Chapter 10 #2
“I’m fine,” I say too fast. “Why? Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m fine.”
“Are you, though?” Beckett asks in the same tone. “Because the creepy staring contest you’re having with the door, and your shaking leg, are kinda saying something else.”
I glance down and grimace when I find my leg really trembling. I force it to still.
Beckett and Isabel eye me with an irritating amount of understanding. They think it’s the bond. I wish it were only that.
“I’m fine,” I say again, though I’m no longer sure if I’m trying to convince them or myself.
He said he’d come, and yet …
Dropping my gaze, I idly toy with the foil of my lunch while my hope sputters out and my upset settles in. The clock ticks on and I try to stop checking, but my eyes keep dragging back up to check like a lost pup.
Lunch is almost at it’s end when the doors finally push open. My heart leaps as I sit up, but the quickly sprouted hope wilts when neither of the boys that walk in are the one I want to see. But I do know one of them.
My chair screeches beneath me as I stand and head towards Aiden’s beta.
“Hey,” I call out before he can join the queue. “Emart, right?”
The wolf at his side, an omega, quickly covers his mouth, but there’s no missing his snickers.
“It’s Emitt,” the beta corrects through narrowing eyes.
Okay, not the best way to start with the person closest to Aiden. I should apologise and make small talk first to smooth things over.
“Sorry. Do you know where Aiden is?” Close enough.
“Yeah, he just went back to the pack. He said he needed a run.”
The words are like a punch to the gut.
“Oh.” I reply dumbly while I try to wash away my disappointment, but it clogs my next breath.
“Didn’t you say that he was really keyed up during math, Emart?” the omega asks conversationally.
“Keyed up?” I echo, looking to Emitt, who glares at his grinning friend.
“He’s fine,” Emitt dismisses as he looks back at me. “He was just a little worked up, and when he gets like that, he makes sure nobody is in the line of fire.”
“And why would he be worked up, I wonder,” the omega asks innocently as he blinks at Emitt.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Emitt declares as he takes hold of the omega’s shoulders and pushes him away. He pauses, softening to me. “He’ll be here after school for you guys to head back together.”
Nodding aimlessly, I hear myself thank Emitt while I watch him go with his friend. I try to ignore it, to dump it somewhere far away, but my shoulders still slump as sadness crests inside me. It’s impossible to ignore, and impossible to get rid of because I … I miss my mate.
I miss Aiden.
But I’d made my bed, asked for space, and now, I won’t be able to see him until the end of the day—if I even make it that far.
“Goddess have mercy.”
When the final bell rings, I’m the first out the door.
I follow the thread of my mate bond and I’m outside in seconds, scanning the parking lot.
He’s leaning against my car where I parked in the back of the lot as if it’s his, with his arms across his chest and a smirk I can’t believe I missed waiting on his lips.
My hurt from earlier lingers, but it’s quiet now at the sight of him.
I slow, not wanting to show just how eager I am while I take in every inch of him. His short sleeves expose his ink, and I follow their lines with the same attention as the gun that put them there.
“Someone’s giddy,” he teases as I approach. “Good day? Enjoy all that extra time with your beloved books, Jewels?”
“Maybe,” I allow, stopping in front of him. “I would ask how you fared, but you left.”
Aiden’s smile slips as he pushes off the car. “Sorry about that,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I got bored, so I went for a run. Turns out, I can only handle being in that place for so long when I don’t have to be.”
I force myself to nod. I want to tell him he should’ve let me know. That he shouldn’t have promised lunch if he wasn’t going to be there. But voicing any of that reveals things I’m not even ready to accept myself.
“I should’ve told you, though,” he continues, making my brows lift. “I’m … I’m sorry I didn’t.”
It’s sinful how that’s all it takes. Aiden says sorry, and—poof—there my anger goes, up in a cloud of smoke while silly, jubilant butterflies riot in its place.
“It’s okay,” I say, lifting a hand. “We’re both adjusting.” Understatement of the century.
Aiden chuckles. “That’s putting it nicely.” He tosses me my keys before sliding into the passenger seat.
I head for the wheel, eager to get us back to the pack and his place where we were more … tactile. When it’s just us, Aiden’s a lot more self-assured in touching me, and after hours apart, I need that side of him to show itself.
“Seatbelt,” I say once we’re both settled in the car.
“Oh, come on.”
“Seatbelt.”
“We’re not going to die if we get into an accident, Jewels,” Aiden says, even as he reaches for his seatbelt.
“The law is still the law,” I remind.
“It’s a human law,” Aiden says before mumbling curses about my messed-up sense of duty.
I wait for the click before I carefully pull us out of the lot. My foot is slightly heavier on the pedal than usual as I steer us towards his packlands. I’m practically itching at this point to have Aiden to myself, and the quiet drive only makes it worse.
This morning, Aiden’s chatter had been nonstop and insistent, but he doesn’t say a word now.
He sits perfectly still at my side, with his gaze pointed straight ahead.
But even with my gaze fixed on the road, I’m hyperaware of his body next to me—of every breath he takes and the steady shift in his scent.
It sharpens, becoming more distinct in a way that muddles my mind so much that I barely notice the chill of the pack’s wards as we drive through.
“We’re here,” I whisper lamely as I roll towards the colourful packhouse.
“Yeah,” Aiden replies, unbuckling his seatbelt before I’ve even put the car in park.
The engine quiets beneath us and I wait for him to get out. Aiden stays where he is, making my heart pound. I slip my fingers away from the steering wheel and sink back into my seat.
We sit, neither speaking, while the air thickens and our scents mix into a heady, blinding song.
“Julian,” Aiden whispers, like the start of something, but it fizzles out when I look at him.
He’s still wearing those shades, and I’m just about ready to push them off like I did this morning, but then his fingers suddenly slide over mine.
It’s electric—his skin, his touch. It’s everything I need.
Raw sparks erupt between us, making my soul warm from the inside. I close my eyes at Aiden’s soft groans, and shiver as they vibrate through me. His fingers sink between mine next, their grip firm, and whatever’s left of my self-control finally snaps along with my patience.
I pop my seatbelt free, climbing over the armrest and on top of him. He stiffens beneath me, but I’m too busy pulling him to me to care.
I try to bite it back, but a small whimper escapes as I shove his collar aside so I can bury my nose in his nape. Bliss rushes over me, and it blots out everything else. His scent pours into me, rich and overwhelming, and I melt against him.
Groaning, I press closer, wanting every inch of his body against mine—to feel him.
The pleasure is instant. Everywhere our skin brushes heats, growing hotter by the second as our bond knits us together from the inside.
By the time Aiden wraps his arms around me, I’m panting and incapable of pretending otherwise.
We both groan when he pulls me closer still, so tight I can’t take a breath that isn’t full of him.
His fingers slip into my hair to pull it to one side, but they linger even as he buries his nose in my neck.
They trace the skin behind my ear, making me shiver against him as pleasure blooms inside of me like a storm.
I only wanted to touch him, to feel the comfort of being held by him. But this is different. This is stronger and steeped in the type of pleasure we’ve only explored once before.
“What’s this for?” Aiden suddenly asks, breaking the shell of my haze. I still, thinking to pull away, but then he slides his wide palm down my back, and I can’t move except to shiver.
“What was the hug for this morning?” I counter, sitting up.
The roof presses against my head as I look down at Aiden—Aiden’s shades. I push them out of the way so I can see him. Underneath, wide black eyes stare up at me, holding mine expectantly as he waits for what I’ll do next. Me, because this is the first time I’ve touched him like this.
My face heats, but I bury my nose back in his nape before he can notice.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his pulse jumping beneath his skin, skittish like mine. “Did something happen in school?”
“I’m fine.” Lies. Lies. Lies and more lies.
I’m not fine, and I haven’t been since he told me he was leaving the pack because he wanted to be with me.
My heart refuses to settle as my lips hover over his skin. I want to touch him more, feel him, learn him, and—my lips brush against his neck, drawing a sharp breath from him that ignites me.
He did it to me. I can do it to him, right?
It’s not wrong. How could it be wrong when he’s my mate?
“Julian?”
I press a kiss to his collarbone, being just as gentle as he’d once been with me.
Aiden’s hand on my back stills, and panic quickly flares. I wait for him to tell me to stop or push me away, but when he doesn’t, I kiss him again, lingering this time so I can taste him.
Aiden remains still beneath me, heart hammering against mine while I drag my lips across his skin. With each kiss, I grow a little bolder until I’m worshipping him, and soon I want more. I waver for only a breath before I suck his skin between my lips.
“Mmh,” Aiden groans beneath me, dropping his hands to my hips. I steal a breath and do it again. His fingers dig into my skin, making me shudder hard as my lungs free the breath I was holding.
Aiden likes this. I can hear it in his staggered breaths and smell it in his scent. Aiden more than likes this—he loves it.
Confidence boosted, I trace my tongue along his scent glands, and a shiver echoes through his body as he moans beneath me. The sound is a strained, raspy one, and I instantly want to hear it again.
Abandoning the slow, light kisses, I bite Aiden’s neck and suck on the space beneath his jaw until he’s cursing beneath me. His grip on my hips turns almost painful as he thrusts up, grinding every inch of himself against me. Goddess, he feels so good.
“Julian,” Aiden starts, but it turns into a groan when I press my hips down to meet his. “Fuck, Julian.”
Dragging myself from the crook of his neck, I take in the red, wet marks littered across his collarbone. Pride rattles through me as I trace them with a finger while my greedy eyes take in the rest of him—his strong body beneath mine, his heaving chest, those hungry, predatory eyes … those lips.
My gaze snags there, on those full, pink lips, and when he licks them, Alex almost breaks free.
What would a kiss from Aiden Calderon feel like?
As the dangerous thought takes hold, I glance up at Aiden only to find his eyes fixed on my mouth. Desire crashes inside me like a hailstorm, and my heart picks up speed.
I’ve never kissed anyone, never been kissed, or even wanted to. I’ve always been happy to wait for my mate to share every first with them. I’m looking at my mate now, and even though it isn’t anything like I imagined, all I want to do right now is press my lips to his.
But Aiden is a guy, we’re both guys, and even as close as we’ve become, that’s a step further …
a scary, enticing, tempting step further.
The last thing I want to do is mess whatever this is up.
But his eyes haven’t left my lips, and Goddess help me, I just want to know what his feel like. And what he tastes like.
I lean forward, eyes flicking to his one last time before they fall shut. I feel his short breaths and wait for our lips to meet with my heart beating in my throat—then his hand presses against my chest.
I open my eyes. Aiden’s are blown wide but they’re completely void of any of the lust I thought I’d seen. A bucket of ice water falls on my head.
“What—” He stops himself as his eyes dart to my lips, only to jump back up. He pushes me back, shaking his head. “We can’t …” he falters. “Julian, you can’t just …”
He doesn’t finish, but it’s enough. His words are like a fist around my heart, squeezing until it has no choice but to break. The rejection hits me with brutal clarity. Gone are the butterflies, the need and want, leaving only the miserable ache as I stare blankly at my mate.
I don’t feel the tear running down my cheek until Aiden lifts a hand to wipe it away, but his touch no longer feels good. I push away, wiping it myself before I force the door open.
I stumble out, wanting to get away from him and the pain.
“Julian,” he calls, chasing after me. “Wait! Julian!”
I shift into my wolf before more tears can fall and bolt for the woods.
I put as much space as I can between us until I’m back in my packlands.
Only then do I let Alex take over. He tries to console me, but I brush him away and crawl into the shadows between us.
I try to sink into it, hiding from the pain of Aiden’s rejection, but it’s everywhere, just like him.