Chapter 8
Aiden
The next four days pass by in a blur of meetings I fear will never fucking end.
Announcing a plan to merge two ancient packs was one thing, actually doing it was another.
Once the news got out, the Council wasted no time sending their best healers to examine our bond, making sure it wasn’t the result of some overlooked magic.
It was annoying, and honestly a bit insulting, but we couldn’t ignore the Council.
Besides, I’d be lying if I said that part of me hadn’t hoped they might find something while they smoothed their elixirs over my skin.
They didn’t. No hidden ruin or curse—just confirmation that Julian and I were mates. Then the real work began. And by real work, I mean paperwork. So. Much. Paperwork.
Every day, I trekked over to the Black Moon packhouse for another round of our highest-ranking officials filling our ears with all the shit we had to do. It felt like I was drowning in work, and the only relief was that I wasn’t doing it alone.
I had Julian, and as strange as it was, we were too busy to argue so, we’d fallen into a system of sorts.
Julian’s computer brain sifted through all the technical, political shit, making sure all our Xs were crossed and Os circled, or whatever the fuck that saying was, and I managed our everyday tasks while dealing with the fires that popped up in our packs.
We were doing pretty well, all things considered, but I’m still fucking exhausted. And even after another full night of undisturbed sleep, I’m frowning before I even open my eyes. When I look over and see Julian curled on the far side of the bed, it deepens.
Since our first night, Julian and I haven’t woken up anywhere near each other. It’s like he’s trained his body to stay on the very edge of the mattress, never slipping closer. Not that I want a repeat of that morning. And Goddess knew, a lot happened that day.
It’s just that every morning, when I wake up and see his blonde hair strewn across the pillow, I get irrationally annoyed that he isn’t close enough to touch it. And I can’t tell if that feeling is coming from the bond, or me.
Drawing my gaze away, I drag myself to the bathroom and leave the door open. It’s second nature at this point, to avoid the pain of our first day as mates returning.
Only a handful of people know about that particular oddity in our bond. We don’t need anyone trying to exploit a potential weakness, so we’d agreed to keep the list to our parents, betas, and elders.
The elders were investigating the anomaly for us and yesterday, one of them finally uncovered a name for it in the archives—vinculum conscientia, which they’d said translated to “mate or bond awareness.”
The cause is yet to be determined, but supposedly, the effect fades the more time we spent together. Julian guesses, or prays, that since we literally haven’t parted since our coronation, it should be gone any day now. Which is a good thing. A great thing.
In the shower, I try to scrub that into my faulty brain, and by the time I step out it’s taken root.
It’s unfortunately rinsed right back out when I slip out of the steamy bathroom and find Julian sitting on the edge of the bed.
His usually perfectly combed hair is a mess of wild strands that stick out everywhere.
Still half asleep, it takes him a moment to notice me, but when he does, his sleepy eyes lift to mine, and he offers me a weak, lopsided smile.
My heart rams itself against my ribs. It batters them, going wild while I stare at my mate, more specifically at his mouth as he smiles.
“Morning,” he mumbles before he rubs the expression away and heads for his turn, completely oblivious of the way I stare after him until I can’t.
This is madness, I say to Max the second I hear the shower start. These feelings are madness!
This is the bond, he replies gruffly.
The bond is supposed to be a pull, I argue. This feels like compulsion.
Well, it is the bond … and …
I pause, And what?
And Julian, he finishes, the name coming hoarsely even to him. You must admit, he’s always been as attractive as he is infuriating.
Attractive?! I almost shout the horror aloud, only just managing to bite my tongue. Attractive and Julian aren’t two things I’ve ever thought to put together.
Oh, come on, Aiden, Max retorts, almost scolding now. He is not unattractive, and we’ve witnessed certain endearing attributes in him since the coronation, haven’t we?
I think of Julian—of his clear eyes, and his little scowls.
I think of all the expressions I’d seen flit across his face over the years, all hateful.
And then, I think of the ones he’d shared recently.
The quiet laughs and twitch in his lip when he tries not to smile.
The pinkness in his cheeks when he’s embarrassed.
I think of him sitting on the bed with that sleepy smile, and my heart lurches again. Fuck.
Closing my eyes, I force myself to think of something else—anything else—that’s not Julian’s face or his scent that has taken over every square inch of my room.
I don’t think about the smiles or the laughs. I definitely don’t think about the blush, and when Julian comes out with his hair pinned up in a bun, except for the few strands that bracket his long neck, I don’t think about that either.
“Yes … Thank you very much,” Julian says into the landline. “Yes. We will … of course … alright. Good day, councillor.”
I wait until I’m sure the call has ended before I ask, “So? What’s the verdict?”
“The land is ours.” He grins up at me. “They’ll send someone to ensure our wards are as they should be, and then we’re free to start any projects we’d like.”
“Thank Goddess,” I blow out as I sink back into my chair.
I’d never doubted the Council would approve our bid for the land, all things considered, but there was always room for fuckery.
Luckily, that isn’t the case this time, and it’s thanks to, well …
Julian. Goddess knows the process of filing for permission would’ve taken me a week longer, but he’d gotten through it before the weekend was even up.
“Good … job.” The words fall out like blocks from my lips.
Julian stills on the other side of the table.
He blinks at me like a deer in headlights, waiting for me to run him over.
When I don’t, he slowly nods and fumbles with his pen.
He ducks his head, making hair fall that he’s quick to tuck back behind his ears.
As he does, I catch a glimpse of pink at their tips.
It takes too much effort for me to drag my gaze away.
“I’ll put out a notice for volunteers,” I say. “I’m meeting my scouts in the morning, so I’ll start with them. And once the wards are up, I’ll lead the search groups to chase out anything lingering there.”
“Mix it evenly with members of both our packs, and that sounds good to me,” he replies while he eyes the room’s whiteboard, no doubt noting how nearly every task he’d marked on there is crossed off.
“I think that’s the last big hurdle. Things should return to normal in the next few days.
” His eyes light up as he whispers, “which means I can go back to school soon.”
I stiffen. “School?”
Julian looks at me. “Yes,” he replies carefully. “I plan to finish the year.”
I remembered Julian mentioning as much before the coronation, but I’d hardly paid it any mind. What did it matter what Julian decided to do? His stupid plans were his stupid plans, but that was before I knew he was my mate. Now, though?
“Why the hell would you do that?” I ask, the space between my brows pulling tight. “You don’t have to go—our parents can’t make us anymore, and I’m sure you’ve learnt all you need to know about the humans.”
“I want to learn from them, not about them,” he says, but now he’s frowning too.
I blink at him, hoping he realises how little sense that makes so I don’t have to say it. His expression flattens a second later, and he shakes his head. “I just want to go.”
“What about your pack?” I ask when he drops his attention back to his trusty notebook. “What about our pack?”
“What about it?” he retorts, pen scribbling new nonsense. “We’re unstable now because of the circumstances, but you know as well as I do that packs mostly run themselves. We delegate the heavy lifting, and I’ll be back here at the end of each day to do that. Anything else, I can figure out.”
He says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world—as if the prospect of us spending hours apart each day is nothing—while spiders crawl all over my skin at just the thought.
Does he not feel it too? The bond’s weight seeping in and protesting this idea? Or is it not the bond at all?
“I’m not going back there,” I say, shoving that harrowing thought away. “I’m not going, and we can’t go anywhere without each other.”
Julian doesn’t even glance at me. “I said next week. If the elders are right, our ‘mate awareness’ should wear off by then, and we’ll be free to go wherever we want—alone.” He shrugs a shoulder. “So you won’t have to go anywhere with me.”
Full-fledged panic blooms inside of me.
Since that moment in his father’s office, all I wanted was to be apart from Julian.
I would’ve given anything for it. Anything to go back to living my life like before, with our bond as something we just learnt to live around.
But then a week had passed where I spent every waking moment with him, and I … I got used to it—to him.
I got used to working with him to piece together our new pack. To having dinner together, and lunch and breakfast too. To the way his eyes lit up when he solved something, and the small smiles that sometimes broke through all the cold he usually gave off.
Without realising it, I got used to having Julian in my life, and now he wants us to just go back to normal? As if normal is even a thing I can want anymore? It isn’t. What I want, is for us to stay together and keep things as they are now. I want … I want us to stay together.