Chapter 10
Julian
“I just don’t understand why you’d willingly come back here,” Isabel says, dragging her feet beside me. “Don’t you love the pack more than”—she gestures to the grey halls around us—“this?”
“I like the education,” I reply, a sentiment I’ve already shared numerous times.
“But you’re failing biology,” Beckett says, almost curiously, but when I glance at him, there’s already a too-pleased grin waiting on his lips.
“Weren’t you failing everything?” I shoot back, making Isabel snicker. “And didn’t you get kicked out of physics for failing so particularly well?”
“Speaking of physics—is that why you’re smiling?” Isabel asks, brow quirked. “Because we have it first period?”
I barely resist the urge to cover my mouth. I didn’t even know I was smiling.
“Of course,” I reply, schooling my expression into neutrality. “Astronomy is the best.”
The pair share a groan before falling into a conversation I can’t follow, my mind snagged on that smile—and the real reason behind it.
Aiden appears at the forefront of my mind with his bright grin and too-dark eyes, and my insides squirm with something that has nothing to do with nausea.
Something’s shifted between us.
I can’t pinpoint exactly when or how, but after last night, it’s impossible to ignore.
When Aiden pulled me to him in the dark and I didn’t rip his throat out, I thought that by morning I would be able to think past whatever spell had been cast on me. Instead, morning came, and it took me thirty minutes to get out of bed.
Worse, I drew him a bath and cooked him breakfast. Me! I did that because no compulsion spell could last that long without touch and the bond didn’t have the power to force me to do it either.
And then I found myself in the middle of a hug.
Aiden and I never touched unless fists were raised. But this morning, there’d been no fight—only his arms around me, a glimpse behind his shades, and the chance to mark him with my scent.
I lift my wrist to my nose, and my muscles unwind as lingering traces of sweet pine warm me. I’ve always resented the scent, but laced with mine, it carries a strange sort of comfort.
“Julian, are you listening?”
I drop my wrist. “Hm? What was that?”
Beckett and Isabel stop short, and I almost walk straight into them as they turn to study me.
“We were talking about the packs and how they’re transitioning,” Beckett says, his green eyes holding mine for a second longer. “Maybe we should set up private meetings with our counterparts. Me with the Dark Woods’ beta, Isabel with the other scouts, and so on.”
I nod quickly. “That sounds good to me. I’m sure Aiden would agree.”
“You’re sure, what?” Isabel coughs. “Since when have you and Aiden agreed on anything?”
“Since Goddess put a mate bond between us,” I reply, slipping between them and marching towards the open doorway at the end of the hall. “We can talk about it more later.”
In the lab, I head for my seat, with Isabel trailing in after me. She wisely remains quiet while I open my notebook, flipping through scribbled formulas and jotted reminders I’d left for myself while we wait for class to start. Not a single one sinks in as my mind drifts once again to my mate.
Morning aside, Aiden’s been acting weird lately—annoyingly loud and talkative one moment, and silent and broody the next. And it’s been upsetting me.
I’d asked what was wrong just to clear the air, and the next thing I knew, I was running baths and asking him to meet me at lunch.
Lunch. Goddess have mercy, that already feels so far away.
I trace my thumb over my wrist. The bond thrums quietly in my veins, heavier without him. No pain though, just a slight pressure on my chest I know only Aiden can ease.
By the Plains, it’s barely been twenty minutes and I already want to see him.
Not that I will. No matter what the bond or whatever else is at work demands, wanting to spend every minute with him is ridiculous.
I had a life before him, and I can have it again.
I just need to think past Aiden and this compact need to be with him.
A compact need? Alex scoffs in amusement. If you think anything about this is compact, then you’re delusional.
Okay, so maybe it’s a bit more consuming than that.
This bond, that boy, and his annoying wolf are a black hole and they’re eating us alive, Julian, Alex declares, all but dumping our truths on the table in their plainest forms.
I grit my teeth because he’s right, it isn’t just the bond anymore. It’s Aiden.
The mate bond makes a wolf yearn for their other half, but it doesn’t alter your perception of them.
That part I’ve done on my own. With each passing day, I’ve been growing closer to Aiden instead of further away.
Aiden, who is suddenly charming instead of infuriating.
Aiden, who knows how to be a competent alpha and not just an overgrown man-child.
I should’ve revelled in his incompetence this morning, and left him behind. Instead, I practically brushed his teeth for him. But he’d been so tired, and all I’d wanted to do was help. Then he’d hugged me and held me close, and nothing had ever felt so right.
I love touching Aiden. I hate that I do. I hate him, but Goddess, I love being in his arms and having him in mine.
Alex groans, but it almost sounds like a moan as he pushes forward. If we’re delving into the finer details … then perfection is what happened in the kitchen.
I shove Alex away with a mental battering ram.
The last thing I want to think about is that day, but it’s too late.
Images of Aiden and the way he looked at me tumble into my mind like rolling snow in an avalanche.
Dark eyes filling with hunger and want. My fingers tighten around my wrist like his did.
My breath catches, and I can practically feel him pressing against me again.
Goddess, his body had felt so good rocking against mine …
his lips tracing my skin … his teeth biting my—
“Mr. Heil? Are you with us?”
I jolt, and notice the waiting stares of my teacher and classmates. I blink several times before it registers that class started at some point and I didn’t notice.
“Um, yes. Sorry, I’m here.” I grab my pen and scribble down the mass of problems already on the whiteboard.
When the hell had that gotten up there?!
With an unimpressed hum, my teacher carries on, leaving me to catch up. I’m not surprised to find Isabel frowning at me when I look at her, but I shake my head.
This is precisely why I asked Aiden for space.
It took the entire car ride to work up the nerve, and while it’d been hard, it’d been worth it. It didn’t matter that I’d crumbled pitifully at the end and all but begged him to meet me for lunch. I put space between us and gave myself room to focus on my classes, just like I wanted.
Now, I just had to do that.
Tightening my grip on my pen, I clear my mind and get to work.
My steps are slow as I leave my math class, my notes no different than when I walked in. Math was usually safe terrain, but just like with physics, I hadn’t worked through a single problem. Despite my plans and best efforts, my mind won’t leave Aiden.
I want my mate. I want his scent covering me and mine on him, so that this blinding and insistent need that’s turning me into a useless, fidgeting mess goes away.
I thought I’d gotten used to ignoring the bond and its effects, but it’s as if these new feelings have tangled with it and amplified everything.
“Okay, that was your fifth sigh,” Beckett says while we walk towards our next class. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Beckett’s frown deepens and I have to look away to avoid it. We don’t lie to each other—ever—but I barely understand what I’m feeling, so I have no chance of explaining it. And since he isn’t Aiden, there’s nothing he can do to help.
We carry on a little further before traces of pinewood pass under my nose. My head shoots up, and I zero in on the source in a split second. Caught up in conversation with his beta, Aiden walks straight towards me from the other side of the busy hallway.
Aiden. His name comes like a purr in my mind.
My body buzzes, cutting out the circuits to my brain as I bypass the open door of my next class and head for him instead.
“Julian?” I ignore Beckett’s call as I rush towards my mate.
Aiden’s head snaps up when I’m halfway to him and I almost stumble. Those dark lenses hide his eyes, but I can feel his heavy attention focused solely on me. I shiver under it as I come to a stop in front of him.
“Hi.” That’s safe, right? People say hi all the time. This isn’t weird.
“Hey,” he says, and goosebumps sprout over my skin. “All good?”
Absolutely not.
“Yeah. What about you?”
“All sunshine and rainbows over here,” he jokes, but his shoulders are like stone.
Is he struggling too? Because if he is, then he won’t mind if we talk? Maybe we could scent each other too? My fingers twitch at my sides as I part my lips, but then the bell rings.
“We’ve got math,” Aiden says as he circles Beckett and me. “Maddox always bitches when we’re late.” I turn and my heart tightens as he backs away. “I’ll see you at lunch.”
“Okay.” I stare after him, the picture of calm and composure, but the second he’s out of sight, anxiety whirls into my entire body.
I just have to wait until lunch. I have one more class, and that’s it.
I repeat it like a mantra to calm myself and Alex before I look at Beckett. “I don’t want to hear it,” I growl and head for class.
Beckett’s grin doubles. “I didn’t say a word.”
Parked at my usual lunch table with Beckett and Isabel seated across from me, my eyes remain glued to the cafeteria’s double doors as I wait for my fix to arrive.
Part of me hates myself for being so pathetically desperate to spend time with Aiden of all people, but that part has grown quieter throughout the day. Now, all I have is meagre scraps of self-control and dignity, and it’s hanging on by a splitting thread.
“You okay, buddy?” Isabel asks gently.