Chapter 17 #2
Some people felt comfort seeing their parents. All I felt was a shit-ton of dread. The kind that makes my eyes burn behind my shades and my heart sink in my chest.
“Think you can back out of here fast enough?” I ask. My mother folds her arms over her chest, gaze pinned on me.
“I can, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be waiting for you wherever we go,” Emitt replies quietly. “I say bite the bullet.”
“Would be much easier if her bullets weren’t made of silver,” I grumble, before I force myself out of the car to face my ma like a big boy.
While Emitt rolls away towards safety, I stride towards my mother. I’m tempted to walk right past her, but I’m not suicidal.
“Aiden,” she greets—more a growl than a word. We’ve only just started, and she’s already a picture of barely contained rage.
“Yes, Ma,” I reply with a sigh, too familiar with this side of her to be anything other than tired. “What can I do for you today?”
“You’ve been ignoring me for weeks,” she seethes, her brown eyes boiling now. “You’ve kept your father and me away under the excuse of ‘urgent matters,’ and you ask what you can do for me?”
To be honest, I’m surprised I’ve made it as long as I have without this confrontation.
I’d been blatantly ignoring my parents ever since the coronation because, unlike Julian, I don’t think I owe them a damn thing now that I’m alpha.
Maybe once, before they turned into terrible parents, sure.
But they hadn’t done shit for me in years, so I don’t owe them shit in return.
They believe the complete opposite, so I’d been expecting this tantrum a week ago. But alas, pride.
“You’re running our pack into the ground,” she declares firmly, and it takes every effort not to roll my eyes.
“Am I?” I ask dryly.
“Yes, you are. You are ignoring your main duties in favour of attending that human school,” she spits with flagrant disgust. “You have not spent nearly enough time overseeing the newly claimed lands between packs, and as I understand, it has been four days since you’ve spent a night in our packlands. ”
I watch her carefully, waiting until I’m sure that she’s done before I reply.
“My main duties are just fine. Julian and I have a yearly, monthly, and daily agenda set up that we balance between the two of us.” I don’t mention that it had been forced onto me by Julian’s overactive planning, but I use it all the same.
“And I have been overseeing the projects within the new lands. In fact, I’m the one making sure the wards are up to standard.
And tonight will be my fifth night here because we’re commuting for the time being because that’s what we decided.
You know … Julian and I … as mates and alphas … of our packs.”
Sidestepping her, I continue down the dirt road. “And as for school, I’ve got a really important biology project that I just have to do.”
I take five blissful steps before her enraged growl sounds from behind me, and my ma returns for round two.
“You think the state of our pack is a laughing matter?” she asks, stalking at my side. “Not everything is a joke, Aiden.”
I rake a hand through my hair, reaching for the remnants of overworked patience. “I just answered all your concerns,” I reply tightly. “What else is there to complain about?”
“I’m not complaining,” she hisses. “I’m ensuring that you don’t ruin everything before the year is even done. You should be more involved with what’s happening within the packs. Baxton and Felix sent out the blueprints for the new buildings, and yet Julian is the one meeting with them as we speak!”
“Yeah, because he likes that shit and I don’t.” A dull ache starts behind my eyes. “He’s doing that because this morning I was up at the ass-crack of dawn planning our next Lunar Celebration. It’s part of the agenda.”
It’s ironic that the agenda I’d fought tooth and nail against is currently saving my ass, but my life remains a joke. If Julian could hear me now, he’d never let it go.
“You should be doing both, Aiden!” she chides. “You should be spearheading every project, attending every meeting, so that the packs see you and recognise you as the—”
“As the what?” I ask, whirling on her so quickly she stumbles.
Mouth ajar, Ma suddenly finds herself at a loss for words as she becomes my sole focus and the object of my rapidly mounting rage.
“As the what?” I repeat through my descending canines.
She drops her gaze, aiming for a placation. “I’m only trying to remind you that you’re the alpha of our pack, and when the packs join, you will be the real—”
“I advise you to stop talking,” I say in a dead whisper that’s nearly drowned out by the growl filling my chest.
Muscles bound tight, she stays quiet, barely breathing, as pure instinct protects her from making another grave mistake.
In the silence, I inhale deeply and take a moment to compose myself as my extended claws slowly retract.
“When the packs join, Julian and I will both be alphas,” I snarl over her, and she ducks her head lower. “There will be no difference between us. Anyone who thinks otherwise will find themselves dead, or in a new pack if they’re wise enough to open their mouths like you.
“And mother,” I grit as I take a step closer.
“You can say what you want about me, but don’t you dare ever suggest that my mate is anything other than a true alpha.
” I keep my tone measured as I lean in to whisper, “This is a warning because you’re my mother, but say something like that again, and who you are, won’t matter. ”
I walk away, and this time, she doesn’t follow me.
The silence isn’t so peaceful anymore. It’s grating.
I quicken my steps to get myself far away from her and anyone else mulling about before I snap, because that’s exactly what I feel like—like I’m about to snap.
Deep breaths. Calm thoughts.
The familiar mantra plays in my mind while I head for Julian’s home.
Deep breaths. Calm thoughts.
It doesn’t help. It rarely does.
I walk faster, but with each step I take, the pulsing ache behind my eyes builds like a warning. It’s one that I take seriously, knowing what usually follows my rage getting the best of me.
Deep breaths. Calm thoughts.
By the time I make it through our door, the pain has morphed from a dull ache to a searing burn that turns my vision hazy.
“Julian,” I call, hoping for no response. For once, Goddess answers my prayers.
From there, my movements are automatic: soaking a rag, filling it with ice that I crush between my fingers, dragging myself to the couch. Seated, I take a moment to prepare myself before I pull my shades off.
The raw light is near blinding before I lay the wet fabric over my eyes. The relief that follows is instant and so damn glorious that I can’t help but sigh as I sink into the leather and empty my lungs.
Lying there, in the stagnant house, I repeat the mantra.
Deep breaths. Calm thoughts.
Still useless. Always useless.
Worse now, with my mother’s words looping in my skull. Usually, I could drown my mind in the noise of the outside world. The ever-present buzz of my own pack had become my remedy, but I’m not home right now. I’m in Julian’s pack, and it’s too fucking quiet.
Deep breaths. Calm thoughts.
My left hand settles over the cloth, keeping it in place. My right … in the quiet—the all-too-familiar quiet—my thumb starts rubbing over my knuckles.
Aiden, Max warns, but whatever he says after is lost to me as my mind reels.
Do other people think that?
My thumb presses in slightly, focusing on the tendons.
I’d prepared myself for opposition to Julian and me as mates, but I’d never once worried that our status as alphas would be questioned. It speaks for itself—we are both alphas. But now poisonous doubt festers, and I need to know if others share the same opinion.
The pressure behind my thumb builds, splintering bone.
If I could find them, I could kill them before their thoughts spread like poison.
My thumb presses harder and harder.
I could kill them all.
Snap.
Lifting one corner of the rag, I look down at my right hand and my broken index finger. Through the blood red tint clouding over my vision, I watch quietly. It takes a few seconds, but the finger reconstructs itself until it’s wholly mended, as if nothing happened.
I wiggle it a bit before I dig into my pocket and call the first number on my speed dial.
“Emitt. I’m coming tonight … Yes, I’m sure … I’m fine.”
When I hang up, I let the freezing cloth fall back down over my eyes, and as the silence pulls me back under, I slide my thumb over the next knuckle.