me too.
“Hey!” I call after him. “I’m trying to apologise!”
Julian doesn’t budge.
I follow behind him like a fucking pup, and I fucking hate it, but I also can’t help it. I should just leave him to pout like a child, but the more he ignores me, the more desperate I become for his attention, until I forget all about apologising and focus instead on getting his eyes back on me.
He puts the kettle on and gets eggs out as if I’m not even here.
“Would you just listen to me?” I beg, and I’m practically shouting now.
“Look, I’m sorry about shoving you off the bed this morning, okay?
I freaked out, and I reacted without thinking.
I’m really fucking sorry. I’ve said it a million times now, so can you please stop acting like this and just-” look at me.
Julian stills.
I hold my breath, but with his back to me, I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I take a step forward, but before I can take another, Julian turns around and finally looks at me.
And I wish he hadn’t.
“It was my fault,” he mutters, shame swarming in his eyes. “You told me not to touch you, and I did. I didn’t mean to, but I get it. I get why you would react like that.” He shrugs weakly. “I know that it probably felt disgusting to wake up like that, and that I grossed you out, so I’m sorry.”
“What? No.” Disgust was the last thing I felt. “That’s not why I reacted like that.”
“You don’t have to lie, Aiden,” Julian groans, rolling his eyes in a poor attempt to hide the hurt still sitting there. My heart breaks, but he badgers on. “I’ll sleep on the ground or something. I don’t know, but don’t worry. It won’t happen again.”
He tries to turn away, but this time, I reach forward and grab his wrist.
He stiffens, glancing up at me before he gives his wrist a tug, but I don’t let go. Blue eyes flare as he tries again, but I only tighten my grip.
“Aiden,” he warns, but I dig my fingers into his skin. He strains against me, tugging with all his might, but all it does is draw me closer. His breath hitches, and so does mine. “Let go of me!”
“I will, when you listen to all of what I have to say,” I growl, but my annoyance only spurs his. “Just let someone else speak for once.”
Stubborn as ever, Julian only tugs harder, and we fall into a tug-of-war with his arm until he stumbles back, and I go with him. His back comes up against the fridge, and we both freeze as our chests meet.
His body is firm against mine—his chest, his legs, his arms. I’m so lost taking it all in that I almost miss the way his eyes shift wildly, already searching for an escape, already off of me, again.
My temper flares to life and I move in quick, caging him against the fridge with my body while I slam his wrist beside his head so that he has no other choice but to look at me, and only me.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” I snap as rage courses through me.
Julian goes perfectly still, his eyes wide as he stares unblinking at me. I stare back, and the tightness around my heart finally eases with his attention where it should be.
“I freaked out,” I explain, exhaling as a strange calm slips over me. “I get bad dreams sometimes, and when I woke up with you holding me, it freaked me out.”
“…Bad dreams?” Julian whispers while his eyes narrow an inch.
It’s strange to hear concern from his lips, stranger still with how sincere it sounds.
I force myself to nod. “They’re not the best, and I wake up feeling like I’m still in them sometimes.” It isn’t the whole truth, but it’s the most I’ve ever given anyone.
“You can sleep on the bed. It’s fine,” I continue as I back up a little and clear my throat.
“I was in the wrong, not you, so I’m sorry.
I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but I am honestly sorry.
You don’t gross me out or anything like that.
And you are not disgusting—don’t call yourself that again. ”
Julian’s eyes grow wider with each uttered word until they’re close to popping in their sockets.
They’re blown wide in a way I’ve seen a lot over the last twenty-four hours.
But what I’ve never seen? The way colour slowly begins to splotch his pale cheeks until they fill and become a bright, peachy red.
Thoughts of everything else are abandoned in an instant.
“Are you …” I squint, not quite believing my own eyes. “Are you blushing?”
“N-no.” Now he’s stuttering, and that colour in his cheeks is spreading into his neck.
“You are,” I accuse while I stare at him. My eyes dart all over his face and to my pleasure—because this is pleasure that I’m feeling—Julian turns his face to the side and squirms as he tries to hide his flushing cheeks from me.
It’s … adorable.
Julian Heil is not adorable—I try to remind myself of that, but here he is, desperately trying to hide his blush from me, which prods at the perverse excitement that bubbles inside me and makes him look cute in my eyes.
By Goddess, this bond really is insanity unleashed.
Max pushes against our bond, eager to join in admiring our mate, who unravels in front of us like a rose. I’d been cut by Julian’s thorns too many times to get close enough to know there was something so lovely inside. But this is a treat.
“You’re kind of cute when you blush.”
It’s a thought not meant to be said aloud, but I’m glad it is when Julian’s horrified eyes dart to mine, and his blush spreads to his ears.
Julian shifts against me, and my gaze slips downwards. At some point, I’d pressed myself back against him, and not just with the intent of keeping him still. His body is tense, but it feels right where it moves against mine. It feels good.
He strains in my hold, against the hand I still have wrapped around his wrist, but he’s not really trying.
Despite all the shit I said, Julian is a strong wolf, and we both know that if he wanted out, he’d get out.
But he just keeps playing at resistance, and that …
that makes my blood heat fast as I realise that Julian doesn’t want out because Julian likes this.
Gaze locked, I tighten my grip on his wrist, waiting for him to shove me off. But he doesn’t. His chest heaves against mine, and a shudder runs through me.
I keep my eyes on his as I claim his other wrist. Still nothing. I move his hand up, going slowly as I wait for the moment he’s going to stop me. It never comes. He lets me pin both his hands beside his head.
I swallow hard as Julian lets out a shaky exhale, and we both struggle for our next breath.
His heart pounds against my chest and his eyes grow hazy, clouding with the same insanity that urges me on.
I listen to it, listen to the lust in his eyes as I drag his wrists higher until I’ve pinned them above his head.
I keep them there with one hand, and let the other fall to his hip.
I grip them both tightly as I press him into the cool metal at his back.
His head falls back with a soft thud, a full-body shudder racing through him, and echoing straight through me. Julian stares at me through slitted eyes, holding my gaze as he waits for what I’ll do next.
… Holy fuck.
It’s the mate bond and the effect of being too close for too long. Even knowing that, I can’t stop. I’m sure I could if I tried hard enough, but the horrible truth is, I don’t want to.
Giving in, I bury my nose in the crook of Julian’s lean neck, the scent that’s been taunting me since last night flooding my senses. I inhale him deeply, stifling a groan as I crowd him against the fridge until every inch of his body is covered by some part of mine.
“Stop,” Julian begs in a breathless whisper that makes me pull back just enough to meet his eyes.
They’re still dazed, and he still doesn’t try to make me move.
“Aiden,” he warns—and fuck, when did my name start sounding like that from his lips?
My lips tilt up as I study his. “Say please.”
That pops the bubble.
“Absolutely not,” he snaps, pride making a fleeting appearance. It sputters out as his gaze drops to watch the way his legs spread for me as I slip my thigh between them. That lost look returns almost instantly, and I need more.
“Just l-let me go.” The stuttering is back, and I’m a fucking sucker for it.
“Last chance, Jewels.” I whisper as I drag my gaze from his flushed cheeks, searching for any sign I’m reading this wrong, because the last thing I want to do is fuck this up again—whatever the fuck this is.
His eyes hold pure defiance, but behind that, there’s a twinkle of something that sets me ablaze.
“No.” He tries to sound confident, but I won’t forget the slight tremor that runs along that single word any time soon.
I return to the crook of his neck, but instead of just breathing him in, I let my tongue flick across the plane of his smooth skin.
“Ngh!” Julian moans, and I freeze.
I pull back, not quite believing my ears, but I have to when he blinks back at me with a perfect mirror of my shock.
That little moan … that needy little sound … is probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. No, that’s definitely the sexiest sound to grace my ears, and paired with those rosy cheeks, I want nothing more than to hear it again.
“I told you to stop,” he mutters, and good Goddess, why does he almost sound shy? He looks angry too, as if I forced that moan from his lips, a thought that makes my cock buck.
“And I told you to say please.”
This time, I don’t hesitate. My tongue slides over his skin, tasting him—claiming him. Julian strains beneath me, and my grip on his wrists tightens until he shudders against me.
“Oh Goddess,” he breathes, before he clamps his lips shut. He tries to stifle himself, to hide those sounds from me, until I bite into his flesh and rip another moan from him. “Agh!”
Julian’s loud—louder than I expected someone like him to be, but it’s definitely a welcomed discovery. Every wrecked sound riles me until the thin string of logic I’d been clinging to snaps, leaving me a man hungry with desire.
Dropping his hands, I slip mine under his thighs, driving him up until he has no choice but to wrap his legs around my waist. Julian squeaks a little, fingers digging into my shoulders as I use my own body to keep him pinned.
I rock forward, and we both moan.
“Ugh, f-f—!” Julian doesn’t let the curse out while I mouth his skin, worshipping it with nibbles and licks that make him moan for me.
This is what I wanted. Those needy sounds, those breathless gasps. I hadn’t expected to get his body clinging to me, but I love it all the same because this isn’t the Julian I hate right now. This is Julian, my mate, and all I want to do is please him.
My hips start rocking on their own, slow at first, then faster, until I’m grinding my hardening cock into him. Julian melts in my arms, the friction seeming to send him over the edge as his cock thickens against my stomach.
The air shifts with the scent of our arousal and Julian’s makes me drunk. Whether or not he found the strength to say please now, I wouldn’t stop—couldn’t stop, and I doubt there’s anything in this world that can make me now that I have a taste of my mate.
My lips lay claim to his skin, leaving behind marks for all to see while I make my way up his neck to his ear. I trace the shell with my tongue.
“Ahh,” he moans, louder this time, while his grip on me turns to steal.
Note to self: go for the ears.
“Y-yes,” he whines as I suck the lobe between my lips and revel in the twist in his scent. “There,” he groans, trembling.
Julian is a mess. He’s putty in my hands with all his previous resistance drowned in blind lust. I soak it in, greedily chasing every sound he gives me.
It’s proof I’m pleasing him, that he feels good with me, and that gives me something greater than joy or pleasure.
It’s a rush I want to chase forever, and I will.
I’ll map every inch of his body with my tongue until I turn him into a panting, wrecked beast who only knows how to unfurl for me, and—
“What the fuck.”
The world slams back into focus around me, and it does so with a vengeance.
The lust parts like a cloud revealing a red-faced Julian waiting on the other side. I freeze as if I’d been shot with a silver bullet, and so does he. Panting, we stare at each other, each too afraid to make a move, but when his gaze flicks up, I reluctantly look over my shoulder.
Emitt stands in the doorway to my apartment, his expression something beyond shocked. Behind him, Julian’s friends look just as frozen. The terror on their faces is a bucket of ice.
Slowly, I set Julian down, but I don’t let go. I should, but I don’t want to. Not with others here to witness him unravelling like this.
I glance back at him, and he’s still flushed pink. Fuck.
He doesn’t move away either. Instead, his grip on me tightens, and that’s all the confirmation I need.
“It’s the mating bond,” he says into the quiet as the colour fades from his cheeks. I frown as I watch it go, tucked away behind his usual stone-cold mask as he fixes it back into place.
I want to bite his neck again, just to watch that colour flood back. But there are other people here now, watching us, reminding me of who we’re supposed to be.
“Yeah,” I mumble. “We can’t control it.”
Julian nods, and I stifle a laugh.
What a load of bullshit.