Chapter 61 #2
“What’s wrong?” Alex asks as he stops beside me. The water brushes his feet, but Alex doesn’t flinch. He continues on, striding in without pause, only bothering to stop when the water brushes over his thighs. He looks back at me with a raised brow.
“It’s cold,” I say, but the words are breathless as I struggle to drag my gaze away from his body. Fuck, if he isn’t gorgeous under the moonlight. He looks like he’d just stepped down from the Plains.
Alex rolls his eyes, but walks further until he’s deep enough to dive into the water. I jolt on his behalf, feeling a shiver rush over my body as I watch him swim in the icy water without a care. Not that brave or hostile to my body, I slowly but surely inch into the water.
I’m submerged to my calves when I consider just scrubbing at the banks. It’s also at this point when I notice that the water has gone strangely still, and I can’t see Alex.
“Alex?” I call as I look around, but there’s no sign of him. “Alex!”
I rush forward, trudging through the waters before I dive under. I search, but the murky water is too dark. I come back up, and I can see Alex, only he’s floating with his face down in the water.
Heart-shattering, I swim towards him, not slowing until I’m turning him in my arms. I push the wet hair from his face with shaking fingers and try to calm down enough to listen for his heartbeat.
Blue eyes pop open, and I jolt with a curse while a sly smile spreads across his lips.
“Took you long enough,” he drawls as he slips free to tread the water. “If that was real, I’d be dead-dead.”
“What … you were—”
“Faking it,” he finishes for me. “To get you in the water, and it worked. We would’ve been here all night at the pace you were going.”
“You tricked me,” I breathe as I wade towards him. Alex gulps before he tries to swim away. “You fucking tricked me.”
Alex turns, but I grab his arm before he can escape and pull him close.
Then, because I know his greatest weakness, I tickle him.
Laughter rumbles from his chest as he splashes in the water, kicking and jerking like a fish out of water.
He tries to escape, but with all his squirming, he just flails.
My lips pull into a familiar smile as I target all his weak spots. Alex squeals, and I chuckle. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him this happy, and witnessing it promises to mend my soul.
“Mercy! Have mercy!” he screams just as my fingers slip under his armpit. “Max!”
I stop my attack and draw him against me so that he doesn’t drown for real. Alex’s eyes barely stay open as he pants against my chest with a smile that matches mine.
“You are … such an … asshole,” he rasps, and my smile widens.
“I try my best.”
Alex snorts a laugh as he chuckles in my arms, and my lips threaten to tear as I watch the way his eyes brighten with unfiltered joy. They find mine and stay there until we’re staring at one another.
Our breathing is no longer so strained, tapering off until it’s as calm as the water we soak in, and we just …
look at one another. In my chest, my heart beats a longing tune that I hear him mirroring.
I feel it too—feel the way the bond burns, and I heed its call.
I draw in, and Alex’s eyes grow heavy as he tilts forward, but then—
“No,” he whispers, almost questioningly.
“Alex—” I try, but he’s already slipping from me.
“No!” he snaps, his eyes incensed as they dart between mine. But there’s not only rage there. There’s so much pain … so much yearning. “You don’t get to do that, Max.”
“Alex, I’m sorry.” It’s not the time—it’s the very worst time. I know that, but it’s the only thing I can say. “I’m so sorry for what I—”
Alex is out of the water before I can even finish. He takes off into the woods, leaving me alone in the water. Groaning, I drive my fingers through my hair while my mind races.
How am I supposed to do this? How can I fix this when he barely even tolerates being near me? I want to show him that I’m truly sorry, but how can I when he’s too hurt to see that it’s true?
As far as Alex is concerned, I’d gone against my promise and left him alone, and now he couldn’t trust me anymore. But of course he didn’t when I’d made assurances only to break them.
The water mutes my curses as I sink beneath it instead of following after him.
He didn’t want me near him right now—he made that clear enough—and I couldn’t risk making things worse. So I stay where I am, taking my time when I scrub myself clean before dressing, grabbing his things and mine as I head back to the fire.
It flickers with newly added branches just a few paces away from where Alex lies in the shadows. He’d shifted, likely to keep warm in his fur, but the sight of the wolf I’d chased all my life so far only causes the painful snare in my chest to tighten.
My lips part, but I clamp them shut before I can make another mistake.
If I didn’t even know what to say, is there any point in bothering?
Silently, I follow his lead and shift before dumping myself on the other side of the fire. I stare at him through the flames until sleep comes to claim me.
“Shit,” Alex curses as he pulls his hand away from the wobbling surface with a glare.
“Let me do that,” I scold as I step between him and the barrier. “You’ve shocked yourself five times already.”
“And I’ll do it five more if I have to,” he retorts, but thankfully, he doesn’t try to shove past me. He turns and continues along the barrier’s edge, this time a few paces away and with his hands at his sides.
I follow after him, keeping close without being close enough to make him glare at me.
I learnt quickly after the first morning that while Alex realised I was not going to leave him alone, he wanted several paces between us at all times.
It’s a stark contrast to what I’m used to: being glued to his side, holding his hand as the centre of all his attention … But it’s better than nothing.
It’s our third day locked in this “arena,” and as Katerina promised, there is no way out. There are only our meagre supplies, a few loose hares, and a small family of wolves that keep to themselves.
Even though it’s clear that there is absolutely no way out, Alex still woke at the crack of dawn to look and, powerless to do anything else, I arose to do the same.
Trailing on the path we’ve walked ten times over, we continue in the same painful silence that returned whenever Alex wasn’t cursing our other halves and the world as a whole. Around us, the wind blows, tugging at leaves that cling to their branches.
“Do you remember when we got stuck in that strange plain with Tobias and Chris?”
The words slip from my lips before I realise I’m speaking.
Alex stills, turning around with a frown that reluctantly fades as recognition sparks within his eyes.
“The one none of us knew a thing about because someone decided exploring without a plan was a chance to experience truly living?” he retorts, lips twitching as he glares at me.
It’s almost a replica of how he’d glared at me back then, but there’s not nearly enough of the mirth we’d shared for each other.
“We kept losing Chris because he’d trail off without saying anything. Then we’d find him in a corner crying because he swore something was chasing him,” I continue, laughing as the memories of Chris huddled in a corner flood my mind. “I miss it sometimes. The Plains.”
“Weird, coming from the guy who used to say how much he couldn’t wait to leave,” he scoffs as he turns and carries on. But before I can fear this brief reprieve is over, he continues. “You were so desperate to be paired off.”
“You seem to forget saying how, ‘each and every one of Goddess’s Resplendent Plains was too small to contain you’,” I shoot back, and he snorts a little.
“Touché.”
The silence threatens to creep back in, but I refuse to allow it as I rush after him. “How have you felt about the talks about kids?”
To my surprise, Alex whirls to face me with a bewildered look. “What kid talk?” he exclaims loudly.
“It started with Michael,” I remind with a frown. “He was very eager to remind us that as alphas, we’re supposed to provide the pack with heirs. He said that pack members have started asking questions.” I feel my brows drawing together as I stare at him. “Have you not been present for any of this?”
“I—” he starts as guilt quickly trickles into his gaze. “I haven’t been paying enough attention.” He admits before swallowing with effort. “H-how do you feel about it?”
I accept his deflection without comment. “Truthfully? I’m not the biggest fan of kids, and I’ve never liked the idea of having them as werewolves.”
“Why not?” he asks, almost defensively.
“It can be confusing, for them and for us,” I reply with a shrug. “The kid has to grow up with four parents, which must be a shitshow when you’re trying to figure out who your ‘real’ parents.”
“But they understand the concept as they grow with it,” Alex defends, and I huff a laugh.
“Sure, but even for us, they’re ours too, but we’d only get to see them sometimes. The rest of the time, we’d be watching from the sidelines.”
I already knew I wouldn’t like that. I liked the idea of family too much to, even despite the state of the household I found myself a part of.
Leah and Hayes, Aiden’s parents’ wolves, had never wanted to know me.
From the very beginning, they had made it clear that they were the wolves in charge, and I was meant to respect them.
I had no problem doing that, but I wouldn’t have minded if they’d wanted more—to get to know me perhaps.
Unfortunately, that was not the way most wolves worked.
“I never thought about it like that,” Alex whispers as his frown fades, and he slumps.
I offer him a weak smile before continuing onwards. “It would be more trouble than it’s worth.”
Alex’s steps sound behind me as he follows mutely.